Go Nuts, Women!

The Jan. 6th hearings have begun and the committee members seem to be doing a good job of laying the groundwork that the Capitol riots were indeed an attempted coup (like we all know it was) and not a friendly, little tourist visit like TFG and his gaslighting Republicans sheeple claim it was. Will it lead to the lying, orange-haired megalomaniac and some of his henchman actually paying for their crimes and going to prison? Unfortunately, we’re pretty skeptical on that.

But as if on cue, the Supreme Court decided to take the attention off of Trump’s culpability by finally overturning Roe v. Wade and setting women’s rights back a half century. We’ve commented many times about a woman’s right to have autonomy over her own body. This seems straightforward to us here at the Bucket and we’re guys. Maybe if the situation is presented in a different way, then maybe the authoritarian christian conservatives who want to rule over every aspect of our lives with an iron fist will understand. Here goes! The uterus is a part of a woman’s body. The testes are parts of a man’s body. It stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman should be able to control a man’s testes. Since the ultra conservative Supreme Court has also expanded concealed gun rights and firearms are pretty much free for the taking here in America, maybe women should start blasting some nuts of these sanctimonious assholes to make a point. Then maybe they’d understand that a person should be able to control their own bodies. We say GO NUTS, WOMEN!!!

In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman's uterus, then a woman can control a man's testes. Go nuts, women!
In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman can control a man’s testes. Go nuts, women!

The Ignominious MTHead

The up and coming Republicans in the House of Representative are notorious for one reason – they’re all colossally stupid. Take Matt Gaetz … please. Much like his mentor TFG, Gaetz makes ten inane comments each day before breakfast. Then there is Colorado’s answer to Sarah Palin, Lauren Boobert (misspelling intended). She thinks she’s actually in the same class as AOC, but her comments and actions say otherwise. But the biggest ass on the GOP’s team has to Marjorie Taylor Greene, a.k.a. MTG or as she should be called MTHead. This living relic of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons mating has collected an astonishing collection of insipid statements in just less than two years of serving as a representative for Georgia’s 14th district which covers the northwest corner of the state.

Just how dumb is this woman? Here’s just a partial summary of her stupidity. MTHead stated that the 2018 California wildfires was started by Jewish space lasers. MTHead stated that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi uses her gazpacho (instead of Gestapo) police in order to spy on House members. MTHead was stripped of committee assignments because she spread QAnon conspiracy theories and incited violence against Democrats. MTHead has repeatedly called coronavirus a hoax and proudly spread anti-vaccine disinformation which won her a ban from Twitter. MTHead has been at the forefront of supporting TFG’s big lie about non-existent election fraud. MTHead has openly supported Russia’s dictator Vlad Putin in his illegal war against Ukraine. MTHead is famously pro-gun and anti-abortion. Her latest of countless gaffes is her conspiracy about Bill Gates forcing us to eat burgers made in peach tree dishes (instead of petri dishes). Holy Freaking Zeus, folks!!! This woman is a complete train wreck!!! What a MORON!!!

Unfortunately, the problem is that the district MTHead represents is heavily right wing conservative Republican. She just handily won her primary and looks to be a shoo-in for another two years despite being possibly the stupidest Congressperson in history. We know one thing: we will never visit that section of Georgia. The people who would elect this imbecile are not worth knowing.

The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia's 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.
The dull, ovine stare, Neanderthal head shape and insipid commentary on Jewish space lasers, gazpacho police and peach tree dishes indicate that Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia’s 14th district may be the stupidest member of the U.S. House of Representatives ever.

Thoughts And Prayers Aren’t Working

Another day, another mass shooting. Ahhhh, America! Memorial Day weekend was celebrated with eleven mass shootings. We’ve commented about the ineptitude of our lawmakers in relation to common sense gun laws numerous times before here over the years. And the cowardly corporate lackeys who call themselves Senators and Representatives are once again trotting out the empty platitudes of ‘thoughts and prayers’ after the deadly Uvalde school shooting last week and the horrendous massacre at supermarket in Buffalo on May 14th. Will these shootings be the ones that will get some gun control legislation passed? Sorry to be pessimistic, but no. This nation has a colossal problem and that is the love of guns is institutionalized in every aspect of our life; media, movies, culture and economy. Our politicians are nothing more than corporate lackeys for weapons industry and the NRA. The term ‘gun fetish’ is very appropriate. We’ve got people in this country who love guns more than life itself. And many of these people are the same ones who state that they are pro-life. The truth is that there are many people in this country who’ve never owned or shot a firearm and are living very happy, healthy, productive lives.

