Tag Archive for environment

Trump’s Law Of Scientific Truth

A disturbing trend emerged from Con-a-thon 2016 that is already becoming the Orwellian standard for the Trump Adminstration: facts don’t matter and the truth is what Donald Trump says it is.

In his first week, he’s already done several things that are threatening democracy. But probably the most dangerous is the shutdown of the scientists at the Environmental Protection Agency. We’re big fans of science, logic and reason here at the Bucket and we find these actions frightening. Apparently, from now on, CEO/Dictator Trump, who knows nothing about science, will be deciding what science is good and bad. Of course, if his pals in the oil, coal and gas energies are affected adversely, like in the case of climate change, the science is bad and will be stifled.

Scientists have already started rebelling. They’ve planned a March for Science in the near future. We’ve placed a link for it on the right side of the page. They’re also saving the volumes of data collected before Trump burns it in the name of corporate fascism.

Welcome to Fascism, America! It is happening here!

CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, in front of the redecorated Trump White House, proclaims that the truth is what he says it is and that some inconvenient laws of science, such as gravity, don't actually exist, much to the delight of Trump acolytes everywhere.

CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, in front of the redecorated Trump White House, proclaims that the truth is what he says it is and that some inconvenient laws of science, such as gravity, don’t actually exist, much to the delight of Trump acolytes everywhere.

AZ’s Education Fraud

Continuing our review of lame AZ public figures and issues…

A special election is coming up here in Arizona on May 17,2016 that deals with the funding of Arizona’s woeful education system. This article at DailyKos explains the issue better than we could. The Republicans is this state have been trying since forever to release all that public land so private interests(land developers) can make money on it. So it’s perfectly natural that privatization fans, a.k.a. Republicans hold Arizona’s children as hostage – “fork over your precious land or the kids get it!” The answer to a better education is solved by increasing the corporate tax or just raising taxes. But corporate, business and private interests are of primary importance here in the land of the Republican wingnuts and taxes are a four letter word. Which is why corporate friendly tools, like Governor Ducey, are so actively trying to pull this fraud on Arizonans. Like the article at DailyKos says, it’s a bit dubious that all the slick, special, private, monied interests support Prop 123 and all the regular folks, who aren’t so richly backed, are saying nay. Just another day in the clusterf*cked state of Arizona politics. At least we’ve got beautiful scenery…er…ummm…maybe not for much longer. Happy Earth Day everyone?

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only 'reasonable' way to save Arizona's abysmal education system is to sell off the land to 'private interests' a.k.a. developers and industry.

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only ‘reasonable’ way to save Arizona’s abysmal education system is to sell off the land to ‘private interests’ a.k.a. developers and industry.

Rewind: Delightful Dubya Deceptions

We recently commented about the unbelievable poll that stated that more people viewed George W. Bush favorably now than President Obama, despite the fact that Obama has cleaned up the colossal mess that good ol’ Dubya made here and abroad. Here’s an article from our April 25, 2004 edition which may explain this phenomenon. It seems that people were actually comforted by the Bush Administration’s lies and deceptions.

Many Americans Comforted By Bush Administration Deceptions

According to recent polls, George W. Bush’s approval ratings have improved, despite revelations of deceptions and misinformation from the White House concerning the war in Iraq by Paul O’Neill, Richard Clarke, John Dean and Bob Woodward. The polls indicate that having a lying, deceitful president leading the country comforts many Americans.

Dwight Rodman of Festerville, Oklahoma, said, “That’s what Presidents do. Nixon lied about Watergate. Clinton lied about having sex with all those women. Now Bush has lied about WMDs in Iraq. It’s just the American way. Now if someone told the truth, then I’d worry.”

Mabel Ellis of Port Drudgery, New Jersey, said, “At least President Bush doesn’t have sex with nubile young interns. I can live with a multi-billion dollar war from which we have no clear cut way of exiting and will put us in excruciating debt for years to come. But having sex is something I will not tolerate.”

Theodore M. Farnsworth IV of Crudopolis, Texas, said, “I’m the CEO of a major energy corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the environmental damage I’m doing by fracking. Four more years!”

Byron G. Caldwell of Big Spud, Idaho, said, “I’m the CEO of a major logging corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the regulations that are being relaxed so I can plunder America’s forests. Four more years!”

Mildred Dunwiddy of Backwater, South Carolina, said, “Oh, its just a little white lie. Besides, I think the biggest problem this nation is facing is that slut Janet Jackson and her malfunctioning wardrobe.”

Phil Smoots of Gator Crossing, Florida, said, “How can America be worrying about a quagmire in Iraq, when people of the same sex are getting married? I just don’t get this country.”

