Tag Archive for christian

Oval Office Follies

The big story this week was the Oval Office budget meeting between America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence and Democratic House and Senate leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We’ve had our doubts about both Pelosi and Schumer because they’re both corporatists who do their fair share of cozying up to moneyed interests and they’ve shown in the past a willingness to cave in a little too quickly to Republican demands (like many other Democrats have done in the past twenty years, i.e. the Iraq War, Patriot Act, etc…).

But we’ve got to admit that we like what we saw from Pelosi and Schumer. They made Trump look like a buffoon by getting him to take ownership of any looming government shutdown on video for the whole country to see. Meanwhile, Mike Pence sat like a bump on a log in his chair, doing absolutely zilch, zippo, nada, bupkis, diddly-squat. We love all the Pence memes that are making the rounds this past week. We like that comment that he looked like he was at a strip club. Yes, America… if Trump is impeached, then we’ll be in the stoic, ultra-conservative hands of Puritan Pence, which gives no sane person in America a warm fuzzy.

In a recent Oval Office budget meeting with Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence tries to keep his thoughts pure while America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump tries to keep his thoughts empty.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence use impressive conservative skills to outmaneuver Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi in a recent Oval Office budget meeting.

Lion Trophies

There have been a multitude of jokes about America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s offspring, especially his boys, Eric and Donald Jr. They are the epitome of spoiled rich kids. Who can forget their haunting pre-election photo with Ivanka where they channeled the Children of the Corn. Now, Donald Jr. is sweating his pompous ass off waiting for a possible indictment in the Mueller investigation and Eric continues making stupid comments, this time on Twitter like his good ol’ dad.

Much has also been said about their big game hunting in Africa and their poses with the dead animals that they slaughtered for no other reason than to prove what manly men they are. It’s this toxic masculinity (and other factors such as human over-population, pollution, and global warning among others)  that has led to half of animal species disappearing since the mid 20th century. We understand that many people in the world must hunt animals for food and basic survival. But these big game trophy hunters and especially poachers are pieces of dung. They hunt these beautiful animals just ‘for sport’; a sick thrill of watching a magnificent, unique animal die unnecessarily just so the human can feel like the master species of the planet.  Just click on the link above and take a look at the sick fucks beaming from ear to ear, posing with their kill. What the fuck!!! We need to be preserving these animals, not rushing them to extinction!

Quite frankly we’d love to see the tables turned, especially on the Donald’s progeny. Seeing Eric and Donald Jr.’s heads mounted on a tree by some lions on an African savanna would be sweet poetic justice.

A couple of noble, African lions marvel at their latest trophies; a couple of spoiled rotten, rich, American brats trying to be manly men.

A couple of noble, African lions marvel at their latest trophies; a couple of spoiled rotten, rich, American brats trying to be manly men.

Trump’s Tearful Tribulations

Since the midterm elections, America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, seems to be more and more unhinged. The recent incidents concerning Veteran’s Day memorials for soldiers and war veterans who gave their lives for their country illustrate how colossally inept, clueless and insensitive the orange haired man child is.

First, Trump was roundly criticized for skipping out on a memorial service for World War I veterans in Europe because it was raining. Then he ducked out of a memorial service on Veteran’s Day at Arlington Memorial Cemetery because he basically didn’t feel like it. Of course, he blamed his subordinates for his mistake in typical, authoritarian, Trumpian fashion. His disrespect toward military figures exemplifies a disturbing pattern with Trump that points to his deep insecurity when compared to men who have actually sacrificed something for their country. During the 2016 election campaign, Don the Con famously criticized John McCain stating “he likes people who weren’t captured”. Last week, the unstable megalomaniac criticized retired Navy SEAL Adm. Bill McRaven, who commanded the 2011 raid that took down Osama bin Laden for not capturing the terrorist mastermind sooner. This from a man who got out of service in Vietnam because of bone spurs and probably couldn’t win a game of Stratego with his youngest son Barron.

We have no doubt that Trump would probably find fault with former President, Commander of the D-Day forces and war hero Dwight D. Eisenhower, who we’re pretty sure would not be too fond of Trump.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump whines that his pain and suffering fighting the press is much worse than the sacrifices that war heros like Dwight D. Eisenhower made while fighting against the Nazis, who really weren't that bad according to Trump.

