Tag Archive for senator

Walker: Georgia Danger

Let’s face it, folks: the 2022 Republican candidates are bat shit insane. One of the biggest examples of this insanity is former football star Herschel Walker who is running for Senator in Georgia against Democrat Raphael Warnock. Walker has been making a lot of false claims (imagine that – just like his idol TFG). Some of his more egregious lies are: that he’s a police officer, a member of the FBI, valedictorian of his class and probably his most ridiculous – that TFG never claimed the 2020 election was stolen. Walker originally pulled out a prop honorary badge during a recent debate with Warnock and keeps doubling down on his lie insisting the badge is real.

Walker has a troubled history that includes a bout with mental illness and anger management issues. He has prevaricated on how many children he has. He even has claimed that he is pro-life even when he’s paid for a former girlfriend’s abortion and then offered to pay for a second with the same woman. So basically this man is a pathological liar which makes him a perfect candidate for today’s GOP.

Shockingly, the Georgia Senate race like all others featuring looney tunes MAGA Moron Republicans is tight. Warnock, who is a reverend for Pete’s sake, is clearly the best choice but Republicans, who are supposedly the party of moral superiority, are completely backing Walker. We’re pretty sure the FBI badge he has is probably a Federal Boob Inspector prop job which he probably uses to pick up all the women he gets.

Georgia Senate candidate and christian pillar of morality Herschel Walker whips out his FBI (Federal Boob Inspector) badge to try and impress another unsuspecting female.
Georgia Senate candidate and christian pillar of morality Herschel Walker whips out his FBI (Federal Boob Inspector) badge to try and impress another unsuspecting female.

Blake Masters’ Race

A few posts ago we commented on the newsreader who wants to be guvnah in Arizona, the woefully unqualified Trump acolyte Kari Lake. In this post, we’ll discuss the AZ GOP’s candidate for Senator, another Trump Humper named Blake Masters.

Masters is a young venture capitalist who wants to privatize everything like a good, conservative, christian capitalist. His mentor is billionaire venture capitalist Peter Thiel who’s about as right wing as they come. Masters is completely drunk on the election fraud nonsense and has stated that abortion should be banned nationally. He wants to eliminate critical race theory from being taught and blames gun violence on black people. He’s openly suggested that maybe social security should be privatized; not a wise move in a state filled with retired senior citizens. He’s anti-LGBTQ despite his buddy Thiel being a married gay man. We’d say without hesitation that Masters is a right wing, authoritarian, white nationalist fascist. He checks all the boxes and what’s more he’s very proud of it.

We’ve mentioned before about America becoming a corporate theocracy; a Holy Corporate Empire, if you will – and Blake Masters is one hundred percent on board with this kind of transformation. Corporations are authoritarian environments. Corporations are like little dictatorships. The corporation has a CEO and small board of advisers who make all the decisions for the company. If you don’t like the decision, you’re fired. Churches are authoritarian environments. The church has its leader who claims infallibility because he or she talks to God. If you don’t like what the leader has proclaimed, you are evil and one with the devil. Both institutions have very fascist tendencies – do what the leaders say or else. It’s no surprise that the Republican party is filled with these corporatist and religious zealots. They’ve been pushing since the Reagan administration to try and make the government like a corporation. The evangelicals have pretty much taken over the Republican party with their embrace of TFG and planting right wing zealots on the Supreme Court to overturn abortion. We have no doubt if given the chance, Masters would do everything possible to join church and state and corporate America together into a modern day feudal society because . . . you know . . . the Middle Ages were so enlightening and full of freedom for everyone. That’s right, you work during the day, go to church on Sunday and don’t ask questions like good little sheeple until the day you drop dead. Maybe, just maybe, our autocrat overlords will throw a pittance your way as a reward for allowing them to buy yet another car, boat or luxury property. Ahhhh! Unregulated capitalism!

Fortunately, at least for Arizona, he’s running against centrist Democrat Mark Kelly who’s about as likable as they come. Independents love him and moderate Republicans do, too. And what’s not to like; he’s an ex-Navy pilot, an engineer and he’s an ex-astronaut. Not only that, he’s done an impressive job in his two years as Senator helping get many legislative packages through Congress. And he’s voted with Republicans enough so that he’s not viewed as completely partisan.

Masters is behind in the polls and he’s desperately trying to backtrack on his abortion , election fraud and social security comments. With the DOJ’s case against TFG becoming more evident, it looks like his attraction to the crooked and traitorous Trump could sink him like a stone. Of course, there are a lot of MAGA morons here in Arizona which could make the race closer than it should be. Hopefully, there are enough competent election officials with ethics and morals who will make sure that radical right wing Republicans don’t try some kind of Trumpf*ckery to get MAGA candidates elected.

