Tag Archive for committee

GOP: Grown Up Stuff Is Boring

The second week of impeachment hearings has passed and it certainly looks like America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty as hell of a quid pro quo. Each and every witness called before the House Intelligence Committee has provided compelling evidence that not only Trump knew about the deal to strong-arm Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, but his whole corrupt administration was in on the deal. Talk about your smoking gun (or smocking gun if your Trump). Not only that, the orange haired man-child pretty much admitted to holding up military aid to Ukraine to pressure the government to investigate a baseless conspiracy theory about Ukrainian election interference and Democratic collusion Friday on his favorite TV show Fox and Friends on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

So, we have historic testimony of wrongdoing by a President of the United States and what do the corporate news media clowns focus on: how boring it is!!! Seriously!!! Not only did the jokers at Fox whine about how unexciting the hearings were, other networks like NBC also commented that the hearings “lacked the pizzazz necessary to capture public attention.” Yeah, that grown up stuff like running a smooth, efficient government is pretty boring, we guess. While we agree that many American citizens suffer from chronic attention deficit disorder and have been dumbed down to comical levels (i.e. Donald Trump was somehow elected President for Pete’s sake!) we here at the Bucket have found the hearings compelling and enlightening. For one thing: the Republicans are absolute scum. They’re no longer the party of Eisenhower or even Reagan, Bush or Dubya. It was unbelievably repulsive watching Devin Nunes or any of the other flying monkeys on the Republican counsel blatantly try to bully and intimidate the witnesses, all in an attempt to please their dear Leader: clearly putting party above truth, justice and country. Maybe Mr. Nunes and the conservative corporate media would rather have the hearings feature the dance stylings of Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer performing a salute to Carmen Miranda. Yeah, that would please Trump supporters.

Sean Spicer, fresh from being voted off Dancing with the Stars, will be featured entertainment on the impeachment inquiry hearings performing his salute to Carmen Miranda.
Due to whining and crying from Republicans that the impeachment inquiries were boring, Adam Schiff announces that the hearings will now offer entertainment featuring the dance stylings of Sean Spicer.

Ol’ Pruneface Grassley


One person who came to the forefront for his surliness in the sham Kavanaugh hearings was Iowa senator, Chuck Grassley. He’s the very epitome of a cranky, cantankerous, old man sitting on his front porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Even the BilgeBucket’s resident old coot, Chester Einstein, says Grassley out-cranks him. Now that’s cranky!

Well, not only was his surliness during the hearings widely noted, he stated this week that the reason for the absence of GOP women on the Senate Judiciary committee was due to the heavy workload, implying that women couldn’t handle the job like a man could. The committee has never had a female Republican on it, whereas Democrats currently have four. Grassley, of course, backtracked and spun his comments like a true conservative Republican, but given his behavior toward the women involved in the Kavanaugh hearings, we think this sexist old coot should probably retire to his front porch for real come 2020 when he’s up for re-election.

We here at the Bucket are old enough to remember the Dick Tracy comics and we think that ol’ Chuck Grassley, with his permanently dour, sour and stoic expression bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s villains, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol' coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy's old nemeses, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol’ coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s old nemeses, Pruneface.