America’s CEO/Dictator, master strategist and most persecuted human being of all time, Donald Trump, whines that he’s a real hero and not war veterans who fought against the Nazis like Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Rewind: The 2006 Blue Wave

Results are still trickling in from the 2018 midterms and the blue wave is a lot bigger than the corporate main stream media proclaimed it to be. Why is it that corporate news outlets, especially conservative ones like Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, can never admit that the Republican candidates lost and their world view is not popular with average Americans? CNN, MSNBC and other corporate media outlets all declared early on that the blue wave was more of a blue trickle. They did this during the last big ‘blue wave’ election in 2006 as well.

We dug up from our archives, an old article from that “thumpin'” in 2006 that pretty much describes the same toxic climate we have for this year’s midterm elections. We guess it’s like that old corporate media saying, “if it’s broken, don’t fix it…as long as we’re making money”.

This article is from our November 13, 2006 issue.

Holy Cow! Dems Win! Republicans Trampled, Crushed, Whupped, Clobbered, Drubbed, Thumped…They Got Beat BIG TIME!

In a thunderous rejection of President Bush’s foreign policy in Iraq and the scandal ridden Republican controlled Congress, the American public voted Democrats into power across the board in elections held last Tuesday, November 7th. Not only did the Democrats take control of the House and the Senate for the first time since 1994, they also seized control of many state legislatures and have an edge in governorships as well. The Democratic victory has also prompted many resignations and dismissals, like Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and RNC Chairman Ken Mehlmann. Among the many high profile Republicans defeated were: Senator Rick Santorum, Senator George Allen, Katherine Harris, Representative Richard Pombo and Representative J.D. Hayworth..

The new Speaker of the House, California representative Nancy Pelosi, said, “This is a stinging rebuke for the misguided policies of the Bush Administration. The American people have spoken and they are angry. President Bush has to work with us now and in particular me. They say ‘paybacks a bitch’. Well that bitch’s name is Nancy Pelosi.”

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry said, “Well a few weeks ago I said we were like the Chicago Cubs; always snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Boy I thought I blew the election with my botched joke about being dumb and getting stuck in Iraq. But even though the media beat it into the ground and flogged me with it on a daily basis, the American people decided they were fed up with Republican shenanigans and not my loquacious, meandering, sleep inducing manner of speaking. What I’m trying to say is: Cubs win! Cubs win!”

Even though President Bush acknowledged that is was ‘a thumping’, many Republicans and neocon pundits were in denial about the loss. Arizona Representative J.D. Hayworth, who was beaten by Democrat Harry Mitchell, still hasn’t conceded even though major wire services have called the race for Mitchell and there is a four percentage point difference in the vote count. “Nuh-uh!” whined Hayworth in typical Hayworth fashion. “There is no way I lost to Mitchell. That is just pure fantasy. I’m J.D. Hayworth. I wrote a book about immigration reform. People like me. I’m J.D. Hayworth. We’re just going to count and recount those votes until I’m victorious. So there! I’m J.D. Hayworth and I approve this tantrum.”

Host of Fox News Hannity & Colmes, Sean Hannity, said, “Please! I would hardly call this a ‘Blue Wave’ like everybody in the liberal media is calling it. Sure some Democrats won some races and they took back the House and Senate, barely. It’s nothing like the glorious revolution of 1994 when the Republicans swept into power ushering in a glorious age of ass-clenched conservativism. Those days are gone my friends. The next thing you know, Osama will be invited to address Congress by that terrorist loving Nancy Pelosi. She’s probably having a sex party in her office right now with her unholy sex slaves from San Francisco. God I hate her!”

Chris Matthews, host of Hardball, said, “You know who I’m going to miss? All those guys like Tom Delay, Bob Ney and Randall Cunningham. Sure they were corrupt, but they made it exciting didn’t they? Now we’ve got Hillary and Nancy nagging at us all like mother hens. Things will probably get done now. We won’t have any fun. God I hate them!”

Many Americans felt good about the election results. Karyn Green of Teller, Virginia said, “For the first time in six years I have a feeling of hope. Maybe now Congress will check Bush and his agenda which has gotten us into nothing but hot water.”

Natalie Harrison of Chesterville, Wisconsin said, “I don’t expect miracles from this new Congress, but maybe someone can come up with a plan for exiting Iraq. The current administration certainly doesn’t have a clue.”

