Rewind: Dubya’s Office Of Lessons Learned

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Back to our 20th anniversary retrospective . . .

Let’s return to those halcyon days of 2006, not long after the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, when good ol’ Dubya gave a press conference. When asked about what lessons he’s learned in his five years in office, the eternal bumbler couldn’t even answer the question correctly because he learned absolutely nothing. Here’s an article from our August 11, 2006 edition.

Bush Office of Lessons Learned Small, Empty

Last week, a group of tourists was shocked to find that the Bush Administration’s Office of Lessons Learned, was not only empty but just a closet in the basement of an office building across from the White House.

“Wow what a shocker!” said tourist John Melbourne from Little Rock, Arkansas. “I was completely surprised. I came to Washington D.C. to see three things; the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and this office and it’s just a dark, dank, closet full of brooms, mops and roach traps. What a gyp!”

“Oh, I was sure upset,” said Gloria Hale from Berryville, Illinois. “I figured with all the mistakes Bush has made these past five years; you know, Iraq, Afghanistan, allowing torture, illegal wiretapping, secrecy in government, the gargantuan deficit, no affordable healthcare, the Medicare drug program, high gas prices, the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, the Middle East crisis, ignoring global warming, dismantling environmental regulation, tax cuts to the rich, stacking the courts with conservative ideologues, ruining America’s standing with the rest of the world. I thought there would be a building the size of the Pentagon filled to the rafters with documents. Instead we get this little closet. There wasn’t even a waste basket in it. What a gyp!”

Dave Rogers from St. Louis, Missouri said, “I wasn’t completely disappointed. We did manage to see the director of the Office of Lessons Learned Stuart Baker get into his BMW and drive away, though. Did you know he makes over $100k a year? Who did he blow to get that job, eh? Ah, who am I kidding? What a gyp!”

When asked about the Office of Lessons Learned, President Bush said, “Oh that’s old screwy Stuey’s office. Fortunately, we haven’t had to use that office very much during my time as President, since I don’t make mistakes. But I will say old Stuey’s doing a heckuva job!”

GOP Baby Factories – a.k.a. Women

The right-wing dominated Supreme Court has shown their true intentions about abortion rights by recently letting stand severe abortion bans in Texas and Mississippi. We’ve been screaming about their intentions for years here at the Bucket. States with Republican leadership ranging from bible thumping states like South Dakota and Alabama to our home state of Arizona have been slowly chipping away at abortion rights over the last twenty years. Religious zealots have seized control of state and federal government and forced their horribly archaic, first century viewpoints upon the citizenry of the country because these holy huckster bible thumpers still view the woman as nothing more than a baby factory. If these people were truly pro-life, they’d realize that the woman’s life should come first. But then hypocrisy does seem to be commonplace with these sheeple. They claim to be pro-life but then fervently support gun rights. They claim to be pro-life but then violently protest getting a life saving vaccine against a disease that has claimed over 800,000 people in the US and over 5 million word wide.

We’re re-posting a photo-toon from January 11, 2006 when ol’ Dubya nominated Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. This was the beginning of the end because since then, Alito, Thomas, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett (the Handmaiden’s Justice) have formed a staunch conservative religious bloc on the court that not only wants to force women through unwanted pregnancies but also to knock down the wall between church and state, thus forcing all of us to adhere to outdated, biblical philosophy whether we like it or not. Like we’ve stated before, we’re regressing rapidly toward America becoming the Holy Corporate Empire.

Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool (a wire hanger)which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he's on the bench.
Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito displays the only tool which will enable a woman to terminate a pregnancy once he’s on the bench.

Bush’s Forever War

Like we mentioned in our previous post, one of the disturbing events which happened this summer was the media’s treatment of the United States’ withdrawal from the Afghanistan quagmire after twenty long frustrating years. The Taliban quickly regained controlled of the country from the sham government propped up by the U.S. and the corporate main stream media was quick to blame everything on Joe Biden despite twenty years of missteps from not only the Bush and TFG administrations but also the Obama White House.

Most Americans seem to be correctly blaming the Bush administration for the failures. But they also blame Biden which is completely wrong. Granted, the withdrawal did not go smoothly. But was that Biden’s fault? We think not. For one thing, the media seemed to gloss over the fact that TFG not only released thousands 5,000 Taliban prisoners while he was in office, he also scheduled the withdrawal immediately in 2021. Biden had only six months to make sure the very weak government of Afghanistan was in order before withdrawal thanks to TFG’s schedule. Don’t forget, TFG wasn’t too smooth with the withdrawal from Syria leaving the Kurds high and dry against not only their adversaries in Syria but also Turkey.

