Tag Archive for tv

Rewind: Commercial TV

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The writers are on strike which means some of our favorite comedy shows have shut down production. This stoppage brings up an old article from our June 26, 2007 issue when we pondered a fall TV season where all the shows featured popular characters from commercials, like the cavemen from the Geico commercials (yes, the cavemen actually had a deservedly short-lived TV show on ABC). Look at the progression: sitcoms, game shows, informercials, reality shows, more reality shows, a reality show President. Everything TV in the 21st century sucks! How many Real Housewife shows do we need? Not even one, if you ask us. Let’s face it, folks; the golden years of Hollywood are very far away in the rear view mirror.

Fall TV Season: All Commercials

Recently, ABC announced that is was going to create a sitcom this fall about the cavemen from the popular Geico commercials. It didn’t take long for the other networks to follow along like lemmings and announce that they too will broadcast shows featuring characters from popular television commercials. As a matter of fact, the whole fall schedule is now devoted to shows based on commercial characters.

“This is an amazing development,” said Brantly A. Burke, assistant programming exec for Fox. “Eight years ago, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ushered in the era of prime time game shows. Then Survivor started the reality show trend which spawned dozens of copycat shows. Well, the new wave is here and its TV shows about commercial characters! What better way to produce revenue for the network than a half hour or hour long commercial. This will be revolutionary! We already have infomercials, which are quasi-entertainment. Why not take the next step and create entire sitcoms which are not only crowd pleasing but also sell a product. It’s rampant commercialism on steroids.”

Geico struck it rich by not only getting a sitcom about the cavemen but also a sitcom featuring celebrity spokesmen Verne Troyer, Peter Graves and Little Richard as door-to-door insurance salesmen and another sitcom featuring the Geico Gecko and his adventures in modern day London.

“It’s really not all that surprising,” said the Geico Gecko in his trademark British accent. “People like to be entertained and they find me adorable. Why not have me on more frequently? It’s like if someone offers you free pie and chips. You’re not going to turn down free pie and chips. It’s pie…and chips…for free. Stop me if you’ve heard this before.”

Burke expounded more about the shows. “Now the whole show won’t be one big sales pitch. There will be some semblance of a plot. But there will be subtle product placement and discussion of the product sprinkled liberally throughout the show. For instance, here’s a sample of dialog from the show featuring Little Richard and Peter Graves.”

Graves: Wow! I’m wiped out. I’m too old to be a door-to-door insurance salesman.

Little Richard: Wooooooooo! I sure hope you have Geico Life Insurance in case you drop dead. Woooooooooo!

Graves: You bet I do! And boy is it affordable!

“See,” said Burke. “Very subtle.”

Examples of some new shows this fall include:

  • Those five knuckleheads from the Alltel commercials battling each other every week in Sell Phone
  • Those wise-acre stand-up comedians from the Sierra Mist ads working, living and laughing together in Play Sierra Misty for Me
  • The Burger King buys an RV and travels the backroads of America creeping out people from all walks of life in Burger King of the Road
  • The return of the Taco Bell Chihuahua in Yo Quiero Mindless Entertainment
  • The Mentos kids starring as MacGyver-like adventurists, who get in and out of trouble each week in a different location around the world thanks to their unlimited supply of Mentos in Have Mentos, Will Travel

The American viewing public seemed very receptive to the new wave of programming. Robin Weller of Boston, Massachusetts said, “Wow! This promises to be very entertaining! It should keep my interest for at least thirty seconds. Oh look. A fly. Bzzzzzzzz. What were we talking about?”

Peter Johnson of Lake Pleasant, New York said, “What a perfect marriage of entertainment and commerce. Being a typical American consumer, I look forward to buying any product that is pushed in front of my face and placing myself in even more debilitating debt.”

Barry Bealle of Jackson, Kentucky said with a glazed look in his eye, “Can’t talk. Must find TV.”

Shows Tonight On Court TV

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Are you ready for some justice and entertainment? Grab your gavel and popcorn. Here’s a schedule of shows coming up on Court TV.

Shows Tonight on Court TV

6:00pmHot Bench
6:30pmCold Bench
7:00pmLuke Warm Bench
7:30pmJudge Judy
8:00pmJudge Reinhold
8:30pmGrace Shipley, Super Stenographer
10:00pmBailiffs After Dark: Proper Handcuffing Techniques

Shows Tonight On The Game Show Network

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Another of our staples on our website from 2005 to 2007 was a little feature in our left hand column listing the crapfest of tv shows on obscure and not so obscure television networks. You know the old saying about tv, a million channels and nothing is on. Well, we couldn’t agree more. We’ve already posted several listings in our category TV Tonight. Here’s a schedule of people pleasing entertainment coming up on The Game Show Network.

