We’re sick of current affairs so here’s another golden oldie article for the weekend…
There is enormous power in television and visual media. All it takes is one appearance on tv or visual media, whether it’s a commercial, local news or even Youtube, and a normal everyday human being becomes a star; a person somehow better than everyone else just because he or she appeared in front of a camera at the right time and place. Yes – we humans are a strange bunch aren’t we.
This article is from our March 13, 2005 issue.
Local Man Appears On TV; Suddenly Becomes Stud
Dale Byers, a struggling Cactus Corners actor, is finding that he has become irresistible to women following his appearance in a commercial for Cowboy Tex Bingo’s Used Auto Emporium.
“Well, I’m not sure what’s going on,” said Byers, scratching his scraggly brown hair. “I mean my acting coach, Tina Martin, says that I’m definitely a character actor, not a leading man. People say I’m a cross between Bob Saget and Conan O’Brien. Needless to say, I don’t get a lot of action. But since that commercial came on, I don’t mind saying, I’ve become quite the stud.”
The commercial features Cowboy Tex Bingo stating that he’s got the best deals in Cactus Corners and asks customers for testimonials. Byers steps up and says, “Tex got me a great deal on 1992 Ford Probe. Now I can take my girl out to the finer restaurants in town.” Byers then gives the camera an excited thumbs up.
Kit Dayne, an actress in Byers acting class said, “Like I never really noticed him before. He always did these dorky Bullwinkle impersonations in class. Like, who is Bullwinkle anyway? But like when he appeared in that commercial, it was like he was somebody. It’s like I want to attach myself to his rising star. I’ve been sitting next to him in class the last couple weeks wearing low neck sweaters and mini skirts. Like, I want to be the girl he takes out for dinner in his Probe.”
Sue Briscoe, who works with Byers at TGI Yummys said, “I can’t explain it, but since I saw him on that commercial, it’s like he’s a legitimate human being now. The fact he stood in front of a camera and recited stupid canned words make him seem larger than life. He’s actually met Cowboy Tex Bingo! He’s so much better than me and I want him bad.”
Dr. Cecil Griffin, a sociology professor at Cactus Corners Community College attempted to explain the phenomenon. “You see television represents power in the modern world and it’s no secret that women are attracted to powerful men. So when a man appears on TV, even though he may be a repulsive geek, he is perceived to have power. And like Al Pacino in Scarface said, once you get the power you get the women.”
Byers added excitedly, “I’ve got a commercial coming up next month for a hemorrhoid cream. Just think of the babes I’ll get after that airs.”