The Puritan Party

Well, the RNC has come and gone and it’s been every bit a clusterf*ck as predicted. Some highlights(or lowlights): Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech – Trump’s campaign denied then admitted the fraud; the so called anti-Trump movement never really gets going; Pence bores everyone to sleep; a tepid endorsement from Paul Ryan; and the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, still licking his wounds from his defeat in the Republican primaries, refuses to endorse Donald Trump. When your top celebrity endorser is Scott Baio from Joanie Loves Chachi, you know it’s bad. To top it off, Trump delivered a lie filled acceptance speech in an effort to make his supporters shit their pants in fear.  Wow! What a sucky, sucky, suck ass Party!

But one thing that is incredibly disturbing is the platform adopted by the Republicans. It looks like it was written by extremist, far right wing, evangelical christians. You might as well call the Republican Party the Puritan Party now. Among the more dismaying platform points: appoint anti-choice Supreme Court justices; legalize anti-LGBT discrimination; pass an anti-choice constitutional amendment; end funding for Planned Parenthood; repeal environmental protection laws; ignore climate change; expand fracking and burying nuclear waste; privatize Medicare; cut food stamps; require bible study in public schools and (the worst one in our opinion) make christianity the national religion. Apparently, the Republicans want to go back to the ’50s…the 1650s! The Republican party platform also bears a strong resemblance to our fascist checklist we posted several months ago. If there was any doubt before there is no doubt now; with this party platform the Republican party has gone into hard core fascist mode.

Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone's Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.
Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone’s Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.

Brand Recognition

On the eve of the Republican National Convention, a.k.a. The Finest Dumpster Fire The World Has Even Seen, the RNC is busy preparing themselves for what looks to be a complete clusterf*ck. Donald Trump seems to have selected Indiana governor, christian soldier and blandest man alive, Mike Pence, as his running mate. Many prominent Republicans are not even attending the convention, preferring to distance themselves from Mr. Trump. Given this, the Republican party has decided to officially assent to the rise of Trump by re-branding the party with a brand new logo which more properly reflects its current ideology: a steaming pile of patriotic shit (note the dead elephant’s trunk sticking out on top).

On the eve of the Republican convention, the GOP has revealed its brand new logo which more accurately represents its current ideology: a steaming pile of patriotic shit.
On the eve of the Republican convention, the GOP has revealed its brand new logo which more accurately represents its current ideology.

Trump: Jesus’ Twin?

One of the more perplexing things about the rise of Donald Trump is the support he’s getting from the evangelical christians. We thought for sure they would support supposed ‘savior’ Ted Cruz, but they have overwhelmingly come out in support of someone who is thrice married; a hedonist, morally bankrupt and has at best a sketchy knowledge of the bible. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we probably know more about the bible than Trump. Samantha Bee recently gave a hilarious analysis of the religious right evangelical’s seemingly hypocritical viewpoint. It’s definitely a lip diddler for us, folks. But then again, we can’t figure out how the hell Donald Trump is the GOP nominee for president.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, admires his ideological twin, Donald Trump, for his greedy, egomaniacal, petty, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, bombastic, materialistic, deceitful, callous, bigoted, and oppresive nature.
Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, is stoked that his ideological twin, Donald Trump, looks to be the GOP nominee for president.

World War III: Trumpocalypse Now

We’re not pulling any punches here at the Bucket. We are vehemently anti-Donald Trump. Sure Hillary Clinton isn’t perfect, but she is basically a centrist Democrat and a moderate Republican. Like our guy Bernie Sanders has said, even on her worst days, she’s still one thousand times better than Mr. Trump.

There are countless reasons to not elect GOP frontrunner Donald Trump president. So far, he’s been as fickle as the wind on foreign and domestic issues alike. Oh, it’s Tuesday, then he’s for punishing women for abortions. If it’s Wednesday’s and the wind’s from the northwest, then women shouldn’t be punished. He used to be for gun control, but now he’s all for everyone having guns everywhere. Other issues he’s been for and against: transgender bathroom usage, same-sex marriage, NATO, reducing the national debt, Planned Parenthood, violence for political gain, etc…

But probably the biggest reason not to elect this psychopath is his foreign policy experience. We can’t think of a more dangerous person to have his finger on the nuclear button than this egomaniacal, authoritarian rage monster. The thought should make every sane Americans blood run cold. Let’s take the recent incident when U.S. sailors ventured into Iranian waters and were taken prisoners. Within a day, thanks to diplomacy by the Obama administration, the sailors were released. But Mr. Trump wanted to get tough with Iran (and possibly start World War III), which will undoubtedly be a nuclear war. He’s already sending mixed messages on foreign war policy as well. He stated that the U.S. shouldn’t be involved in foreign wars. But then he turns around and says he’d carpet bomb ISIS and show force in Syria. Can you imagine the Donald handling incidents with North Korea, China, the Ukraine, the Middle East. Just the slightest provocation would send Trump to the nuclear button. He’s already said, he would use nuclear weapons. Who knows — if Mexico doesn’t agree to build the border wall that Trump wants, he may send a few warheads southward.

