Lotsa Luck, America!

America’s CEO/Dictator, twice impeached convicted felon and pathological lying man child Donald Trump is preparing his cabinet o’ clowns for his coronation as dictator in just a couple of days. We’re just a small time satire site. The thought of four more years of this doofus making stupid statements on an hourly basis is mind numbing to us here at the Bucket and we just can’t take four more years of this crap. They say stupidity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. We’ve done the Trump thing before and he was a catastrophe for our country and yet here we are again, just like in 2017 with the GOP controlling everything. There are many who are saying that Trump and the Republicans broke satire. Unfortunately, we think that’s a fairly accurate assessment. Ever since Dubya’s administration we’ve been joking about how far the GOP has drifted into fascist oligarchy territory and the conservatives have taken it as a hold my beer challenge. This is what they’ve always wanted; unquestioned authoritarian hegemony of the United States. But they couldn’t have done it without the help of corporate America, the plutocrats and the evangelical christians, an unholy alliance we’ve called the Holy Corporate Empire. Think about it, folks. Who doesn’t have to pay taxes in this country? The top 1%ers, top corporations and the church. They have all the money and power and no accountability or responsibility, which is what paying taxes is all about when you get down to brass tacks. Under Trump, the oligarchs will continue to get richer and the sanctimonious, anti-science evangelical christians will get to shove their repressive archaic agendas and dogmas down everyone’s throat with the power of the government behind them. Think of these bullies as the American Taliban, because that’s exactly what they are.

We’d like to take a little bit of time to praise the efforts of current President Joe Biden. The conservative news media and propagandists have already kneecapped his accomplishments and Trump is already taking credit for his infrastructure bill. We have no doubt that Trump and the Republicans will trash Biden’s legacy, trying to do to him what Reagan and the GOP did to Jimmy Carter in the ’80s. We’ve talked about the historic legislative session from January 2021 to January 2023. Not since Lyndon Johnson’s first term has there been such a productive session. Compare that to the current GOP lead House, under self-proclaimed ‘Moses’ Mike Johnson, which has led the league in incompetence and yet somehow they’ve maintained control this past election – which was definitely not rigged (wink, wink). But Biden’s done some amazing things as President, certainly more than we thought he could when his presidency started. He deserves to be thanked. Most historians rank James K. Polk as the best one term President. We think the factually educated, objective historians will rank Biden right up there with Polk.

Which brings us back to the election and how the Democrats once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. We’ve consistently criticized the Dems for never attacking the Republicans and rolling over like submissive puppies every time the GOP conservatives raised their voices. This happened many times during Dubya’s administration. But they didn’t do that the past two elections and we think they were absolutely right to attack the Republicans. In our opinion, the Dems finally did everything right. So what went wrong? Forty years of Republican brainwashing propaganda in the corporate media is what went wrong. Reagan’s deregulation in the 1980’s and the continuation in Clinton’s and both Bushes demolished fair play in the media. The right wing propaganda machine rose in the late ’80s with radio hosts such as Rush Limbaugh at the forefront spreading propaganda that the media was ‘liberal’ and demonizing any one on the left. This after the news media fawned over the Gipper during the ’80s, especially after his assassination attempt in 1981. The right wing targeted the die hard religious conservatives in the Midwest and the South repeating the same mantra ‘the liberal media’ is evil. The Moral Majority under the leadership of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell repeated the diatribe with laser focus on Reagan’s old stomping grounds in Hollywood as proof positive that liberals controlled the media. Now there are different branches of the media, folks. There’s the sports media which isn’t political but definitely has a coastal bias. Sports pundits love to crow about the LA, Frisco, New York, Boston or Philadelphia teams, while midwestern teams (other than the current Chiefs) are usually ignored. The film and TV branch (especially late night talk shows) does have a liberal bias but there are many prominent Republicans in the movie making biz – Stallone, Willis, Norris, Woods, Voight, etc. If you think of all the shoot-em-ups and blood-fests over the last forty years, you’ll find gun loving conservative Republicans behind them. Then there’s the news media. We’ve commented repeatedly over the years about how the news media has a very conservative bias. If the news media had a liberal bias why did we only sparingly see Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders or any Democrat giving their opinion during the last four years. They were virtually non-existent. But we saw an overwhelming coverage of Trump, Cruz, Graham and the host of other dipstick Republicans like MTG(MTHead), Lauren Boobert and Matt Gaetz. Republicans complain about George Soros, but he’s outnumbered by tons of conservative tycoons like Rupert Murdoch, Sheldon Adelson, Leonard Leo, Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Timothy Mellon, Linda McMahon, etc. With the establishment of Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, in 1996, the conservatives could regularly spread their biased opinion masquerading as news to the masses. And now there’s been a proliferation of other prominent outlets like Newsmax and OAN that are vilifying anyone who leans even slightly to the left. Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton(who was a Goldwater girl) were not socialists; they were corporatists and all in for capitalistic endeavors – but that didn’t stop the right from labeling them as such. Of course they ignore the fact that Jesus taught socialism to his followers (you mean Jesus was a socialist? – shocking!).

