Tag Archive for investigation

The Singing Rat

The big news the past week was the explosive testimony given by Michael Cohen, the former personal lawyer and ‘fixer’ for American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump.  In a hearing before the House Oversight committee, the rat Michael Cohen sang like a canary much to the chagrin of the House Republicans like Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows and Paul Gosar, who made absolute asses of themselves during the ‘interrogation’. They never questioned him but chose, in typical Republican fashion, only to assassinate his character, which we’ve all already surmised is abysmal. Even Cohen admitted he was a fool. The GOP logic: “You can’t trust a liar”.  The Republicans are also considerably irony impaired considering Cohen was the RNC’s deputy finance chairman up until eight months ago. Oh yeah…and then there’s the fact that Trump’s lie count is over 9,000.

One colossal buffoon was GOP Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, who said Cohen was testifying against Trump only because he had ‘sour grapes’ for not getting a White House job. Then Jordan pulled another typical Republican prank of trying to twist Cohen’s words, which caused Cohen to reply, “Shame on you, Mr. Jordan.” This is the same Jim Jordan, who kept quiet about alleged sexual abuse at Ohio State. So, Jordan is certainly not someone who should throw stones.

Another mammoth idiot was Arizona’s own Paul Gosar, who embarrassingly resorted to playground taunts of “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” and even had a poster with the same next to him at the hearing to which Cohen responded to Gosar, “Are you referring to me or the President?” Gosar  is famous for having six of his siblings take out an ad to vote against their brother in Arizona’s 4th district election in 2018. The fact that Gosar still won speaks more to the conservative loons in the 4th district who put this nutbag back into office. Maybe Gosar and Trump can retire and hang out at a grade school playground where they can ply their bullying tactics and be undisputed ‘kings’.

So what’s next for Michael Cohen besides much deserved jail time? How about a thrilling crime drama about an everyday goombah for a national criminal organization who turns state evidence against his crooked boss called ‘The Singing Rat’, rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

Stoney The Pinhead

Roger Stone has been plastered all over the news lately as the FBI raided his house last week and arrested the Trump crony and confidant in connection with lying about pursuing Russian hacked emails related with Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. Predictably, now Stone has been making the rounds whining about what a victim he is. A judge has even suggested a gag order to shut him up.

Stone is one weird, weird individual. He describes himself as an ‘agent provocateur’If anybody calls themselves an ‘agent provocateur’, run; run away fast – because that person is a colossal douchebag. Stone also has a tattoo of one of the most corrupt politicians of all time, Richard Nixon, on his back. Because of his admiration of Nixon, he proudly calls himself a ‘dirty trickster’, which may now get him in hot water with the Mueller investigation. Many jokes have been made about his attire, which transform him into some bizarre steampunk Batman villain.

But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Day Of The Long Knives

The results from the 2018 midterm elections are still trickling in and they look very favorably for the Democrats, a lot better than main stream media outlets are proclaiming them to be. Here in Arizona, Democrat Kyrsten Sinema has been declared the winner of the Senate seat vacated by Republican Jeff Flake. If the Dems can win the Senate election in Florida (the chance of them winning the run-off election in Mississippi are slim to none), then the net Republican pickup is only one seat. Not only that, Democrats had gains in almost every Rust Belt state that went to Trump in 2016 and it’s looking like they could end up with over 230 seats in the House.

As we pointed out in our last post, Trump is rattled. He knows that with the Democrats gaining control of the House, investigations of his shadowy election maneuverings and his secretive finances will be brought to the forefront. So, in an authoritarian move reminiscent of Germany’s ‘Night of the Long Knives’ (without the bloodshed) or more recently, Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre, he fired Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.  John Dean, a veteran of those heady Watergate days, even stated that Trump’s move seems like a planned murder. Trump has replaced Sessions with a shady, sycophantic automaton, Matthew Whitaker, who has openly admitted that Robert Mueller’s investigation should be shut down. Most people inside and outside of the Justice Department proclaim Whitaker to be a ‘f*cking fool’. Trump is acting like a cornered rat, so he’s sicking his fascist meat robot to do his dirty work and eliminate Mueller before any incriminating information is released to the public.

