Archive for Teabagging **it

Rootin’ Tootin’ Trump

The Trump hush money payment to Stormy Daniels trial is entering its gazillionth week and there has much commentary about the orange megalomaniac man child’s flatulence. Yes, the twice impeached Putin fan boy is blowing vile gas from both his mouth and his anus. That’s talent, folks! From all accounts, it’s like the stockyards in the courtroom and Trump’s lawyers may be sporting gas masks soon.

Which reminds up of our post from July 25, 2020 during the heart of the pandemic and Con-a-thon 2020. It was then that Trumpty Dumpty and his darling daughter Ivanka became embroiled in a ethical conundrum by endorsing Goya beans while in the White House. That’s a no-no, but then again Donald Trump does what ever he wants, which is why he has four trials with a grand total of 88 criminal counts. We speculated at the time that maybe Trump was going to launch another failed business venture called Trump Beans. Maybe that’s why he’s been giving ten toot salutes in the courtroom: he’s just full o’ beans.

From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of 'em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy's favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat 'em. What have you got to lose.
From the fine people who brought you Trump Vodka, Trump Air, Trump Water and Trump University comes their next doomed endeavor, the ultimate in designer beans, Trump Beans. Because when it comes to beans, Trump is full of ’em. Trump Beans is the winner of the coveted Ten Toot Salute award created by Donald Trump for excellence in bean stuff. Like Ivanka sez, jump start your farts with her Daddy’s favorite, Trump Beans. Rumors that these beans cause explosive flatulence and chronic diarrhea are a hoax. Go ahead and eat ’em. What have you got to lose.

Rewind: Planet Earth’s Epitaph

Earth Day was celebrated last week on April 22 and things are still not looking good for our planet. Meteorologists are predicting another summer of scorching temperatures and the hurricane season will be busier than usual. We’ve already had a deadly tornado outbreak in the Midwest and it’s not even May yet.

We published a post back on September 25, 2019 which summarizes very well (at least we think so) what we need to do if we’re to save our wonderful planet from further destruction. Rather than republish the complete post, we’ll just repeat the main points of the piece.

So who’s to blame for our planet’s destruction? The inconvenient truth is that all humans are responsible. It’s the collective, monstrous egos of our planet’s most intelligent (allegedly) species, homo sapiens, that have done the most damage. When you put it in that context, each and every human being on the planet is responsible for the demise of life on Earth. We are all to blame and if we’re to rectify the problem, we need to all get on the same page. We all need a giant philosophical paradigm shift and that starts with the realization that unregulated capitalism is killing the planet and all the life on it.

But how and why did having money become the most important thing in our world? Because we’re humans, goddamn it! We’re superior creatures! What are we humans supposed to do with our time? Go hiking in the wilderness, relax and enjoy life? Boring!!! We must grow, grow, grow! Bigger, bigger, bigger! We’re taught from day one that we must utilize our superior brains every second of the day or else we’re failures. We can’t just sit around doing nothing. Or can we? If you ask any sane person what their idea of paradise is, they’ll usually respond some idyllic tropical island like Tahiti or some mountain retreat with little to no development and lots of nature or some small remote village where people live simply. So, why are we constantly destroying nature (we’ve killed off 60 percent of animal species since 1970) and building ugly concrete and steel structures and athletic stadiums which only last for twenty years? Because we can; as a monument to human ingenuity and greed.

But just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should. Would it really be so bad to just not build a new multiplex shopping center? Would it be so bad to adopt a simpler lifestyle and enjoy nature and the great outdoors? Would it be so bad to tear down some of our ubiquitous, ugly strip malls and skyscrapers and plant urban forests and farms? Plant an urban garden where that stupid parking lot is. Have a nature reserve where that stupid golf course is. If we combine this with a global effort of birth control and contraception, we can get things under control again. We need fewer humans, not more humans on this planet. Humans, especially ones from industrial, consumptive nations are at the forefront of environmental devastation. We’ve created so much waste that we’re exporting it to third world countries with poor waste management systems. If third world countries become like first world countries, then our planet is truly doomed and we can all kiss our materialistic asses goodbye. We need to dial our greed back from 11. We need to curb our consumption and learn to be content with fewer material possessions and simpler lifestyles. This is the only planet we know of that supports life. We need to put the welfare of our planet before our own wealth, because without the planet, how can we enjoy the wealth? We need to stop worshipping the greedy, egotistical and avaricious and start respecting and caring for nature and our environment. Those paradises we yearn for are right under our feet; we just don’t recognize them because of all the concrete, asphalt and steel.

