Tag Archive for mueller

Wagging The Rapture Dog

The news is out that the Democrats are pushing for Robert Mueller to testify before Congress and the Trump administration and Republicans are not happy about that. Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell tried using Jedi mind tricks in the Senate by repeatedly uttering “Case closed….Case closed.” And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and delusional man child, Donald Trump, continued his pathological prevaricating on Twitter and on his right wing echo chamber Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. But there were some other disturbing developments on the international front that show that the Republicans might take an insane, catastrophic step in order to protect Trump from the fallout of Mueller testifying.

The United States has sent warships to the Gulf of Hormuz in response to ‘troubling’ actions by Iranians. National Security Advisor, war hawk and failed walrus impersonator John Bolton, has been beating the drums for war with Iran since the days of the Iraq War clusterf*ck, which Bolton still thinks was the right call. Now the delusional Bolton thinks starting another war in the Middle East would be another smashing idea and we’re sure the defense corporations are champing at the bit for a new avenue for profit. Therefore, Bolton and Trump are trying to create a Gulf of Tonkin incident so they can start a war with Iran.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo also seems to be supporting the idea of war with Iran but for a different reason. Pompeo is one of those looniest of loony evangelical christians called a rapturist. In the warped mind of these nutbags, the end times are a-coming which means that all good christians will be slurped up to heaven while the rest of us ‘heathens’ will be left to toil on Earth. One of the pre-cursors for the end times, according to ‘biblical scripture’, is that Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel, which Donald Trump did last year. Now, according to the end times mythology, a great war will occur and Jesus Christ will come again which will facilitate the ‘rapture’. Many prominent Republicans are rapturists including Pompeo, VP Puritan Mike Pence, former Teabagger darling Sarah ‘Ubetcha’ Palin, former Attorney Confederate General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, housing secretary Ben ‘Mr. Sandman’ Carson and energy secretary and brain fart expert Rick Perry. So, with a normal, logical, reasonable Secretary of State, war is usually and wisely avoided. But with this evangelical loon, conditions are being forced that would result in a catastrophic conflict in the Middle East. This would mean that biblical prophecy would be ‘proven’ correct and all the ‘good people’ (christians) will get their just desserts in heaven and all the bad people (the rest of us) will suffer in lakes of fire here on Earth.

Of course, these wack jobs fail to consider that the people who wrote the bible lived two thousand years ago and didn’t know jack about the Earth or the universe. We’ve mentioned before that religious people connect to a tiny bronze age database while scientific people connect to a colossal, 21st century database chock full of knowledge. We’ve gained so much knowledge about everything in the last four hundred years. To ignore science, scientific inquiry and scientific methods is sheer lunacy and any person advocating radical ideology based on two thousand year old babble shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the corridors of power in this country. We guarantee to all those rapture loonies that unless you’re vaporized by a nuclear blast you’ll still be here left to toil on the Earth with the rest of us.

To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to 'wag the dog' with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.
To distract from the possible testifying of Robet Mueller before Congress, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has decided to ‘wag the dog’ with multiple wars much to the delight of National Security Advisor and war monger extraordinaire John Bolton and Secretary of State and Rapture aficionado Mike Pompeo.

Rod In The Headlights

The mask has been removed from Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein and as it turns out, it doesn’t seem that he’s not all that committed to rule of law as his title may imply. Many details have come to light about how Rosenstein had to walk a political tightrope to mollify our petulant, man child CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump. And he even became angry at the press for treating Trump unfairly. Oh, boo-hoo! You’re supposed to uphold the law and instead you let Trump piss all over the constitution. As one ex-DOJ critic summarized, Rosenstein was weak. “He shouldn’t be talking to the president about an investigation into the president under any circumstances and he shouldn’t be giving him assurances about how that investigation will end and he especially shouldn’t be doing it at a time when he’s begging and pleading for his own job… The way to understand Rod is he’s weak, and he’s always been weak. He was weak at the beginning of this investigation when he signed off on the Comey firing and gave the president the excuse, despite––we now know, having read the Mueller report––that he knew why the president was firing Comey, that it was over the Russia investigation.”

We here at the Bucket noticed Mr. Rosenstein’s stone face demeanor at Bill Barr’s pre-Mueller report release con job party where the Republican obfuscator attempted Jedi mind-tricks on the American people. And we wondered to ourselves, is that Rod Rosenstein or a deer in the headlights? Many people have speculated about the thoughts running through his head as Barr misled the public. We think he was saying, “Oh oh…now everyone knows that I’m just a pro-Trump stooge.” We’re looking forward to your retirement, Mr. Rosenstein! We have no doubt you’ll get a comfy position at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network.