Jerry Scheissner of Fuddsworth, Missouri, said, “If things are going so bad in Iraq, how come we don’t see any pictures of coffins? How ’bout that, smart guy!”

Rev. Aloysius T. Terry of Piggettstown, Mississippi, said, “I’m an evangelical minister and I say President Bush is leading us one step closer to Armageddon and the Rapture. Halleluiah!”

Grand Stupidity

From the Unfreakingbelievable file: it appears a goddamn, greedy mega-developer thinks the timeless grandeur of the Grand Canyon in Arizona is lacking. That’s obviously because there’s no Mega-mall there where you can shop ’til you drop! Yes, this colossal asswipe wants to place a mega-development at the edge of the Grand Canyon. We don’t know where to begin on describing how ludicrously stupid this is. Seriously, if you’re going to the Grand Canyon and you expect to find unlimited shopping opportunities, then you are a special kind of seriously f*cked up! Most people go the Grand Canyon to GET AWAY FROM development and enjoy nature and wildlife at its most basic. If they want cheezy, glitzy shopping opportunities then they go to Las Vegas.  Maybe these greedy, capitalist, dickhead developers can make a replica of the Grand Canyon in Las Vegas just like they did with Paris, New York and Egypt. Las Vegas is where this kind of stupidity belongs. When it comes to the Grand Canyon, we have just three words to say to developers: LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!

A noble, American hunter prepares to thin the herd of greedy, rapacious,  land developers, who want to develop the Grand Canyon.

A noble, American hunter prepares to thin the herd of greedy, rapacious, land developers.

GOP Sez ‘Science Evil’

The Senate just voted 98-1 that global warming is happening, as if nature needed human consensus that it was real. Of course, the anti-science Republicans aren’t admitting that humans are causing it. Here’s an article from our August 29, 2004 issue, where good ol’ Dubya explains why scientists are ‘evil’ and shouldn’t be trusted, but the saintly oil, mining, timber and energy companies deserve our complete trust.

Bush Dismisses ‘Evil’ Scientists

The Bush Administration deflected recent criticism from numerous preeminent scientists that the White House is distorting and manipulating scientific findings and giving handouts to industries, which have given massive monetary support to the President, like oil, mining, timber and energy companies.

Dr. Jared Reed, environmental biologist and member of the non-profit group, Union Of Concerned Scientists, said, “This administration is far worse than even the Reagan administration. They have rolled back over 300 regulations since Bush has taken over the Presidency. He has loaded the EPA with lobbyists from the mining, logging, and energy industries as payback for their support during the election. He is systematically blacklisting legitimate scientists in favor of consultants who manipulate and massage data to fit his radical ideological agenda. This blatant disregard for the environment and for the health of the general public needs to be stopped before it is too late.”

Bush defended his environmental policies. “People, I mean we all know that this so called ‘global warming’ is caused by cows farting and volcanoes. And this mumbo jumbo that our rivers and streams are polluted; didn’t you see John Stossel jump in the Hudson River. If it’s so polluted, how come he’s still alive? Stem cell research is evil, too. Scientists want to grow babies and then kill ’em folks. That’s just plain evil. Besides, I think I know a little bit more about the world than these smartsy fartsy liberal ‘scientists’. I mean I am the president and I talk to God on a daily basis. We don’t need any more ‘scientific’ studies. If I were doing something wrong here, don’t you think God would say something.”

Vice President Dick Cheney backed Bush’s views. “Our public land is vast and it’s there for Americans to use and exploit. Those damn animals aren’t using it. Why should they have it? Like the great James Watt said, God wants us to subdue nature. I’ll be damned if some fish or butterfly is going to prevent me from making my millions.”

Many citizens have expressed support for Bush’s environmental policies. Lionel Starker of Pusbucket, Arkansas, said, “Me more smart than animal. Me more smart than plant. Me think Bush smart. Me vote Bush.”

Reverend Delbert Dillman of the Third Evangelical Church of The Apocalypse said, “Thanks to President Bush, the Apocalypse is now closer then ever. We need to hurry up and use all of God’s resources before the end of the world. Can I get an amen?”

Spill? What Spill?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia has finally been declared safe for drinking after a chemical spill into the Elk River from Freedom Industries on January 9th. This happened when an aging containment tank leaked MCHM, which is an agent used in processing coal, into the Elk River above the water intake for the company which provides water service for the area. It appears that this facility hadn’t been inspected by federal or state officials since 1991. It was also just determined that another chemical called PPH was also leaked into the water. Of course, since the government is controlled by the oil, gas and coal industries, it’s not surprising that Washington is using the  “there’s nothing to see here” approach to damage control (remember the BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill a few years back). John Boehner said no new regulations are needed and all the other corporate lackeys in Washington are keeping mum as well. But this shouldn’t be surprising since our elected officials, especially Republicans, have been trying to reduce regulations and oversight since the Reagan administration. Dubya even put industry officials in key positions in the EPA. That’s like putting the mouse in charge of the cheese. Next industry officials will be trying to spin that MCHM and PPH are good for you. It’s smells like licorice, how bad can it be, right?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia tastes a lot like Freedom these days thanks to the coal industry.