We’re repeating our photo-toon from our February 14, 2020 post. Once more, we say that if you love your guns more than life itself than do not call yourself pro-life. Guns exist to kill, not give life. So, go home and f*ck your guns, you hypocritic assholes.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!
Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!

The Rise Of The Sanctimonious Assholes

With the impending Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, thus ending a woman’s autonomy over her own body, the radical, right wing, authoritarian conservative christians are finally making their move. It’s been fifty years in the making and it shouldn’t be surprising to anybody who has been paying attention. The Republican Party has been taken over by the evangelical christians and it’s never been more evident than during the disastrous presidencies of George W. Bush and TFG here in the twenty-first century.

John Dean’s excellent book Conservatives Without Conscience mentions the rise of the religious extremists and how former Arizona Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater lamented their influence over the Republican party. It was Goldwater who suggested the book to Dean as a warning to what would happen if these zealots took over the party. Amazingly, Goldwater would probably be booted out of the party he once headed because his stances would be considered too moderate for today’s GOP. For instance, Goldwater was pro-choice, supported medical marijuana and advocated for gay rights. The former Senator stated about conservative christians:

Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.

Unfortunately, his prescient words have come to pass. The Supreme Court is loaded with regressive thinking religious conservatives who believe that Americans should be connecting to a first century database instead of a twenty-first century one. Furthermore, as we have found out in the past twenty years, compromise is a four letter word to them as they think that going to church every Sunday and saying prayers by rote like the sheeple they are somehow makes them superior to everyone else. Like we’ve mentioned before, they want to make America into the Holy Corporate Empire by any authoritarian means possible.

The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.
The late Senator and conservative icon Barry Goldwater of Arizona knew all too well how impossible the holy roller evangelical christians are to deal with and now these sanctimonious assholes control the Republican party and are hell bent on imposing their will on all Americans.

Rotten Cotton On Wimmin Folk

We’re still kind of in our malaise here at the Bucket but can you blame us. Geez, look at all the crap that’s happening right now: Russia’s war against Ukraine, the coronavirus’ war against all humans, the Republicans war against democracy and . . . drum roll please . . . the Republicans war against women.

Thanks to a leak, the Supreme Court is poised to overthrow a woman’s autonomy over her own body despite an overwhelming majority of people in America supporting a woman’s right to choose, especially in cases of rape and incest. Regressive states like Texas and Oklahoma have already passed laws prohibiting abortion after six weeks which basically is forcing a woman to give birth no matter what. Enter 2024 presidential hopeful Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, who is trying to present himself as heir apparent to TFG. Well, Mr. Cotton want’s to imprison any one who protests the anti-choice decision in true authoritarian fashion.

We’ve commented before about Cotton. He has the charisma of a wet diaper but he is way smarter than TFG. Would he stand a chance in 2024? We’ve seen that the Republican base will support even a jackass like TFG, so yes he would. Democrats should be wary of this Cletus Spuckler doppelganger because he would be just as ruthless as Trump and he has the intelligence to turn the United States into fascist nation or the Holy Corporate Empire.

Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson's yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin' up vittles.
Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson’s yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin’ up vittles.

The New Supreme KBJ

There’s been a lot of disturbing events happening in the world lately; the relentless pandemic, the brutal atrocities committed by Russians against the Ukrainians, the lack of progress on prosecuting the Capitol rioters and TFG, and the ongoing stupidity of the radical right-wing Republicans across the land. But one good thing happened this past week. Ketanji Brown Jackson was confirmed as the first African American woman Supreme Court Justice despite obvious racist ratf*ckery from GOP Senators during the confirmation hearings. Probably the most representative of the colossal inanity of the Republican efforts was retiring Senator Roy Blunt’s comments: “I think she’s certainly going to be confirmed. I think it’ll be a high point for the country to see her go on the court and take her unique perspective to the court.” So basically ol’ Roy Boy said she’s a great, qualified, historical candidate but he won’t vote for her. What an asshole! At least three GOPers – Romney, Murkowski and Collins – buried partisanship and voted for her. But then only Romney remained to applaud the new justice. Haters gonna hate!

