Tag Archive for Cruz

New Republican Health Plan: Just Die Already!

As expected, one of the first actions of the new Trump administration and the GOP controlled Congress is to repeal the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare. This despite the fact that the ACA has helped millions to afford healthcare and repealing it would eliminate insurance coverage for an estimated 32 million people. Everyone agrees the ACA is not perfect, but it is a great first step to something better, the ideal being a single payer health care system and eliminating the health insurance companies completely.  In short, the ACA is working. Not only that, the Republicans have NOTHING to replace it.

But that won’t stop the Republicans from trying to repeal it…because…you know…Obama likes it.  It’s amazing, but there are some people who want to get rid of Obamacare and keep the ACA, not realizing that they are the same thing. Jimmy Kimmel proved this recently on a segment on his show. What does this show? It shows that the Republican Propaganda Machine, a.k.a. Fox News and the right wing media like Breitbart, Rush Limbaugh et al, have been enormously effective at disseminating false news and deceiving the American public. That and a lot of Americans are lacking in the ability to think critically. Want proof? Look who’s President now!

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his GOP lackeys, Lyin' Ted Cruz, Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell and Paul 'Jug Ears' Ryan have come up with a new health plan for all the sickos out there.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and his GOP lackeys, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell and Paul ‘Jug Ears’ Ryan have come up with ‘the best’ new health plan for all the sickos out there.

Benghazi? What’s Benghazi?

The Republicans sure picked the wrong symbol for their party logo because it seems that they’ve already forgotten about Benghazi. Two of the occupants of the Republican Clown Car this past year, smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, and Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016(oops he’s probably had new software installed, so Marcobot 2017), have introduced a bill that will cut funding for embassies throughout the world unless new American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump moves the American embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. This comes after three years of a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton about the Benghazi incident which resulted in no wrongdoing found and wasting millions of taxpayers dollars. Of course, Benghazi could have been prevented if more funding had been provided by the stingy Republicans in the first place.

So Republicans basically want to rinse and repeat their disastrous decisions (sound familiar – trickle down economics, tax cuts to the rich, etc…) which will result in more Benghazi like attacks in the future. But then again, Trump is in the White House so the neocon media circus will cover it up like they did the 13 Benghazi like incidents which occurred during the Bush administration.

We’re also thinking that ol’ Marcobot may have some defective chips in his circuitry or a defective operating system, because this legislation does not compute.

Smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, and Marcobot 2017, replete with defective logic and circuitry, guarantee further Benghazi like attacks with their idiotic bill that will cut funding for security 50 percent for embassies throughout the world.

Smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, and Marcobot 2017, replete with defective logic and circuitry, guarantee further Benghazi like attacks with their idiotic bill that will cut funding for security 50 percent for embassies throughout the world.

 

Spineless Ted Cruz

We know the first of the Presidential Debates was last night, but so much crap is happening, we’re having a hard time keeping up. We’ll be commenting on the debate results soon.

In a not so surprising move to us here at the Bucket, Ted Cruz endorsed authoritarian megalomaniac, Donald Trump, for President, which pretty much proves all those nasty things Trump and Cruz said to each other was political theater and absolute bullshit. It also proves that Ted Cruz doesn’t really have much integrity. We hope he enjoys cleaning up Trump’s trail of bullshit with Suckinupagus Chris Christie. Better get those waders out boys…it’s gonna get deep!

Donald Trump orders his new lackey Ted Cruz to help Suckinupagus Chris Christie clean his shorts- his undershorts.

Smuggest Senator alive and spineless suck-up, Ted Cruz, freely chooses a life of servile lackeydom to authoritarian megalomaniac and GOP nominee, Donald Trump.

 

Sticks And Stones

Thanks to the disastrous Trump campaign, we’re given on a daily basis such a plethora of gaffes and blunders to choose from, the satire just writes itself. Take for instance, Mike Pence recently stating that name calling has no place in politics; this from the Vice Presidential candidate of a man who’s made his living for the last year calling his opponents childish nick names like Lyin’ Ted, Little Marco and Low Energy Jeb Bush. We think ol’ Puritan Pants is a bit irony impaired.