There have been a multitude of failures over the past twenty years in Afghanistan. After killing Osama Bin Laden, Obama had the opportunity to exit the country where empires go to die but failed to do so. The number of snafus committed by the Bush administration are legion. We never should have gotten involved in the first place. We didn’t learn our lessons from Vietnam and thanks to ol’ clueless Dubya, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and the war mongering, conservative Republicans, we ended up repeating the very same mistakes, all to make money for the military industrial complex. Considering that TFG always bitched about Bush, why didn’t he withdraw from Afghanistan during his administration? Because the Republican’s modus operandi is to boldly go nation building in impossible countries half way around the globe knowing full well that it will be impossible to leave and when Democrats get elected to clean things up, they will receive the blame, just like Biden did.

Like we said in the previous post, the corporate main stream media will throw anybody under the bus if it means money and ratings and right now they are pushing right wing talking points which are false and misleading. Biden made some mistakes, but the blame for the Afghanistan quagmire, just like the Iraq clusterf*ck falls firmly on the George W. Bush administration. Thanks Dubya! At least you’re painting pictures now instead of making more forever wars.

Much to the delight of former President George W. Bush, his buddies in the corporate main stream media have blamed current President Joe Biden for Dubya's failures in the Afghanistan quagmire.
Much to the delight of former President George W. Bush, his buddies in the corporate main stream media have blamed current President Joe Biden for Dubya’s failures in the Afghanistan quagmire.

All Hail Clueless Leader

The crap is spewing forth fast and furiously from the flak generator that is the Trump administration and its drooling lackeys at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network. And with every new report, America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump looks more and more like he should be the occupant of a rubber room instead of the Oval Office.

Our megalomaniac, clueless Leader has recently been touting how horrible life will be in Joe Biden’s America, regularly pointing to protests against racial injustice and police brutality that sometimes turn deadly as in the case of the Kenosha, Wisconsin shooting where a Trump supporting teenager crossed state lines to shoot people. But like the linked article above says, “Whatever might happen under Biden, this quite literally is happening under Trump”. Or in other words, Trump is projecting like he’s done during his whole clusterf*ck of a presidency.

Trump has even openly encouraged this chaos. Earlier this year he urged supporters to liberate their respective states over mask mandates. This past week, he rambled on and on about ‘dark shadows’ in an incoherent interview with a loud, annoying, blonde journalist (we refuse to mention this vile witch’s name) on Fox News. Videos have surfaced where Trump has proclaimed that protesters will use ‘bags of soup’ as weaponry against police. Trump has encouraged his followers to vote twice while campaigning in North Carolina and Pennsylvania, two swing states that are leaning toward Biden in the polls. But probably the most damning piece of Trump’s insanity is the revelation that he considers soldiers who were captured or killed in action ‘suckers’ and ‘losers’. We have no doubt this is true because, as the article in the Atlantic mentions, he showed the same disrespect for the late John McCain about being a POW, the late George H.W. Bush about being shot down in WWII and his own Chief of Staff John Kelly about his son serving and dying in Afghanistan.

What’s even more disturbing is that the event where Trump muttered his repugnant remarks happened in 2018 and we’re just now hearing about it. People who knew about his statements sat on it for two years, doing nothing. Why was this information not reported immediately? Why was this information not mentioned when Trump was getting impeached? The whole Trump presidency and his vile supporters in government and the corporate media stink like a sewer in a fetid swamp. Trump is dangerously inept and just as inane are the Republicans who won’t stand up to him or cower in the shadows doing nothing. The American people need to restore democracy to America and vote Trumpty Dumpty and his sycophantic enablers out of office on November 3rd.

America's Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump shows the electorate once again what a stable genius he is.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump shows the electorate once again what a stable genius he is.

Douchey Advice

As we’ve mentioned before, coronavirus cases have spiked throughout the Sun Belt with record numbers of cases for one day being recorded in many states. One of the hardest hit states has been our home state of Arizona. Our state was doing fine at the beginning of May. We had kept our numbers down, businesses were closed, people were social distancing and wearing masks. Then Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump visited a mask factory in Phoenix without wearing a mask. Trumpty Dumpty had some words with Arizona’s super-duper-businessman-turned-governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) and yada, yada yada, restrictions were removed and in the past two weeks COVID-19 cases have spiked dramatically, almost tripling since Memorial Day. To give you an indication of how dramatic, Arizona was holding at 23rd in the nation in mid-May, just barely ahead of Wisconsin, who just held their stupid anti-lockdown protest. Now, Arizona is 15th and on the fast track to 13th and a whopping 22,000 cases more than Wisconsin.