Congratulations to Justice Jackson! We have no doubt you’ll be a successful jurist. Now we just need to get Asian American and Native American justices on the court.

Congratulations to new Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson!
Congratulations to new Supreme Court Justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson!

TPing The World: 2022 Edition

We’ve been enjoying the wonderfully mild weather here in Arizona (hence, fewer posts), doing things outdoors to try and boost our morale a bit with all the insanity going on right now, not just in this country, but in the world. We thought we were getting better but then Russia’s dicktator (misspelling intended) Vladimir Putin had to go and invade Ukraine. We would have thought that Russia had enough land but apparently not. The rest of Europe learned its lessons well from World War II and the Cold War, but apparently Russia wants to relive those glory days of old. Fortunately, most of the world has condemned Putin’s brazen attack, even his allies in Czech Republic and Hungary. But the Ukrainians are fighting hard because they absolutely want democracy, not to be a puppet state of Putin.

Predictably, the only person who seems to be supporting Putin is his fan boy, TFG. The twice impeached, megalomaniac man child couldn’t stop praising his man crush about the invasion at CPAC. Up until the actual invasion, most right wing conservative Republicans were supporting Putin more than Biden, serving as useful idiots for Putin’s authoritarian propaganda. How’s that for being a patriotic American. They almost universally praise Putin as being stronger than Biden. Apparently, being an authoritarian asshole who bullies everyone else is the GOP’s definition of strong. Of course, the Republicans are blatantly pursuing a course of anti-democratic, authoritarian rule with their mostly unapologetic support of Trump and the January 6th attempted fascist coup. No wonder they’re in love with Putin. Maybe TFG could move to Russia and become a citizen like tough guy actor Steven Seagall.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from December 21, 2016 because T**** and Putin are still TPing the world; Putin in Europe and Asia and TFG with his insipid rallies and stupid speeches here in America. Sorry, folks — the planet is still royally screwed until we figure out a way to rid ourselves of these authoritarian, right wing, fascist assholes. Maybe we can interest T & P to take a ship to Mars with other greedy, corporatist jackasses Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson. Then each of these manly men could all praise each other with their hot air until they run out of oxygen.

Support Ukraine!!! Support Democracy!!!

Bend over world, here come Trump and Putin.
With the new Trump-Putin new world order, the denizens of planet Earth look to be royally screwed.
Support Ukraine!!! Support Democracy!!!
Support Ukraine!!! Support Democracy!!!

Sinema: Sassy Fool & Republican Tool

Once again, an Arizona politician is embarrassing the state on a national level and this time it’s not a Republican. In a valiant bipartisan effort to be just as bad as Arizona’s GOP, Democrat Krysten Sinema has pretty much ended the Voting Rights Bill which Joe Biden and the Democrats have been pushing that will preserve the right to vote for all Americans, not just rich white ones. But Ms. Sinema and West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin have decided that defending the filibuster is more important than protecting democracy, much to the delight of the Republicans, most of whom still think the 2020 election was stolen by Joe Biden.

So, what’s the fricking deal with Ms. Sinema? We were psyched when she got elected in 2018. She had built herself up as a liberal and her credentials were solid. She had protested the Iraq War and had solidly supported Democratic causes. She’s even a member of the LGBTQ community. Basically, she checks all the boxes you want for a Democrat. To be fair, she has voted in favor of most of the bills Biden and the rest of the Democrats have pushed through. But she also supported several pieces of legislation during the TFG’s administration that the pro-Trump Republicans favored. So, again, what’s the deal?

Ms. Sinema seems to be under the delusion that she is some sort of master of bipartisanship. Somehow, only she has the grrrl power ability to reach across the aisle and sing Kumbaya with the likes of Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz. And predictably, the Republicans like Turtle Boy love her, but only because she is being such a tool. Did Ms. Sinema not see the Capitol riots? The Republicans attempted a coup to overthrow a legitimate election! The 21st century GOP cannot and should not be trusted on anything! The voting rights bill needs to pass urgently – NOW – or the Republicans will absolutely put an end to democracy if they ever get power back. This is obvious! They had no problem obstructing Obama’s Supreme Court nomination in 2016, claiming it was an election year, and then hypocritically pushing their right wing nomination through in 2020, which was an election year.