In an attempt to demonstrate how superior they are, humans are proving to be far more destructive to planet Earth than any asteroid.
In an attempt to demonstrate how superior they are, humans are proving to be far more destructive to planet Earth than any asteroid.

AI Trump Grifts The Homeless

Artificial Intelligence or AI has become a huge buzzword in the past ten years and rightfully so. We’re old enough here at the Bucket to remember back in the ’80s when AI first came into the national consciousness and the media overreacted as they usually do and predicted the end of civilization. Stephen Hawking even warned about it, but then again he’s predicted a race of superhumans and possibly aliens taking over earth. Well, AI has finally arrived and it may very well be as dangerous as everyone predicted it would.

AI deepfake videos have become prevalent in the last five years and the results are astounding. Not only are they of good quality, they can actually fool people into believing what they are seeing is real and not fake. Jimmy Kimmel is well known for having deepfake videos on his show, especially featuring TFG, but he promotes them as such. There are other shows and websites that announce that the videos or images are faked and not to be taken seriously. Jabari Jones YouTube site is a good example. But it becomes incredibly dangerous especially when you consider all the malicious agents around the world, like Vladimir Putin, who would like nothing more than a video surfacing where Joe Biden, Barack Obama or other prominent Democrats say disparaging remarks about certain Americans or other countries.

There are also AI image generator sites like img2go where you can create realistic looking images for free. We tried it out and made our photo-toon for today with the prompt ‘homeless Donald Trump begging for money’. The result was surprisingly good. We’ve obviously photo-shopped some items, but the look on the homeless man’s face is authentic (authentic for a fake image, that is ). We couldn’t have come up with a better reaction to Trump’s grifting. We people who despise the orange, megalomaniac man child have had that ‘just shoot me’ look for the past nine years. We just may use AI more in our photo-toons in the future.

AI Donald Trump, who is also a twice impeached megalomaniac man child, runs his latest grift; hawking bibles and sob stories to the homeless because, you know, they're not suffering enough.
AI Donald Trump, who is also a twice impeached megalomaniac man child, runs his latest grift; hawking bibles and sob stories to the homeless because, you know, they’re not suffering enough.

The Sheeple Still Bleat

Back in our September 6, 2018 post, we addressed the perplexing phenomenon of christians supporting Donald Trump, a man who is basically different from Jesus in every way, shape and form. We think it’s one of our better posts (click on the link above and read it) and perfectly summarizes why christians seem to follow authoritarians. Since then, Trump has only gotten worse and the MAGA Morons have officially obtained cult status with many loony tunes preachers actually stating they think TFG is the chosen one. Of course, ever the bombastic, narcissistic con man, Trump encourages them. He’s even hawking bibles for $60 a pop.

We’re going to just repeat most of that post with some changed links here because nothing has changed. Why are MAGA Morons worshipping Trump as their new Lord and Savior? Well, you can thank their teachers, pastors, priests and leaders for brainwashing them from day one to believe everything they say and that anybody who says otherwise is an agent of Satan. We’re atheists here at the Bucket, but we do abide by the golden rule, which pre-dates christianity. We were brought up in an religious environment, so we know from whence we speak. The organized christian religions are very authoritarian in nature; just look at the catholic church. The pope is considered to be infallible. That means he is never wrong and if you even suggest that he could be wrong, then you will face the consequences of excommunication or damnation in that mythical place of pain and suffering, hell. Dex Rexter, BilgeBucket editor, remembers very well the nuns searing into his young, malleable catholic brain to never, never, NEVER be a doubting Thomas or Jesus will be very upset with you and cast you into the pit of hell for all eternity. Fear is used as a weapon from day one on people in organized religious environments and used quite effectively. Just look at the art work of Hieronymous Bosch from the fifteenth century. Do what the preacher says and you’ll get to go to heaven; disobey and go to hell and get poked by demons with pitchforks. Of course, in reality, heaven and hell don’t exist. But this use of fear by religious authoritarians is the same methodology employers in corporate America get their employees to do whatever they want. They dangle that golden carrot telling their subordinates that if they work extra hard they’ll be rewarded with riches beyond their dreams, knowing full well that when the employee inevitably burns out or outlives their usefulness, they’ll be fired. Just ask the employees of Enron, Carrier or any of the other shit load of companies who’ve screwed their employees and consumers to augment the coffers of the top executives.

