Rewind: Dubya’s Office Of Lessons Learned

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Back to our 20th anniversary retrospective . . .

Let’s return to those halcyon days of 2006, not long after the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, when good ol’ Dubya gave a press conference. When asked about what lessons he’s learned in his five years in office, the eternal bumbler couldn’t even answer the question correctly because he learned absolutely nothing. Here’s an article from our August 11, 2006 edition.

Bush Office of Lessons Learned Small, Empty

Last week, a group of tourists was shocked to find that the Bush Administration’s Office of Lessons Learned, was not only empty but just a closet in the basement of an office building across from the White House.

“Wow what a shocker!” said tourist John Melbourne from Little Rock, Arkansas. “I was completely surprised. I came to Washington D.C. to see three things; the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and this office and it’s just a dark, dank, closet full of brooms, mops and roach traps. What a gyp!”

“Oh, I was sure upset,” said Gloria Hale from Berryville, Illinois. “I figured with all the mistakes Bush has made these past five years; you know, Iraq, Afghanistan, allowing torture, illegal wiretapping, secrecy in government, the gargantuan deficit, no affordable healthcare, the Medicare drug program, high gas prices, the Hurricane Katrina fiasco, the Middle East crisis, ignoring global warming, dismantling environmental regulation, tax cuts to the rich, stacking the courts with conservative ideologues, ruining America’s standing with the rest of the world. I thought there would be a building the size of the Pentagon filled to the rafters with documents. Instead we get this little closet. There wasn’t even a waste basket in it. What a gyp!”

Dave Rogers from St. Louis, Missouri said, “I wasn’t completely disappointed. We did manage to see the director of the Office of Lessons Learned Stuart Baker get into his BMW and drive away, though. Did you know he makes over $100k a year? Who did he blow to get that job, eh? Ah, who am I kidding? What a gyp!”

When asked about the Office of Lessons Learned, President Bush said, “Oh that’s old screwy Stuey’s office. Fortunately, we haven’t had to use that office very much during my time as President, since I don’t make mistakes. But I will say old Stuey’s doing a heckuva job!”

Rewind: Master Dubya

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Iraq War was a complete clusterf*ck and the Bush Administration was responsible for everything that went wrong with that ill-advised war. One of the more unsettling events that occurred during the early days of occupation was that American soldiers tortured Iraqis at the infamous Abu-Ghraib facilities and then Bush Admin officials denied that they did. (Hmmm. Republicans f*cking up, gaslighting and avoiding consequences. Some things never change, eh.)

Here’s our DubToon from our September 17, 2006 issue featuring Master Dubya convincingly denying the use of torture.

“We do not condone torture. I have never ordered torture. I will never order torture. The values of this country are such that torture is not a part of our soul and our being.”
George W. Bush
06-22-2004
Master George W. Bush convincingly denies that America uses torture on Iraqi citizens.
“America does not torture…except for waterboarding, attack dogs, electrodes to genitals…”

They’ll Be Dancing…Dancing On His Grave

In addition to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s vendetta rampage following his ‘acquittal’ by the spineless Republicans sans Spiff Romney, Trump also found it fitting to give a presidential Medal of Freedom to none other than Rush Limbaugh, a.k.a. Boss Limhogg, who recently announced he had advanced lung cancer, most probably due to his lifelong love of smoking cigars. The Medal of Freedom is normally bestowed upon “individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors,” What the hell was El Rushblo’s contribution to American society, you may ask? Yes, he did do charitable work for cancer and veterans. That’s commendable. But basically, he’s provided forty years of hate-filled diatribe that has contributed much to the political chasm that divides this country today and the reason we’ve got an orange-haired, authoritarian, man child asshole in the White House.

Limbaugh’s transgressions are legion. We used to have a regular feature here from ’03-05 called Rush Watch where we highlighted some of his vileness in photo-toon form, but even we grew sick of his never ending bullshit. Staff member Chester Einstein used to listen to his radio broadcasts and watch his tv show in the early 90s, but stopped when El Rushblo continuously and ruthlessly mocked the Clintons, even Chelsea who was only a teenager at the time. He also picked on Amy Carter, too(see third link in our list below). But then mocking and bullying teenagers is par for the course for today’s manly man conservative Republicans.

Here are some links that illustrate how badly Limbaugh has helped tear America apart.

We have no doubt that lines are already forming to dance on his grave. If you think that’s in poor taste, well then you haven’t been paying attention to the drivel that Limbaugh has spewed forth from his gaping maw since the ’80s. We’re not alone in wishing El Rushblo a glorious trip to hell! We hope you choke on your massive, stinky stogies for all eternity, you racist, sexist, ignorant fat tub of goo!

Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).
Lines are already forming for people who want to dance on the grave of obnoxious, racist, conservative asshole and fat tub of goo Rush Limbaugh (a.k.a. Boss Limhogg).

The King And Queen Of Pain

Gina Haspel was narrowly approved by the Senate last week to be the new CIA director despite being grilled for being a supposed proponent of torture during the Bush Administration. Lawmakers repeatedly asked her if she would protest if perhaps Trump wanted to restart interrogation techniques such as waterboarding to which she basically did what all conservative Republicans do; avoid answering the question. You know it’s bad when Dick Cheney reemerges from his lair and states with Haspel in charge, the U.S. should restart harsh interrogations.

Of course, the Trump administration denies that Trump wants to resume the torture program, despite stating many times that he would definitely reinstate the method because “it works”. Perhaps Haspel can initiate a new torture method involving spanking with a Forbes magazine. We’re sure our megalomaniac, liar-in-chief would volunteer for that and maybe confess everything about lying on his taxes, his affair with Stormy Daniels, any collusion with Russia and the 3001 other deceptions he’s thrown at the public since his inauguration.

New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.
New CIA director and torture aficionado, Gina Haspel, has announced a new method of interrogation that meets with overwhelming approval from American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Cheney’s No Brainer

Just in time for the holidays…Torture!  Yes nothing exemplifies holiday spirit like torture(you have to admit, forced family fun is a kind of torture.) The Senate Intelligence Committee(what an oxymoron!) recently released a 528 page summary(the original is 6000 pages) that explains in detail that the CIA used various forms on detainees from 2001 to 2006 and kept it hidden from government officials and the American people. Dick Cheney, who in 2006 called torture a no brainer,  has even been making the rounds again claiming he’d do it all over again. Yes, America has proudly placed itself in the pantheon of torturing nations like Russia, North Korea, Iran and Syria. What great company we’re keeping, eh? We dug up a photo-toon from our November 13, 2006 issue where America’s most notorious war criminal defended waterboarding to a pliant, sycophantic media. All we have to say about Mr. Cheney and his asinine commentary is  “WHAT A DICK!

Dick Cheney says waterboarding is a 'no brainer'.
Vice President Dick Cheney recently commented that using waterboarding techniques on detainees is a 'no-brainer'.