But Ms. Sinema has some kind of strange attraction to the filibuster which she sees as a means of bipartisanship but in actuality is a ugly method of obstructionism. During the Civil Rights Era, Martin Luther King said this about the filibuster: “I think the tragedy is that we have a Congress with a Senate that has a minority of misguided senators who will use the filibuster to keep the majority of people from even voting.” The filibuster has an awful history, especially in the last forty years, which is right about the time that gridlock seized Congress. Yes, if you want to blame the lack of progress on any meaningful legislation for the last forty years, you can blame the embrace of the filibuster or filibluster or Phil E. Buster or whatever you want to call this piece of rancid piece of obstructionism, by both parties (or corporate ass-kissing syndicates as we call them here at the Bucket). A common excuse by Democrats for not voting in elections is “what’s the point”. They claim that there’s no difference between the two parties and that both worship at the altar of capitalism, which is true. But the Democrats have pushed forth legislation in the past like Social Security Act, the Civil Rights Act and Medicare which has truly helped millions of Americans. Biden’s Build Back Better program and the Voting Rights Act are important pieces of legislation that will help millions. The American people overwhelmingly support these bills, especially the ones for infrastructure. But for some strange reason, Ms. Sinema wants to preserve the vile, obstructionist wrench that is the filibuster. If we get rid of it and pass the bills, Sinema opines that when the next election comes around and Republicans take back the House and Senate, then they will pass all their right wing legislation and do whatever they want – just like they did to put Amy Coney Barrett and Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court with a simple majority vote – with no consequences. But if the Democrats actually PASS THE BILLS AND DO SOMETHING, then maybe they won’t lose the elections. Maybe the electorate will realize the Democrats mean business and won’t roll over and play dead every time the GOP clear their throats like they’ve done for the past twenty years.

Yes folks, Ms. Sinema seems to have pulled the bait-and-switch with all us Arizonans who voted for her thinking she would pursue progressive values. But it appears she’s given in to pressure from corporate interests. Since we’re her constituents, we regularly receive email correspondence from her office proudly touting her work for Veteran’s Rights, which is good. But it’s also not controversial at all. We know of no one who is against giving Veterans aid or assistance. This is like saying that you support breathing. But yet on the vital issues like preserving the right to vote for every American, Ms. Sinema seems to be clueless or bought out by corporate interests or bought out by the GOP or all three. At least the Arizona Democratic Party has announced they are very upset with her support of the filibuster and are looking to other candidates like Ruben Gallego in 2024 when Sinema’s term expires. Her poll numbers are in the toilet and good luck getting the Republicans support if she switches parties. Sinema is just a sassy fool and useful tool right now for the GOP’s fascist agenda. One thing’s for sure: Ms. Cutesy Pie Bait-and-Switcher won’t be a Senator too much longer. Arizonans are already sick of her schtick . Citizens from across the nation are sick of her schtick . But at least she’ll have a job at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, when she’s handed her walking papers in 2024. Then she can sip her sangria, buy more sassy grrrl clothes, count all her money and swoon at the thought of Phil E. Buster.

Update 1/22/22: The Arizona Democratic Party has censured Ms. Sinema. Will it do any good? Probably not, but it means that it is very likely she will have primary opponents in 2024.

For some strange reason, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema seems to be enamored with the ugliest of Senate procedures, the filibuster (or Phil E. Buster) which prevents progress of any kind for the Democrat's Build Back Better and Voting Rights Act legislation. But at least this cheeky grrrl has sangria, sassy clothes, lots of money from corporate donors and new friends in the GOP.
For some strange reason, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema seems to be enamored with the ugliest of Senate procedures, the filibuster (or Phil E. Buster) which prevents progress of any kind for the Democrat’s Build Back Better and Voting Rights Act legislation. But at least this cheeky grrrl has sangria, sassy clothes, lots of money from corporate donors and new friends in the GOP.