There’s one thing that works with propaganda; repetition. The Nazis knew it and the modern day Republicans know it, too. Like we mentioned earlier, Limbaugh repeated it on a daily basis. Remember Dubya repeating 9/11 and the war on terror over and over and over again. The conservative christian sheeple ate it up because they are prone to following the leader, you know, the lord is my shepherd and I am but a sheep. Trump repeated the fearmongering, this time with illegal immigrants as the scapegoats and it worked like gangbusters again. But why did it work so well? Because the corporate news media is bought and paid for by rich conservatives like Murdoch and the Sinclair Group. Thanks to the Citizens United decision by the conservative Supreme Court, rich right wing people with money can buy all the politicians they want and spread whatever misinformation they want and not pay any consequences. The average Joe and Jane don’t stand a chance.

This brings us to the current economic system in place not only in America but it many other countries around the world – capitalism. We’ve commented before about how unregulated capitalism is nothing more than indirect cannibalism. That’s what’s happening in America. We’re not only killing each other we’re killing the planet, too – all for fun and profit. And who’s in the driver seat when it comes to capitalism; syndicates. We remember syndicates being to the boogeymen in a lot of ’60s and ’70s TV dramas. But they are real and there are several of them. There’s the military industrial syndicate (Ike called it a complex), the financial syndicate (stock market and investors), the energy syndicate(only fossil fuels need apply-screw the environment), the media syndicate(all major networks owned by just six companies), the insurance syndicate(price collusion on a massive scale), the political syndicate(only Democrats and Republicans need apply), the religious syndicate(this means christians), the transportation syndicate(only gas guzzling automobiles and trucks need apply-screw mass transit), the healthcare and pharmaceutical syndicate(death panels are already here, folks), the gambling syndicate(we can’t believe sports gambling is legal everywhere now), the sports syndicate(the biggest grift in America), the real estate syndicate(trying to make all public lands private), the software and technology syndicate(tracking people, their data and their money like it’s 1984-Big Brother is watching you) and some other less powerful entities – it’s basically all the investment sectors of the stock market. The commonality amongst all of them: making as much money as possible. That’s why we see all sorts of wheeling and dealing between all of these syndicates – it’s called business, folks. The most obvious connections are the ones between politicians, lobbyists and, with recent revelations, Supreme Court justices. Laws aren’t made on Capital Hill, they are made on K Street where the lobbyists from these syndicates offer sweet deals to make everyone rich at the expense of us poor suckers in the middle and lower classes and to hell with the environment. It’s become painfully obvious over the past forty years (especially the last twenty) that the Republicans and Democrats (the political syndicate) have been playing good cop/ bad cop with the American people. Thanks to deregulation by both Republicans and Democrats, the gap between the rich and poor have widened so much, that many historians are saying we’ve entered another Gilded Age, when plutocrats are worshipped as gods and, like Napoleon once said, the sheeple are kept from murdering the rich because of religion. Like we’ve said before, because of cannibalistic capitalism, we’ve become a nation of SEGUMUCAs: Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes. Thanks to our greedy capitalist leaders, we’ve become so desperate that we’ll do anything for a buck. Our greedy capitalist leaders have shamelessly pulled the Shock Doctrine on its own people. Instead of Americans helping other Americans, we’re screwing each other to the wall for fun and profit. And now even basic necessities are becoming too expensive. Yes, you could say that capitalism is the anti-christ. We think in the coming years we’ll be seeing a lot more people like Luigi Mangione trying to even the score with the uncaring, unsympathetic corporatists who are running the syndicates, this country and the world and turning everything into a cesspool. We the people have been had by the greedy corrupt capitalists. Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to get a lot uglier that it already is, folks.