However, Bush supporter Derrick Armstrong of Hubley, Colorado said, “Great! Now that Pelosi woman is going make me speak Spanish, hug a tree, get an abortion, do drugs and have sex with a guy. Thank goodness, my old pastor, Ted Haggard, showed me how to do the last two.”

Living skeleton Ann Coulter proclaims the 2006 blue wave to be nothing more than a blue trickle.

Neo-conservative pundits, like living skeleton Ann Coulter, were downplaying the November 7th election results saying “Only for half-brights with absolutely no concept of yesterday is this a ‘tsunami’ — as MSNBC calls it — rather than the death throes of a dying party.”

Day Of The Long Knives

The results from the 2018 midterm elections are still trickling in and they look very favorably for the Democrats, a lot better than main stream media outlets are proclaiming them to be. Here in Arizona, Democrat Kyrsten Sinema has been declared the winner of the Senate seat vacated by Republican Jeff Flake. If the Dems can win the Senate election in Florida (the chance of them winning the run-off election in Mississippi are slim to none), then the net Republican pickup is only one seat. Not only that, Democrats had gains in almost every Rust Belt state that went to Trump in 2016 and it’s looking like they could end up with over 230 seats in the House.

As we pointed out in our last post, Trump is rattled. He knows that with the Democrats gaining control of the House, investigations of his shadowy election maneuverings and his secretive finances will be brought to the forefront. So, in an authoritarian move reminiscent of Germany’s ‘Night of the Long Knives’ (without the bloodshed) or more recently, Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre, he fired Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.  John Dean, a veteran of those heady Watergate days, even stated that Trump’s move seems like a planned murder. Trump has replaced Sessions with a shady, sycophantic automaton, Matthew Whitaker, who has openly admitted that Robert Mueller’s investigation should be shut down. Most people inside and outside of the Justice Department proclaim Whitaker to be a ‘f*cking fool’. Trump is acting like a cornered rat, so he’s sicking his fascist meat robot to do his dirty work and eliminate Mueller before any incriminating information is released to the public.

But it looks like Mueller is close to wrapping up his investigation. Donald Trump Jr. has already indicated that he thinks he’ll probably be indicted. As the Atlantic pointed out, it’s probably too late to stop Mueller. Could this be the beginning of the end for Trumpty Dumpty? Excuse our skepticism, but we’ve been hearing that for a year and a half now. Trump is unhinged and his acolytes have shown repeatedly that they prefer party power over democracy and justice. We don’t doubt that the GOP will do anything and everything to obstruct, obfuscate and deceive the American public like they’ve been doing for the last two years…hell…the last fifty years. Buckle up, folks! Things are going to get very interesting.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

Little Man Trump

The midterms are over and the Democrats, as expected, have taken back control of the House of Representatives, which gives them a much needed check against America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s continued abuse of power. The Republicans augmented their control of the Senate though, preventing a blue tsunami. However, Democrats made some important gains that have predictably been pooh-poohed by Republicans and some of the main stream media.

Take for instance, the gubernatorial and senate races in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania: three swing states that voted for Trump in 2016. All three elected Democratic governors and senators. It appears like voters in those states appear to be admitting that Trump is a con artist and they made a mistake. To put it in perspective, if these three states had voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016, Trump wouldn’t be CEO/Dictator of America. It also means that the Democrats could very well put these states back in their column in 2020.

Also consider that 71% of the candidates that Trump supported lost their elections. So it definitely appears that many people have tired of Trump’s shenanigans and want anybody who supports him out of office.

While most agree that it wasn’t a huge swell like 2006, when Bush got “a thumpin'”, it was a good wave and it has rattled Trump and put him on the defensive. Not only did he lash out at reporters at a press conference, he pushed Attorney Confederate General, Jeff Sessions, out the door. Of course, in true Trumpian fashion, the orange haired, megalomaniac, man child blamed everyone but himself for the losses. It’s funny, when we were growing up over half a century ago, there was a saying that it takes a big man to take the blame and admit he was wrong or that he made a mistake. Once more, Trump is proving that he is a very, very, very, little man.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, nobly took the blame for the midterm election losses incurred by the Republican party. JUST KIDDING!!! He faulted everyone but himself like the truly little man he really is.

