Tag Archive for Ted Cruz

The New GOP Pinhead Clown

The fallout from the January 6th Capitol riots is still taking place as more and more citizen rioters have been rounded up. The QAnon shaman guy even did a TV interview and the guy who put his feet up in Nancy Pelosi’s office, whose nickname is ‘Bigo’, is complaining that he’s getting unfair treatment. Oh, boo hoo! That’s called punishment for trying to take over the government. It’s the law and order that conservative Republicans declare they want; you know, break the law – go to jail.

But that ‘Bigo’ guy does have a point. Why have none of his co-conspirators in Congress been brought to justice yet? The Republicans in the House and Senate voted to let Trump off the hook. Are the Democrats are willing to let Republicans like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and Tommy Tuberville off the hook, too? It’s true federal investigators have started examining communique between the rioters and U.S. lawmakers. But despite overwhelming video and audio evidence, nothing has been done yet. Hawley is especially appalling since he gave the rioters a big fist up on that January 6th morning, which caused one of his earliest supporters to regret his decision. But what is it about this Senator that makes him so annoying?

Well, it appears that Hawley wants to be the new Trump and is trying to position himself so he can win over Trump’s supporters for a possible Presidential bid in 2024. On January 6th, Hawley, Ted Cruz and Tommy Tuberville opening questioned the legitimacy of the 2020 election right before the riots occurred thus fanning the flames for the insurrectionists. As a result, his favorability has plummeted and he is viewed as a pariah. Sidenote: It’s funny that Republicans are crying now that Democrats need to show unity in the Senate when all the Republicans had to do to promote unity was accept the election results. The hypocrisy runs deep with the GOP.

Now that Merrick Garland has been confirmed he has promised that investigation into the Capitol riot will be given top priority. So maybe, just maybe, justice will be coming soon for the instigators like the new, GOP pinhead traitor clown Josh Hawley. We think treason would be an appropriate charge for this up and coming Republican doofus.

There's a new pinhead in the GOP circus named Josh Hawley and he's the Trumpiest clown of them all.
There’s a new pinhead in the GOP circus named Josh Hawley and he’s the Trumpiest clown of them all.

Coward Of The Country

Ted Cruz. Just saying the name brings a mixture of laughter and revulsion that is hard to describe. Over the past decade, he has cemented his status as the most hated American politician and yet . . . he’s still in Congress, just like other contemptible Republicans Lindsay Graham, Mitch McConnell, Thom Tillis, Susan Collins, etc…. But Ted Cruz, who started out as a Teabagger darling, is especially slimy. We’ve made many photo-toons about Cruz’s reprehensibility over the years but his recent actions have only reinforced his status.

Take his part in the Capitol riots on January 6th. He purposefully lent legitimacy to unfounded claims of voter fraud with fellow GOP corporate lackeys Josh Hawley and Tommy Tuberville (sounds like a kid’s show clown) opposing the legal election of Joe Biden. Then during Trump’s second impeachment trial, these seditionists voted that the petulant man child was innocent despite a 57-43 verdict and Mitch McConnell stating that the orange-haired megalomaniac was certainly responsible for inciting the riot. But Cruz is culpable. He could have promoted unity but instead insisted with his election fraud shenanigans thus egging on the easily triggered Trump troglodytes.

Cruz’s cowardice isn’t surprising considering that he opening ridiculed Trump in the 2016 presidential campaign, performed a 180 and smooched his gargantuan ass when he got the nomination despite Trump calling his wife ugly and saying his dad helped kill JFK.

But Cruz took his vileness to new levels in the past week. Texas suffered one of its worst winter storms on record with temperatures in the normally balmy state dipping down into single digits and snow accumulating across the entire state. Not only that, the power went out because the gas and coal plants weren’t weatherized properly, so people had to deal with rolling blackouts. Some even had to burn furniture or live in their cars. But Ted Cruz had a great solution . . . at least for him. Instead of showing leadership to his constituents, he did the very Republican thing of saying let them eat cake and flew off with his family to Cancun. Wow! The stupidity of this action is enormously stunning! What makes it even more damning for Cruz is that Alexandrea Ocasio-Cortez, who isn’t even from Texas, managed to not only raise millions of dollars for victims but also flew down and helped out. Way to go AOC!

Yes, Ted Cruz has proven himself to be many things; Senator, sycophant, seditionist, traitor and coward. Which begs the question – how and why the hell is he still in Congress?

Ted Cruz: Senator, sycophant, seditionist, traitor, coward.
Ted Cruz: Senator, sycophant, seditionist, traitor, coward.