We don’t want to say this is our last post ever. We reserve to right to post new material if we feel like it, so let’s call this a hiatus for an unspecified period of time. We’ve mostly had a blast making content these last twenty one years. If your check our archived posts, our satire and analysis has been mostly spot on. But our sanity just can’t take another four years of Trump and his troop of MAGAMorons. We’re already busting blood vessels with his inane Greenland and Canada drivel and he’s not even dictator yet. We’re old, retired Boomers. We don’t have much time left on this planet. We want to try and enjoy our final years without banging our heads on the wall every second and gulping down vials of antacid. After the Bush years, Trump and the pandemic we have zero faith in the this country’s institutions, zero faith in our corrupt judicial system, zero faith in our corrupt elected officials(Republicans or Democrats), zero faith in our corrupt financial system, zero faith in our corrupt healthcare, zero faith in our corrupt community leaders, zero faith in our corrupt education system, zero faith in our corrupt society, zero faith in our corrupt civilization and zero faith in humanity. We’re destroying each other and our home planet and our so called leaders won’t do anything to save it because it’s not cost effective. To all the people who voted Republican or didn’t vote at all (almost 90 million) and those who believe in putting profit over people and the environment – we’ll put this as politely as we can – SCREW YOU!!! To all our progressive and secular brethren, we wish you the best. Disconnect from social media sites like Facebook and Twitter(we refuse to call it by its new moniker), fact check everything the corporate media spews out of its vile mouth and don’t let the fascists gaslight you about Trump. As any educated historian will tell you, Trump is objectively awful. He’s a self-aggrandizing, petty, vindictive, greedy, egomaniacal, narcissistic, misogynistic, bigoted, bombastic, materialistic, callous, rude, deceitful, oppressive, pathological-lying, sociopathic bully. We all know it. Don’t let the greedy corporate media normalize him. Finally and most of all, take care of yourself. Feel free to check our archived posts if you want to get some chuckles from the stupidity of the first Trump term or the last twenty one years of GOP idiocy.

Lotsa luck, America – you’re going to need it!!!

Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.
Twice impeached convicted felon and megalomaniacal man child Donald Trump thanks his easily duped SEGUMUCA rubes for making him CEO/Dictator again as he prepares to ram Project 2025 down the throats of every American.

Republicans = Fascists

Several former Trump generals have made headlines recently speaking out against their former boss. Former TFG officials and former Trump Chief of Staff General John Kelly have come out and called Trump a fascist – which he is. Retired general and former Joint Chiefs chairman Mark Milley stated that Trump is “fascist to the core”. Former Defense Secretary Jim Mattis has called Trump the “most dangerous person ever”. Yes, that’s right, folks. Donald Trump is an absolute fascist. He openly admires Hitler and his generals and has used fascist talk when referring to immigrants, his political opponents and anyone who disagrees with him. TFG recently talked of taking retribution against the “enemies within” and yet the corporate media just yawns. Of course, we’ve been saying this since forever. Just peruse our posts from the past nine years. The fact that the Republican party is still defending Trump and have put forth Project 2025 is proof that they are fully on board the fascism train as well.

We’ve posted the following photo-toon meme a couple of times, on September 12, 2022 and originally on December 16,2015. We’re reposting it now because the situation hasn’t changed with the GOP since 2016 or the days of Dubya for that matter. They are still pursuing a christian nationalist corporatist authoritarian agenda – a Holy Corporate Empire or Corporate States of America if you will. The only difference is that the GOP are unabashedly out in the open supporting fascism now. Take a look at our handy dandy checklist and you can plainly see – Republicans are fascist to the core!

The Republican Party has some eerie similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany.