Another thing that is astonishingly aggravating is that many christians are anti-science and actually call critical thinking, logical and rational people who accept the truth of such things as climate change or evolution, sheeple. Really!? How ironic! Christians are the original sheeple! It’s even built into the dogma. Every christian is forced to pray the mantra “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” or think for that matter. The metaphor of Jesus as the shepherd and everyone else as the sheep is everywhere in the christian faith. That is why the congregation must do what the pastor, priest or minister tells them to do, like vote for Trump, because the self acclaimed holy men are tighter with God than the average commoner. That’s how these prosperity gospel charlatans get away with their crap and the people’s money for materialistic wealth that Jesus taught against.

Make no mistake; the Republicans have exactly who they want in the Oval Office, that is why they are sitting on their keisters why all chaos descends on the this country. Trump is the ultimate CEO; the exemplary authoritarian who barks out orders and condemns those who dissent. We ask the christian sheeple to wake up and realize that this wolf in sheep’s clothing, this golden calf, is nothing like Jesus, who preached the golden rule, to have tolerance and respect for others even if they were different and to eschew greed and materialistic wealth and to take care each other.

From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.
From Jesus to Donald Trump, christians unquestionably follow their authoritarian leaders like the good sheeple they are.

Butt-Head Gaetz

We’ve been wanting to do a Separated At Birth photo-toon on Matt Gaetz for some time because he is such a moron and symbolic of how far the Republicans have fallen as a party. His blunders are numerous since he’s arrived on the political scene and it’s unbelievable that people in Florida keep him in Congress but heh . . . Florida, right? Go figure.

Gaetz’ biggest controversy is his alleged relation with a 17 year old girl and pair for her travel which could have been a violation of sex trafficking laws. The DOJ decided not to pursue prosecution against Gaetz but the jokes about his proclivities continue amongst late night talk show hosts and others, like this stunt during a New Hampshire Trump campaign event when a troll asked him if he’d be interested in a bag full of underage girls. Then during a Republican event in Ohio he was presented with an “underage sex award.”

Then there’s the MAGAness of Gaetz and his removal of Speaker Kevin McCarthy last year. Even conservative stooge Newt Gingrich recently said Gaetz “unleashed the demons” with his McCarthy ouster and now the GOP is the party of dysfunctional government and runs a real risk of losing the majority because Republican congressmen keep quitting before the end of their terms. Could this mean that Republicans lose control of the House this fall? We certainly hope so.

We’ve always thought Gaetz bears a striking resemblance to ’90s cartoon idiot Butt-Head especially with his alleged attraction to teenage girls and his party boy persona. We have no problem seeing Gaetz sitting on a couch with Beavis chuckling incessantly while ogling high school chicks on MTV.

Florida Republican Congressman and all-around pain in the ass Matt Gaetz bears a striking resemblance to '90s cartoon idiot Butt-Head and even allegedly shares his attraction to hot teenage chicks.
Florida Republican Congressman and all-around pain in the ass Matt Gaetz bears a striking resemblance to ’90s cartoon idiot Butt-Head and even allegedly shares his attraction to hot teenage chicks.

Pepe Trump Still Croaking Fake News

Way back on July 7, 2017, during TFG’s first term, we posted a photo-toon highlighting the twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator’s war on truth. Trump openly called everything the press reported as ‘fake news’ unless of course it was complimentary. Back then, the QAnon weirdos and MAGA Morons were just coming out of the woodwork and these specimens mostly watched Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. Now the number of conservative media outlets have multiplied and more and more of the sheeple in the MAGA movement ignore any information unless it comes from the mouth of the orange skinned megalomaniac man child.

Like we said back in 2017, Trump’s war on the media is insidious and incredibly dangerous for a free society. Freedom of the press is one of the cornerstones of our democracy. But Trump has made no secret that he wants to be a dictator like his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. And with that desire comes the flak generator of conservative media outlets and unregulated social media sites like Twitter and Facebook spreading lies, misinformation and propaganda so successfully, it’s become a full time job for an average citizen just to determine the truth. So what is the truth? According to Trump, it’s anything he says it is.

Here’s a repost of our photo-toon from July 7, 2017. We think the flabby green ‘Pepe’ (instead of orange) skin on his saggy ass jowls are pretty appropriate for this croaking bag of goo.

When you want fake news, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!
When you want fake news, who you gonna call? PEPE TRUMP!!!

Dark Brandon Delivers

Last week President Joe Biden delivered the State of the Union address in dramatic fashion. The entirety of the corporate media establishment in lock step with the Republican party had been painting Biden as a dim-witted, feeble old man incapable of anything but drooling. Instead, Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered one of the best SOTU speeches in recent memory and dispelled any notion that he was too old for the job.