But it looks like Mueller is close to wrapping up his investigation. Donald Trump Jr. has already indicated that he thinks he’ll probably be indicted. As the Atlantic pointed out, it’s probably too late to stop Mueller. Could this be the beginning of the end for Trumpty Dumpty? Excuse our skepticism, but we’ve been hearing that for a year and a half now. Trump is unhinged and his acolytes have shown repeatedly that they prefer party power over democracy and justice. We don’t doubt that the GOP will do anything and everything to obstruct, obfuscate and deceive the American public like they’ve been doing for the last two years…hell…the last fifty years. Buckle up, folks! Things are going to get very interesting.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

Judge Rage

The hearings on Brett Kavanaugh’s alleged sexual assault on Christine Blasey Ford took center stage this week and the spectacle raised the Republican level of ugly to a whole new level (as if that were possible after two years of Donald Trump). Ms. Blasey Ford accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault back in high school, when Kavanaugh was a boozy, over-privileged Catholic school prepster. Of course, Kavanaugh went to college, became a frat boy and continued his elite, pampered ways with other spoiled brat frat buddies, lifting weights, boozing it up and scoring with the women. Now, he’s in another good ol’ boy’s club called the Republican party, where every woman should just be silent and let the menfolk conduct business. Once again, John Oliver gives a humorous, insightful analysis of the circus like proceedings.

Ms. Blasey Ford’s testimony was very credible by even Republican accounts. But Kavanaugh’s unhinged, political diatribe against the Clintons, Dems and everything to the left of center was downright disgusting and horribly disturbing. Kavanaugh doesn’t show the right temperament to be a Supreme Court justice (but he’d do just fine as an analyst on Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network).  At least, Arizona’s Senator Jeff Flake finally discovered his spine at the very last second and announced that an FBI investigation should be conducted…for one whole week. Wow! Thanks for all the time! And apparently the investigation will be very narrow in scope and controlled by…you guessed it…the White House. What a surprise! So apparently Trumpty Dumpty is gearing up for getting rid of Mueller in some duplicitous manner.

The Republicans are blatantly trying to shove this pompous, privileged, political henchman through to the highest court in the land so they can have complete and total control over this country for at least the next decade. Kavanaugh proved with his political rant that he would not be impartial and would rule in favor of whatever the Republican’s wanted whether it is right or wrong. The old coot Senators like Orrin Hatch, Lindsey Graham and ol’ Iowa pruneface, Chuck Grassley, couldn’t contain their supposed rage at the injustice being served at their boy, conveniently forgetting that they sat on Merrick Garland’s nomination for 400 days back in 2016 because they didn’t want to lose their precious advantage on the Supreme Court, not to mention the shitload of mendacious crap they’ve heaped on the Obamas, the Gores, the Kerrys and the Clintons in the last quarter century.

So what is the takeaway from this spectacle? Ms. Blasey Ford is completely credible and Brett Kavanaugh is a disingenuous, deceitful, partisan prevaricator who doesn’t deserve to be a Supreme Court justice. One more thing: get out and vote this November 6th and give these old fart GOP senators a swift kick in the their saggy, senile, decrepit asses.

Supreme Court nominee and unhinged, privileged, boozy ex-frat boy, Brett Kavanaugh vows bloody revenge on all who oppose him much to the delight of his unhinged, senile, old coot supporters in the Republican Senate's Good Ol' Boys club.

Supreme Court nominee and unhinged, privileged, boozy ex-frat boy, Brett Kavanaugh vows bloody revenge on all who oppose him much to the delight of his unhinged, senile, old coot supporters in the Republican Senate’s Good Ol’ Boys club.

The Republican Crime Syndicate

Things are heating up in the Robert Mueller investigation as more and more of Donald Trump’s cronies are being indicted or flipping on the orange haired man child. The list keeps growing of people close to Trump who are being exposed for corruption. The list includes: Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman; Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor; Rick Gates, former business partner of Manafort; and Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and ‘fixer’. One of Trump’s former campaign advisors, George Papadopoulos, just received a puny 14 day sentence for lying to the FBI. In addition to these crooks, there is also one of the first GOP congressmen to support Trump, New York’s Chris Collins, who’s been indicted on insider trading and California’s Duncan Hunter, who is accused along with his wife (who he promptly blamed completely) of misusing campaign funds.  Throw in corrupt former EPA chief Scott Pruitt, former HHS Secretary Tom Price, Donald Trump Jr., who may be implicated because of his Trump Tower meeting and of course, Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s current lawyer who looks like he came straight out of a mafia movie and has done nothing but constantly lie and embarrass himself since he was hired by Trump. It’s a rogue’s gallery of con artists who could have easily rubbed elbows with the likes of Capone against the FBI G-men in the 1920s and 30s. Hey, whaddya’ know…Trump is fighting against the FBI just like those hoodlums.