You’d think Ducey would reconsidering reopening or at least mandate wearing a mask in public but nooooooooooo. Our douchey governor recently stated that Arizonans are just going to have to get use to the coronavirus. Wear a mask, if you think it’s wise, or in other words, consumer beware. What a douchebag! Fortunately, for Arizonans, local municipalities are looking into mask-wearing mandates since Ducey seems reluctant to. . . you know. . . be a leader. Ducey can’t seek re-election in 2022 because of term limits. But unfortunately, we’ve got two more years of this Trump asskisser, who’s done absolutely nothing for this state other than typical Republican shit: rip away at regulations in order to privatize federal lands and services thus starving the government for the good of corporate America and the plutocrats who control it. His now dismal legacy on coronavirus may finally lift the stranglehold the GOP has had on this state since the 1960s.

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) receives some poignant advice from the master at ignoring problems, Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump.
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) receives some poignant advice from the master at ignoring problems, Impeached CEO/Dictator and stable genius Donald Trump.

Rewind: Bush’s Pinocchio AG

The Trump impeachment inquiry grinds onward but last week, the 2nd worst president of our lifetime, George W. Bush, a.k.a. Dubya, reappeared in the national arena when a football broadcast showed talk show host Ellen DeGeneres palling around with ol’ Dub Dub, who supported at one time a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage, at a Dallas Cowboy’s game in luxury seats. This has sparked much controversy, some celebrities being supportive of Ellen’s new buddy and others, like Mark Ruffalo, not so supportive. Given how much we’ve griped about Dubya since 2003, we tend to agree with Ruffalo’s statements. In fact. we say Bravo!

We’ve noted before about the recent normalization of Dubya’s clusterf*cked administration now that Trump is in office. Make no mistake, Bush was awful! His administration tried to undermine rule the law just like Trump is doing now because. . . you know . . . that’s what Republicans do. Dubya lied repeatedly to the public and his Attorney General Alberto Gonzales did for Bush what Bill Barr is doing for the orange haired, megalomaniac man child in the White House. Remember, Gonzales tried to fire federal prosecutors back in 2007 for political purposes. He also had a litany of other controversies, which eventually led to his resignation. That’s just part of the Republican’s eternal blue print to destroy government regulations (or laws!) and privatize everything for the good of the plutocrats of corporate America.

We recommend that everybody review the history of these conservative Republican con artists from the Bush era. They should be held accountable but instead people choose to forget. We like Ellen. But it’s too bad that she is so willing to look past Dubya’s war crimes, because he should be held accountable for them. But, in true conservative fashion, Bush has not apologized and will never apologize for his transgressions, because in his mind, conservatives never make mistakes and to admit a wrongdoing is a sign of weakness. Sound like anybody currently occupying the White House?

Well, in America, we guess when you’re a rich celebrity, money trumps everything else. Who cares if you tortured people and started a war on false pretenses that screwed up the entire Middle East. Let’s enjoy a football game together in luxury seats because we’re famous and wealthy. What Ellen should have done was to offer up her seat to one of the many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who lost limbs or who are suffering from PTSD. Better yet, why don’t Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and all those other millionaires and plutocrats who profited from those wars pay all the medical costs for those veterans who are now suffering. Nope; like everything else, we the people end up paying for everything while the wealthy skate away with their money without a care in the world and without accountability.

Here’s photo-toon featuring Dubya and Fredo ‘Pinocchio’ Gonzales from our June 26, 2007 issue.

President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate's investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year.
President Bush continues to support his embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, despite calls for his resignation from both Democrats and Republicans, following his dubious testimony during the Senate’s investigation into the possible politically motivated dismissals of eight federal prosecutors last year.

Let Them Get A Loan

Wow! Is Wilbur Ross clueless or what?! We’ve commented before about the Secretary of Commerce’s absolute lack of knowledge about foreign countries like Saudi Arabia. But this inane plutocrat showed off a stunning lack of empathy or insight into the plight of the average American, many who are living paycheck to paycheck. As the Trump government shutdown has dragged on for over a month, many federal employees were working for free! Some were having difficulties paying their mortgages, bills or even feeding their families.