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein bears a striking resemblance to a deer in the headlights especially during Bill Barr's deceptive press conference before the release of the Mueller report where he seems to be thinking "Oh oh...now everyone knows that I'm just a pro-Trump stooge."
Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein bears a striking resemblance to a deer in the headlights especially during Bill Barr’s deceptive press conference before the release of the Mueller report where he seems to be thinking, “Oh oh…now everyone knows that I’m just a pro-Trump stooge.”

Handy Dandy Redaction Guide

The redacted version of the Mueller report has been released and boy is it a doozy. While Attorney General and Republican obfuscator Bill Barr has erroneously touted that the report ‘clears’ American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump of collusion and obstruction, just reading the unredacted portions paints a decisively different picture of what happened. And if the redacted report paints a damning picture of Trump can you imagine what the complete report says?

According to this article at Vox, 7.25% of the report has been redacted. After downloading and scanning through the report, we’ve come up with a handy dandy redaction guide to try and translate what the most common redaction phrase ‘Harm to Ongoing Matter'(HOM) means to the average American. The acronym appears repeatedly throughout the document, especially in Volume I dealing with the Russian conspiracy to sway the 2016 election toward Donald Trump and from what we can gather it translates to ‘Donald Trump is guilty as hell.” Why else was his initial reaction to the appointment of the special consul, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m f*cked.” Would an innocent man say that?

In Volume II of the report, Robert Mueller cited ten cases where obstruction of justice could be applied to Trump. Why did he not just come out and say he obstructed justice? According to the Department of Justice, you can’t indict a sitting president. So basically, Mueller set up the pins on a narrow lane and gave the Democrats a bowling ball the size of a beach ball so they could mow down our corrupt, megalomaniac leader. But, in true Democratic fashion, Democrat leaders are already talking about not pursuing impeachment and concentrating on the 2020 election. You know the Republicans wouldn’t hesitate to impeach if the situation was reversed. They did so with Bill Clinton twenty years ago on much lesser charges.

So lets briefly review the low-lights of the Republican party in the last 50 years: Nixon knows about the Watergate break-ins and attempts to cover them up, Gerald Ford pardons him; the Reagan administration sold arms for hostages in the Iran-Contra affair, G.H.W. Bush and Bill Barr issue pardons for those involved; Dubya and Dick Cheney knowingly deceive America about false WMDs in Iraq prompting an invasion which cost millions of lives, trillions of dollars and destabilizes the whole region and Democrats do nothing. Donald Trump obstructs justice and continuously pisses on the rule of law and Democrats are seriously considering doing nothing…again. In short: Republicans repeatedly screw the country and repeatedly get away with it. Is it any wonder this country is so botched up and people have no faith in our democratic institutions any more.

Hopefully the Democrats will grow a spine, put justice first and impeach this lying, manipulative, con artist before he does further damage to the White House, the rule of law and the prestige of the United States. But then again, the Democrats have an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

According to the handy dandy guide for reading the redactions of the Mueller report, the phrase 'Harm to Ongoing Matter' translates to 'Proof that Donald Trump is Guilty as Hell'.
According to the handy dandy guide for reading the redactions of the Mueller report, the phrase ‘Harm to Ongoing Matter’ translates to ‘Proof that Donald Trump is Guilty as Hell’.

Trump’s Troll

Wow! Attorney General Bill “Low” Barr is turning out to be quite a Republican troll isn’t he. This past week America’s CEO/Dictator’s personally picked obfuscator and Republican cover-up artist testified before Congress that the full Mueller report will be released within a week but with redactions. This flies in the face of public opinion since a full seventy-five percent of Americans want the full Mueller report released without redactions. And just for giggles, Low Barr alleged during the 2016 elections that the Trump campaign was spied on by federal officials in the Obama administration despite providing no evidence whatsoever.

So what can we conclude from his testimony? That America’s Attorney General is quite a trolling con artist and not as just and proper as his supporters claim he is. The Mueller report lasted 2 years and cost the taxpayers almost 5 million dollars. So you no what? Americans have a right to see every bit of that report. We paid for it, we get to see every sentence, every word and every period…NO REDACTIONS!!!

