Tag Archive for White House

Rewind: Pickles – RAW

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

There weren’t many good things about the Bush administration. Let’s face it, folks: they screwed up the economy, the United States’ standing in the world and crippled us with two unwinnable wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. About the best thing about Dubya and his gang of corrupt buffoons was Laura Bush. As First Lady, she wasn’t awful. Sure she was a kowtowing christian wife who meekly demurred to her christian husband. Remember in 2006 when she said it was okay to sing the national anthem in Spanish and when she heard Dubya’s opinion differed she changed her mind to match her husband. Man do thinking – women make food, have babies. Ugggh!

But Laura Bush did have a sense of humor as evidence in 2005 at the White House correspondent’s dinner. She gave a bawdy little stand up routine that was well received by everyone across the political spectrum. Some of the jokes were even at the expense of lil’ Georgie who sat red faced while she mocked him roundly. One particular anecdote dealt with Dubya’s early attempts at ranching that thoroughly humiliated him. “George didn’t know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don’t have a real strong ranching program. But I’m proud of George. He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse. “ Yes, the imagery of ol’ Dubya whacking off a stallion is pretty damn funny. Not even Jon Stewart could have done better.

Here’s a photo-toon from our June 6, 2005 issue featuring the cover of Laura ‘Pickles’ Bush bawdy new comedy album RAW featuring horse masturbation jokes.

Emboldened by her recent success at the White House correspondents' dinner, First Lady Laura 'Pickles' Bush released her bawdy new comedy album last week.
Emboldened by her recent success at the White House correspondents’ dinner, First Lady Laura ‘Pickles’ Bush released her bawdy new comedy album last week.

Trump Sez Don’t Fear The COVID!

Straight from the poetic justice files: recently America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump, fresh from being thumped and humiliated at the first and hopefully last Presidential debate of the 2020 election season, announced that he tested positive for coronavirus, this after months of downplaying the virus despite over 200,000 Americans dying from COVID-19, the disease caused by the virus. He was airlifted a day later to Walter Reed Hospital where he received top notch medical care and a ‘cocktail’ of medications including a drug called Regeneron which Trumpty Dumpty touted a miracle drug claiming that he felt like ‘Superman’ after the treatments, despite the CEO of Regeneron claiming more tests are needed.

The Trump manure and virus spreader really tilted into overdrive after that. Much to the dismay of any competent doctor’s recommendations, Trump returned to the White House the following Monday, took off his mask and visibly wheezing and struggling to breathe, declared that people shouldn’t fear COVID-19. Over the course of the following week, Trump has proclaimed that he must be ‘immune’, implying himself to be some kind of superhuman. He gave an interview with his favorite ass-kisser Fox Propaganda Network’s Sean Hannity where he noticeably hacked his way through the interview. Meanwhile, White House doctor Sean Conley trashed any trace of respectability he had left by stating that Trump was symptom free, despite not having tested negative for the virus, and could resume regularly scheduled campaigning events, while most medical experts are crying bullshit.

There’s no way Trump is not contagious, that is if he even had coronavirus in the first place. The whole scenario just doesn’t pass the sniff test. But yet Trump is out again doing his rallies, completely maskless. His message of not fearing COVID falls woefully flat because 99.9% of people in the United States can’t be airlifted to Walter Reed and given the same treatment the President gets. If people do end up contracting the disease, most would end up with debilitating hospital bills and possibly permanent health damage. But then again, Trump’s only concern is about getting elected again, not if Jane and Joe Smith end up getting the virus and paying for it with their life.

Do the Republicans really think they can get away with this tomfoolery? Of course they do! They’ve gotten away with it for four years, why wouldn’t they. Hell, that’s been the modus operandi for the GOP the past fifty years: bully their way into doing anything they want and if things go wrong, blame it on the Democrats, who inevitably end up fixing things only for the Republican sheeple to buy the next con the Republicans dish out to them. Rinse and repeat.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and coronavirus superspreader, Donald Trump, declares that Americans shouldn't fear COVID-19 despite most not having access to the same medical care that the President does, while 'Doctor' and Republican lackey Sean Conley proclaims the orange skinned megalomaniac to be the perfect human specimen.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, petulant man child and coronavirus superspreader, Donald Trump, declares that Americans shouldn’t fear COVID-19 despite most not having access to the same medical care that the President does, while ‘Doctor’ and Republican lackey Sean Conley proclaims the orange skinned megalomaniac to be the perfect human specimen.

Trump’s Impeachment Stonewall

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump has finally built his wall. But it’s not the one his supporters expected on the southern border. This wall is the stonewall that the orange-haired man child has constructed around the White House to protect him from the impeachment inquiry currently being conducted by the Democrat-led House of Representatives.