Trump: Jesus’ Twin?


One of the more perplexing things about the rise of Donald Trump is the support he’s getting from the evangelical christians. We thought for sure they would support supposed ‘savior’ Ted Cruz, but they have overwhelmingly come out in support of someone who is thrice married; a hedonist, morally bankrupt and has at best a sketchy knowledge of the bible. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we probably know more about the bible than Trump. Samantha Bee recently gave a hilarious analysis of the religious right evangelical’s seemingly hypocritical viewpoint. It’s definitely a lip diddler for us, folks. But then again, we can’t figure out how the hell Donald Trump is the GOP nominee for president.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admires his ideological twin, Donald Trump, for his greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted, and oppresive nature.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

The Con Of The Craven Cowards

We’re still trying to figure out the complete con being orchestrated by the Republican ‘establishment’ and their cohorts in crime, the corporate media. Their so called ‘astonishment’ of the rise of Donald Trump seems pretty disingenuous. So does their desire to stop Trump, especially when so many GOP candidates(like Rubio, Cruz and Kasich), who have stated how absolutely horrible he is, would in fact support him if he got the nomination. Now if some of the GOP ‘establishment’ came out endorsing Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton (who is basically a moderate Republican anyway), then maybe we’d believe them and they would earn our respect.

But in the mean time, GOP stalwarts like Lindsey Graham and 2012 Republican nominee Spiff Romney, have come forward and shown what craven cowards they are. Graham famously said back in January, after he left the race, that choosing between Trump and Cruz was like being shot or poisoned. And yet,Graham recently endorsed Ted Cruz. Spiff Romney, who recently came out strongly against Trump, also basically endorsed Cruz. Yep; nothing says integrity like saying how awful a person is and then turning around and supporting them.

Lindsey Graham and Spiff Romney choose the poison that is Ted Cruz to be the GOP nominee.

Former candidate, Lindsey Graham, and 2012 GOP nominee, Spiff Romney, have boldly demonstrated their integrity by endorsing the man they called Republican poison, Ted Cruz.

Cruz Sez Diplomacy Is For Pussies

This past week, the Obama administration not only pulled off a prisoner exchange where they swapped 7 Iranians for 4 Americans who had been held for years on false charges, but they also got 10 U.S. Navy sailors, who had accidentally drifted into Iranian waters, released within one day. You’d think everyone, including the GOP, would be ecstatic over these displays of calm and cool diplomacy. But NOOOOOOOOOOO! The ridiculous, whining, crybaby Republican candidates for president did nothing but criticize the Obama administration saying the exchange made America look weak. Ted Cruz, Teabagger darling and the smuggest senator alive, even said that the only reason the sailors were taken in the first place was because of the weakness of Obama. Of course, the Republicans  would have started World War III and nuked them ’til they glowed because that’s what manly men do. Screw life on earth, there are gargantuan egos and pride at stake. Yes, there’s nothing like administering 19th century, ‘wild west’ philosophy in the 21st century.

Ted Cruz declares that diplomacy is for pussies and that he'd nuke Iran unitl they glowed.

GOP candidate and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, gives Americans a hint at what foreign policy would be like during a possible Cruz presidency.

 

Christian Terrorists? What Christian Terrorists?

This past weekend, an anti-choice, conservative, religious zealot, Robert Dear, barricaded himself inside a Planned Parenthood clinic and killed three people and injured nine others. If that wasn’t unsettling enough, take into account the aftermath of this tragedy. As one could predict, the media is being incredibly stupid, postulating on what his possible motive could be despite his grumbling the phrase “no more baby parts” as he was being jailed. This was in line with Republicans, who also took the Sgt. Schultz approach. (Christian Terrorists? What christian terrorists?) Probably the most inane comment was by the smuggest Senator alive and GOP candidate, Ted Cruz, who said there was nothing linking him to the anti-abortion stance (pay no attention to the “no more baby parts” statement) and that he was a “transgendered leftist activist” and not a crazed anti-abortionist, right wing, christian terrorist. The wife of Dear even said he was conservative , religious and anti-abortion. But in Ted Cruz’s demented world vision, we need to be very afraid of people like Laverne Cox, Kaitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono, who seem to be pretty docile and friendly people. And this clown, Cruz, wants to be President.