We here at the Bucket also noticed that the corpulent Attorney General bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon troublemaker Peter Griffin from the animated sitcom Family Guy. But don’t worry folks: Bill Barr is only trolling America for fun and profit – heh-heh-heh-heh.

Attorney General, Trump obfuscator and corpulent Republican troll, Bill Barr, bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon numbskull Peter Griffin from Family Guy and has even developed his own Griffin-esque catchphrase: “Heh-heh-heh-heh - I'm trolling America for fun and profit.”
Attorney General, Trump obfuscator and corpulent Republican troll, Bill Barr, bears a striking resemblance to portly, cartoon numbskull Peter Griffin from Family Guy and has even developed his own Griffin-esque catchphrase: “Heh-heh-heh-heh – I’m trolling America for fun and profit.”

The Indictment Score: Benghazi 0, Mueller 37

The fallout from the release of the Mueller report (or should we say, Bill Barr’s Cliff’s notes of the Mueller report) continues and more and more questions have arisen. The majority of Americans want the entire report released, not the redacted ‘yada, yada, yada’ version offered by Attorney General and Republican obfuscator Bill Barr. The ‘journalists’ at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, have been screaming their heads off about how other ‘fake news’ media should be apologizing for their treatment of the president. And of course, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been his usual obnoxious self, proclaiming that everyone who said that there was collusion, especially the MSM or the ‘enemy of the people’, be fired or worse. Furthermore, the fine, right wing propagandists at Fox are clamoring for retaliatory investigations directed at Trump’s enemies.

As usual, conservative Republicans have a very short memory. Did they forget already about the Benghazi hearings which lasted two years and produced zero indictments; the very definition of a witch hunt. And conservative Republicans never apologized once for their treatment of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama for that matter. Like we said on our previous post, the Mueller investigation was hardly a ‘witch hunt’ as it produced 37 indictments.  Because Barr has been so secretive about the report, of course the public is wondering what it really says, especially when even in Barr’s summary ‘fer idjits’  – “While this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” – , Trump clearly wasn’t exonerated on the charge of obstruction of justice, which was the most likely offense that would have resulted from the investigation anyway.

So, in a nutshell: Benghazi, 2 years – 0 indictments; Mueller investigation, 2 years – 37 indictments.

Republicans can STFU!!! 

The indictment scoreboard: Benghazi investigation - 0; Mueller 'witch hunt' investigation - 37.

The indictment scoreboard: Benghazi investigation – 0; Mueller ‘witch hunt’ investigation – 37.

America. Got. Played.

Well, the big news this past weekend was the release of the Mueller report. And the news was…disappointing to say the least. We here at the Bucket, like the rest of America, bought into the narrative pushed by the corporate main stream media that Robert Mueller was this grand bastion of unimpeachable integrity. He did produce 37 indictments(34 people, 3 companies) including six former Trump advisers. This and the evidence provided by the media painted a pretty convincing picture that showed Trump and his associates did something wrong. Why did he and his subordinates lie constantly about their Russian connections if they were so innocent? Why has Trump never criticized Putin and has just about glorified him every chance he gets? Trump threatened Comey repeatedly in his tweets and claimed in videos that he fired James Comey because he didn’t want to be investigated about Russia. How many countless times did Trump threaten to end the Mueller investigation?  But after two years, Mueller claims he didn’t have enough evidence of obstruction of justice but couldn’t exonerate him either. America witnessed the obstruction of justice first hand! What a bunch of bullshit!

Now Bill Barr claims that “there’s nothing to see here, folks” despite two years of investigation and 37 indictments and that we should just trust his biased opinion. Let’s face it folks, Bill Barr is nothing but a Republican hatchet man and crime obfuscator. He was brought in to kill the investigation like he did with Iran/Contra and that’s what he’s trying to do right now.  America is for the people, by the people. If the FBI spent two years of the tax payers money running an investigation, then the American people have a right to see ALL of that report. Remember, how the Republicans pulled a Benghazi witch hunt on Hillary Clinton for two years and the result was zero indictments, no evidence of wrongdoing. And Republicans cried and used Benghazi to slander Clinton and Obama to win the 2014 midterms and 2016 elections. But the Mueller investigation wasn’t a witch hunt, because there has been – let us repeat – 37 indictments including several people closely associated with Donald Trump. Stephen Colbert did a brilliant assessment Monday night. Trump is still under investigation for a boatload of other things and despite Trump’s gloating, he is far from the innocent victim he proclaims himself to be.