Enter Wilbur Ross, spoiled plutocrat. Last week during the Trump government shutdown, Wilbuuuuurrr noted that instead of standing in line for food, federal workers ought to suck it up and go get a nice low interest loan while their not getting their paychecks. What sound financial advice! That’s right, poor person. Go try and get a loan that you probably can’t get because you’re already in debt up to your eyeballs. While you’re at it, maybe  get a loan for a yacht or maybe even by that dream cottage in the Hamptons. What a compassionate conservative!

This was Wilbuuuuurrr’s ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ moment and we think good ol’ Mr. Ed would probably be able to explain it best to this insipid, uncaring, out of touch bonehead of a plutocrat.

Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and 'compassionate' conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump's government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.
Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and ‘compassionate’ conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump’s government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.

Turtle Boy’s Disappearing Act

Senate Majority Leader and mutant Turtle Boy, Mitch McConnell, has once again pulled his patented disappearing act during the current record setting Trump government shutdown, which is coming up on the one month mark. We’ve remarked before on Turtle Boy’s uncanny ability to avoid responsibility when news first emerged about Russia’s involvement with the Trump campaign in December 2016. And who can forget after the 2012 election, the talks to avoid the dreaded fiscal cliff. We usually don’t like to repeat photo-toons, but when we got one that works, we stick with it.

McConnell refuses to act as a leader of the Senate and stand up to Trump. He has twice blocked votes against ending the shutdown. Apparently Turtle Boy doesn’t care about the government workers scraping by to pay their mortgages (or food) and working for free because hey…it ain’t hurting him. What a compassionate conservative! He’s also up for re-election in 2020 and since Trump is more popular than he is in Kentucky, he has courageously disappeared and decided not to rock the boat. Way to go, Turtle Boy!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, boldly performs his patented turtle act to avoid any responsibility for ending the record setting Trump government shutdown.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, boldly performs his patented turtle act to avoid any responsibility for ending the record setting Trump government shutdown.

DeVos: Secretary Of MisEducation

Like every week in the Trump era, there is just an ungodly amount of shit to process. We’ve had a Rexit already this week, more Stormy Daniels news and the GOP in the House completely lost all credibility by pronouncing that Russia didn’t collude with Trump in the 2016 election. But also, Secretary of Education (or MisEducation), Betsy DeVos gave a universally panned interview with 60 minutes Saturday where she exposed her incompetence for all to see. It’s truly stunning to see such ineptitude on a national level but hey…this is the Trump administration.

Trump’s cabinet is truly a clusterf*ck of clowns – Pruitt, Zinke, Perry, Carson, etc… The scary thing is that while Trump provides cover with hourly feats of colossal stupidity, the underlings, like DeVos, are quietly dismantling our government. Like we’ve said before, the Republicans don’t want small government, they want no government.

Betsy DeVos explains that funding schools less will lead to improvement is as obvious as 2+2=5, Detroit is capital of Michigan and Donald Trump is the bestest president ever.
Secretary of (Mis)Education, Betsy DeVos, explains in elementary terms how truly incompetent she is.

GOP: The Government Wrecking Machine

The big news this past week was the government shutdown which showed to all how inept the Republicans are and how truly spineless the Democrats are and how truly screwed the American people are. The Republicans control the House, Senate and White House and yet couldn’t agree to anything. The Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, caved on DACA and immigration. We’ve mentioned before here at the Bucket, how we think that the Democrats and Republicans are just good-cop, bad-copping the people of America so that their corporate overlords can make ungodly amounts of money at the taxpayers expense. The latest tax bill sure benefits the rich at the expense of the rest of us. And the stock market taking off clearly indicates that Americans are beholden now to corporate interests: you better please Wall Street or else.

Of course, the Republicans are conning the nation like they’ve been since the days of Nixon; they truly put the CON in CONservative. They keep preaching that they’re the party of small government. But their actions tell a different tale. In addition to the shutdown of the government, which the Republicans didn’t really mind, just like 2013, all of Trump’s executive orders reversing the much needed regulations on industry and the generous tax bill, which pretty much kills any government income, seem to show that the Republicans don’t just want small government, they want NO GOVERNMENT! It’s no secret they want to privatize everything including infrastructure, social security and medicare and dismantle any government agencies which may provide protection for the average American citizen, like the Consumer Financial Protection Agency or the Environmental Protection Agency. This is a complete seizure of power by corporate America and their willing lackeys in congress who will bring down the government from the inside. Ladies and gentlemen; this is what a corporate oligarchy and fascism looks like.

The Republicans don't want small government, they want no government.
Thanks to the Republican party and American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, Americans don’t have to be bothered with the burden of a democratic government and stupid things like laws and regulation.