Rewind: Dubya Caesar

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Republicans’ embrace of authoritarianism over democracy is no longer in doubt with the recent GOP support of TFG even despite the overwhelming evidence presented in his four indictments, especially the federal case against him for the January 6th insurrection and attempted coup. Trump wants a fascist takeover of this country but so did his Republican predecessor, George W. Bush. Fortunately, for most Americans, the GOP is quite inept at governing so their attempts of hostile takeovers have failed . . . so far. But there were several events during the Bush administration where Dubya pushed to envelope in trying to become Dubya Caesar.

One incident was the firing of U.S, Attorneys in December 2006 which certainly appeared to be politically motivated. However, Bush explained away the dismissals by stating that  “U.S. Attorneys and others serve at the pleasure of the president .” Quite the authoritarian bent, don’t ya think? Bush even protested that Congress wanted to question his lackeys Karl Rove, Harriet Miers and Alberto Gonzales. Apparently, checks and balances aren’t appropriate when Republicans are in power. Hail Dubya Caesar!

Here’s an article about Bush’s defense of his dismissals, selected quote and lil’ Dub Toon from our March 29, 2007 edition.

Bush Defends Secret Testimonies

The recent dismissal of eight U.S. attorneys, apparently approved by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, has shocked many Americans. The Democratic controlled Congress is now asking questions about whether the dismissals were politically motivated given that they were in mid-term and not at the beginning, when most firings occur. In an effort to shed more light on the subject, Congress has asked President Bush’s advisors Karl Rove and Harriet Miers to testify under oath before Congress on the firings. However, Bush has been resistant to any Congressional demands.

President Bush, trying to recapture the glory of the Reagan years, said, “There they go again. The Democrats in Congress are just playing politics again like they’re doing with the war on Iraq, global warming, the gargantuan deficit, the Scooter Libby trial, the Valerie Plame leak, the Abu Ghraib torture scandal, the domestic spying fiasco, the Katrina disaster, the Jack Abramoff scandal, the Tom Delay scandal, the Duke Cunningham scandal, the Enron scandal, the Mark Foley scandal, the Terri Schiavo debacle, the bleak state of health care coverage, and the growing gap between rich and poor. And now they’re gunning for ‘Fredo’ Gonzales, ‘Turd Blossom’ Rove and ‘Dirty Harriet’ Miers. According to my version of the Constitution, Congress is not the boss of me. Therefore, I have executive privileges, as do my faithful bootlicks. Karl Rove, Harriet Miers and others are no under any obligation to testify under oath to anything. Of course, I’m invoking executive privilege. I’ve been privileged my whole life, so why shouldn’t I be privileged when I’m presidenting? Heh-heh.”

President Bush then laid the ground rules for any questioning of his subordinates. “Listen folks. Here are the rules if you’re going to question my people, see. First of all, they don’t have to swear under oath. There will be no Bibles in the room, and no questioners can look them in the eye. They have to be questioned in a secret, undisclosed location, like Uncle Dick’s bunker or our torture chambers in Europe. Any questions must pertain to the following subjects: sports, Texas, or barbeque. They must be able to answer their question while sitting in a recliner, sipping on a nice, refreshing beverage like beer. A big screen TV must be provided in case there is a lull in the questioning. And most importantly, you can’t record their answers. You can’t even remember what they said. As long as these rules are followed, you can ask them anything.”

Harriet Miers said “Oh I may have suggested a few firings here and there. My memory is so hazy these days. All I know is President Bush is the smartest man in this country and I will do whatever he tells me to do. Even go to women’s prison for the rest of my life if it means I protect his privileged white ass.”

Karl Rove said, “Oh my memory is so hazy these days I can’t even remember my raucous dancing from a few nights ago at the White House correspondent’s dinner. But I’m outraged that John Edwards is using his wife’s cancer thing as a ploy to get sympathy at a time when our beloved spin secretary Tony Snow is battling cancer. The nerve of some people!”

Alberto Gonzales said, “My memory is so hazy these days. Actually, my memory is hazy going back to about 2003. I do know I am not responsible for these firings. I don’t know what was going on. I don’t know who authorized it. I don’t even know who works at the Department of Justice. What am I the Attorney General or something? But like I said, I am not responsible.”

Scooter Libby, who was recently convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in the leaking of Valerie Plame’s secret identity, said, “Looks like I’ll be getting a new roommate soon. Alberto will make a fine stoolie. Plus, he’ll keep me warm on those cold winter nights.”