Ratcheting Up The Fear Machine To Eleven

It’s almost election day and America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is ratcheting up the fear machine to – in Spinal Tap language – eleven. With the unstoppable force that is the migrant caravan still ambling ever so slowly eight hundred miles away from the nearest American border, America’s orange haired, megalomaniac rage monster has sent 5,000 troops to the border with promises of 15,000 to defend us against a group of mostly unarmed, poor men, women and children seeking asylum from brutal governments in Central America.

We discussed previously the lunacy of the right wing coverage of the caravan on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, and the more that is revealed about this caravan, the more it just doesn’t make sense. Why would weary, dejected people filled with despair purposely walk several more hundred miles than necessary to a border where they know they’ll be harassed and treated badly when Mexico is offering everything they are looking for? Not only that, they wouldn’t have to learn a new language; they could just keep on speaking Spanish. Talk about your false flag operation. If the Republicans can duplicitously collude with Russians to sway the 2016 election, they’re capable of this piece of deception as well. Plus, Trump is a pathological liar.

We just wonder what kind of confrontation will occur between the armed to the teeth American military machine against those ‘dangerous’ migrant families.

Just in time for the midterm elections, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has ordered a gazillion troops to the border to welcome the poor, unarmed, asylum seeking migrants to America, christian style.

Just in time for the midterm elections, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has ordered a gazillion troops to the border to welcome the poor, unarmed, asylum seeking migrants to America, christian style.

Douchey Border Fearmongering

If there’s one thing Republicans know, it’s that when election time comes around, they can always ratchet up the fearmongering propaganda that there’s a border crisis that only the good ol’ GOP can resolve. They’ve been doing it during every election since 9/11. Remember in 2014, it was Ebola, Benghazi, ISIS, Obama and the border. How about 2006, ol’ Dubya and the GOP, trying to distract everyone on the clusterf*ck in Iraq, warned of an unsecured border and sent troops to secure it. They know that their core base of white christian conservatives react strongly to fear and there’s no better fear provoker than a bunch of illegal, brown skinned immigrants approaching the border. Gee, what a coincidence that a caravan of immigrants just happens to be approaching America and will make it to our border right around election time. Hmmm…let’s think like Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network… maybe the immigrants are nothing more than crisis actors being paid under the table by GOP operatives? Could this be fake news? A great big nothing burger?

This whole spiel is playing more like a Monty Python sketch. I mean the caravan is just inside the Mexico-Guatemala border, still at least 800 miles away from the nearest border in Texas, and almost twice as far to the Arizona border, but the media is covering it like this group was right at the U.S. border. Plus, they’re being portrayed by American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, like they’re a band of thugs and criminals and the media is buying into it. He’s even admitted there’s no proof of terrorists being in the throng. So here we are watching the slow motion advance of a band of unarmed, poor, desperate immigrants who are escaping violence in their home countries and meanwhile, our Republican leaders are lining up tanks at the border to mow down these ‘menaces’. There have been more people protesting Trump on any given weekend than there are people in the caravan and yet this band of walking immigrants is getting more coverage (especially Fox News) than any group of protesters. But the media keeps brainlessly repeating Trump’s narrative that there doesn’t seem to be a way to stop these marauding foreigners from making a run on our borders.

Which brings us to the racist fearmongering ads being run across the board by Republicans in Arizona. They are attacking all Democratic candidates as being weak on immigration and insinuating that candidates like gubernatorial candidate David Garcia, who are against building a wall, (like most Americans), would welcome with open arms illegal gun toting, drug taking immigrants. We’ve posted here before that illegal immigration has been dropping in recent years and since Trump has taken office, it’s down even more. A border wall is completely unnecessary. Not only that, it wouldn’t stop drugs from getting over the border. The cartels would just build more tunnels and find new routes for their drones and planes. A border wall would be a colossal waste of taxpayers’ money. Candidates like Garcia and Kyrsten Sinema want a common sense approach to securing the border and eliminating drug dealers. But leave it to the Republicans like Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), to push fearmongering border politics to try and win an election.

In a stunning display of political fearmongering, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), proclaims that his opponent, whose last name is suspiciously Garcia, will probably open up the border to all sorts of caravans carrying gun toting, drug dealing illegal immigrants.

In a stunning display of political fearmongering, Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey), proclaims that his opponent, whose last name is suspiciously Garcia, will probably open up the border to all sorts of caravans carrying gun toting, drug dealing illegal immigrants.

