Archive for March 26, 2013

Top Republican Suggestions For Better Conservation

The St. Ronald Reagan Institute For Real Science has recently released a new and improved guide to conservation, Republican style, called “Neoconservation”. The BilgeBucket Gazette presents to you some of the suggestions and fascinating findings stated in the report.

  • Go out and buy a Hummer. NOW!
  • Support your local utility company. Leave the lights on.
  • Smog is good for you. Trees cause pollution. Go cut down a tree.
  • Extinction is perfectly natural. The polar bear’s gonna die out eventually anyway.
  • Crude oil is a necessary part of a caribou’s diet.
  • Global warming is good for the planet and the economy. Just think of all the land in Antarctica that can be developed if the ice caps melt.
  • Less ozone means better suntans.
  • It’s our God given right as Americans to drill for and use every drop of oil on the planet.
  • America has plenty of mountains. We can spare two, three or fifty for mining.
  • Acid rain scrubs your body clean.
  • Factories are our friends. Go hug a smokestack.

The Party of New Ideas

Former Republican Governor of Florida and brother of the bestest President ever, George W. Bush, laid the ground work this past week for a possible run at the White House in 2016 when he said on Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, that he believes that there isn’t any Bush baggage at all. Wow! We want to know what color the sky is in Jeb Bush’s wonderful wacky world.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush comes up with a fresh proposition for America, because the Republicans are the party of new ideas.

There’s A New Shepherd In Town

And it continues…………….

The catholic faithful rejoice at the completely democratic selection of their new leader.

Papal Shocker

Holy Smoke! There’s an upset in Rome!

In a stunning upset, American comedians Cheech and Chong, were elected co-popes by the college of cardinals in Rome.