The bottom line is this; if a person is thinking about voting for Trump, then that person should be prepared to go to war themselves, or send their sons, daughters or grandchildren to war. And this war won’t be just any war. It will be World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

In Donald Trump's new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.
In Donald Trump’s new patriotic poster, an exuberant Trump supporter exhorts other Americans to join the fun in World War III: the Trumpocalypse.

SEGUMUCA Nation

Well, the unthinkable has happened in America. What started out as a joke last June, has become a reality. Donald Trump has pretty much clinched the Republican Presidential nomination. Like other sane, reasonable folks, we’re completely surprised and a bit horrified at the ascendancy of this disingenuous, authoritarian megalomaniac. And naturally the blamestorming has commenced. Common scapegoats include the obvious choices like the Teabagger Republicans and corporate media. The Republicans have the gall to actually blame Obama. John Stewart has suggested it’s the Democrats. We here at the Bucket will go one better; we’re all to blame for this fiasco.

That’s right folks. Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all responsible for Donald Trump because the orange rage monster is the epitome of capitalism run amok. We’ve commented before about the ugly predatory nature of unregulated capitalism.  Upton Sinclair documented it one hundred years ago in the book The Jungle and it still is applicable today. Trump has come to represent everything that capitalism holds dear; greed, avarice, egoism, ultra-competitiveness, selfishness and materialism. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way. The rich, greedy plutocrats dangle the carrot and the rest of us salivate and go after it. We’ve mentioned John Steinbeck’s quote about the poor seeing themselves as temporarily embarrasses millionaires instead of exploited grunts. These are Trump’s trumpeters; the temporarily embarrassed millionaires; and of course the plutocrats, like Sheldon Adelson, who will naturally support his fellow billionaire.

We here at the Bucket were kind of hoping that Bernie Sanders, the self proclaimed democratic socialist would have gotten the nomination. That would have made the election a referendum of sorts between democratic socialism against unregulated capitalism. According to polls, in a head to head showdown, Sanders thumps Trump.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra-materialistic, ulta-competitive asshole, a.k.a. Donald Trump.
Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.

Brewer Wants Women Back In Kitchen

We thought we were done with our review of lame AZ political figures and issues but former Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer had to open her mouth and of course when that happens, something stupid usually comes out.

Brewer said in an interview that way too much emphasis has been placed on electing female candidates, stating that “this woman thing has gotten way out of control I believe.” That’s right women; get back in the kitchen and serve your man. No wonder Donald Trump and other conservative christian Republican men love her. Up Next: Jan Brewer says that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Former Arizona Governor Jan 'Skeletor' Brewer says a woman's place is in the home serving her man and Donald Trump wholeheartedly agrees.
Former Arizona Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer announces her plans to set the women’s movement back one hundred years much to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump’s approval.

AZ’s Education Fraud

Continuing our review of lame AZ public figures and issues…

A special election is coming up here in Arizona on May 17,2016 that deals with the funding of Arizona’s woeful education system. This article at DailyKos explains the issue better than we could. The Republicans is this state have been trying since forever to release all that public land so private interests(land developers) can make money on it. So it’s perfectly natural that privatization fans, a.k.a. Republicans hold Arizona’s children as hostage – “fork over your precious land or the kids get it!” The answer to a better education is solved by increasing the corporate tax or just raising taxes. But corporate, business and private interests are of primary importance here in the land of the Republican wingnuts and taxes are a four letter word. Which is why corporate friendly tools, like Governor Ducey, are so actively trying to pull this fraud on Arizonans. Like the article at DailyKos says, it’s a bit dubious that all the slick, special, private, monied interests support Prop 123 and all the regular folks, who aren’t so richly backed, are saying nay. Just another day in the clusterf*cked state of Arizona politics. At least we’ve got beautiful scenery…er…ummm…maybe not for much longer. Happy Earth Day everyone?

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only 'reasonable' way to save Arizona's abysmal education system is to sell off the land to 'private interests' a.k.a. developers and industry.
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only ‘reasonable’ way to save Arizona’s abysmal education system is to sell off the land to ‘private interests’ a.k.a. developers and industry.

Top AZ Wingnuts Endorse Trump

We’ve commented before about the dismal politicians in our home state of Arizona(here, here, here, and here for starters). And unfortunately, they keep on delivering the crazy much to the embarrassment of reasonable and sane Arizonans.

There’s the primary election fiasco on March 22nd (we’ve got a photo-toon coming on this one.) Then there’s the obstructionism of Arizona’s senators on Obama’s Supreme Court nominee (we’ve got a couple photo-toons coming on this one, too.) But this post deals with the endorsements of Donald Trump by former governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio.

Jan Brewer has never impressed us here at the Bucket. Just take a look at her awful performance in the 2010 gubernatorial debates and you’ll get an idea of her incompetence. She’s like an older, blonder Sarah Palin.