The investigation is ratcheting up and more and more crimes committed by the Trump administration are coming to light. For instance, the testimony by acting ambassador William B. Taylor Jr. clarifies that there definitely was a quid pro quo with Ukraine for aid contingent on finding dirt on Joe Biden. The House has subpoenaed several members of the Trump administration but many like Mike Pompeo and Rudy Giuliani have ignored them. The official stance of the Trump White House is that it will not comply with any of the impeachment proceedings as Trump perceives it as a ‘witch hunt’, which is what he calls any kind of investigation into his laundry list of dubious actions, lies and fabrications. This obvious stonewalling is obvious obstruction, which is against the law and an impeachable offense. But that doesn’t matter with Trump. In his weak, feeble, authoritarian mind, he is above the law and can do no wrong. Only he can fire people, not vice-versa. His tenure as president is nothing more than a reality show for him and a nightmare for every sane person in America and the free, democratic world.

So what are the Democrats going to do with all these refusals of subpoenas? Should they arrest people who don’t honor them? What good is the impeachment inquiry if they’re not going to apply the law and the Republicans do whatever they want with no repercussions? The Republicans are still betting on Trump’s authoritarian thuggery to carry the party forward (or backward, if you like reality). They’ve even ‘stormed’ the hearings in an attempt to ‘demand transparency’ when in reality it’s just to try and portray themselves as victims of the mean ol’ Democrat heathens who are out to get the saintly Trump. They seem to have forgotten that when they conducted impeachment proceedings against Clinton in the ’90’s, the hearings were closed as well. But like the LA Times says, “It’s so much easier for Trump’s supporters on Capitol Hill to bleat about the process of the inquiry than it is to deny Taylor’s account or defend the quid pro quo”. The conservative GOP will never admit they’re wrong, so they’re willing to destroy their own party rather than admit the President is a crook and move on to their next leader, whoever that may be. They’re even attacking Spiff Romney, who had the audacity to speak out against Trump. For the Republicans, it’s party over country and they have every intention to authoritatively shove their ideology down everyone’s throats.

We know one thing: Trump’s stonewalling is further threatening democracy and the rule of law. The Democrats must start holding Republicans accountable now! If that means locking them up to obey subpoenas then that’s what they should do! For Pete’s sake, the Republicans ran on a platform of honoring law and order and yet they thwart regulations, checks and balances and rule of law every chance they get. If the Republicans don’t start playing by the rules and the Democrats don’t start enforcing the law, then chaos will reign in this country and we’ll be nothing more than a nation straight out of a comic book with a Joker as the President.

America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he's erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike 'Puritan' Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.
America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump proudly proclaims that he cannot be impeached because of the stone wall he’s erected around the White House much to the delight of the blathering, sycophantic jesters in his administration, Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, Rudi Giuliani, Bill Barr and Mike ‘Puritan’ Pence, who suggest that Americans just get over it.

Rewind: Bush’s Pinocchio AG

The Trump impeachment inquiry grinds onward but last week, the 2nd worst president of our lifetime, George W. Bush, a.k.a. Dubya, reappeared in the national arena when a football broadcast showed talk show host Ellen DeGeneres palling around with ol’ Dub Dub, who supported at one time a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage, at a Dallas Cowboy’s game in luxury seats. This has sparked much controversy, some celebrities being supportive of Ellen’s new buddy and others, like Mark Ruffalo, not so supportive. Given how much we’ve griped about Dubya since 2003, we tend to agree with Ruffalo’s statements. In fact. we say Bravo!

We’ve noted before about the recent normalization of Dubya’s clusterf*cked administration now that Trump is in office. Make no mistake, Bush was awful! His administration tried to undermine rule the law just like Trump is doing now because. . . you know . . . that’s what Republicans do. Dubya lied repeatedly to the public and his Attorney General Alberto Gonzales did for Bush what Bill Barr is doing for the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House. Remember, Gonzales tried to fire federal prosecutors back in 2007 for political purposes. He also had a litany of other controversies, which eventually led to his resignation. That’s just part of the Republican’s eternal blue print to destroy government regulations (or laws!) and privatize everything for the good of the plutocrats of corporate America.

We recommend that everybody review the history of these conservative Republican con artists from the Bush era. They should be held accountable but instead people choose to forget. We like Ellen. But it’s too bad that she is so willing to look past Dubya’s war crimes, because he should be held accountable for them. But, in true conservative fashion, Bush has not apologized and will never apologize for his transgressions, because in his mind, conservatives never make mistakes and to admit a wrongdoing is a sign of weakness. Sound like anybody currently occupying the White House?