Irony impaired GOP President and Vice President candidates, Trumpy McSmallHands and Puritan Pants blather on about how name cailling has no place in politics.

Irony impaired GOP President and Vice President candidates, Trumpy McSmallHands and Puritan Pants blather on about how name cailling has no place in politics.

The Puritan Party

Well, the RNC has come and gone and it’s been every bit a clusterf*ck as predicted. Some highlights(or lowlights): Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech – Trump’s campaign denied then admitted the fraud; the so called anti-Trump movement never really gets going; Pence bores everyone to sleep; a tepid endorsement from Paul Ryan; and the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, still licking his wounds from his defeat in the Republican primaries, refuses to endorse Donald Trump. When your top celebrity endorser is Scott Baio from Joanie Loves Chachi, you know it’s bad. To top it off, Trump delivered a lie filled acceptance speech in an effort to make his supporters shit their pants in fear.  Wow! What a sucky, sucky, suck ass Party!

But one thing that is incredibly disturbing is the platform adopted by the Republicans. It looks like it was written by extremist, far right wing, evangelical christians. You might as well call the Republican Party the Puritan Party now. Among the more dismaying platform points: appoint anti-choice Supreme Court justices; legalize anti-LGBT discrimination; pass an anti-choice constitutional amendment; end funding for Planned Parenthood; repeal environmental protection laws; ignore climate change; expand fracking and burying nuclear waste; privatize Medicare; cut food stamps; require bible study in public schools and (the worst one in our opinion) make christianity the national religion. Apparently, the Republicans want to go back to the ’50s…the 1650s! The Republican party platform also bears a strong resemblance to our fascist checklist we posted several months ago. If there was any doubt before there is no doubt now; with this party platform the Republican party has gone into hard core fascist mode.

Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone's Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.

Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone’s Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.

Paul Ryan: Man Of Integrity

The so called GOP stalwarts, who have so brazenly yelled what a monster Donald Trump is, are falling one by one to the bullying charms of this authoritarian megalomaniac. Bold men like Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio are now sycophantic bootlickers of the orange haired menace. The latest to cave in meekly to the Donald: Republican Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan.

We’ve never really taken to Mr. Ryan. During Con-a-thon 2012, when he was Spiff Romney’s vice-presidential candidate, we noted the several times he just flat out lied or was a complete hypocrite. (Here, here and here.)

Nothing’s changed really. For months, he claimed he wasn’t interested in taking over Speaker of the House for John Boehner and then suddenly …BOOM… he’s Speaker of the House. So I guess this latest development shouldn’t come as any surprise. Paul Ryan has been boldly stating (or conning) these past several months that he just can’t support Donald Trump. But after a ‘very important’ meeting this past week, Ryan now endorses Trump. What a man of integrity! Why shucky darn…with guys like Trump and Ryan leading the way, changing their points of view every time the wind blows, America’s sure to be great again in no time.

Jug eared Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, shows what a man of integrity he is by supporting someone he can't stand like Donald Trump much to the delight of one of his plutocratic overlords.

Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, shows what a man of integrity he is by supporting someone he can’t stand like Donald Trump much to the delight of one of his plutocratic overlords.

Trump: Jesus’ Twin?