Now, because the corporate main stream media has given constant coverage of Donald Trump and the Mueller report and all things Republican for the last three years (hell… the last twenty years), the orange haired man child just may win re-election in 2020. It’s now plainly obvious the fix has been in for the last three years. America got played! And now with Trump supposedly ‘cleared of any wrongdoing’, his knuckle dragging, racist, right wing authoritarian loving supporters will become even more emboldened. We’ve been waiting for Trump militias to form and now maybe they will with the help of Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. Trump certainly indicated that recently with his mention that his supporters may have to get tough with Democrats. We’ve learned many things about Trump since his rise to national prominence the last twenty years and especially since he’s become president and one of the most glaring is that if you give him an inch, he will take a hundred miles.

This whole affair stinks to high heaven. We’ve lost a little respect for Mr. Mueller and have completely lost faith in the American justice system. One thing is for sure: the leadership in this country is jam packed with wealthy, white, entitled good ol’ boys who want to stay in power no matter what and they’ll do anything to preserve their hegemony. It’s all bullshit. The media, the plutocrats, the Republicans and even some of the Democrats are playing the American people for fun and profit. They don’t give a shit about real Americans, the people of the 99%.

So what should we do? Keep on fighting. It’s springtime so that means there will be good weather ahead. Maybe groups of Americans can march peacefully on Washington repeatedly over the next six months and remind these blowhards what by the people, for the people really means.

America's CEO/Dictator and 'completely exonerated' Donald Trump proudly proclaims his godliness to the masses while Attorney General and Republican crime obfuscator Bill Barr and former defender of democracy Robert Mueller passively look on.

America’s CEO/Dictator and ‘completely exonerated’ Donald Trump proudly proclaims his godliness to the masses while Attorney General and Republican crime obfuscator Bill Barr and former defender of democracy Robert Mueller passively look on.

The Singing Rat

The big news the past week was the explosive testimony given by Michael Cohen, the former personal lawyer and ‘fixer’ for American CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump.  In a hearing before the House Oversight committee, the rat Michael Cohen sang like a canary much to the chagrin of the House Republicans like Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows and Paul Gosar, who made absolute asses of themselves during the ‘interrogation’. They never questioned him but chose, in typical Republican fashion, only to assassinate his character, which we’ve all already surmised is abysmal. Even Cohen admitted he was a fool. The GOP logic: “You can’t trust a liar”.  The Republicans are also considerably irony impaired considering Cohen was the RNC’s deputy finance chairman up until eight months ago. Oh yeah…and then there’s the fact that Trump’s lie count is over 9,000.

One colossal buffoon was GOP Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, who said Cohen was testifying against Trump only because he had ‘sour grapes’ for not getting a White House job. Then Jordan pulled another typical Republican prank of trying to twist Cohen’s words, which caused Cohen to reply, “Shame on you, Mr. Jordan.” This is the same Jim Jordan, who kept quiet about alleged sexual abuse at Ohio State. So, Jordan is certainly not someone who should throw stones.

Another mammoth idiot was Arizona’s own Paul Gosar, who embarrassingly resorted to playground taunts of “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” and even had a poster with the same next to him at the hearing to which Cohen responded to Gosar, “Are you referring to me or the President?” Gosar  is famous for having six of his siblings take out an ad to vote against their brother in Arizona’s 4th district election in 2018. The fact that Gosar still won speaks more to the conservative loons in the 4th district who put this nutbag back into office. Maybe Gosar and Trump can retire and hang out at a grade school playground where they can ply their bullying tactics and be undisputed ‘kings’.

So what’s next for Michael Cohen besides much deserved jail time? How about a thrilling crime drama about an everyday goombah for a national criminal organization who turns state evidence against his crooked boss called ‘The Singing Rat’, rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

The Singing Rat: Michael Cohen is just your everyday goombah who also happens to be the fixer for Republican crime boss Donald Trump. When G-Man Robert Mueller catches Cohen covering up an illicit affair with a hooker for Trump, the rat sings like a canary. Rated T for Trumptastic.

Stoney The Pinhead

Roger Stone has been plastered all over the news lately as the FBI raided his house last week and arrested the Trump crony and confidant in connection with lying about pursuing Russian hacked emails related with Hillary Clinton during the 2016 presidential election. Predictably, now Stone has been making the rounds whining about what a victim he is. A judge has even suggested a gag order to shut him up.

