Tag Archive for Dr. Oz

The Return of the Medieval Barber

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump provided more evidence of his superior brain last week when he suggested that maybe it would be possible to rid ourselves of the coronavirus scourge by just maybe injecting some disinfectant into our bodies or perhaps shine some light into our bodies so that pesky virus will die already and Trump’s stock market can grow again and his troglodyte followers can get haircuts and attend his stupid rallies to bask in his wisdom.

Of course, Trump has already received tons of flack for his pushing of hydroxychloroquine as a possible cure for COVID-19 despite scientific evidence to the contrary. But then again, facts have never been a hindrance for Trump. In his petulant, warped, authoritarian mind, the truth is what he says it is. What is Trump’s next suggestion going to be? Will he channel the medieval barbers of yore and posit that leeches and a good blood-letting will cure you? Maybe drill some holes in the skull to let the bad humors out? They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but no knowledge, especially in the leader of the free world, is proving to be catastrophic.

We noted in our last post that TV clown doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, both came to Trump’s rescue by touting reopening the country despite all evidence pointing to the fact we’re not ready yet. But what is truly amazing is that none of the medical professionals like Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx will come right out and tell Donald Trump to shut the hell up. Dr. Fauci has spoken out afterward, but never to his face. And Dr. Birx just seems to hide behind her facade of multi-colored scarves, chomping at the bit but saying nothing. But then again, that’s typical for today’s modern, fascist, authoritarian loving Republican party. Just do what dear Leader says and shut the hell up. Enjoy your Clorox cocktails everyone!

The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.
The Return of the Medieval Barber: America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius and top notch medical professional Donald Trump surmises that a Clorox cocktail, leeches and blood-letting is the best prescription for cleaning out the coronavirus from a patient’s body which pleases his horde of greedy, sycophantic Republican lackeys who desperately want the country to reopen, consequences be damned. Rated R for Regressive.

The Derp Doctors

Last week, Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, trotted out two famous television doctors, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, to spew forth reasons why America should open up the economy despite nationally, being nowhere close to flattening the curve of the coronavirus pandemic. Both doctors, surprisingly enough, got their big break from the queen of all media Oprah Winfrey. Staff member Chester Einstein has always been a huge fan of Ms. Winfrey, but when it comes to Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, he’s reduced to twiddling his lips. Quoting Chester, “These guys are clowns!” And from what these TV physicians said last week, we’re inclined to agree. As a matter of fact, we think they’re Oprah’s two biggest mistakes.

First, Dr. Phil. We’ve always thought his folksy prescriptions for living a better life were a bit reminiscent of a snake oil salesman. We even created a BilgeBucket list of Dr. Phils folksiest pieces of advice bullshit for improving your life. We’re particularly fond of ” If you can con Oprah into thinking you know something, start pricing solid gold houses .” Remember, she was hoodwinked by author James Frey. Anyway, Dr. Phil started making ill-advised and completely inappropriate comparisons of COVID-19 deaths and swimming pool, auto accident of smoking deaths. He stated basically that people die all the time, why not just open up the country.

Dr. Oz made a similar tone deaf argument stating that we need to open up schools as soon as possible, saying that a 2-3% death rate for children might be considered acceptable. Really!!!??? This quack has already been backpedaling on his comments about hydroxychloroquine. Now this blubbering bonehead, along with Dr. Phil are moonwalking more than Michael Jackson. One thing’s for sure: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are now America’s Derp Doctors. Trust them at your own risk, America.

Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America's Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.
Oprah discoveries Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil have officially become America’s Derp Doctors with their tone deaf prescriptions for opening up the economy despite the coronavirus curve not even being close to flattening.