Archive for Chief Oompa Loompa

Boehner’s Holy Revelation

There was some huge news this past week and we here at the Bucket are suffering from a massive case of Schadenfreude. Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has announced that he is resigning effective the end of the month. Of course, Boehner milked the moment for every thing it was worth in true christian martyr fashion, proclaiming by stepping down he is saving congress. However, we believe that Papa Francisco’s visit had a lot to do with the Orange Man’s departure. Boehner, a life long Catholic, was very moved by the pope’s visit. We think that while listening to his speech and looking out at the ‘christian’ Republicans sitting in the Senate and House, Boehner had a gobsmack revelation when he realized what astounding, hypocritical assholes he and his colleagues were in comparison with the pope.

Boehner provided a lot of laughs for us here at the Bucket over the years but we’re sure that his nut job replacement as Speaker will soon be providing comedic gold for satirists everywhere. We say good riddance to the Chief Oompa Loompa with one more photo-toon for the road.

Pope Francis' visit to Congress opened Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner's eyes and helped him realize what a colossal asshole he has been.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner, bids farewell to Congress after realizing what a colossal asshole he has been.

 

Bibi’s Boner …Or Boner’s Bibi

The big news of the last week is that Israel Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu gave a speech to Congress. It’s not rare that foreign dignitaries address Congress. But what is rare is when leaders of the opposition party, in this case the Republicans, arrange for it without the President’s knowledge. Yes, Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), secretly arranged for Netanyahu to come speak to Congress to push for opposition of President Obama’s upcoming nuclear agreement with Iran. In some circles, the covert negotiation of a foreign leader or government by an unauthorized citizen is known as treason. As Jon Stewart pointed out in his always hilarious analysis, if the Democrats had invited the President of France behind George W. Bush’s back in the lead up to the Iraq War, the Republicans would have been screaming bloody murder. Despite this treasonous act by Boehner and the other Republicans in Congress, President Obama calmly and effectively explained afterward why he thinks Netanyahu, who, like Republicans, has been beating the war drum consistently for a quarter of a century, is wrong. One can only describe this move by the Republicans as colossally dickish, but what else is new.

New United States President, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu suggests a war with Iran as successful as the Iraq War as treasonist John Boehner approves.

The Republican’s newly anointed President, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, proclaims his intentions for war with Iran with giddy approval from Treasonist of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner.

GOP Insanity Plea

Just when you thought the Republicans couldn’t get any more irrational… Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has decided to sue President Obama for doing his job. According to the increasingly mentally unbalanced Republicans who control the House of Representatives, they see President Obama’s perfectly by the book executive orders as overreach of his authority. This despite the fact that President Obama has far fewer executive orders than any of his predecessors. We like that President Obama has finally given up trying to be the Compromiser-in-Chief and that he has said that he is doing his job because Congress is not doing theirs. Booom! There it is!  But the House GOP may have taken the final step for placement into the loony bin when they demanded action from Obama on the influx of immigrants into the southwestern USA after suing him for taking too much action. Talk about wasting taxpayers money! So let’s get this straight: Obama is damned for taking action and he’s damned for not taking action. Yep! Get the straight jackets ready. Boehner and Co. are officially lip-diddling insane.

Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, explains that President Obama is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, dressed in his stylish new straightjacket, explains why people need to vote the Republicans out of Congress this November.

Holding The Nation Hostage

Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, reveals the GOP’s patriotic plan to save America from the horrors of Obamacare.

 

An Oompa Loompa Christmas

Well, Congress has adjourned for the holidays and surprise surprise, no progress on the looming ‘fiscal cliff’. Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), who seems to be under the illusion that the Republicans won the election, has stubbornly insisted that he gets his way. That means keeping his precious tax cuts for his rich handlers and cutting funds for the social safety net programs like Social Security and Medicare, which benefits most elderly Americans. Of course, most people seem to think this ‘fiscal cliff’ is baloney anyway (note how it’s always referenced in quotations) and to President Obama’s credit, he’s playing hardball with the Republicans (finally!). It’s not the first time that the great Oompa Loompa of negativity, John Boehner, has bungled up negotiations. It’s business as usual for the Republicans.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, offers Americans his prescription for avoiding the ‘fiscal cliff’.

 

 

Rep. Oompa Loompa

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, following the debacle of the debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week, addressed the American people late last night with a message of hope …for corporate America.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner tells the American people the GOP’s economic plan for America.