The indictments are now prompting America’s CEO/Dictator to become unglued. He has accused Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III of hurting Republican chances in the midterms.  He continues his assault on the free press stating that it is the ‘enemy of the people’.  Bob Woodward’s new book release paints a pretty dismal picture of the Trump White House and has Trump champing at the bit. Now the orange megalomaniac is blowing his top with his own staff because of a recent op-ed piece in the New York Times which pretty much states that Trump is an addle-brained lunatic incapable of making sound decisions.

So, logically with all this mounting evidence of a completely incompetent and dangerous administration, why aren’t the supposedly ‘morally superior’ Republicans removing the orange haired man child from office? Like we’ve said in previous posts, the Trump administration is doing exactly what the Republican’s corporate overlords want him to do; provide daily distractions in the media while the Republican corporate lackeys in the Senate, House and the courts systematically dismantle laws and regulations therefore enabling the corporate oligarchy to reap enormous wealth in the process. If that means breaking the law, then so be it. The Republican party is no longer a party; their actions indicate they are now a crime syndicate worthy of praise from the Godfather himself.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they're a crime syndicate.

With so many indictments of Donald Trump’s associates, twenty-first century Republicans can no longer call themselves a party; they’re a crime syndicate.

 

The Ol’ “I Don’t Recall” Ploy

Once again, Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has broken out the ol’ tried and true “I don’t recall” ploy. We’ve commented before about his stonewalling. But recently, Sessions doubled down the tactic showing selective memory concerning meetings with the Russians. He stated that he had no recollection of the March 2016 meeting with George Papadopolous until he saw the news reports and then he suddenly remembered. So in short: Sessions said he could not remember much about Russian influence on the Trump campaign, except when he could block such influence.

One thing’s for sure: Sessions is sure doing conservative Republican icon, St. Ronald Reagan, proud. Whether it’s perjury or using the Department of Justice for political investigations or just out and out racism, Sessions is proving himself worthy of the greatest obstructionists in Republican history and considering the last seventy years: Allen Dulles’ CIA, Watergate, Iran Contra, the Iraq War, the Great Recession, etc… that’s saying something.

The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol' "I don't recall" ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.

The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol’ “I don’t recall” ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.

Stonewall Sessions

One of the more annoying characters in Donald Trump’s cavalcade of sycophants is Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. We’ve commented before about his racism and lying under oath. Well there was more deceit on display last week as our top justice did his best to obstruct justice.

During testimony last week in the investigation into the GOP’s ties with Russia during the 2016 election, Sessions stonewalled and did his best St. Ronald Reagan “I don’t recall” spiel. How did it go? Well, the Republicans, like always smirked their way through it, slapping themselves on the back at how cleverly they can deceive the American public, just like they’re doing with their healthcare plan.

But what’s bothersome is that our attorney general, who is supposed to be our top administrator of justice is obstructing justice at every turn. If he and Donald Trump did obstruct justice by firing James Comey, then that is grounds for impeachment. But Newt Gingrich already has a defense lined up. He stated this week that the President cannot possibly obstruct justice, even though he pursued Bill Clinton for two years because he lied about having sex. In a nutshell, it’s okay when Republicans obstruct justice and commit perjury and commit treason…ad infinitum.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, displays his gnat like memory while performing some Jackson-esque stonewalling.

Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, displays his gnat like memory while performing some truly Jackson-esque stonewalling.

Maverick Gibberish

As we mentioned last post, John McCain made a complete fool of himself in the testimony of James Comey. Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we feel it’s our responsibility to take him to task and ridicule him for the doddering fool he’s become. Honestly, how this befuddled old man won another term as Senator is beyond us.

