Archive for Teabagging **it

Rewind: Journalism’s Manly Man

Here’s the last entry in our brief retrospective of journalism’s clown prince and go-to Donald Trump interviewer and ass kisser, Tucker Carlson. His latest hard hitting question of Donald Trump: “What do you do at the end of the day? What do you read? What do you watch?” Wow! What gutsy journalism! The funny thing is that Trump answered that he loves to read but doesn’t read much any more. And the books Trump recommends everybody reads? Why they’re about Donald Trump, of course.

But we’d like to remind everyone of one of Carlson’s more stunningly stupid comments way back in 2007. On his MSNBC show, Carlson stated that then presidential candidate Barack Obama, “seemed like kind of a wuss.” This coming from a man who regularly wore a bow tie and dressed like Steve Urkel until about 2006. Yes America; Tucker Carlson is not only journalism’s clown prince, but he’s also journalism’s manly man. For a partial list of Obama’s accomplishment’s see this post. One noteworthy item on the list: he eliminated the world’s #1 terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Not bad for a ‘wuss’, eh Carlson.

This photo-toon is from our July 19, 2007 issue.

MSNBC talk show host and manly man, Tucker Carlson, recently stated that Barack Obama "seems like kind of a wuss." This from the man, who until recently dressed like Steve Urkel.

MSNBC talk show host and manly man tough guy, Tucker Carlson, recently stated that Barack Obama “seems like kind of a wuss.” This from the man, who until recently dressed like Steve Urkel.

Rewind: Journalism’s Clown Prince

One unfortunate consequence of Donald Trump becoming CEO/Dictator of America, is that the conservative ‘journalists’ are scurrying out from the sewer drains to fill up slots in the corporate news media in the Republican’s divide and conquer strategy of establishing dominance in all aspects of the media spectrum. So who does Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network call on to take Megyn Kelly’s slot (she’s spreading conservative ideology over at NBC now)? Why none other than that former bow tie wearing, smart ass, frat boy, Tucker Carlson.

We thought that Carlson was going to be banished to the Daily Caller hinterlands thanks to the Obama administration. But noooooooo. He’s been drinking the Trump kool-aid and lo and behold, he’s suddenly back at Fox News as the chief ball tickler for Donald Trump. When they need a ‘tough looking’ interview that’s really just a firm kiss to Trump’s ass, they call on journalism’s clown prince. Jack Shafer has a decent analysis of this so called journalist and how to make sure he fails again. And who can forget Jon Stewart’s epic slam of Carlson on Crossfire back in 2004.

This photo-toon is from our May 16, 2006 issue.

Conservative talk show host and clown prince of journalism, Tucker Carlson, ditched his nerdy looking bow tie and started wearing attire that more closely reflects his journalistic skills.

Conservative talk show host, Tucker Carlson, ditched his nerdy looking bow tie and started wearing attire that more closely reflects his journalistic skills.

GOP’s Compassionate Christian Healthcare Plan

The Republicans have released their healthcare plan that will replace the Affordable Healthcare Act (Obamacare) and surprise, surprise, it sucks. There’s plenty to hate about this plan called the American Health Care Act(AHCA or Trumpcare); so much so that the American Medical Association, American Hospital Association, American Nurses Association and AARP (among numerous others) have all come out against it. John Oliver did a brilliant and humorous analysis on the plan Sunday night.

So where millions obtained affordable healthcare under Obamacare, it is estimated by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) that 24 million will lose access under Trumpcare and would have devastating consequences for the old and poor. Not only that, the wealthiest Americans would get enormous tax benefits from the plan. We’re wondering what Jesus would say about the Republican’s compassionate christian effort to deny basic healthcare services to the poor, sick and elderly.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, applauds the new Republican healthcare plan, which will compassionately make getting basic medical services more difficult for the poor and elderly while giving enormous tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, applauds the new Republican healthcare plan, which will compassionately make getting basic medical services more difficult for the poor and elderly while giving enormous tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans.

Ben Carson’s Slavery Alternative Facts

We knew from Con-a-thon 2016 that Ben Carson was pretty inept, but Wow! Despite warning everyone that he wasn’t qualified to hold a cabinet position, Carson accepted CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s appointment to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) even though Carson had no qualifications.

Well in his first official address, Carson brought out some big time alternative facts by stating that African Americans came to America as immigrants ‘to a land of dreams and opportunity’. Yeah that’s right everyone. In the warped minds of conservatives, slaves were coming voluntarily to America to work their dream jobs of working sun up to sun down every day for no pay and maybe some food and water if they worked hard enough (thirty lashes if they didn’t). Remember when Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly tried to push that crap that slavery wasn’t all that bad on the public last year. Well, Ben Carson is now drinking the Kool-Aid and blathering this crap to the masses, thus proving how truly unqualified he is. Seriously, how was this man a brain surgeon. We wouldn’t even allow him to cut our steaks let alone cut into our brains.