Arizona GOP Senate candidate Blake Masters states America should be a corporate theocracy, a.k.a. a Holy Corporate Empire, so that we can all make money for our capitalist masters until the day we drop dead.
Arizona GOP Senate candidate Blake Masters states America should be a corporate theocracy, a.k.a. a Holy Corporate Empire, so that we can all make money for our capitalist masters until the day we drop dead.

Let Them Eat Crudité

We take a brief detour from our coverage on Arizona’s insane GOP politicians to cover the unfortunate Senate campaign of one of Oprah’s creations, Dr. Mehmut Oz, who is running for Senator in Pennsylvania and is approved by TFG. We’ve commented before about this charlatan with a stethoscope when he famously said that children dying from COVID was acceptable during the pandemic in the summer of 2020. He’s already received tons of criticism for living in New Jersey and running in Pennsylvania. He’s also backed some sketchy health care solutions as well using his fame to push said products. But the bad doctor really stepped in some dog doo recently.

Well, Dr. Ooooze has been trying to convince people that he is an ‘everyman’ instead of a rich, spoiled hoidy-toid. First of all, he told people in an interview that he had only two houses to sound like a normal middle class American because doesn’t every American have two houses. LIE! LIE! LIE! LIE! LIE! He has at least ten properties, which certainly places him in an elitist category. One house is 9,000 square feet and another is 7,000 square feet! Who needs that much?! A greedy, materialistic, corporatist quack, that’s who. Next, Dr. Ooooze goes grocery shopping to complain about high prices and starts asking around for the crudité. Now we here at the Bucket didn’t know what the hell crudité was. Fortunately, Dr. Ooooze’s opponent Democrat John Fetterman trolled him royally by presenting a veggie tray. That’s right, folks. Crudité is just a fancy veggie tray. So much for the bad doctor being a regular guy. Like we’ve said before, Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil are Oprah’s two biggest mistakes. Hopefully, Pennsylvanians will realize what a huckster and clown Ooooze is and send him packing back to his real home in New Jersey or one of his other nine properties.

Overrated doctor and clown politician Dr. Mehmet Oz recently tried to show everyone what a regular guy he was by shopping for some crudité at his local grocers, while maybe adding some foie gras, pinot noir and Grey Poupon, of course.
Overrated doctor and clown politician Dr. Mehmet Oz recently tried to show everyone what a regular guy he was by shopping for some crudité at his local grocers, while maybe adding some foie gras, pinot noir and Grey Poupon, of course.

Coal Munchin’ Manchin

There’s tons of important events occurring right now in the world: the continuing war in Ukraine, the Jan. 6th hearings, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and the record heat waves covering most of the northern hemisphere that are clearly related to climate change. Segue to DINO West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin who has singlehandedly held up Democrat legislation and the Build Back Better program numerous times now during Joe Biden’s presidency. His latest monkey wrench is his opposition to a bill that would help create regulations that might alleviate the drastic effects of climate change that we’re currently seeing. At least federal environmental agency staffers and members of Congress have had enough and urged Biden and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Shumer to strip Manchin of his chairmanship of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee.

The problem is Joe Manchin, like every Republican lawmaker, is bought and paid for by the fossil fuel industry. He serves as nothing more than a self-serving lackey for coal, gas and oil interests. It’s true that West Virginia is a coal mining state, but burning coal is one of the primary reasons for climate change and must be eliminated. Not only that, mountaintop strip mining leaves the environment in a devastated condition. Manchin and Arizona’s own sassy grrrl Senator Kyrsten Sinema, continue to be enamored with the filibuster (or Phil E. Buster as we joked), and their persistence in upholding this ugly, unsightly tradition may not only lead to the fall of democracy but in the complete destruction of this planet which, by the way, is the only place we know of that supports life. There is no planet B, folks! We all need to conserve energy and curb our consumption and consumerism. There is no other option!

Executives in the coal, gas and oil industries are relieved that they've got such a solid lackey like Joe Manchin in Congress who puts profits before the health of the planet and its inhabitants.
Executives in the coal, gas and oil industries are relieved that they’ve got such a solid lackey like Joe Manchin in Congress who puts profits before the health of the planet and its inhabitants.

The New Texas Elementary School/Prison

The radical right wing conservative christian Republicans are in full crazy mode and they are showing it all over the place. The heavily christian Supreme Court ruled to take away abortion rights for women last week. This week they said prayer in a public school is a-okay and the football coach at a public high school who led his team in a prayer on the field was wrongfully fired. We wonder if this christian nationalist zealots would feel the same way if the coach was Muslim or Hindu or Jewish.