“U.S. Attorneys and others serve at the pleasure of the president.”

George W. Bush
03-14-2007

"This attorney's non-Bushiness displeases me. Send him to Guantanamo!"
“This attorney’s non-Bushiness displeases me. Send him to Guantanamo!”

Rewind: Dubya’s Duplicity On Iraq

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Currently the Republicans are trying to gaslight their way to trying to get TFG elected in 2024 by claiming that all those indictments are a nothing burger. One might think that their duplicity is new, dating back only to the rise of Trump. But the GOP’s dishonesty goes way back. Remember Nixon(Watergate), Reagan(Iran-Contra) and both Bushes(Gulf War, Iraq War, Afghanistan War)? Volumes of lies, deception and propaganda to go around. Since most Americans seem to have the memory of a gnat (somehow, people actually approve of Dubya now), let’s revisit a fairly recent event of GOP gaslighting in 2006 when Dubya tried to spin our reasons for continuing the clusterf*ck in Iraq. The Bush administration repeatedly used the phrase ‘stay the course’ in the early phases of the war and then promptly did an about face, actually gaslighting the people saying that they didn’t use the phrase. That’s so Republican!

Here’s an article, selected quotes and lil’ Dub Toon from our October 28, 2006 edition.

Bush Revises Iraq War Rationale Again

President Bush recently held a press conference stating that the war in Iraq is all about oil and the new reason for staying the course in Iraq is that we need to save civilization. Previous reasons included finding weapons of mass destruction, liberating Iraqis from dictator Saddam Hussein, establishing democracy throughout the Middle East, training the Iraqis to police their own country, making sure the new Baghdad KFC and Pizza Hut’s were safe, and because ‘Uncle Dick and Rummy said so – so there’.

“You see my fellow Americans,” said President Bush. “If them Iraqians actually start using some of that oil under their country that’s rightfully ours – because we’re Americans –the price of gas will skyrocket. Everybody was bellyaching about the price of gas this past summer, but if you think that was bad, wait until we leave Iraq and let the Iraqians run things. We must stay to keep gas prices low. You could say we came for the WMDs and stayed for the oil. Hey! That’s pretty funny.” Bush then chuckled to himself for two minutes.

Vice President Cheney emerged from his secret undisclosed lair, brushed the President aside and said, “Out of my way monkey boy! This isn’t about oil at all. This is the last chance for Western Civilization as we know it. It’s up to me and Rumsfeld to save the world. We’re the only ones who know how to exploit the region for fun and profit. I ask you my fellow Americans. Do you really want to take food out of the mouths of innocent Halliburton employees? That’s why we must win the war in Iraq and you must elect Republicans in this upcoming election. Because if you don’t, the next thing you know, we’ll be riding in ox carts, eating dates and drinking camel’s milk. Terror. Terror. Terror. Fear. Fear. Fear. God Bless Me and Rumsfeld!”

Joan LeBlanc of the international watchdog organization, Citizens For Peace, said “This is just another example of the lies and distortions this administration doles out to the American public on a daily basis. The truth is we are stuck in Iraq, thanks to this administration’s incompetent decision to invade in 2003. If we stay we will continue to be caught in the middle of sectarian violence. If we leave, Iraq will devolve into full scale civil war. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. The genie is out of the bottle and it won’t be going back in any time soon. Pandora’s box is opened. The can of worms is not only open, the worms are spilling out all over the place. The scab has been picked and the wound is infected and oozing with pus. Well, I’m out of cliches. I’m done.”

However, American citizens seemed okay with the White House’s latest explanation. Senior citizen Ruth Thomason of Des Égout, Mississippi said, “I believe the Vice President when he tells me we need to stay in Iraq to save civilization. I also believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy with whom I’m very upset. She hasn’t left me any money for my teeth in the last sixty years and I’m beginning to get a bit miffed.”

Fred Granger of Tuckerville, Illinois said, “Well I was damn mad at the President about everything. Damn mad, I tells ya! I was even going to vote an all Democratic ticket this election. But then the price of gas dropped. Can you believe it’s almost $2 a gallon? Well, all’s forgiven Mr. President. I’m voting Republican.”