First of all, McCain presented himself, after Trump got elected, to be the voice of reason in the GOP. After all, Trump said during the campaign that he liked soldiers that didn’t get captured, a hard slap in the face to the former POW. So McCain was none too happy about Trump becoming President where he himself failed in 2008.  But McCain is a stalwart authoritarian conservative. He and fellow ‘moderate’ Lindsay Graham, are pulling the good cop-bad cop routine on the American press and public and unfortunately people are buying their bullshit. Remember, he did this to great effect back in 2004; so much so that people actually speculated that John Kerry might choose him as a running mate. He’s also convinced many people that he’s a ‘maverick’ despite his stodgy, conservative stance on just about everything. So he’s an expert at manipulating the media, just like many of the Republicans are.

McCain has said to the press that he is very worried about Trump’s possible ties to Russia. And then when is comes time to shine at James Comey’s hearing, he acts like the goofy old prospector we like to portray him as in our photo-toons. Then he turns around and says Obama was a better leader than Trump and then two days later denies he said it, which makes him look even more confused. The only thing John McCain has convinced us of is that he’s nothing but a partisan tool, but then again we realized that back in 2004. Can we trust John McCain to put country before party? In a simple, prospector-esque word: NOPE! 

During last week's Senate testimony hearing, Arizona’s Senior Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, babbles incoherently in old prospector gibberish while James Comey replies in 1950s boy scout gibberish.

During last week’s Senate testimony hearing, Arizona’s Senior Senator and crusty old coot, John McCain, babbles incoherently in old prospector gibberish while James Comey replies in 1950s boy scout gibberish.

Shades Of Nixon

In a stunning move Tuesday, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, fired FBI Director and man who got him elected, James Comey. This coming just days after Comey asked for more resources to investigate Trump’s connections to Russia. Wow! This smacks of Watergate, when Richard Nixon fired special prosecutor Archibald Cox in what came to be known as the Saturday Night Massacre. Donald Trump’s move is more like an authoritarian tyrant in a dictatorship than a President in a democracy.

But what’s really absurd about this is that Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, despite his recusal from the Russia ties investigation, suggested the firing supposedly because of the way Comey handled the Hillary Clinton email investigation. So now the Republicans are appalled that the FBI was so mean to Hillary (despite Trump leading chants of ‘Lock Her Up’ during the entire campaign). Or is it that they failed to plant evidence which would say she’s guilty, like the Republicans want. This is stinking worse than the stockyards during a heat wave. Better get out your waders, folks; the bullshit being shoveled by the Republicans is going to get taller than James Comey.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, fires FBI director and one tall dude, James Comey, for his mishandling of the Hillary Clinton investigation, and not because Comey was close to exposing evidence about Trump's collusion with Russia during the 2016 election.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, fires FBI director and one tall dude, James Comey, for his mishandling of the Hillary Clinton investigation, and not because Comey was close to exposing evidence about  Trump’s collusion with Russia during the 2016 election.

 

Trump’s Lapdog In The Dog House

In a stunning reversal of fortune, California Republican representative Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, recused himself as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation into the Trump administration’s ties with Russia during the 2016 election.

Nunes has received much criticism from Democrats and moderate Republicans for appearing to be CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s lapdog. In the past couple of weeks, Fido has gone out of his way to make sure Donald Trump knew what was going on during the proceedings, which is a huge violation of House rules, federal law and ethics. But hey…when has that stopped the Republicans before. He is now under investigation for possibly disclosing classified information. Fido’s colleague, Rep. Ted Yoho, even said in defense of his friend, “Nunes is a man of high integrity and character”. Then he went on to say “You gotta keep in mind who he works for. He works for the president. He answers to the president.” No. No he doesn’t. Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes works for the constituents of the 22nd congressional district in California, not the President. He should put the people’s interest first since this is…you know…A DEMOCRACY.

Yep, Fido Nunes has been a good boy for his authoritarian master. We have no doubt he’ll be rewarded for his service like the good little lapdog he is.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin 'Fido' Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, lavishes praise upon his lapdog, Devin ‘Fido’ Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee for breaking federal and ethical laws to keep him informed of anything bad the FBI is saying about him.