It’s not surprising that Biden nailed it. He’s still a strong, capable leader with fifty years of vital, important, EXPERIENCE in all phases of government. This week, special counsel Robert Hur’s damning statement in his investigation of Biden’s secret documentation case about the President having a poor memory was found to the be contradicted by his own testimony saying Biden had “photographic understanding and recall of the house”, a tidbit the Republican left out of his final statement. It just shows that Republicans are coordinated in their efforts to bring any kind of damage they can to Biden, despite the fact that he has done a great job in his first term as President. We’ll take Biden’s 81 years of EXPERIENCE to TFG’s 91 felony counts any day!

Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.
Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.

The Simmering Trumputin Bromance

Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump has made no secret of how much he admires Russian strongman Vladimir Putin. We’ve certainly created many photo-toons mocking their weird bromance over the past eight years (good grief! has it been that long?), like this one from 2016.

Recently former Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was talking about Trump’s obsession with Putin and how ‘creepy’ it was. He also pointed out how other world leaders noted it and how disturbing it was. This is after Trump said at one of his Nuremburg rallies that he’d bully NATO allies to pay up or he’d let his pal Vlad invade their country, thus completely ignoring the whole purpose of the alliance. That’s right, folks. Trump is on board with one of the world’s most ruthless dictators and he wants to turn America into the dysfunctional oligarchy that is Russia. He’s also met with Hungarian autocrat Victor Orban at Mar-a-largo. The writing is on the wall: if Trump obtains power again, America will be an authoritarian dictatorship and we can kiss our basic democratic freedoms goodbye.

We’re sure the following photo-toon is Trump’s fantasy outing with his man crush, Vlad. If only we could make this possible.

Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump was recently seen gallivanting around in his gold sneakers with his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on the vast Russian steppes.
Twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and future convict Donald Trump was recently seen gallivanting around in his gold sneakers with his man crush Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on the vast Russian steppes.

Wake Up America! (Part ∞)

Recently, twice impeached former American CEO/Dictator and megalomaniac man child Donald Trump, who is dealing with 91 felony charges against him said something really disturbing. (As if everything from 2015 to present day hasn’t been, amirite?) TFG said at one of his suckfests that he would encourage Russia to invade any of our NATO allies who didn’t pay their bills. That’s right, folks: Trump openly and proudly aligned himself with the ruthless dictator Vladimir Putin and his corrupt autocratic oligarchy. Europe and especially Ukraine needs the United States support now more than ever. They don’t need one of the main candidates for President sucking up to a cold-blooded despot like Putin.

This isn’t the first time he’s flagrantly kissed Putin’s ass on the world stage. Who can forget his meeting with Putin in summer 2018 at Helsinki, where he groveled in front of him looking like he was Putin’s bitch. He has fawned repeatedly over his idol and even stated he trusts Putin more than our FBI. He’s even called for Putin to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails back during the 2016 election.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from August 10, 2018 because it illustrates perfectly the hypocrisy and buffoonery of today’s Republican party. How the hell is Donald Trump still the GOP’s candidate for President when if any of his predecessors would done what he did they would have been rightfully condemned for their actions? Wake up America!!! The orange fraud has performed all three of these actions! He should not only be barred from running from President, he should be deported to Russia so he can live in eternal bliss with his man crush, Vladimir Putin!

Can you imagine the outrage if Eisenhower said he trusted the KGB more than the CIA or if Reagan fawned over a 'strong and powerful' Gorbachev or if Obama received help wining his elections from Putin.
Modern day Republicans conveniently look away from Trump’s outrageous actions that would have gotten previous presidents universal condemnation.

Trump Is A Fraud!

Well the verdict is in and America’s twice impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, a.k.a TFG, has been found guilty of fraud in New York and fined $354 million dollars. The pre-judgement interest number boosts the amount to almost $450 million dollars or $450,000,000. That’s a lotta dough, folks! Then there’s the $83 million he has to cough up for the E. Jean Carroll defamation suit. Could it be that the orange skinned megalomaniac man child is finally facing some accountability? It sure looks like it. All we have to say is thank you E. Jean Carroll, Letitia James and the state of New York. You’ve taken Trump’s BS for many years and now you’ve finally got him. We can safely and accurately call Trump for what he is and always has been: a FRAUD! All the Republicans who still support this man are colossally stupid fools and we have no sympathy for you.

For our photo-toon today we went over to the Obama poster generator and made an image befitting of America’s biggest con man and crook. Choke on it, MAGA Morons!

Donald Trump is a fraud!
Donald Trump is a fraud!