A coal industry representative performs damage control with the citizens of Charleston, West Virginia after a chemical spill from an aging Freedom Industries tank leaked into the local water supply.

Top Republican Suggestions For Better Conservation

The St. Ronald Reagan Institute For Real Science has recently released a new and improved guide to conservation, Republican style, called “Neoconservation”. The BilgeBucket Gazette presents to you some of the suggestions and fascinating findings stated in the report.

  • Go out and buy a Hummer. NOW!
  • Support your local utility company. Leave the lights on.
  • Smog is good for you. Trees cause pollution. Go cut down a tree.
  • Extinction is perfectly natural. The polar bear’s gonna die out eventually anyway.
  • Crude oil is a necessary part of a caribou’s diet.
  • Global warming is good for the planet and the economy. Just think of all the land in Antarctica that can be developed if the ice caps melt.
  • Less ozone means better suntans.
  • It’s our God given right as Americans to drill for and use every drop of oil on the planet.
  • America has plenty of mountains. We can spare two, three or fifty for mining.
  • Acid rain scrubs your body clean.
  • Factories are our friends. Go hug a smokestack.

RNC 2004: Turning The Corner

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Remember when ol’ Dubya yanked our chain by always saying “We’re turning the corner on…<fill in the blank>”. Whether it was the deficit, the war in Iraq, economic recovery, cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina, coming out of the housing market collapse, etc… We were always turning the corner. America turned the corner so many times we kept going in circles in a downward spiral for the next four years.

President Bush and his wife Laura point toward the corner America is turning. Appearing on stage with Bush are his old friends, the Deficit, the Iraq Occupation, and Environmental Destruction.

Conservatives Without Conservation

We read an article online ranking the worst environmental presidents in history and to no one’s surprise, ol’ Dubya ranked as the worst. And not surprisingly, many Republican presidents were equally as bad (St. Ronald Reagan was 2nd). There’s not a lot of conservation in today’s conservative. Why can’t more Republicans see the environment like Teddy Roosevelt did: something to be preserved for future generations to enjoy. Oh that’s right: there’s money to be made.

Here’s an article from our August 14, 2003 issue, back when Dubya was in favor of corporate sponsorship of our National Parks. Talk about putting the wolves in the sheep pen.

Exxon-Mobil To Sponsor Yellowstone Park

As part of President Bush’s plan to outsource federal jobs to the private sector, Yellowstone National Park will now be sponsored by Exxon-Mobil.

“We are very pleased with this development,” said President Bush. “This will cut federal costs and will result in the park running more efficiently.” He paused and then added, “Oh and we’ll also get to drill for more Texas tea.”

Exxon-Mobil spokesman, Walter B. Jamieson said, “This will be the greatest park in the world. We’ll put in some roller coasters, five star hotels, and world class shopping. Of course, the wildlife will be perfectly preserved. They’ll be placed in zoos. And get this, the kids will get to pet, feed and kill their own buffaloes. What a deal!”

Yellowstone visitor, eight year old, Kimmy Taylor was excited about the new park. “This park is so boring now. I can’t wait to ride the new rides, play arcade games and plug a buffalo.”

Exxon-Mobil employees will be stationed throughout the park, guiding tourists to shopping, pointing out old points of interest and explaining why privatization of national parks is a good, necessary, patriotic thing to do.

Park officials also plan to open up drill sites to tourists so they can see a good old fashioned oil strike. “If you think Ol’ Faithful was something,” said Jamieson. “Wait until you get a load of a gusher spurting that beautiful black gold into the air. Oh God! Oh God!!! What a sight!!!!” Jamieson then excused himself and went to the bathroom to masturbate.

Other proposed corporate sponsorships include: Georgia-Pacific Redwood National Park, Texaco Zion National Park, and Phelps Dodge Grand Canyon National Park.

The Earth Speaks

To commemorate Earth Day, here’s a photo-toon from our July 25, 2006 issue. One can substitute the perpetual conflict in the Middle East with environmental pollution, species annihilation, excessive consumerism and human overpopulation but the conclusion is the same: humans are systematically destroying the only planet we know of that supports life, spaceship Earth. Take care of the planet.

The space station astronauts took this rare photo of the Earth commenting on the latest violent conflict to erupt in the Middle East.