One of the more perplexing things about the rise of Donald Trump is the support he’s getting from the evangelical christians. We thought for sure they would support supposed ‘savior’ Ted Cruz, but they have overwhelmingly come out in support of someone who is thrice married; a hedonist, morally bankrupt and has at best a sketchy knowledge of the bible. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we probably know more about the bible than Trump. Samantha Bee recently gave a hilarious analysis of the religious right evangelical’s seemingly hypocritical viewpoint. It’s definitely a lip diddler for us, folks. But then again, we can’t figure out how the hell Donald Trump is the GOP nominee for president.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admires his ideological twin, Donald Trump, for his greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted, and oppresive nature.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

The Con Of The Craven Cowards

We’re still trying to figure out the complete con being orchestrated by the Republican ‘establishment’ and their cohorts in crime, the corporate media. Their so called ‘astonishment’ of the rise of Donald Trump seems pretty disingenuous. So does their desire to stop Trump, especially when so many GOP candidates(like Rubio, Cruz and Kasich), who have stated how absolutely horrible he is, would in fact support him if he got the nomination. Now if some of the GOP ‘establishment’ came out endorsing Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton (who is basically a moderate Republican anyway), then maybe we’d believe them and they would earn our respect.

But in the mean time, GOP stalwarts like Lindsey Graham and 2012 Republican nominee Spiff Romney, have come forward and shown what craven cowards they are. Graham famously said back in January, after he left the race, that choosing between Trump and Cruz was like being shot or poisoned. And yet,Graham recently endorsed Ted Cruz. Spiff Romney, who recently came out strongly against Trump, also basically endorsed Cruz. Yep; nothing says integrity like saying how awful a person is and then turning around and supporting them.

Lindsey Graham and Spiff Romney choose the poison that is Ted Cruz to be the GOP nominee.

Former candidate, Lindsey Graham, and 2012 GOP nominee, Spiff Romney, have boldly demonstrated their integrity by endorsing the man they called Republican poison, Ted Cruz.

Feckless Frauds

Well folks, the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 drags on and it looks like the Republicans are choosing fascism over democracy, as Donald Trump racks up the delegates and the violent thugs. The con that is being pulled on the public not only by the Republican party but the complicit corporate media is mind boggling. The media is reporting that the Republicans are pulling out all the stops trying to stop the orange monster. Even 2012 GOP nominee, Mtt ‘Spiff’ Romney spoke out against the Donald, calling him a fraud. Yes, the Republicans are so concerned that Trump will be the nominee and in typical Republican fashion are blaming President Obama for the rise of Trump. That’s right; in the narrow conservative Republican’s viewpoint, it’s never the fault of a Republican.

But the thing is that while the ‘establishment’ and the remaining GOP candidates are attacking Trump, they’re also saying that they’ll support him if he becomes the GOP nominee. So the attacks on Trump being performed by Rubio, Kasich and Cruz are nothing but absolute, meaningless bullshit. Because no matter what they say, these feckless frauds are going to support this authoritarian megalomaniac for President anyway; just like everyone in the GOP ‘establishment’. Like P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Despite GOP candidates Cruz, Kasich and Marcobot 2016 attacking Donald Trump, they will fecklessly support him if he gets the Republican nomination.

Discerning GOP candidates Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Marcobot 2016, boldly criticize frontrunner Donald Trump as an orange monster but will courageously support him if he gets the Republican nomination.

Christie Sucks Up To Trump

Former GOP presidential candidate and Jersey boss, Chris Christie, did an about face this past weekend and endorsed Donald Trump, fueling speculation on why a so called ‘establishment’ candidate would endorse someone who eviscerated him so thoroughly during the debates. Just another wacky turn of events in the masquerade of democracy called Con-a-thon 2016.

Our favorite tidbit from this though is the supposed humiliation Christie received from Trump during a Tennessee rally, when a hot mic caught Donald Trump telling Christie to ‘Go Home‘. It’s mostly taken way out of context, but it’s still funny. But that’s what life will be like in America if Trump is elected President. Unless you give him your undivided, sycophantic support, he will trash you to no end. And then he’ll trash you for giving in to him; a no win situation…kinda like being in the mob.

Jersey boss Chris Christie hints around about a Vice Presidential appointment, while Donald Trump shoos him away from his spotlight.

GOP frontrunner Donald Trump shows his gracious appreciation to Jersey boss, Chris Christie, for his sycophantic endorsement.