Shows Tonight on The Game Show Network

7:00pmWhat’s My Disease?
7:30pmUltra Mega Super Duper Password
8:00pmThe Bitterly Divorced Game
8:30pmThe Bong Show
9:00pmThe Price is Right: Barker’s Beauties Gone Wild!
9:30pmWho Wants to Be a Porn Star

The Republican Mongo

Tucker Carlson, ‘journalist’ at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network and man with a perpetual brain fart. recently got himself in a lot of hot water. It seems that…brace yourselves…the Tuckwad is a bit of a white nationalist. Media Matters uncovered audio of Tucktard’s appearance on the Bubba the Love Sponge show (you can’t make this stuff up) and ol’ Tucknuts let loose with a torrent of misogynistic and racist gems. What’s more, in true Trumpian fashion, he has refused to apologize for them. Of course, this isn’t shocking to anybody who’s been paying attention since 2004. We’ve made note of his ‘journalistic integrity’ before (here and here).

We’re old-timers here at the Bucket and we remember another thinking impaired person from Mel Brooks’ classic comedy Blazing Saddles, the town simpleton Mongo. Yes, Tucker Carlson could easily be mistaken for him with the befuddled, eternally constipated look on his face. Mongo’s famous mantra could even be updated for the former bow-tie wearing douchebag: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”

Fox News 'journalist' and man with a perpetual brain fart, Tucker Carlson, bears a striking resemblance to another thinking impaired simpleton, Mongo from the 1970s Mel Brooks classic movie, Blazing Saddles and has even updated his famous mantra: "Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda"

Fox News ‘journalist’ and man with a perpetual brain fart, Tucker Carlson, bears a striking resemblance to another thinking impaired simpleton, Mongo from the 1970s Mel Brooks classic movie, Blazing Saddles and has even updated his famous mantra: “Tucker only pawn in game of white nationalism and conservative Republican propaganda.”

McSally: Trump Rubber Stamp

Wow! Two posts in a row on Martha McSally. Well, it’s election season here in Arizona and the GOP is at it again. We noted on our last post on how Martha McSally, who originally distanced herself from America’s CEO, Donald Trump, after his inauguration, has now drank the fascist Kool-Aid and is fully embracing the right wing crazy that is the modern Republican party.

On Monday’s debate between the two candidates, McSally claimed that Sinema was guilty of treason in a 2003 radio interview in which the radio host wackily started bantering about hypothetical situations and Sinema, refusing to give into the libertarian’s stupidity, suggested it was okay if he wanted to join the Taliban. To her credit, Ms. Sinema called McSally on her dirty politics. What McSally did is what Republican’s always do: they slice and dice only a small bit of what was said and never the full picture. Even former Attorney General, Republican Grant Woods, has called McSally on her bullshit. More often than not the Republicans accuse Democrats of exactly what they’re trying to do. like when Trump falsely declared that Democrats wanted to destroy Social Security and Medicare.

Of course, Republicans are the masters of being irony impaired. McSally called Sinema’s actions treasonous while completely turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s colluding with Russia during the 2016 elections and his open support for that ‘strong and powerful’ Russian president Vladimir Putin. We think McSally’s statements have earned herself a tin foil hat worthy of other Arizona wack jobs like former governor, Jan Brewer and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. That’s right, Ms. McSally: keep drinking that crazy, right wing, Trump Kool-Aid.

What’s also interesting is that not only is Trump supporting McSally but also Trump’s supposed Arizona nemesis, phony, feckless Jeff Flake has endorsed her as well. Yet, the Republicans are trying to con everyone that there are differences within the ranks of the GOP. Now that’s fake news.

With healthcare on many Arizonan’s minds, maybe McSally’s abysmal record on healthcare votes will help sway voters to elect Sinema rather than a Trump rubber stamp.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump's 2016 election treason.

Arizona Senate candidate, Martha McSally, earns her moniker of being a Trump rubber stamp by turning a blind eye to Donald Trump’s 2016 election treason.

