Tag Archive for alternative facts

The Last Responder

The Trump presidency continues on its catastrophic way while America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, keeps spinning more lies, delusions and deceptions to the American people. The Washington Post lie counter is well over 12,000 and the petulant man child shows no sign of letting up. He really has a penchant for alternative facts and alternative history as well like his Battle of Yorktown Airport speech just last month. As we’ve noted before, his cronies also serve up a heaping helping of distracting flak as well.

In keeping with his history of distraction, Donald Trump recently regaled the media and a group of first responders with tales of how he was actually at Ground Zero after 9/11 helping out the firefighters despite there being no actual evidence that he did anything. He also claimed to have predicted 9/11, saw thousands of Muslims celebrating and saw people jumping from the Twin Towers from his penthouse. All false statements. Of course, facts don’t matter to Trump or to his supporters. Anytime someone accuses him of stretching the truth he projects, like his conservative Republican cohorts, and calls the real news ‘Fake News’, while everything that spews forth from his gaping maw is ‘the truth’. This is red meat to his troll like followers. If Trump said 2+2=4 is fake, his followers would blindly follow. And as we’ve seen, when he speaks hateful rhetoric like ‘go back to where they came from’, his followers load up their guns and take aim.

So, let’s delve into that warped mind that is Donald Trump. Let’s imagine what it was like on that fateful day back on September 11, 2001, when Golden Man of Truth, Donald Trump, the muscles of his sculptured body rippling, stepped to the forefront upon a piece of wreckage and proclaimed to the weary firefighters, “Follow me, boys”; and then proceeded to save the soul of not only New Yorkers but all Americans. It’s all there folks, in Donald Trump’s imagination.

America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, recently regaled the masses with the story of how on 9/11, he stepped to the forefront and bravely led the first responders in rescuing many New Yorkers and saving the soul of America.
America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, recently regaled the masses with the story of how on 9/11, he stepped to the forefront and bravely led the first responders in rescuing many New Yorkers and saving the soul of America.

The Battle of Yorktown Airport

One of the most amusing things that’s happened since we’ve been on break is the Independence Day celebration in Washington D.C. with special guest ‘speaker’, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump. To his credit, the speech wasn’t partisan and the expected military parade complete with tanks rolling down the parade route didn’t materialize. But Trump’s speech was pure. . .Trumpian.

In it, he rambled on about the Revolutionary War and managed to mangle the history of this country beyond recognition, juxtaposing events of the War of 1812 with the Battle of Yorktown from the Revolutionary War and inexplicably linking both with the taking of airports. Watch a video of this mess. Of course, Trump blamed it all on his teleprompter.

The nightmarish thing about this travesty is that Donald Trump is still President of the United States. Yes folks; the embarrassment continues unabated thanks to our feckless members of congress who refuse to remove this clown from office.

In the meantime, let’s revel in Trump’s alternative facts history, when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 of Yorktown Airport from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump recently regaled the masses with the story of the Battle of Yorktown Airport when George Washington and his band of patriots bravely saved a Starbucks at Terminal 2 from certain destruction and celebrated with victory caffè lattes for all.

Putin’s Puppet’s Puppet


Former Trump advisor, lackey and puppet, Omarosa Manigault Newman has captured the attention of the nation this past week with the release of her new book and tapes of the many lies told by the many liars who reside in the Trump administration. While we’re enjoying the barrage of leaks about this disastrous presidency, we’re also incredibly skeptical of Omarosa’s statements. Let’s be clear here – she’s a self-aggrandizing, obnoxious, mendacious, attention whore just like everyone else in the Trump White House including the orange haired man child. When she claims that Trump was eating paper like a spy out of espionage thriller… well… we have our doubts. Especially when she was such a colossal sycophant to Trump while she worked in the White House and praised him on the 2016 campaign trail.

Of course, now that Omarosa has switched teams, Trump, who once praised her, now vilifies her and has sicked his minions to attack her. Which brings us to Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s Queen of Alternative Facts, who recently emerged from her liars lair to spin lies and deception to protect Trump. Last week Conway denied that Trump was racist but yet had a hard time naming any staff members who were African-American. Omarosa’s leaked tapes seemed to have nullified this  particular claim. This week, Conway’s domestic troubles with her husband, who is strongly anti-Trump, have surfaced. Every time Conway opens her mouth, lies spew forth like a geyser of misinformation.