Tom Carter of Dorfman, New Jersey said, “I know the Republicans have completely botched the situation in Iraq but I’m comfortable with their incompetence. Go GOP!”

June Amerson of Julesberg, Washington said, “I’m voting for the Republicans because they’re strong on terrorism even though that report that came out says terrorism is much worse in the world since we invaded Iraq. Wait a second. Let me think about that. No wait. Thinking is too tough. Republican it is!”

“We will stay the course. “

George W. Bush
08-30-2006

“We will stay the course, we will complete the job in Iraq. “

George W. Bush
08-04-2005

“And that’s why we’re going to stay the course in Iraq. And that’s why when we say something in Iraq, we’re going to do it.”

George W. Bush
04-16-2004

“And my message today to those in Iraq is: We’ll stay the course.”

George W. Bush
04-13-2004

“And so we’ve got tough action in Iraq. But we will stay the course.

George W. Bush
04-05-2004

“We will stay the course until the job is done, Steve. And the temptation is to try to get the President or somebody to put a timetable on the definition of getting the job done. We’re just going to stay the course. “

George W. Bush
12-15-2003

George W. Bush's pants catch on fire after his latest prevarication about never saying 'staying the course'.
“Stay the course? Nuh uh! I never said stay the course!”

Rewind: Fascist Checklist

We’re taking another brief detour from our review of insane, Arizona GOP, Trumphumper candidates to talk about President Biden’s recent speech on the MAGA Republicans embracing ‘semi-fascism’. We thought it was mostly correct but ‘semi-fascism’? Really? Because the Republicans have been embracing full on fascism for some time now. And now they’ve been openly proving it every day since TFG took office in 2017 and then incited an insurrection on Jan. 6th 2021 because they didn’t win. In their typical whiny, cry-baby manner, Republicans wailed that Biden was being divisive while forgetting about how Trump vilified anyone who disagreed with him during his excruciating tenure as CEO/Dictator.

We also thought it was interesting that no major networks like ABC, NBC or CBS covered Biden’s important speech. This reminds us of other occasions like when Obama gave a speech about his executive order on immigration in December 2014 and nobody bothered to cover it. If the media were truly liberal like the conservative Republicans always claim, then all those networks would have covered Biden’s speech. Liberal Media My Ass!!! It’s just more hypocrisy and deception from the well funded propaganda machine operated by corporate conservative Republicans.

As a courtesy we’re reposting a photo-toon from December 15, 2015 post which depicts a checklist comparing the fascists of the NSDAP(Nazis) party of 1930’s Germany and the 21st century Republican party (or more appropriately, crime syndicate!). As you can see, there’s not much difference and hey, looky there . . . both had a well funded propaganda machine. So if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . . We repeat folks; the Republicans are full on fascists and every TFG enabler running for office needs to be voted out of office or we will lose our democracy just like Germany lost theirs in the 1930s!

The Republican Party has some eerie similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany.

Trump In The Toidy

Words can’t express the glee we’ve had this week with the news of the FBI issuing a search warrant at TFG’s palatial residence Mar-a-lago in Florida. With unsealing of the warrant today, we’ve learned that the twice impeached orange haired megalomaniac man child is under investigation for possible violating of the Espionage Act. We’ve been critical of Merrick Garland and the DOJ for seemingly doing nothing to bring the former CEO/Dictator to justice but we stand corrected. Garland has handled everything masterfully this week and we’ve got a huge case of schadenfreude, just like at least 81 million other Americans.

In celebration of TFG finally appearing to face some justice, we’ve decided to repost a photo-toon from December 8, 2019. It depicts what a possible Trump Memorial might look like showing TFG sitting on his favorite throne dictating to his followers on Twitter, explaining COVFEFE and stating that we should all get over the fact that he’s a crook. At least we know now why he was obsessed with toilets flushing – that’s where he tried to put his torn up documents. Let this be the crime that puts him in a jail cell with a guy named Bubba who’s fond of spoonin’.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

Beware The Lincoln Project

There has been a lot of buzz this election season, or as we call it around here, Con-a-thon 2020, because of the caustic, acerbic ads produced on a daily basis by a group called the Lincoln Project. This organization is led by a several so-called Never-Trumpers who oppose America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump that include George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt. All these people are Republicans who supposedly are fed up with the current state of the GOP and have decided to make devastating videos that attack the President. These videos have had a disastrous effect on Trump’s poll numbers and could lead to the Republican’s not only losing the White House but also the Senate. Even we’ve posted links to a few ads.

