Go Nuts, Women!

The Jan. 6th hearings have begun and the committee members seem to be doing a good job of laying the groundwork that the Capitol riots were indeed an attempted coup (like we all know it was) and not a friendly, little tourist visit like TFG and his gaslighting Republicans sheeple claim it was. Will it lead to the lying, orange-haired megalomaniac and some of his henchman actually paying for their crimes and going to prison? Unfortunately, we’re pretty skeptical on that.

But as if on cue, the Supreme Court decided to take the attention off of Trump’s culpability by finally overturning Roe v. Wade and setting women’s rights back a half century. We’ve commented many times about a woman’s right to have autonomy over her own body. This seems straightforward to us here at the Bucket and we’re guys. Maybe if the situation is presented in a different way, then maybe the authoritarian christian conservatives who want to rule over every aspect of our lives with an iron fist will understand. Here goes! The uterus is a part of a woman’s body. The testes are parts of a man’s body. It stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman should be able to control a man’s testes. Since the ultra conservative Supreme Court has also expanded concealed gun rights and firearms are pretty much free for the taking here in America, maybe women should start blasting some nuts of these sanctimonious assholes to make a point. Then maybe they’d understand that a person should be able to control their own bodies. We say GO NUTS, WOMEN!!!

In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman's uterus, then a woman can control a man's testes. Go nuts, women!
In light of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade and expanding gun rights, it stands to reason that if a man can control a woman’s uterus, then a woman can control a man’s testes. Go nuts, women!

Rotten Cotton On Wimmin Folk

We’re still kind of in our malaise here at the Bucket but can you blame us. Geez, look at all the crap that’s happening right now: Russia’s war against Ukraine, the coronavirus’ war against all humans, the Republicans war against democracy and . . . drum roll please . . . the Republicans war against women.

Thanks to a leak, the Supreme Court is poised to overthrow a woman’s autonomy over her own body despite an overwhelming majority of people in America supporting a woman’s right to choose, especially in cases of rape and incest. Regressive states like Texas and Oklahoma have already passed laws prohibiting abortion after six weeks which basically is forcing a woman to give birth no matter what. Enter 2024 presidential hopeful Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, who is trying to present himself as heir apparent to TFG. Well, Mr. Cotton want’s to imprison any one who protests the anti-choice decision in true authoritarian fashion.

We’ve commented before about Cotton. He has the charisma of a wet diaper but he is way smarter than TFG. Would he stand a chance in 2024? We’ve seen that the Republican base will support even a jackass like TFG, so yes he would. Democrats should be wary of this Cletus Spuckler doppelganger because he would be just as ruthless as Trump and he has the intelligence to turn the United States into fascist nation or the Holy Corporate Empire.

Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson's yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin' up vittles.
Arkansas Senator and old fashioned manly man Tom Cotton bears a striking resemblance to Simpson’s yokel Cletus Speckler especially when talking about wimmin folk and how they should be birthing babies and cookin’ up vittles.

Brewer Wants Women Back In Kitchen


We thought we were done with our review of lame AZ political figures and issues but former Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer had to open her mouth and of course when that happens, something stupid usually comes out.

Brewer said in an interview that way too much emphasis has been placed on electing female candidates, stating that “this woman thing has gotten way out of control I believe.” That’s right women; get back in the kitchen and serve your man. No wonder Donald Trump and other conservative christian Republican men love her. Up Next: Jan Brewer says that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Former Arizona Governor Jan 'Skeletor' Brewer says a woman's place is in the home serving her man and Donald Trump wholeheartedly agrees.
Former Arizona Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer announces her plans to set the women’s movement back one hundred years much to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump’s approval.

A Douchey Move

We’ve had a changing of the guard here in Arizona during the last election. Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer has handed over the reigns of her wingnut kingdom to former ice cream magnate Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey). Ducey, not to be outdone on the insanity meter by Indiana’s Mike Pence, this past week signed a bill that prohibits women from using the federal health exchange health care program to pay to an abortion. Also they stated erroneously that doctors have the right to tell women that the process is reversible, a claim critics call junk science. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Republicans are making up science to match their narrow ideology. I mean most Republicans believe angels exist, think the Earth is only six thousand years old and Jesus co-existed with the dinosaurs. Coming soon from the Republican Science Labs: the Sun really does revolve around the Earth.

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey's health plan for women who want an abortion is a good old fashioned wire hanger.
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) announces his ‘old fashioned’ health plan for women who may want to terminate a pregnancy.

Mr. Helper

Former Arkansas Governor and perennial GOP presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, recently made headlines by commenting that Democrats are trying to convince women they need ‘Uncle Sugar’ to control their libidos. Of course, Mr. Huckabee, being a bible thumping conservative christian, prefers old-fashioned, holier methods of birth control to help women such as abstinence, prayer and a good old chastity belt.

Mike proposes that women use abstinence, prayer and a good old chastity belt, controlled by their male spouse,  to control their wanton libidos.
Mike Huckabee declares that it is wrong for government to control a women's libido but perfectly A-OK for the church to control it.

 

 

Boss Limhogg Endears Self to Women

Controversial, conservative radio talk show host and unofficial Republican party boss, Rush ‘Boss Limhogg’ Limbaugh, has opened his large mouth and gotten himself in hot water with women again. Last week, Limhogg went on a misogynistic rant against Georgetown law student, Sandra Fluke, who testified before a House Democratic Steering and Policy committee about the financial burden of contraception for female law students. Boss Limhogg called her a ‘slut’ and a ‘prostitute’ amongst other slurs on his show provoking outrage from many, including more centrist Republicans.

As a result, Limhogg’s radio show has lost a slew of sponsors. Does this spell the end of Boss Limhogg? Are you kidding?! This man is a conservative icon in the Republican party.  Although he ‘apologized’ to Fluke, he’s still ranting against her and women in general. This has happened tons of times before in the past twenty years. Look for nothing to change. After all, he is Boss Limhogg. We think this article over at Media Matters presents the Republicans relationship with Limhogg succinctly.

Unofficial GOP leader and female connoisseur, Boss Limhogg, reflects on the status of women in America.