Tag Archive for retrospective

Rewind: Transformers Of The Middle East

Continuing with our brief Coming Soon To A Theater Near You retrospective…

Here’s a theater poster from our July19, 2007 edition highlighting the Neocon Production Transformers of the Middle East starring Dick ‘Rustbucket’ Cheney, Condoleezza ‘Chevtron ‘ Rice and George W. Bush as Lil’ DubDub, the chief Neocon transformer of that clusterf*ck called the Iraq War.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice invade Iraq with one mission: to transform the Middle East come Hell or the Apocalypse. Let the Quagmire Commence!

Transformers of the Middle East: Neocon transformers George W. Bush (Lil' DubDub), Dick Cheney(Rustbucket) and Condoleeza Rice(Chevtron) invade Iraq to transform it and the rest of the Middle East into an oil producing heaven for the west. Will they succeed or will they fan the flames of hatred and start an apocalyptic quagmire from which America will never recover. Rated R for Reprehensible.

Rummy Shows Some TLC

Since Donald Rumsfeld has decided to delight us with his presence again, we’ve decided to do a little Rummy Retrospective featuring some of his more hilarious antics from his tenure as Bush Secretary of Defense.

Remember that time ol’ Rummy spoke coherently and explained the complexities of the Iraq War? Neither do we. But there was the time back in December 2004, when Rummy was on the hot seat after one of his infamous quotes. At the time, soldiers were having to search through dumps for scrap metal so they could augment the inadequate armor they currently had on their vehicles, since you know, they were getting blown up. When a soldier asked why they didn’t have the armor available to protect the soldiers from harm, Rummy said, “It isn’t a matter of money. It isn’t a matter on the part of the army of desire. It’s a matter of production and capability of doing it. As you know, ah, you go to war with the army you have—not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.—You can have all the armor in the world on a tank and it can (still) be blown up…” What a compassionate conservative! Here’s a photo-toon from our January 16, 2005 issue, when Rummy tried to make it up to the troops with some TLC.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld shows how much of a 'compassionate conservative' he is by showing some TLC for the troops.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld shows how much of a 'compassionate conservative' he is by whipping up a batch of goodies loaded with TLC for the troops.

RNC 2004: The Neocon Future for America

Here’s the final installment of our RNC 2004 retrospective…

The future plan for America for the Neocons is the same in 2012 as it was in 2004: there will be tax cuts for the 1%ers and corporate welfare especially for oil, gas, energy, insurance, finance and defense corporations which will make the rich richer and demolish the middle class thus creating a super lower class to work for pittances in corporations or the military. And thanks to imperialistic foreign policy, perpetual wars will become the norm.  If Romney is elected, you can bet that war with Iran, Syria or some other perceived belligerent will be a certainty. And we’ll stay indefinitely in Afghanistan, the place where empires go to die. Romney will actually make the Dubya years look good. Yes, the future looks pretty bright for neoconservative America.

Little Tommy Kimball prepares for his future in neoconservative America.

RNC 2004: The Big Endorsement

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

In America, the Republican Party has become the party of God and Jesus. Well, we shouldn’t be surprised because Jesus was all about supporting the rich while despising the poor. We’re sure if Jesus came back today he’d be wearing a well tailored Armani suit, driving a BMW and/or a pickup, be a member of an exclusive country club, eating caviar, drinking the finest wines and carrying a loaded gun in case any poor person would think of threatening him. And as for healthcare, he’d say, “If you can’t afford it, well that’s your fault for being poor. Why should I help you?” That’s life in a christian nation. We’re also sure that it was Jesus who steered Tropical Storm Issac away from a direct hit on Tampa and instead directed it toward other red states like Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi, which have many poor people,  because, you know…he loves Republicans so much.

President Bush pulls some strings with the Big Guy and gets Jesus to appear to endorse his candidacy.

RNC 2004: Turning The Corner

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Remember when ol’ Dubya yanked our chain by always saying “We’re turning the corner on…<fill in the blank>”. Whether it was the deficit, the war in Iraq, economic recovery, cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina, coming out of the housing market collapse, etc… We were always turning the corner. America turned the corner so many times we kept going in circles in a downward spiral for the next four years.

President Bush and his wife Laura point toward the corner America is turning. Appearing on stage with Bush are his old friends, the Deficit, the Iraq Occupation, and Environmental Destruction.

RNC 2004: Like Father, Like Daughters

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

We can honestly say the Bush twins were the highlight of the convention. That speaks volumes.

The Bush twins, Barbara and Jenna, demonstrate that they are truly their father's daughters.


RNC 2004: Uncle Dick’s Message

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Only one thing to say here…What a Dick!

Vice President Dick Cheney emerged from his underground lair with a special message for John Kerry.

RNC 2004: Zellzapoppin

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Remember when then Democrat, Zell Miller, made headlines by attending the Republican Convention and then exciting the crowd by saying if John Kerry had his way, he’d outfit the army with spitwads.  Fun times!  And then remember his meltdown when Chris Matthews called him on it. Hilarious! What’s even funnier is that the Republican sheeple actually believed Miller and voted to put Dubya back into office for four more  years of mind-numbing incompetence. And what has Zell Miller been doing since he’s left office. Well, he supported Newt Gingrich’s candidacy in Con-a-thon 2012 and is a contributor on the Republican Propaganda Network a.k.a Fox News. Nuff’ said.

Senator Zell Miller enthralls the crowd with his impersonation of a raving lunatic.

RNC 2004: The Governator

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

In 2004, the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was the darling of the Republican party. He had just become the Republican governor of the very blue state of California. There were even some GOP henchmen, who were working to change the Constitution so that foreign born people like Arnold could become President. But alas, the Governator veered to the left during his terms in office, actually working with Democrats and supporting environmental legislation. This, of course, meant he fell out of favor with the corporate loving, environmental hating right wing. Now he’s out of office, divorced from Maria Shriver, and back to performing in bad action movie revivals (The Expendables franchise). But don’t worry folks…wait for it… he’ll be back! (Come on…you didn’t think we could resist putting in a lame catch phrase reference, do you?)

Always the pitchman, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hawks some of his lamer movies to the pliant crowd.


RNC 2004: The Flock Follows Their Shepherds

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Here are some Texas Republican sheeple hanging out at the 2004 convention exchanging ideas on how they can be more obedient to Dubya, their christian shepherds and the corporate establishment.

Bush supporters from Texas mull around waiting for orders on what to think and do.