Well, in America, we guess when you’re a rich celebrity, money trumps everything else. Who cares if you tortured people and started a war on false pretenses that screwed up the entire Middle East. Let’s enjoy a football game together in luxury seats because we’re famous and wealthy. What Ellen should have done was to offer up her seat to one of the many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who lost limbs or who are suffering from PTSD. Better yet, why don’t Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and all those other millionaires and plutocrats who profited from those wars pay all the medical costs for those veterans who are now suffering. Nope; like everything else, we the people end up paying for everything while the wealthy skate away with their money without a care in the world and without accountability.

Here’s photo-toon featuring Dubya and Fredo ‘Pinocchio’ Gonzales from our June 26, 2007 issue.

President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate's investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year.
President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate’s investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year.

Hurricane Commander

The Trump administration recently added another level to its already towering pile of preposterous bullshit it has spewed upon the American electorate in the last three years. Apparently, now meteorologists have to check with our dear leader before making any weather forecasts. Yes, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s ego is so weak and fragile that telling him he’s wrong on weather forecasts could get you fired.

It all started when Hurricane Dorian approached the Bahamas and was threatening Florida and the southeastern United States. Trump tweeted that people in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas should be aware but he also included Alabama. Now when Dorian was passing by Puerto Rico, spaghetti plots suggested that maybe Alabama would get hit. But as the cyclone approached the Bahamas days later, it became evident from the updated forecast models that Alabama was in little to no danger. The models had changed. This is when Trump sent out his infamous tweet. The National Weather Service in Alabama tweeted a correction to Trump’s tweet stating that Alabamans need not worry because they were not threatened.

Now a normal, sane human being would just say, “Oops. My bad.” and get on with life. Not Trump. No, the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House who in his warped conservative mind is never wrong and claims to be the ‘chosen one’ doubled down and presented a weather chart a few day later that had obviously been altered by a sharpie to include Alabama in the forecast’s cone of uncertainty. This touched off Sharpiegate which unfortunately has taken center stage over the death and destruction that occurred in the Bahamas due to Hurricane Dorian.

To make matters worse, an unsigned notice from admin people in NOAA(National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) popped up last week saying they were wrong to contradict the President. Apparently, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross threatened that heads would roll if the meteorologists didn’t apologize to dear leader. Of course, meteorologists, scientists and thinking intelligent humans are not accepting this at all and calls for Ross’s resignation have been inundating the White House like storm surge from a hurricane.

And then, just because he’s the biggest asshole on the planet, Trump forbade a ship full of storm survivors from the Bahamas to dock in Florida because. . . you know . . . there might be ‘very bad people’ trying to sneak in with the refugees. What a dick!

The point is that Donald Trump is so unstable that he shouldn’t be counted on for anything, even compassion for his fellow human beings. Think about it. Meteorologists have to make sure their forecasts don’t offend or contradict the President? Hurricane victims who just lost everything can’t even seek refuge within the United States? Are you kidding???!!! His incompetence isn’t funny anymore, it’s frightening. He’s a danger to this country and the planet. He is subverting democracy right under our noses. World events, like the recent Saudi Arabia attacks, are happening now that need a calm cool head, not an idiot who thinks he’s the ‘chosen one’, denies climate change yet somehow can control the weather and will never admit he’s wrong even when you shove the facts in his face. Democrats, grow a spine and do your job! IMPEACH THIS JOKER – NOW!!!

American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed 'chosen one', Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn't follow his commands.
American CEO/Dictator, stable genius, bestest weatherman ever, hurricane commander and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, gets tough with a menacing tropical cyclone when it changes course and doesn’t follow his commands.

Oval Office Follies

The big story this week was the Oval Office budget meeting between America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence and Democratic House and Senate leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. We’ve had our doubts about both Pelosi and Schumer because they’re both corporatists who do their fair share of cozying up to moneyed interests and they’ve shown in the past a willingness to cave in a little too quickly to Republican demands (like many other Democrats have done in the past twenty years, i.e. the Iraq War, Patriot Act, etc…).

But we’ve got to admit that we like what we saw from Pelosi and Schumer. They made Trump look like a buffoon by getting him to take ownership of any looming government shutdown on video for the whole country to see. Meanwhile, Mike Pence sat like a bump on a log in his chair, doing absolutely zilch, zippo, nada, bupkis, diddly-squat. We love all the Pence memes that are making the rounds this past week. We like that comment that he looked like he was at a strip club. Yes, America… if Trump is impeached, then we’ll be in the stoic, ultra-conservative hands of Puritan Pence, which gives no sane person in America a warm fuzzy.

In a recent Oval Office budget meeting with Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi, Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence tries to keep his thoughts pure while America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump tries to keep his thoughts empty.