So, what’s bad about that? Getting rid of this slimeball President and his asskissing Republicans is a good thing, right? Keep in mind that all three of the above people in charge of the Lincoln Project are POLITICAL STRATEGISTS. Also keep in mind that they all VOTED FOR TRUMP, which they don’t really mention a whole lot. It was pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that Donald Trump was ill-equipped to be President in 2016. We even joked about it back in 2012 after Mitt Romney lost the election, when Trump bloviated forth and proclaimed he’d start a revolution. Well, apparently Mr. Conway, Mr. Wilson and Mr. Schmidt have less than half a brain.

Consider this about each one, too, and you’ll realize the whole Lincoln Project just doesn’t pass the smell test. Conway is married to Kellyanne Conway, the President’s Prevaricating Puppet who tries lamely to spin every stupid thing Trump says into a fountain of wisdom. How can this man remain married to this woman? What’s more, As staff curmudgeon Chester Einstein put it, “How can I trust someone who’s married to this little lying con artist?” The whole operation is a kabuki theater of bullshit but yet Americans seem to be fascinated and repulsed at the same time.

Steve Schmidt was famously John McCain’s campaign manager and actually thought it was a good idea to have Sarah ‘Ms. U-betcha’ Palin on the ticket. Should anyone trust what this man says ever? Yet, he’s making the rounds on all the talk shows as the face of the Never-Trumpers and the liberals are treating him like royalty because he dares to stand up to the President. He’s definitely saying the right things challenging Trumpty Dumpty. But it took him until 2018 to speak up. Could it be that Schmidt’s the chosen one in this grand ol’ political theater orchestrated by the GOP who’s playing the ‘reasonable guy’? Sorry, folks; we just don’t trust the guy.

Rick Wilson is the one who tried to tie then Democratic Senator Max Cleland, who was a disabled veteran and silver star recipient, to Osama Bin-Laden and Saddam Hussein all in an effort to help Saxby Chambliss win the Senator seat. The mudslinging worked and Chambliss won. He also tweeted in 2012 a picture of a cooler that proudly proclaimed ‘the South shall rise again’. The Tampa native’s slimy fingerprints are all over many of the Lincoln Projects ads.

The people who run the Lincoln Project are doing nothing more than setting things up for the Republican Party, post-Trump. They are laying the groundwork for politics where devastating hate ads, which may or may not be true, will hold sway over vulnerable people who don’t have the capacity for critical thought or investigating stories on their own. Unfortunately, the negative smear campaigns have worked like a charm in the 21st century. In election after election, Republicans bombard the airwaves with them (i.e. Swiftboating against John Kerry) as Democrats try to take the high road which, unfortunately, has rarely worked. We are actually old enough to remember when elections weren’t all attack ads. Now, with the Lincoln Project, dirty politics will become the norm and a whole new generation of ratf*cking Republicans will slither forward and take over spreading hateful misinformation to every gullible Gus and Gerty around.

In summary: if these ‘noble’ Americans of the Lincoln Project were so concerned about Trump, why didn’t they release the ads in 2016. Trump hasn’t changed. He was just as obnoxious back then. Sane, intelligent citizens should relish that these vile rats are attacking the other vile GOP rats but DO NOT be conned into thinking they’re on your side or you’ll be sorry.

Heads up, Democrats: The effective, acerbic, caustic ads against Donald Trump by the Lincoln Project, headed by George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt, will be used against Democrats for the remainder of the 21st century.
Heads up, Democrats: The effective, acerbic, caustic ads against Donald Trump by the Lincoln Project, headed by George Conway, Rick Wilson and Steve Schmidt, will be used against Democrats for the remainder of the 21st century.

The Return of the Medieval Barber

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump provided more evidence of his superior brain last week when he suggested that maybe it would be possible to rid ourselves of the coronavirus scourge by just maybe injecting some disinfectant into our bodies or perhaps shine some light into our bodies so that pesky virus will die already and Trump’s stock market can grow again and his troglodyte followers can get haircuts and attend his stupid rallies to bask in his wisdom.