We’ve noticed that Trump’s puppet of alternative facts bears a striking resemblance to another puppet: from the 1970s, Wayland Flowers’ Madame.  Slap a turban on Conway’s head and load up the blue eye shadow and … Voila! We just wish Conway was as enjoyable as Madame was.

The Queen of Alternative Facts, Donald Trump's principal prevaricator puppet, Kellyanne Conway, bears a striking resemblance to Wayland Flower's beloved puppet from the 1970s, Madame.

The Queen of Alternative Facts, Donald Trump’s principal prevaricator puppet, Kellyanne Conway, bears a striking resemblance to Wayland Flower’s beloved puppet from the 1970s, Madame.

Ben Carson’s Slavery Alternative Facts

We knew from Con-a-thon 2016 that Ben Carson was pretty inept, but Wow! Despite warning everyone that he wasn’t qualified to hold a cabinet position, Carson accepted CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s appointment to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) even though Carson had no qualifications.

Well in his first official address, Carson brought out some big time alternative facts by stating that African Americans came to America as immigrants ‘to a land of dreams and opportunity’. Yeah that’s right everyone. In the warped minds of conservatives, slaves were coming voluntarily to America to work their dream jobs of working sun up to sun down every day for no pay and maybe some food and water if they worked hard enough (thirty lashes if they didn’t). Remember when Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly tried to push that crap that slavery wasn’t all that bad on the public last year. Well, Ben Carson is now drinking the Kool-Aid and blathering this crap to the masses, thus proving how truly unqualified he is. Seriously, how was this man a brain surgeon. We wouldn’t even allow him to cut our steaks let alone cut into our brains.

Actor Samuel L. Jackson had the best retort to Carson’s inanity. He responded on Twitter ““OK!! Ben Carson …. I can’t! Immigrants ? In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!” Later he doubled down by stating “It strikes me as misguided, and, more than anything, for a person that is supposed to be as smart as he is, it smacks of ignorance. If you cannot proofread something and see for yourself that there is something wrong with this, then you really don’t need to be where you are, and you should probably do us all a favor and resign and go off into obscurity.” Bravo Samuel L. Jackson!!! We’d really like to see his character from Pulp Fiction, hitman Jules Winnfield, take up the issue with sleepy purveyor of alternative facts, Ben Carson.

Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson's alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson’s alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

Sweden: Hot Bed Of Terrorism…Or Is That Tourism?

Another alternative fact was born this weekend at one of Donald Trump’s Nuremberg rallies in Florida. America’s CEO/Dictator made a huge deal about what a mess the world was in and then proceeded to talk about all the terrorism problems in Sweden…because…you know….when you think about hot beds of terrorism you don’t think of Iraq, or Syria or Afghanistan…you think of….Sweden. People in Sweden even spoke up and were wondering what the hell Trump was talking about.

The GOP enablers were quick to defend the orange haired rage monster by claiming he was quoting a story on Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network about an increase in violent crimes, supposedly related to immigrants, even though statistics show that the overall crime rate has gone down since 2005.  But as we’ve found out already, facts don’t matter to Republicans…they just create their own alternative facts to suit their own agenda.

Unfortunately, thanks to the ever vigilant Donald Trump, the world has to cross Sweden off it’s list of likely tourist destinations.

Look what's happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

Look what’s happening in that hotbed of terrorism, Sweden. Oh the humanity!

The Queen Of Alternative Facts

The Trump administration’s spin doctor, a.k.a resident bullshit artist, a.k.a. Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, has made quite a splash since Donald Trump has started his reign as CEO/Dictator of America.

Last week, she created the Orwellian term ‘alternative facts’ to defend Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s outright lie about the immensity of the Inauguration crowd despite the visual evidence to the contrary.

This week, she referenced the Bowling Green Massacre to justify Donald Trump’s immigration ban. The only problem with this is that the Bowling Green Massacre never happened. It’s not a lie folks, it’s just another alternative fact from the Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway.

The Trump Administration's Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, explains how Donald Trump ended the Bowling Green Massacre by killing Iraqis/Aliens with a laser cannon, thus saving America from certain death.

The Trump Administration’s Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, spins another yarn inflating the legend of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.