America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and Vice President and modern day Puritan Mike Pence use impressive conservative skills to outmaneuver Democratic House leader Nancy Pelosi in a recent Oval Office budget meeting.

Blood Red Xmas Trees

While America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, continues to receive bad news about the Mueller investigation, he’s basically swept the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi under the carpet instead of confronting his new best friend, authoritarian Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammed bin Salman. The Senate is currently trying to put together a bipartisan bill to force sanctions on Saudi Arabia. Will they be able to do it? Pardon our skepticism but considering their past performance these past two years, probably not.

Meanwhile, Melania Trump has received some ‘attention’ concerning her unusual red xmas trees decorating the White House. We think that maybe its an homage to the Donald’s new friendship with the Saudis…you know…blood red xmas trees with bone saw ornaments. Like Melania says, “Be best, darlink.”

The Trumps reveal their artistic blood red christmas trees with innovative bone saw ornaments in honor of their authoritarian friends in Saudi Arabia.

The Trumps reveal their artistic blood red christmas trees with innovative bone saw ornaments in honor of their authoritarian friends in Saudi Arabia.

Sinkhole Or Trump’s Ass?

Recently, it was reported that a sinkhole had opened up on the White House’s North Lawn and it appears to be growing. Wow! If this isn’t a perfect metaphor for the Trump administration, we don’t know what is.

So how did the White House deal with the problem. Ehhh…just put a board over it. Just like with climate change; nothing to see here folks. Apparently, this isn’t the first sinkhole to appear on a Trump property. According to the aforementioned link, one opened up at Mar-a-lago last year.

We have no doubt that America’s hugely intelligent CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, will probably wonder if the sinkhole is in fact his ass.

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, ponders whether or not the sinkhole on the White House lawn is indeed his ass.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, ponders whether or not the sinkhole on the White House lawn is indeed his ass.

The Lying Liar’s Pity Party

The Trump administration’s lackeys continue to annoy the American populace on a daily basis. Take Sarah Huckabee Sanders…please. She keeps complaining about how the press is unfairly spreading ‘fake news’. We’ve already commented about how this bible thumper has been repeatedly bearing false witness in front of the nation despite her religion teaching its followers that lying will lead to eternal damnation.

Now Ms. Sanders is whining about how the press calling her a liar is making her feel bad. Oh really???!!! Poor baby!!! And Ms. Sanders’ daily lies don’t make us feel miserable???!!! It’s truly astonishing that the gaslighting Republicans think that many Americans, including the press, can’t discern the truth that Trump and his entire administration are nothing but pathological liars. We’ve already mentioned the database of Trump’s lies being kept by the Washington Post’s Fact Checker. There’s also overwhelming video evidence of him lying!!! Just check Youtube! Of course, Trump and the Republicans have some help spreading their deceptions with their very own propaganda network, a.k.a. Fox News, which many of the christian sheeple follow without question, like the good little authoritarian automatons they are.

But as for Sarah Huckabee Sanders: we have no sympathy whatsoever for this women. She is nothing but a gargantuan hypocrite. Want to stop feeling bad, Ms. Sanders? Stop lying!!!

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah Huckabee Sanders whines about being called a liar, to which a friendly doctor advises her to stop lying.

A kindly doctor provides some friendly advice for whiny Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah Huckabee Sanders: STOP LYING!!!

The Ursula Of The White House

There are so many incompetent enablers in the Trump Administration’s White House, it truly is dizzying to contemplate and nauseating to live with. We’ve already commented on many but we’ve yet to talk about Press Secretary and Chief Prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders. We never thought she could outdo the previous Press Secretary, Sean ‘ Spicey’ Spicer, on bald faced lying to the public but as everything else with this clownish administration, new depths of ineptitude are explored and exceeded everyday.

Ms. Sanders is only thirty-five years old but owes her high profile job to the fact that she is Mike *uckabee’s daughter. Former Arkansas governor *uckabee was one of the clowns in the Con-a-thon 2016 Republican clown car and is a well known bible thumper. Trump’s been giving some of his fellow clowns, like Ben Carson and Rick Perry, high profile positions in his cabinet. So it’s really no surprise that he’s given the position to someone so vastly unqualified. Hey, look at Jared Kushner and Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.

Ms. Sanders should realize that according to her belief system, lying or bearing false witness is a sin and punishment by damnation in hell. We find it funny that she’s been wearing more and more makeup in her press briefings in an attempt to make her appear less repugnant. She should realize that her obsequious fealty to Trump, dishonesty and lack of integrity makes her more unsightly than Ursula from the Little Mermaid, whom she curiously resembles.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.

Trump administration Press Secretary and pathological prevaricator, Sarah *uckabee Sanders, bears a striking resemblance to beloved cartoon sea hag, Ursula.