Stone is one weird, weird individual. He describes himself as an ‘agent provocateur’If anybody calls themselves an ‘agent provocateur’, run; run away fast – because that person is a colossal douchebag. Stone also has a tattoo of one of the most corrupt politicians of all time, Richard Nixon, on his back. Because of his admiration of Nixon, he proudly calls himself a ‘dirty trickster’, which may now get him in hot water with the Mueller investigation. Many jokes have been made about his attire, which transform him into some bizarre steampunk Batman villain.

But what made our jaws drop was the recent visage of Stone in profile. Now, we understand why he wears all those stupid hats. The Nixon fanboy’s skull is shaped like a traffic cone. He possesses the sloping forehead of a mythical caveman. Then it dawned on us who he really looked like; classic comic strip icon, Zippy the Pinhead, drawn by Bill Griffith. Googling ‘Roger Stone Zippy the Pinhead’, we found we weren’t the first to notice the similarity. But Holy Shit…look at that head shape! Considering that Stone is a human and Zippy is a cartoon, the resemblance is remarkable! Isn’t it interesting that the main stream corporate media never shows Stone in profile and always from the front or with his cone noggin covered with his goofy hats.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Trump crony, Nixon aficionado and self described agent provocateur (translation: asshole), Roger Stone bears a striking resemblance to another coneheaded being, classic comic strip icon Zippy the Pinhead.

Day Of The Long Knives

The results from the 2018 midterm elections are still trickling in and they look very favorably for the Democrats, a lot better than main stream media outlets are proclaiming them to be. Here in Arizona, Democrat Kyrsten Sinema has been declared the winner of the Senate seat vacated by Republican Jeff Flake. If the Dems can win the Senate election in Florida (the chance of them winning the run-off election in Mississippi are slim to none), then the net Republican pickup is only one seat. Not only that, Democrats had gains in almost every Rust Belt state that went to Trump in 2016 and it’s looking like they could end up with over 230 seats in the House.

As we pointed out in our last post, Trump is rattled. He knows that with the Democrats gaining control of the House, investigations of his shadowy election maneuverings and his secretive finances will be brought to the forefront. So, in an authoritarian move reminiscent of Germany’s ‘Night of the Long Knives’ (without the bloodshed) or more recently, Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre, he fired Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.  John Dean, a veteran of those heady Watergate days, even stated that Trump’s move seems like a planned murder. Trump has replaced Sessions with a shady, sycophantic automaton, Matthew Whitaker, who has openly admitted that Robert Mueller’s investigation should be shut down. Most people inside and outside of the Justice Department proclaim Whitaker to be a ‘f*cking fool’. Trump is acting like a cornered rat, so he’s sicking his fascist meat robot to do his dirty work and eliminate Mueller before any incriminating information is released to the public.

But it looks like Mueller is close to wrapping up his investigation. Donald Trump Jr. has already indicated that he thinks he’ll probably be indicted. As the Atlantic pointed out, it’s probably too late to stop Mueller. Could this be the beginning of the end for Trumpty Dumpty? Excuse our skepticism, but we’ve been hearing that for a year and a half now. Trump is unhinged and his acolytes have shown repeatedly that they prefer party power over democracy and justice. We don’t doubt that the GOP will do anything and everything to obstruct, obfuscate and deceive the American public like they’ve been doing for the last two years…hell…the last fifty years. Buckle up, folks! Things are going to get very interesting.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump has decided to eliminate his Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and replace him with his lackey meat robot, Fascismo, a.k.a. Matthew Whitaker.

The Untouchables: 2018

Paul Manafort is the latest former associate of Donald Trump to flip and it has many speculating as to whether this is the beginning of the end for the orange haired man child who is America’s CEO/Dictator. Most people agree that things aren’t looking good for Trump, but then again things have never looked good for the Donald during his entire disastrous presidency and yet he is still — unfrickingbelievably — president.

This whole clusterf*cked trauma brings to mind for us old farts here at the Bucket, the early 1960s crime drama The Untouchables starring Robert Stack as Eliot Ness, which has been constantly played in syndication on TV for the last fifty years. In the episodes, Ness and his band of incorruptible G-men pursued noted criminal gangsters like Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti and the kingpin, Al Capone.  The lead-in and ending graphic for the show was very stylistic and combined with the iconic theme music, set the mood perfectly for the drama. We can just imagine a possible reality reboot of the show with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid team of FBI agents as they descend on Trump Tower to bring to justice members of the Republican crime syndicate like Manafort, Michael Cohen and of course, the dear leader, the real Alphonse Capone of the 21st century, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.