Tag Archive for patriot

Rewind: Ashcroft’s Great Cover Up

March 9, 2023 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

After George W. Bush somehow won re-election in 2004, his Attorney General, bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft, decided to call it quits. As he left the Bush administration, we pondered in our November 21, 2004 issue over his greatest accomplishment (or embarrassment). This man is the only man to lose an election to a dead man in the Senate. Ashcroft championed the Patriot Act and warrantless wiretapping. But his prudishness was unbelievable. Ashcroft was just as uptight as ol’ Puritan Pants Mike Pence. Ashcroft spent eight thousand dollars to shield the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice because it showed a boob and he didn’t want to be pictured in front of such a display. American Taliban, indeed! We have no doubt that Ashcroft probably bathes in his long johns so as not to offend himself. What a priggish tool!

John Ashcroft's greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice.
John Ashcroft’s greatest accomplishment during his tenure as Attorney General was his spending $8,000 dollars to cover up the disgraceful nudity of the Spirit of Justice statue in the Hall of Justice.
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Rewind: The First Photo-Toons

January 22, 2023 bb_admin Dubya's Madcap Misadventures, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Wide World O' Wacky

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Our first post in our retrospective features our first two photo-toons from 2003. If you remember, we had just invaded and taken over Iraq. Saddam Hussein had eluded American forces and was on the run. On the legal front, the Patriot Act had been passed after 9/11 and was threatening all sorts of freedoms in the name of national security. The first toon from our June 19, 2003 issue features former Attorney General from the Bush era, authoritarian bible-thumper and Patriot Act cheerleader John Ashcroft showing off a proud purchase he made on that new website called E-bay. The second from our July 3, 2003 issue features former President and super sleuth George W. Bush boldly stating that he’ll leave no stone unturned in pursuit of Saddam Hussein, at least as long as Iraq’s leader isn’t in the same room. As you can see, our first photo-toons were simple photoshop jobbies with no word bubbles and basic, mildly humorous jabs. We’ve come a long ways since then.

Attorney General and bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft shows off the Vintage 1973 Playboy he won on eBay.
Attorney General and bible thumper extraordinaire John Ashcroft shows off the Vintage 1973 Playboy he won on eBay.
President Bush vows to leave no stone unturned in his quest to find Saddam Hussein.
President Bush vows to leave no stone unturned in his quest to find Saddam Hussein.
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Brand Recognition

July 15, 2016 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2016, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus, Wide World O' Wacky

On the eve of the Republican National Convention, a.k.a. The Finest Dumpster Fire The World Has Even Seen, the RNC is busy preparing themselves for what looks to be a complete clusterf*ck. Donald Trump seems to have selected Indiana governor, christian soldier and blandest man alive, Mike Pence, as his running mate. Many prominent Republicans are not even attending the convention, preferring to distance themselves from Mr. Trump. Given this, the Republican party has decided to officially assent to the rise of Trump by re-branding the party with a brand new logo which more properly reflects its current ideology: a steaming pile of patriotic shit (note the dead elephant’s trunk sticking out on top).

On the eve of the Republican convention, the GOP has revealed its brand new logo which more accurately represents its current ideology: a steaming pile of patriotic shit.

On the eve of the Republican convention, the GOP has revealed its brand new logo which more accurately represents its current ideology.

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World War III: Trumpocalypse Now

May 24, 2016 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2016, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, In Guns We Trust, Meme-ries, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

We’re not pulling any punches here at the Bucket. We are vehemently anti-Donald Trump. Sure Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect, but she is basically a centrist Democrat and a moderate Republican. Like our guy Bernie Sanders has said, even on her worst days, she’s still one thousand times better than Mr. Trump.

There are countless reasons to not elect GOP frontrunner Donald Trump president. So far, he’s been as fickle as the wind on foreign and domestic issues alike. Oh, it’s Tuesday, then he’s for punishing women for abortions. If it’s Wednesday’s and the wind’s from the northwest, then women shouldn’t be punished. He used to be for gun control, but now he’s all for everyone having guns everywhere. Other issues he’s been for and against: transgender bathroom usage, same-sex marriage, NATO, reducing the national debt, Planned Parenthood, violence for political gain, etc…

But probably the biggest reason not to elect this psychopath is his foreign policy experience. We can’t think of a more dangerous person to have his finger on the nuclear button than this egomaniacal, authoritarian rage monster. The thought should make every sane Americans blood run cold. Let’s take the recent incident when U.S. sailors ventured into Iranian waters and were taken prisoners. Within a day, thanks to diplomacy by the Obama administration, the sailors were released. But Mr. Trump wanted to get tough with Iran (and possibly start World War III), which will undoubtedly be a nuclear war. He’s already sending mixed messages on foreign war policy as well. He stated that the U.S. shouldn’t be involved in foreign wars. But then he turns around and says he’d carpet bomb ISIS and show force in Syria. Can you imagine the Donald handling incidents with North Korea, China, the Ukraine, the Middle East. Just the slightest provocation would send Trump to the nuclear button. He’s already said, he would use nuclear weapons. Who knows — if Mexico doesn’t agree to build the border wall that Trump wants, he may send a few warheads southward.

The bottom line is this; if a person is thinking about voting for Trump, then that person should be prepared to go to war themselves, or send their sons, daughters or grandchildren to war. And this war won’t be just any war. It will be World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump's new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump’s new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

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You Say ‘Patriot’, We Say Domestic Terrorist

January 6, 2016 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it, Wide World O' Wacky

What a way to kick off 2016! Some outraged, armed ‘patriots’ a.k.a. domestic terrorists have taken over the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon. According to the leader of this band of idiots (hilariously nicknamed by many Y’all Queda) , who is none other than Ammon Bundy, son of Cliven Bundy, who told us about ‘the Negro’ last year, these morons are taking over this land because it’s the people’s land, and by people they mean kin folk and other local ranchers and hunters who want free grazing and free hunting. Of course, he’s ignoring that the land was declared a refuge by none other than Theodore Roosevelt back in 1908 as a way to protect birds and wildlife from hunters who shot anything that moved. There’s a reason the federal government regulates things, especially in a designated wilderness area; because the ranchers and hunters leave things looking like shit. And another tidbit that is way too funny; these brainwaves appealed to the masses to send them snacks because apparently they forgot to plan ahead, despite saying they were going to stay ‘for years’. We’re hoping that the wildlife (or birdwatchers) rise up and give these idiots their much needed comeuppance.

A member of the Y'all Queda armed domestic terrorist group that has taken over Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, explains his viewpoint to a bald eagle resident who is not amused.

A member of the Y’all Queda armed domestic terrorist group that has taken over Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, explains his viewpoint to a resident of the Refuge, who is not amused.

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