Of course, Trump has already received tons of flack for his pushing of hydroxychloroquine as a possible cure for COVID-19 despite scientific evidence to the contrary. But then again, facts have never been a hindrance for Trump. In his petulant, warped, authoritarian mind, the truth is what he says it is. What is Trump’s next suggestion going to be? Will he channel the medieval barbers of yore and posit that leeches and a good blood-letting will cure you? Maybe drill some holes in the skull to let the bad humors out? They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but no knowledge, especially in the leader of the free world, is proving to be catastrophic.

We noted in our last post that TV clown doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, both came to Trump’s rescue by touting reopening the country despite all evidence pointing to the fact we’re not ready yet. But what is truly amazing is that none of the medical professionals like Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx will come right out and tell Donald Trump to shut the hell up. Dr. Fauci has spoken out afterward, but never to his face. And Dr. Birx just seems to hide behind her facade of multi-colored scarves, chomping at the bit but saying nothing. But then again, that’s typical for today’s modern, fascist, authoritarian loving Republican party. Just do what dear Leader says and shut the hell up. Enjoy your Clorox cocktails everyone!

The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.
The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.

The Derp Doctors

Last week, Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, trotted out two famous television doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, to spew forth reasons why America should open up the economy despite nationally, being nowhere close to flattening the curve of the coronavirus pandemic. Both doctors, surprisingly enough, got their big break from the queen of all media Oprah Winfrey. Staff member Chester Einstein has always been a huge fan of Ms. Winfrey, but when it comes to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, he’s reduced to twiddling his lips. Quoting Chester, “These guys are clowns!” And from what these TV physicians said last week, we’re inclined to agree. As a matter of fact, we think they’re Oprah’s two biggest mistakes.

First, Dr. Phil. We’ve always thought his folksy prescriptions for living a better life were a bit reminiscent of a snake oil salesman. We even created a BilgeBucket list of Dr. Phils folksiest pieces of advice bullshit for improving your life. We’re particularly fond of ” If you can con Oprah into thinking you know something, start pricing solid gold houses .” Remember, she was hoodwinked by author James Frey. Anyway, Dr. Phil started making ill-advised and completely inappropriate comparisons of COVID-19 deaths to swimming pool, auto accident and smoking deaths. He stated basically that people die all the time, why not just open up the country.

Dr. Oz made a similar tone deaf argument stating that we need to open up schools as soon as possible, saying that a 2-3% death rate for children might be considered acceptable. Really!!!??? This quack has already been backpedaling on his comments about hydroxychloroquine. Now this blubbering bonehead, along with Dr. Phil are moonwalking more than Michael Jackson. One thing’s for sure: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are now America’s Derp Doctors. Trust them at your own risk, America.

Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America's Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.
Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America’s Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.

The Trump Memorial

As the impeachment investigation rolls on, a disturbing piece of news bubbled to the top of the news cycle last week, (as if the last three years haven’t been disturbing enough). Apparently, in a recent poll, over 50% of Republicans perceive that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is a better president than the very first Republican president Abraham Lincoln, who most historians rank as the best president in the history of the United States. This is clear evidence that the conservative Republicans enabling and propping up Trump, especially the evangelical sheeple, are indeed cult-like in their devotion of this modern day golden calf and are seriously deranged. We’ll put this in a simple, blunt, concise statement. There’s no f*cking way Trump is even close to being better than Lincoln!!! Are you f*cking kidding!!!

We think it’s interesting to note that when Trump began his clusterf*ck of a presidency, he proclaimed himself to be like Andrew Jackson. Lincoln’s predecessor, James Buchanan, who served as Jackson’s ambassador to Russia in 1831, also idolized Jackson as a strong chief executive when he won the presidency in 1856. But Buchanan ended up being the worst president in this nation’s history and his incompetent actions, or inactions, led to a bloody Civil War which tore this nation apart for four years with repercussions that lasted well into the 20th century. Trump’s actions have also greatly divided this nation and has made the United States a laughingstock of the world. But the always egotistical Trump has openly suggested another Civil War if he is impeached and many of his armed, pliant supporters are ready to take action. So Trump is much closer to being like James Buchanan, the worst, than Abraham Lincoln, the best.

The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.