McSally: Another Trump Lackey

Since phony, feckless, Jeff Flake has opted out of politics for the time being, Democrats have an excellent chance to pick up a Senate seat here in usually red Arizona in the 2018 midterms. Democrat Kyrsten Sinema, who has served the 9th Congressional district since 2014, is running for Senator against Republican Martha McSally, who has served the 2nd Congressional district. So at least Arizona will have it’s first female Senator.

But as you’d expect from the modern day GOP, they are slinging mud like it’s a monster truck show. McSally has been relentless in her character assassination attack ads on local tv here, spewing forth volumes of lies and misleading claims on Sinema, forcing the Democratic candidate to play defense. Unfortunately, the ads seem to be working as Sinema’s lead since earlier this year, which was substantial, has slipped in the polls. Sinema has voted many times with Republicans over the past four years because she has to walk a political tightrope since many in her district are Republicans. But like her ads state, Sinema is truly an Independent like the majority of Arizonans are and will represent the state as it is now becoming; a purple state.

But McSally is hardly a ramrod straight as she claims to be and she seems to be adopting a Trumpian manner in attacking Sinema and the Democrats. Sure, she impressively served as a pilot in the military (we truly applaud her record of service). But she had the nerve to attack Sinema for protesting the clusterf*ck that was the Iraq War and the quagmire that still is the Afghanistan war. And she’s claiming Sinema is protecting molesters and rapists, and would leave the border unprotected, which is downright lying and dirty politics, something Republicans claim to abhor. The only thing Sinema disagrees with McSally on border security is the necessity of a wall: McSally wants Trump’s stupid wall and Sinema wisely sees that its a waste of taxpayers money that won’t solve the problem (drones, tunnels, etc…).  McSally also distanced herself from Trump after his election, but is now embracing the orange haired megalomaniac with open arms like other former moderate Trump-haters like Lindsey Graham and Susan Collins in the GOP. There is no doubt that McSally will be a rubber stamp for a man who is proudly ignorant and grossly dishonest as evidence by his recent 60 Minutes interview. If there’s anything we don’t need more of in this country, it’s Trump lackeys.

It should be very interesting here in Arizona on election day. This state may not become blue, but it could become very purple November 6th which is more indicative of what this state is: Independent.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump expresses gratitude that Martha McSally will be a good little lackey for whatever disastrous policy he wants like wars with Iran, China, Mexico and California and the complete demolishing of Social Security.

Arizona Republican candidate for Senator, Martha McSally, clarifies that she’ll be nothing more than a rubber stamp for any stupid, disastrous policy that springs forth from America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump’s addled brain.

The Untouchables: 2018

Paul Manafort is the latest former associate of Donald Trump to flip and it has many speculating as to whether this is the beginning of the end for the orange haired man child who is America’s CEO/Dictator. Most people agree that things aren’t looking good for Trump, but then again things have never looked good for the Donald during his entire disastrous presidency and yet he is still — unfrickingbelievably — president.

This whole clusterf*cked trauma brings to mind for us old farts here at the Bucket, the early 1960s crime drama The Untouchables starring Robert Stack as Eliot Ness, which has been constantly played in syndication on TV for the last fifty years. In the episodes, Ness and his band of incorruptible G-men pursued noted criminal gangsters like Dutch Schultz, Frank Nitti and the kingpin, Al Capone.  The lead-in and ending graphic for the show was very stylistic and combined with the iconic theme music, set the mood perfectly for the drama. We can just imagine a possible reality reboot of the show with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid team of FBI agents as they descend on Trump Tower to bring to justice members of the Republican crime syndicate like Manafort, Michael Cohen and of course, the dear leader, the real Alphonse Capone of the 21st century, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

A reality reboot of the fantastic early 1960s crime drama. The Untouchables, is in the works with Robert Mueller leading his intrepid squad of FBI agents as they descend upon Trump Tower trying to bring to justice members of the current Republican crime syndicate like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen and dear leader, Donald Trump.

Fox News: GOP Propaganda Machine

It’s hard to keep up with the flak generator that is the Trump administration, but this piece of news is straight from the DUH file.