This was obviously a politically motivated shooting and it shows how the Republican rhetoric toward defunding Planned Parenthood has created a toxic attitude toward the important organization, which provides vital reproductive and counseling services to women. We’ve mentioned before the lies and deceptions by the conservative media and Carly Fiorina concerning Planned Parenthood.  When the media and right wing conservative politicians fail to quell the hatred but instead incite it, then they should be held accountable. For instance, Ted Cruz recently crowed about an endorsement for his campaign from Troy Newman,who has openly endorsed violence against abortion providers. Another wack-a-doodle GOP candidate, Mike Huckabee, likened Planned Parenthood to ISIS. Of course, everyone of these ‘pro-lifers’ are totally for starting wars in the Middle East, which will kill thousands of people in the process. Pro-life indeed! And everyone of these ‘freedom loving conservatives’ are for getting government out people’s lives, except when it comes to women’s reproductive systems, then by all means let’s monitor their vaginas and uteri 24/7. Hypocrites indeed!

Ted Cruz says Robert Dear was a trangendered activist, while the media remains clueless about his motivation despite the shooter saying 'no more baby parts.'

Top notch sleuth and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, offers the pliant media a possible solution to the mystery of why Robert Dear attacked Planned Parenthood.

Hypocritical Oaf

Remember when Hurricane Sandy devastated the East Coast back in 2012, killing 117 people and causing an estimated 65 billion dollars in damage.  Millions of people were left in need of federal assistance to recover. But fortunately for conservative Republicans, a brash young tea party hellcat named Ted Cruz voted against a disaster relief bill for victims of the horrendous storm.

Fast forward to this past week and Ted Cruz is demanding President Obama and congress provide disaster relief for the victims of the recent calamitous flooding in Texas which claimed 15 lives. Remember, Ted Cruz is running for president so he has to appear to his fellow Texans like he gives a damn about them. If he keeps this up, he’ll out flip-flop Spiff Romney.

Teabagger patriot, climate change denier, staunch anti-socialist and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, proclaims that despite being against federal assistance for disaster victims, President Obama should send federal aid to Texas flood victims because...you know...Ted Cruz wants to be president.

Teabagger patriot, climate change denier, staunch anti-socialist and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, proclaims that despite being against federal assistance for disaster victims, President Obama should send federal aid to Texas flood victims because...you know...Ted Cruz wants to be president.

 

Cotton, Cotton; This Guy’s Rotten

We’re all familiar now with the name of Tom Cotton, the brash young Senator from Arkansas who stupidly authored a letter signed by 47 idiotic Republican Senators to the leaders of Iran behind President Obama’s back thus putting his negotiations with Iran on a possible nuclear deal in jeopardy and also committing treason. Well the wing nut Teabaggers in the Republican leadership are already trying to clear the way for a Cotton presidency in 2020. Yes, Cotton makes Teabagger darling Ted Cruz look good by comparison. Maybe that’s what the Republican plan is: to keep coming up with more insane candidates to make the previous lunatic look sane by comparison. Shut down the government; run for President. Commit treason; run for President. Just another day in the wacky, wonderful world of the GOP!

Senator Tom Cotton, checks with his insanity mentor, Ted Cruz, to see if he 'dun gud'.

Author of the Iran Letter, Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, checks with his insanity mentor, Ted Cruz, on his job performance.

Speaking of stupidity, Ted Cruz has announced his candidacy for President in 2016 but apparently didn’t have the foresight to secure the domain name tedcruz.com. Yes, what a great leader he’ll be. Here’s a screenshot of the site tedcruz.com as of today. Hilarious!

tedcruz.com

tedcruz.com supports President Obama.

NASA On Cruz Control

From the ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ file…anti-science enthusiast and the smuggest human alive, Ted Cruz, has been named chair of the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. Gee, what better person to put in charge of Science than a religious, nut case, teabagger who is ‘skeptical of the scientific theory’ of global warming, this despite a consensus of 97% of climate scientists that climate change is happening. With a man like Cruz, who barely believes in gravity, you can kiss NASA goodbye, even though he claims he’ll increase funding for NASA. Maybe he’ll put creationist, Ken Ham, in charge of NASA. The hijinx would really start then! We think, NASA should invite Senator Cruz on board a test flight and ‘accidentally’ shoot him into space. That would be a win for Planet Earth.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz calls himself Mr. Science and names Creation Museum founder, Ken Ham, as head of NASA.

Teabagger darling and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, promises he'll remake NASA and science to his and his religious supporters' liking.

 

GOP’s Pyrrhic Victory

On Wednesday, Congress finally made a deal to fund the government and increase the debt limit, which was clearly a victory for President Obama and the Democrats. Right? Not so fast, America. Shutdown architect and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, declared that the shutdown was a great victory…for the Republicans???!!! Ah yes! The delusion continues…

Teabagger patriot and smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, basks in the glow of his recent accomplishments.