But the state of Texas is leading the way in crazy. Recently, not only did they support the Big Lie that Joe Biden didn’t win the election but they also passed resolution in their state legislature that paves the way for Texas to secede from the United States. We mentioned before how we would love to see that happen; a Texit if you will. We’d help them pack. Amongst the other crazy things they mentioned in the official Republican platform were: labeling homosexuality as an abnormal lifestyle; make it easier to get a gun; restrict voting rights; ignore and accelerate climate change; ban all abortions from the moment of fertilization (super crazy); preserve confederate monuments and repealing hate crime laws because … you know … the Republican hate everything and everybody, which isn’t very christian.

Texas’ senators John Cornyn and Ted Cruz are also showing their true nature as assholes. Cornyn recently sent a completely uncompassionate tweet about overturning Brown v. Board of Education which paved the way for desegregation. And of course, Ted Cruz, the Senator everybody hates, said after the Uvalde school shooting that what we really need is to have just one entrance and exit to a school. It’s not the guns – it’s the doors! Wow! What an idiot!!! Not only would that be a fire hazard, but it turns our educational system into a prison system. But we’re guessing the heartless GOP would be fine with that. Just send the little urchins to school but be sure to protect the things of real value; their precious guns. Oh and fetuses, too. Once the fetus is born, screw it. All we have to say to Texas is: Please secede! And take Oklahoma, Arkansas and the other ass backward southern states with you. We promise we won’t fight a war to keep you with us this time. Goodbye and good riddance, you stupid sanctimonious, holier-than-thou assholes!

The future inmates of Texas' educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.
The future inmates of Texas’ educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.

Thoughts And Prayers Aren’t Working

Another day, another mass shooting. Ahhhh, America! Memorial Day weekend was celebrated with eleven mass shootings. We’ve commented about the ineptitude of our lawmakers in relation to common sense gun laws numerous times before here over the years. And the cowardly corporate lackeys who call themselves Senators and Representatives are once again trotting out the empty platitudes of ‘thoughts and prayers’ after the deadly Uvalde school shooting last week and the horrendous massacre at supermarket in Buffalo on May 14th. Will these shootings be the ones that will get some gun control legislation passed? Sorry to be pessimistic, but no. This nation has a colossal problem and that is the love of guns is institutionalized in every aspect of our life; media, movies, culture and economy. Our politicians are nothing more than corporate lackeys for weapons industry and the NRA. The term ‘gun fetish’ is very appropriate. We’ve got people in this country who love guns more than life itself. And many of these people are the same ones who state that they are pro-life. The truth is that there are many people in this country who’ve never owned or shot a firearm and are living very happy, healthy, productive lives.

We’re repeating our photo-toon from our February 14, 2020 post. Once more, we say that if you love your guns more than life itself than do not call yourself pro-life. Guns exist to kill, not give life. So, go home and f*ck your guns, you hypocritic assholes.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!
Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!

Rotten Cotton On Wimmin Folk

We’re still kind of in our malaise here at the Bucket but can you blame us. Geez, look at all the crap that’s happening right now: Russia’s war against Ukraine, the coronavirus’ war against all humans, the Republicans war against democracy and . . . drum roll please . . . the Republicans war against women.

Thanks to a leak, the Supreme Court is poised to overthrow a woman’s autonomy over her own body despite an overwhelming majority of people in America supporting a woman’s right to choose, especially in cases of rape and incest. Regressive states like Texas and Oklahoma have already passed laws prohibiting abortion after six weeks which basically is forcing a woman to give birth no matter what. Enter 2024 presidential hopeful Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, who is trying to present himself as heir apparent to TFG. Well, Mr. Cotton want’s to imprison any one who protests the anti-choice decision in true authoritarian fashion.

We’ve commented before about Cotton. He has the charisma of a wet diaper but he is way smarter than TFG. Would he stand a chance in 2024? We’ve seen that the Republican base will support even a jackass like TFG, so yes he would. Democrats should be wary of this Cletus Spuckler doppelganger because he would be just as ruthless as Trump and he has the intelligence to turn the United States into fascist nation or the Holy Corporate Empire.

Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson's yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin' up vittles.
Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson’s yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin’ up vittles.

The New GOP Pinhead Clown

The fallout from the January 6th Capitol riots is still taking place as more and more citizen rioters have been rounded up. The QAnon shaman guy even did a TV interview and the guy who put his feet up in Nancy Pelosi’s office, whose nickname is ‘Bigo’, is complaining that he’s getting unfair treatment. Oh, boo hoo! That’s called punishment for trying to take over the government. It’s the law and order that conservative Republicans declare they want; you know, break the law – go to jail.