McSally: Another Trump Lackey

Since phony, feckless, Jeff Flake has opted out of politics for the time being, Democrats have an excellent chance to pick up a Senate seat here in usually red Arizona in the 2018 midterms. Democrat Kyrsten Sinema, who has served the 9th Congressional district since 2014, is running for Senator against Republican Martha McSally, who has served the 2nd Congressional district. So at least Arizona will have it’s first female Senator.

But as you’d expect from the modern day GOP, they are slinging mud like it’s a monster truck show. McSally has been relentless in her character assassination attack ads on local tv here, spewing forth volumes of lies and misleading claims on Sinema, forcing the Democratic candidate to play defense. Unfortunately, the ads seem to be working as Sinema’s lead since earlier this year, which was substantial, has slipped in the polls. Sinema has voted many times with Republicans over the past four years because she has to walk a political tightrope since many in her district are Republicans. But like her ads state, Sinema is truly an Independent like the majority of Arizonans are and will represent the state as it is now becoming; a purple state.

But McSally is hardly a ramrod straight as she claims to be and she seems to be adopting a Trumpian manner in attacking Sinema and the Democrats. Sure, she impressively served as a pilot in the military (we truly applaud her record of service). But she had the nerve to attack Sinema for protesting the clusterf*ck that was the Iraq War and the quagmire that still is the Afghanistan war. And she’s claiming Sinema is protecting molesters and rapists, and would leave the border unprotected, which is downright lying and dirty politics, something Republicans claim to abhor. The only thing Sinema disagrees with McSally on border security is the necessity of a wall: McSally wants Trump’s stupid wall and Sinema wisely sees that its a waste of taxpayers money that won’t solve the problem (drones, tunnels, etc…).  McSally also distanced herself from Trump after his election, but is now embracing the orange haired megalomaniac with open arms like other former moderate Trump-haters like Lindsey Graham and Susan Collins in the GOP. There is no doubt that McSally will be a rubber stamp for a man who is proudly ignorant and grossly dishonest as evidence by his recent 60 Minutes interview. If there’s anything we don’t need more of in this country, it’s Trump lackeys.

It should be very interesting here in Arizona on election day. This state may not become blue, but it could become very purple November 6th which is more indicative of what this state is: Independent.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump expresses gratitude that Martha McSally will be a good little lackey for whatever disastrous policy he wants like wars with Iran, China, Mexico and California and the complete demolishing of Social Security.

Arizona Republican candidate for Senator, Martha McSally, clarifies that she’ll be nothing more than a rubber stamp for any stupid, disastrous policy that springs forth from America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump’s addled brain.

Sham And Shame

The week is up on the sham FBI inquiry into Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford and it looks like the boozy, partisan judge will likely be confirmed given the preposterously limited scope of the investigation. There were many people who weren’t even questioned. We’re thinking that agents probably just sat around eating pizza and drinking beer; maybe even playing that popular drinking game The Devil’s Triangle.

There were several witnesses and people who claimed that Brett Kavanaugh lied under oath who were completely ignored by the probe. Why? Because this is a rush to justice by the hypocritical Republicans who can never admit they’re wrong on anything or anybody. They could easily nominate someone else who isn’t such a lightning rod, but no…that would be admitting defeat to a bunch of liberals. Kavanaugh will be a reliable cog in the conservative seizure of power in the nation.

So is this shameful Kavanaugh inquiry what we can expect from the Mueller FBI probe? Will Mueller finally come out and say ‘nothing to see here, folks’, after a year and a half of leading people on that there was malfeasance by Trump during the 2016 election? We’ve just about lost any shred of respect for supposedly venerable institutions of law, order and justice in this country. In America, there is shamefully only justice for the elite, well connected people with money, wealth and influence; namely Republicans in the vein of Brett Kavanaugh. The system is truly broken.

P.S. We recommend going to a chiropractor, Jeff Flake, since you seem to have a colossal problem with your spine. We knew your posturing for the FBI investigation was nothing but political theater. Way to stand up for women, you phony, feckless coward! We look forward to you leaving the Senate next year.

Since the scope of the FBI investigation is limited to pizza and beer by Donald Trump, agents research the drinking game Devil's Triangle.

FBI agents diligently perform research into the more intricate aspects of the Brett Kavanaugh investigation, like eating pizza and drinking beer.