As for Arpaio, he’s been in office so long (since 1992), he thinks he’s not only the law, but that he’s above the law. Now we don’t think Arpaio is all bad. He strongly punishes animal abusers, which is a good thing. And like we’ve said before, the pink underwear and the Tent City thing was a hoot — in the nineties. Arpaio’s schtick has worn thin over the last fifteen years. Now with his support of birtherism, SB 1070 (racial profiling) and being sued for abuse of power and racial profiling by federal prosecutors(which has cost the taxpayers of Maricopa County a whopping $142 million), we think it’s time for Sheriff Joe to ride off into the sunset in true old Western fashion.

We guess it’s no wonder that Arpaio and Brewer endorsed Trump. Look at where the rally for Trump was held prior to the March 22nd primary. Fountain Hills, along with Paradise Valley and North Scottsdale (or Snottsdale as we call it here in these parts), is one of the most exclusive communities in the state and Arpaio lives there. And that pretty much sums up the Republicans motto: exclude everyone except if you’ve got money, you’re christian, you’re white and you accept that because of your fortuitous financial status, you should be able to rule everyone’s life. It’s also not surprising that some protesters got arrested for trying to disrupt the rally. Get used to it America. If Donald Trump becomes President there will be no protesting or free speech. It’s going to be Trump’s way or pink underwear in Sheriff Joe’s Tent City.

Arizona authoritarian demagogues, former Governor Jan 'Skeletor' Brewer and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe 'Just Call Me God' Arpaio announce their support for national, authoritarian demagogue Donald Trump for President, who clarifies who is the bigger God in true Donald Trump fashion.
Arizona authoritarian demagogues, former Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio announce their support for national, authoritarian demagogue Donald Trump for President, who clarifies who is the bigger God in true Donald Trump fashion.

 

The Con Of The Craven Cowards

We’re still trying to figure out the complete con being orchestrated by the Republican ‘establishment’ and their cohorts in crime, the corporate media. Their so called ‘astonishment’ of the rise of Donald Trump seems pretty disingenuous. So does their desire to stop Trump, especially when so many GOP candidates(like Rubio, Cruz and Kasich), who have stated how absolutely horrible he is, would in fact support him if he got the nomination. Now if some of the GOP ‘establishment’ came out endorsing Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton (who is basically a moderate Republican anyway), then maybe we’d believe them and they would earn our respect.

But in the mean time, GOP stalwarts like Lindsey Graham and 2012 Republican nominee Spiff Romney, have come forward and shown what craven cowards they are. Graham famously said back in January, after he left the race, that choosing between Trump and Cruz was like being shot or poisoned. And yet,Graham recently endorsed Ted Cruz. Spiff Romney, who recently came out strongly against Trump, also basically endorsed Cruz. Yep; nothing says integrity like saying how awful a person is and then turning around and supporting them.

Lindsey Graham and Spiff Romney choose the poison that is Ted Cruz to be the GOP nominee.
Former candidate, Lindsey Graham, and 2012 GOP nominee, Spiff Romney, have boldly demonstrated their integrity by endorsing the man they called Republican poison, Ted Cruz.

Trump’s Wage Slave America

We used to think it was funny that Donald Trump was the frontrunner when this charade called Con-a-thon 2016 started last summer. We figured that all his gaffes, miscues and hateful comments would surely lead to his demise before the first primaries and one of the more seasoned ‘establishment’ GOP candidates, like Bush, Walker or Rubio, would take the lead. But Trump is clearly on track to becoming the Republican nominee and it’s becoming more scary than humorous. As a matter of fact the Economic Intelligence Unit(EIU) ranked the prospect of a Trump presidency as one of the biggest threats to global economic stability, right up there with radical jihadists.

The most perplexing thing: the supporters of Donald Trump. These are people who should be supporting the man who would really help them, socialist Bernie Sanders. But as we’ve commented here before, many lower and middle class Americans view themselves as ‘temporarily embarrassed millionaires’ , not the exploited backbone of the nation that they truly are. Americans are overworked and underpaid but yet somehow, some of them think that Donald Trump, who is a master at manipulating people and the media, will make their lives better because of the trickle down myth which the Republicans have successfully trumpeted ever since the days of St. Ronald Reagan; Donald Trump is rich, so his riches will trickle down and he’ll make us all rich. It didn’t work in the eighties under Reagan, the aughts under Dubya and it won’t work in the future under Trump.

We’ve been hoping that the people who support Trump would have woken up by now, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. In fact, with the outbreak of violence at anybody who speaks against Trump, they seem more adamant than ever to place America into the hands of an authoritarian megalomaniac with a lust for power and a hatred for dissent. The true future for Trump supporters will more likely be as low wage slaves at his resorts and casinos.

Supporters for Donald Trump like him because he bosses people around, makes up the truth and hates the same people they hate.
Supporters for Donald Trump express their obsequious desire to be future wage slaves for the authoritarian megalomaniac.