But that ‘Bigo’ guy does have a point. Why have none of his co-conspirators in Congress been brought to justice yet? The Republicans in the House and Senate voted to let Trump off the hook. Are the Democrats are willing to let Republicans like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Tommy Tuberville off the hook, too? It’s true federal investigators have started examining communique between the rioters and U.S. lawmakers. But despite overwhelming video and audio evidence, nothing has been done yet. Hawley is especially appalling since he gave the rioters a big fist up on that January 6th morning, which caused one of his earliest supporters to regret his decision. But what is it about this Senator that makes him so annoying?

Well, it appears that Hawley wants to be the new Trump and is trying to position himself so he can win over Trump’s supporters for a possible Presidential bid in 2024. On January 6th, Hawley, Ted Cruz and Tommy Tuberville opening questioned the legitimacy of the 2020 election right before the riots occurred thus fanning the flames for the insurrectionists. As a result, his favorability has plummeted and he is viewed as a pariah. Sidenote: It’s funny that Republicans are crying now that Democrats need to show unity in the Senate when all the Republicans had to do to promote unity was accept the election results. The hypocrisy runs deep with the GOP.

Now that Merrick Garland has been confirmed he has promised that investigation into the Capitol riot will be given top priority. So maybe, just maybe, justice will be coming soon for the instigators like the new, GOP pinhead traitor clown Josh Hawley. We think treason would be an appropriate charge for this up and coming Republican doofus.

There's a new pinhead in the GOP circus named Josh Hawley and he's the Trumpiest clown of them all.
There’s a new pinhead in the GOP circus named Josh Hawley and he’s the Trumpiest clown of them all.

So Much Vice, GOP Acquits Twice

The second impeachment trial of America’s former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has concluded and to no one’s surprise, he was acquitted, despite a 57-43 vote of guilty. Seven GOP Senators voted for rule of law over party joining all fifty Democrats in saying that Trump incited the riots on January 6th because . . . of course he did. We all saw it on tape!

What’s especially galling is the statement from minority leader Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell made after the vote, which takes the cake for unethical hypocrisy. He basically said that Trump was guilty of provoking the insurrection and should be held accountable. And how do we do that? You impeach the bastard! But no, no, no… Turtle Boy voted to acquit. So, in a nutshell, Trump and the Republicans got away with their malfeasance like they’ve done for the last four years. There was one time Trump told the truth in his whole time as leader of the GOP and that was when he stated he could shoot somebody on 5th Ave and still not lose any supporters. He just incited an insurrection on the Capitol of the United States of America and five people died and several more were injured . . . and he got away with it without losing supporters. And the supposed party of moral responsibility allowed him to do so. If there was any doubt that the GOP is an unethical, immoral, corrupt, crime syndicate of greedy hooligans and grifters before the trial, then all skepticism should be obliterated by this decision. They openly support authoritarian fascist actions to overthrow democracy and install permanent Republican rule.

Speaking of immoral grifters, one of our least favorite humans on the planet passed away, Boss Limhogg himself, Rush Limbaugh. We posted a photo-toon last year that pretty much sums up our feelings about that obnoxious, racist, sexist tub of goo. In short: Rot in hell, El Rushblo!

Oozing with incandescent charisma, Moscow Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell bravely acquits former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump of responsibility for inciting the Capitol riots despite proclaiming that he was guilty as hell.
Oozing with incandescent charisma, Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell bravely acquits former CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump of responsibility for inciting the Capitol riots despite proclaiming that he was guilty as hell.

Senator Mark Kelly

While the nation waits with baited breath for the final votes for President of the United States to be tallied, there is one race that became official about which we couldn’t be happier.

Former astronaut and naval pilot, Democrat Mark Kelly defeated incumbent Republican Martha McSally for Senator. This gives Arizona two Democratic Senators now, thus turning the state blue on the national level, (Arizona Democrats already are pretty much guaranteed of keeping five of nine congressional seats). We’ve lived here a long time and we never thought we’d see this event. The last time it happened was 1952.

Congratulations to Mark Kelly! We have no doubt you’ll be as successful in this endeavor as you were as an astronaut, engineer, pilot and author.

Congratulations to engineer, naval pilot, astronaut, author and now Democratic Senator from Arizona, Mark Kelly.
Congratulations to engineer, naval pilot, astronaut, author and now Democratic Senator from Arizona, Mark Kelly.