Jan. 6th: Treason Day

January 6th marks the one year anniversary of the Capitol riots, or Treason Day as we’re calling it here at the Bucket, and like we mentioned in a previous post, many of the instigators like Paul Gosar, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Marjorie Taylor Greene are still roaming free and haven’t been brought to justice or even expelled from Congress. And the biggest culprit, TFG, is still blabbing and squawking about non-existent election fraud on his cross country tour including an upcoming appearance here in Arizona. Attorney General Merrick Garland, who sure seems to be taking his sweet time, assured America that his office will continue to pursue those responsible and that “the actions we have taken thus far will not be our last.” We certainly hope so because up to now, we haven’t been particularly impressed with Mr. Garland or his Department of Justice.

We’re reposting our photo-toon from our November post because it pretty much says it all. The facts surrounding Treason Day are undisputable. The investigation’s federal prosecutors have charged more than 700 people related to the attack, with new criminal cases introduced every week. Many of the accused have military backgrounds and are relatively young. About a quarter of those charged are accused of physical violence. But like we’ve said before, this was an attempted coup to overthrow a legitimate election with almost zero voter fraud, no matter how much the Republicans claim there was! This was a dress rehearsal. If we don’t punish those responsible, the next time . . . and there will be next time, the rioters will be successful and America will cease to be a democracy!

Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.
Despite overwhelming evidence that the Jan. 6th riot was an attempted coup, the Republicans continue to gaslight the American people by saying that it was just a nice, friendly tourist visit.

Rewind: Lunch Break Lotto

We were scanning through our archives recently and we noticed this article about the foibles of working in corporate America from our January 11, 2006 issue. You see, workers have been getting screwed for some time now and, unfortunately, this article still works for today like it did in 2006. The beat goes on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Juggermart Holds Exciting New Lottery For Lunch Breaks


In response to recent court cases complaining of its employees not being able to take lunch breaks, retail giant Juggermart, has announced a new lottery for employees to ‘win’ full half hour lunch breaks.

Lawrence T. Juggers, President and CEO of Juggermart, explained the new system. “This lottery will allow five employees per store the chance to have a full half hour lunch break for the day. A full half hour lunch break! This is great news for the employees who win. This means the lucky employee will not only be able to choke down their tuna fish sandwich, but he’ll also be able to wash it down with a refreshing beverage from one of our store soda vending machines, where every drinks sell for the low, low price of $1.00 for a 12 ounce can. The employees who don’t win will continue to get their regular ten minutes, not including rest room break. The employee will also be required to purchase their lottery ticket at the low, low price of two dollars per ticket. I mean who wouldn’t want a full half hour lunch break? With this fantastic program, geared for today’s worker, nobody can say that I’m not generous.”

Consumer advocate Clarence Simons said, “This is an outrage! Not only does Juggermart pay barely above minimum wage to it’s employees and forces them to work over forty hours a week without extra pay, they’re now stuffing this down the employee’s throat. Pretty soon the workers in this country will have no recourse whatsoever. I don’t know how Lawrence T. Juggers can sleep at night. If they didn’t have such low, low prices, I’d never shop there again.”

Employees had mixed reaction to the new ‘Lunch Lotto’ promotion. Sales clerk Dale McDougall at the Ft. Dinsdale, New Jersey store, said, “Well it would be nice to have a enough time to eat a sandwich. And to have a bathroom break so I don’t have to hold my pee all day long. And to have health care. And to see my wife and kids during waking hours. And to be able to pay my mortgage, even though I’m working seventy hours a week. But I’m just a lowly sales clerk. I’m sure Mr. Juggers knows what’s good for me better than I do.”

Cashier Fern Stack, of Juggermart’s Blythe, California store, said, “So let me get this straight. We have to pay two goddamn dollars for the lottery ticket and only five employees per store per day win a measly half hour lunch break while the rest of the employees continue to get ten friggin’minutes . . . as long as Juggermart keeps its low, low prices, I’m good!”

Store greeter Lou Farmer at the Winchester, Mississippi store, said “I’ve always wondered what it was like being a slave like my great-great-great grandfather. Now I know. Thanks Juggermart!”

Stock clerk Bessy Kuhlander at the Poedunk, Iowa store, said, “Oh, boy. I think it is a great idea. Mr. Juggers has certainly shown me why he is the boss. What a generous man. I sure hope I’m able to win the ‘Lunch Lotto’ one day and get a whole half hour to eat my lunch. I certainly hope Mr. Juggers remembers my kind words when he is filling the position of head stock clerk.”