Actor Samuel L. Jackson had the best retort to Carson’s inanity. He responded on Twitter ““OK!! Ben Carson …. I can’t! Immigrants ? In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!” Later he doubled down by stating “It strikes me as misguided, and, more than anything, for a person that is supposed to be as smart as he is, it smacks of ignorance. If you cannot proofread something and see for yourself that there is something wrong with this, then you really don’t need to be where you are, and you should probably do us all a favor and resign and go off into obscurity.” Bravo Samuel L. Jackson!!! We’d really like to see his character from Pulp Fiction, hitman Jules Winnfield, take up the issue with sleepy purveyor of alternative facts, Ben Carson.

Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson's alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson’s alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Perjurious Sessions

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is certainly living up to his low expectations that we set for him. It has just been revealed that the new Attorney General lied under oath about communications with the Russians during the 2016 election. Sessions said that he didn’t but new reports confirm that he did talk with Russian the ambassador. Of course, in true Republican fashion, he blamed the people who asked the questions not his own impeccable self. But he did recuse himself from any inquiry into any interference from Russia during the 2016 election.

Of course, America’s new CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump defended his attorney general saying he did nothing wrong. Trump has also started practicing another typical GOP canard; blaming the previous Democratic president. The incompetent Bush Administration took delight in blaming all their mistakes on Bill Clinton. Now, Trump is doing the same to Obama. He’s even gone as far as accusing Obama of wiretapping him during the election, without proof of course. We almost wish Obama did wiretap Trump and an investigation would commence. Then at least we’d hear about the conversations Trump and his lackeys may have had with the Russians.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, receives instructions from his boss, CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, that his perjury about his conversations with the Russian ambassador during the 2016 election at his confirmation hearings was actually all Barack Obama's fault.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, receives instructions from his boss, CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, that his perjury about his conversations with the Russian ambassador during the 2016 election at his confirmation hearings was actually all Barack Obama’s fault.

Arizona’s Gestapo Tactics

An alarming bill was approved late last week by the Arizona Senate that shows that the fascist tendencies of today’s Republican party run from the national level all the way down to the local levels of governments. SB1142 is a bill that would almost make it a crime to protest. It states that if any damage happened during the protest, all the protesters would be held accountable and their assets seized. The wording even goes as far as saying that the organizers of the protest, even if they physically weren’t present could be arrested, charged for racketeering and their assets taken. The Young Turks had a nice analysis about it. Needless to say, this ruined our weekend.

Fortunately, there was enough of a national outcry that the Arizona Speaker of the House, J.D. Mesnard killed the bill…for now. We’ve lived here long enough that we have no doubt that the fascist Republicans in this state will try to resurrect this bill in the future when it’s politically convenient.

But there have been a flourishing of anti-protests bills by Republicans in 18 states. This gets us thinking. The Republicans have a Nazi advising Trump and Steve Bannon has made it no secret that he wants to dismantle the government. Since his blueprint for ‘success’ seems to involve Nazi Germany as a model, could a Reichstag fire type event come in the near future?

What’s scary for us here in Arizona are the words of John Kavanagh. He’s the state senator from Fountain Hills, which for you non-Arizonans, is an exclusive, hoidy-toidy community where the well-to-do congratulate each other on how great they are and look down their noses on people who don’t live there. Donald Trump gave a stump speech there. Kavanagh, a former police officer with the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey has said controversial things before. But about SB1142 he said “You now have a situation where you have full-time, almost professional agent-provocateurs that attempt to create public disorder. A lot of them are ideologues, some of them are anarchists, but this stuff is all planned. Wouldn’t you rather stop a riot before it starts? Do you really want to wait until people are injuring each other, throwing Molotov cocktails, picking up barricades and smashing them through businesses in downtown Phoenix?’’ So basically if you even think of doing any kind of a protest, the police could say that you’re an ideologue or provocateur and can just assume that the protest could become violent and bam!…you’re going to jail. Wow! Thoughtcrime!  Heinrich Himmler of the Gestapo would be proud.

Arizona state senator, John Kavanagh, does his best Gestapo officer impersonation as a peaceful protester has the audacity to practice her right to lawful assembly as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

Arizona state senator, John Kavanagh, does his best Gestapo officer impersonation as a peaceful protester has the audacity to practice her right to lawful assembly as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.

GOP’s Environmental Plunder Agency

While America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, provides insipid daily distractions, the Republicans are in the process of wrecking the government of the United States. One of the worst cabinet appointments Trump has been Scott Pruitt as head of the Environmental Protection Agency. The EPA has it’s beginning back in 1970 thanks to Republican Richard Nixon, of all people. It’s purpose is to regulate corporate America and protect the people of the United States from unscrupulous pollution by mining, gas, oil, chemical and other industries that endanger life by dumping pollutants into the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat. It’s a good thing!

But Scott Pruitt, like so many others in the GOP, is firmly in the back pocket of the gas, oil and coal industries. His selection as head of the EPA is like putting foxes in charge of the hen house. The reason why the Senate hurriedly and narrowly confirmed him is that email have surfaced which prove how much of a lackey Pruitt is for the dirty energy industries.

