Tag Archive for workers

Rewind: Lunch Break Lotto

December 26, 2021 bb_admin Articles:Corporate BS

We were scanning through our archives recently and we noticed this article about the foibles of working in corporate America from our January 11, 2006 issue. You see, workers have been getting screwed for some time now and, unfortunately, this article still works for today like it did in 2006. The beat goes on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Juggermart Holds Exciting New Lottery For Lunch Breaks


In response to recent court cases complaining of its employees not being able to take lunch breaks, retail giant Juggermart, has announced a new lottery for employees to ‘win’ full half hour lunch breaks.

Lawrence T. Juggers, President and CEO of Juggermart, explained the new system. “This lottery will allow five employees per store the chance to have a full half hour lunch break for the day. A full half hour lunch break! This is great news for the employees who win. This means the lucky employee will not only be able to choke down their tuna fish sandwich, but he’ll also be able to wash it down with a refreshing beverage from one of our store soda vending machines, where every drinks sell for the low, low price of $1.00 for a 12 ounce can. The employees who don’t win will continue to get their regular ten minutes, not including rest room break. The employee will also be required to purchase their lottery ticket at the low, low price of two dollars per ticket. I mean who wouldn’t want a full half hour lunch break? With this fantastic program, geared for today’s worker, nobody can say that I’m not generous.”

Consumer advocate Clarence Simons said, “This is an outrage! Not only does Juggermart pay barely above minimum wage to it’s employees and forces them to work over forty hours a week without extra pay, they’re now stuffing this down the employee’s throat. Pretty soon the workers in this country will have no recourse whatsoever. I don’t know how Lawrence T. Juggers can sleep at night. If they didn’t have such low, low prices, I’d never shop there again.”

Employees had mixed reaction to the new ‘Lunch Lotto’ promotion. Sales clerk Dale McDougall at the Ft. Dinsdale, New Jersey store, said, “Well it would be nice to have a enough time to eat a sandwich. And to have a bathroom break so I don’t have to hold my pee all day long. And to have health care. And to see my wife and kids during waking hours. And to be able to pay my mortgage, even though I’m working seventy hours a week. But I’m just a lowly sales clerk. I’m sure Mr. Juggers knows what’s good for me better than I do.”

Cashier Fern Stack, of Juggermart’s Blythe, California store, said, “So let me get this straight. We have to pay two goddamn dollars for the lottery ticket and only five employees per store per day win a measly half hour lunch break while the rest of the employees continue to get ten friggin’minutes . . . as long as Juggermart keeps its low, low prices, I’m good!”

Store greeter Lou Farmer at the Winchester, Mississippi store, said “I’ve always wondered what it was like being a slave like my great-great-great grandfather. Now I know. Thanks Juggermart!”

Stock clerk Bessy Kuhlander at the Poedunk, Iowa store, said, “Oh, boy. I think it is a great idea. Mr. Juggers has certainly shown me why he is the boss. What a generous man. I sure hope I’m able to win the ‘Lunch Lotto’ one day and get a whole half hour to eat my lunch. I certainly hope Mr. Juggers remembers my kind words when he is filling the position of head stock clerk.”

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Let Them Get A Loan

January 28, 2019 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

Wow! Is Wilbur Ross clueless or what?! We’ve commented before about the Secretary of Commerce’s absolute lack of knowledge about foreign countries like Saudi Arabia. But this inane plutocrat showed off a stunning lack of empathy or insight into the plight of the average American, many who are living paycheck to paycheck. As the Trump government shutdown has dragged on for over a month, many federal employees were working for free! Some were having difficulties paying their mortgages, bills or even feeding their families.

Enter Wilbur Ross, spoiled plutocrat. Last week during the Trump government shutdown, Wilbuuuuurrr noted that instead of standing in line for food, federal workers ought to suck it up and go get a nice low interest loan while their not getting their paychecks. What sound financial advice! That’s right, poor person. Go try and get a loan that you probably can’t get because you’re already in debt up to your eyeballs. While you’re at it, maybe  get a loan for a yacht or maybe even by that dream cottage in the Hamptons. What a compassionate conservative!

This was Wilbuuuuurrr’s ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ moment and we think good ol’ Mr. Ed would probably be able to explain it best to this insipid, uncaring, out of touch bonehead of a plutocrat.

Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and 'compassionate' conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump's government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.

Talking horse and connoisseur of the name Wilbuuuuurrr, Mr. Ed, explains to Secretary of Commerce and ‘compassionate’ conservative plutocrat, Wilbuuuuurrrr Ross, that his suggestion to federal workers, who are barely squeaking by during Trump’s government shutdown, that they should just suck it up and get a loan was colossally clueless.

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What A Bunch Of Suckers

March 27, 2017 bb_admin America's CEO/Dictator, Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Let Them Eat Cake, Meme-ries, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

With the recent failure of the Republican Healthcare Plan or the American Health Care Act or Ryancare or Trumpcare, you would think that more of the people who voted for Trump would be realizing that he isn’t what he claimed to be. Although Trump’s approval numbers are abysmal, he’s still popular with most of his base. We’ve noted before that he is the master bait and switcher and that a few Trumpeters have come to the conclusion, albeit way too slowly, that the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), while certainly not perfect or ideal, is actually a good thing and a good first step to what this country really needs: single payer health care.

So it brings us back to our continual bewilderment which we’ve talked about ad infinitum before: how the hell such an obvious con artist like Trump won the election. Why would anyone who made under 100k a year vote for a man who obviously supports the rich and wealthy and has proven it so far in his administration? He has loaded his cabinet with billionaire plutocrats and people whose only interest is in the well being of corporations, their stockholders and their own investment portfolios. His failed healthcare plan gave tax relief to the richest Americans. He’s admitted that his proposed tax plan would favor the wealthy. He’s also just signed a bill which repeals protection for workers from wage theft from unscrupulous employers, proving that in any given conflict, he will side with the rich executives and not the middle class and poor workers. But this isn’t just characteristic of Trump, the whole Republican party has been relentlessly cruel to the poor.  But yet the workers of this country continue deluding themselves that they’re temporarily embarrassed millionaires and worship the selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra- materialistic, ultra-competitive assholes who populate the GOP.

So what do you call people who make less than 100k a year and yet vote for Republicans: Suckers!

What do you call people who make less than 100k a year and vote Republican: Suckers!

Many Trump and Republican supporters must face the ugly truth: they’re a bunch of suckers.

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