In a bombshell, retired Army lieutenant colonel and news analyst, Ralph Peters, quit Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. In a scathing statement, Peters said “In my view, Fox has degenerated from providing a legitimate and much-needed outlet for conservative voices to a mere propaganda machine for a destructive and ethically ruinous administration.” Peters went on to lament on how the Fox anchors now shamelessly “dismiss facts and empirical reality to launch profoundly dishonest assaults on the F.B.I., the Justice Department, the courts, the intelligence community (in which I served) and, not least, a model public servant and genuine war hero such as Robert Mueller.” Wow! And this is from an ultra conservative hawk who thought the clusterf*ck Iraq War was a good idea, and called Obama a pussy. Of course, Fox News has obviously been spewing Republican Party propaganda since it’s inception over twenty years ago. This is crystal clear to anyone with half a brain. Hence, the DUH.

We’re not saying we like Peters now…far from it. It’s just that Trump and his propaganda channel are now officially so pathetic that staunchly conservative Republicans are abandoning ship or as Peters put it, he could not “in good conscience” remain with a network that “is now wittingly harming our system of government for profit.”

Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys hellbent on destroying the government for fun and profit.

Conservative pundit, Ralph Peters, a.k.a. Captain Obvious, shocks the world by declaring Fox News to be nothing more than a propaganda machine for American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his gang of Republican party lackeys.

We’re Living In 1984

We’re sick of Trump and his horde of gun loving, conservative Republican malcontents, so we’re doing a palette cleanser today and instead focus on how technology has transformed our society and not always for the best.

We’ve commented before about the ubiquity of cell phones and how we’re completely and totally distracted by all things related to technology. We saw the old Apple Macintosh commercial from 1984 not too long ago and the irony leaped out at us. In the commercial, the downtrodden people are slaves to their masters who appear on screens barking instructions on what to do and how to do it. By choosing the Mac, one can break free from the bonds of uniformity and gains independence.

Cut to the 21st century and people everywhere are walking around like automatons taking orders from first, Apple’s guru Steve Jobs, who passed away in 2011, and now Tim Cook. When Apple issues a new iPhone, people drop what they’re doing and wait in line for days for the new gadget. When Jobs spoke, people sat spellbound in the audience just like in the 1984 commercial. Now, Cook does the same. Oh, the Irony!

We’re not saying all tech is bad. The Internet is clearly a wonderful thing. No longer does one have to trek to a library to do research. One can find the weather forecast instantaneously or watch world events happening in real time.  But the fact is that we don’t control technology anymore; technology controls us.  We are truly slaves to technology. And the people who are in control of our society are taking complete advantage.  At any given time, you can be tracked down and located. One disturbing instance in Orwell’s book 1984 was that people couldn’t even enjoy their own privacy. Big Brother was always watching them and knew where they were at all times. Well, Big Brother is watching us now and it’s not just the government. Tech companies like Facebook, Twitter and Google wield enormous power and influence. Our society is permanently distracted by social media and until we learn to control our addiction, our society will continue to suffer. When the measure of a human being is how many friends one has on Facebook or how many followers you have on Twitter then something is seriously wrong. We need to break free from this conformity and regain our independence or else accept that the dystopian future of 1984 has come to pass.

Humanity has managed to make the dystopian future depicted in George Orwell's book 1984 a reality in the technology addicted 21st century.

Humanity has managed to make the dystopian future depicted in George Orwell’s book 1984 a reality in the technology addicted 21st century.

New Republican Health Plan: Just Die Already!

As expected, one of the first actions of the new Trump administration and the GOP controlled Congress is to repeal the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare. This despite the fact that the ACA has helped millions to afford healthcare and repealing it would eliminate insurance coverage for an estimated 32 million people. Everyone agrees the ACA is not perfect, but it is a great first step to something better, the ideal being a single payer health care system and eliminating the health insurance companies completely.  In short, the ACA is working. Not only that, the Republicans have NOTHING to replace it.

But that won’t stop the Republicans from trying to repeal it…because…you know…Obama likes it.  It’s amazing, but there are some people who want to get rid of Obamacare and keep the ACA, not realizing that they are the same thing. Jimmy Kimmel proved this recently on a segment on his show. What does this show? It shows that the Republican Propaganda Machine, a.k.a. Fox News and the right wing media like Breitbart, Rush Limbaugh et al, have been enormously effective at disseminating false news and deceiving the American public. That and a lot of Americans are lacking in the ability to think critically. Want proof? Look who’s President now!

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his GOP lackeys, Lyin' Ted Cruz, Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell and Paul 'Jug Ears' Ryan have come up with a new health plan for all the sickos out there.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his GOP lackeys, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell and Paul ‘Jug Ears’ Ryan have come up with ‘the best’ new health plan for all the sickos out there.