Pruitt is like an old-timey Snidely Whiplash robber baron type who will change the meaning of the EPA’s acronym into the Environmental Plunder Agency. Yes, we have no doubt that Pruitt and his Republican corporate lackey buddies in congress will be trying to convince Americans very soon that mercury and sulfuric acid in your drinking water is good for you.

New head of the EPA and gas, oil and coal industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, declares that the agency's acronym now stands for the Environmental Plunder Agency and that mercury and sulfuric acid in your drinking water is good for you.

New head of the EPA and gas, oil and coal industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, declares that the agency’s acronym now stands for the Environmental Plunder Agency and that mercury and sulfuric acid in your drinking water is good for you.

Sweden: Hot Bed Of Terrorism…Or Is That Tourism?

Another alternative fact was born this weekend at one of Donald Trump’s Nuremberg rallies in Florida. America’s CEO/Dictator made a huge deal about what a mess the world was in and then proceeded to talk about all the terrorism problems in Sweden…because…you know….when you think about hot beds of terrorism you don’t think of Iraq, or Syria or Afghanistan…you think of….Sweden. People in Sweden even spoke up and were wondering what the hell Trump was talking about.

The GOP enablers were quick to defend the orange haired rage monster by claiming he was quoting a story on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network about an increase in violent crimes, supposedly related to immigrants, even though statistics show that the overall crime rate has gone down since 2005.  But as we’ve found out already, facts don’t matter to Republicans…they just create their own alternative facts to suit their own agenda.

Unfortunately, thanks to the ever vigilant Donald Trump, the world has to cross Sweden off it’s list of likely tourist destinations.

Look what's happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

Look what’s happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

The Russian Connection

A huge scandal has arisen just three weeks into the Trump Administration and it’s all hands on deck for Republicans as they try to lie and spin their way out of yet more treachery and deceit. This time, Michael Flynn has resigned as National Security Advisor due to his contacting Russian officials about sanctions against Russia in the waning days of the Obama Administration. Initially, Flynn said he didn’t but now the truth has come out and he did. Hence, the first casualty of the Trump administration. More caca will hit the fan soon as pressure mounts to investigate who knew what and when.

What’s more is that initially, Utah congressman and smuggest person in the House of Representative, Jason Chaffetz, who is chair of the House Oversight Committee, said that there will be no investigation of Flynn and his connections to Russia. WHAT???!!! Are you freakin’ kidding!!! But Chaffetz wants to continue to investigate Hillary Clinton over her emails even though no wrongdoing was reported by the FBI in numerous investigations. Republicans are acting that they’re very concerned about the possible connections between Russia and Trump, but you can bet they will give a half-ass effort in investigating any wrongdoing. Even Rand Paul admitted “I just don’t think it’s useful to be doing investigation after investigation, particularly of your own party.” Wow! What integrity!

So will the press grow a spine and dig further into this stinking pile of dung like they should? Will the Republicans show actual ethics and integrity and investigate other Republicans for possible wrongdoing? Will America’s CEO/Dictator quit his job to go golfing? Stay tuned for answers to these and other burning questions on the next exciting episode of The Apprentice President.

In the wake of National Security Advisor Michal Flynn's scandalous resignation because of possible treasonous connections with Russia, smuggest Congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz bravely proposes that we investigate Hillary Clinton's emails which pleases America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, who loves a good lackey.

In the wake of National Security Advisor Michal Flynn’s scandalous resignation because of possible treasonous connections with Russia, smuggest Congressman alive, Jason Chaffetz bravely proposes that we investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails which pleases America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, who loves a good lackey.

The Confederate Attorney General

There are many horrible picks in American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s cabinet, or as we’re calling it here, his Board of Directors. One of the most controversial is Alabama Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (Yeeeesh! Even his name screams the old Confederacy). There has been much said about Sessions history of racist commentary, especially when he was AG of Alabama. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we’re also very concerned about his statements concerning secular humanists and his desire to make America into a christian theocracy, thus rejecting separation of church and state.

What was notable about the debate concerning his confirmation was that Elizabeth Warren was silenced by the Republicans stating that she was impugning the character of a fellow Senator, conveniently overlooking the fact that they impugned the character of President Obama, who used to be a Senator, for 8 frigging years. All she was trying to do was read Coretta Scott King’s letter opposing Session’s confirmation as a federal district court judge in Alabama in 1986. Fortunately, fellow Democrats, all men, read Coretta Scott King’s letter in entirety the next day….right before the Senate confirmed this bible thumping, racist, bigoted Confederate throw-back as America’s top lawyer.

Confederate Attorney General and good ol' boy, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, assures all the poor, frightened, straight, white, christian males that the good ol' days of the Confederacy will return much to the delight of a Ku Klux Klansman.

Confederate Attorney General and good ol’ boy, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, assures all the poor, frightened, straight, white, christian males that the good ol’ days of the Confederacy are a coming back real soon, much to the delight of a white-sheeted onlooker.