convention – BilgeBucket Gazette

Hope, Thy Name Is Kamala Harris

A lot has happened since our last post a month ago. Honestly, folks, the way the election had been panning out was depressing the hell out of us. Joe Biden, despite having one of the best legislative terms in history, was being labeled as too old as compared to an equally old and more unstable and completely dishonest man, the twice impeached convicted felon TFG. The fix was in and it still may be in, we don’t know. But President Biden bowing out of the race and endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris completely threw the Republicans for a loop. For once, the Democrats put the screws to the GOP and we’re feeling something we haven’t felt in a while – HOPE!

There are many positive signs for democracy loving citizens. The Democrats have coalesced and galvanized around Harris. The Vice President has raked in millions of dollars and gave a rally to a full house in Atlanta. Her reported nominees for Vice President are all solid candidates. We’re pushing for Arizona Senator Mark Kelly but then again we’re Arizonans and a bit biased. Not only that but Donald Trump gave one his worst interviews ever (and he’s given a zillion awful interviews in the last nine years) at the National Association of Black Journalists this past week. He completely screwed the pooch and probably lost the black vote completely. His flip-flopping VP pick J.D. Vance is not impressing anyone. So far the only things Republicans can complain about Harris is the lame comment that she’s always laughing. So there are plenty reasons to be hopeful.

But we’re sure the corrupt corporate media will do a hit job on Harris they way they did in 2016 against Hillary Clinton once they find something bad, no matter how picayune the issue is, in which to bash her and whoever her running mate ends up being. The media wants drama and Zeus damn it, drama makes lots of MONEY, which is what the greedy corporations and America are all about. So, get ready for a bumpy three months, folks. Things are looking much better for democracy loving Americans, but it ain’t over yet.

The Republican Party is so broken and weird that they are criticizing Democratic candidate, current Vice President Kamala Harris for the unforgivable sin of laughing.

The Puritan Party

Well, the RNC has come and gone and it’s been every bit a clusterf*ck as predicted. Some highlights(or lowlights): Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech – Trump’s campaign denied then admitted the fraud; the so called anti-Trump movement never really gets going; Pence bores everyone to sleep; a tepid endorsement from Paul Ryan; and the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, still licking his wounds from his defeat in the Republican primaries, refuses to endorse Donald Trump. When your top celebrity endorser is Scott Baio from Joanie Loves Chachi, you know it’s bad. To top it off, Trump delivered a lie filled acceptance speech in an effort to make his supporters shit their pants in fear. Wow! What a sucky, sucky, suck ass Party!

But one thing that is incredibly disturbing is the platform adopted by the Republicans. It looks like it was written by extremist, far right wing, evangelical christians. You might as well call the Republican Party the Puritan Party now. Among the more dismaying platform points: appoint anti-choice Supreme Court justices; legalize anti-LGBT discrimination; pass an anti-choice constitutional amendment; end funding for Planned Parenthood; repeal environmental protection laws; ignore climate change; expand fracking and burying nuclear waste; privatize Medicare; cut food stamps; require bible study in public schools and (the worst one in our opinion) make christianity the national religion. Apparently, the Republicans want to go back to the ’50s…the 1650s! The Republican party platform also bears a strong resemblance to our fascist checklist we posted several months ago. If there was any doubt before there is no doubt now; with this party platform the Republican party has gone into hard core fascist mode.

Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone's Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate. — Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone’s Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.

Brand Recognition

On the eve of the Republican National Convention, a.k.a. The Finest Dumpster Fire The World Has Even Seen, the RNC is busy preparing themselves for what looks to be a complete clusterf*ck. Donald Trump seems to have selected Indiana governor, christian soldier and blandest man alive, Mike Pence, as his running mate. Many prominent Republicans are not even attending the convention, preferring to distance themselves from Mr. Trump. Given this, the Republican party has decided to officially assent to the rise of Trump by re-branding the party with a brand new logo which more properly reflects its current ideology: a steaming pile of patriotic shit (note the dead elephant’s trunk sticking out on top).

On the eve of the Republican convention, the GOP has revealed its brand new logo which more accurately represents its current ideology.

Gran Finale

The Republicans saved the biggest surprise for the last night and they did not disappoint. Legendary Oscar winning actor, Clint Eastwood, took center stage and gave an empty chair the thrashing of a life time. Actually, in true theatrical fashion, the empty chair was supposed to represent President Barack Obama and Mr. Eastwood, at least in his mind, represented all his rugged heroes he played in his westerns and police dramas rolled into one. Mr. Eastwood then went on to ramble incessantly for twelve excruciating minutes In the end, Mr. Eastwood proved to be more the angry old man from Gran Torino than Dirty Harry. Here’s one of his more memorable moments.

RNCeastwoodchair — Actor Clint Eastwood had some memorable senior moments while giving his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Republicans Make Their Own Facts

One complaint expressed by many during the RNC was that Spiff Romney and Paul Randyan filled their speeches with lies and deceptions. Of course, the poor, persecuted, beleaguered conservative media refuted claims immediately with the statement “We’re not going [to] let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.”

Yes, facts have been nothing but a bother for conservative Republicans in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2012 and finally Spiff Romney vented his frustration at the convention.

romneyfacts — GOP nominee, Spiff Romney, expresses his disdain for facts which may get in the way of his winning the presidency.

RNC 2004: The Governator

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

In 2004, the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was the darling of the Republican party. He had just become the Republican governor of the very blue state of California. There were even some GOP henchmen, who were working to change the Constitution so that foreign born people like Arnold could become President. But alas, the Governator veered to the left during his terms in office, actually working with Democrats and supporting environmental legislation. This, of course, meant he fell out of favor with the corporate loving, environmental hating right wing. Now he’s out of office, divorced from Maria Shriver, and back to performing in bad action movie revivals (The Expendables franchise). But don’t worry folks…wait for it… he’ll be back! (Come on…you didn’t think we could resist putting in a lame catch phrase reference, do you?)

rncarnold — Always the pitchman, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hawks some of his lamer movies to the pliant crowd.

RNC 2004: The Flock Follows Their Shepherds

Continuing with our RNC 2004 retrospective…

Here are some Texas Republican sheeple hanging out at the 2004 convention exchanging ideas on how they can be more obedient to Dubya, their christian shepherds and the corporate establishment.

rncsheep — Bush supporters from Texas mull around waiting for orders on what to think and do.

RNC 2004: Remembering The Fun

We’ve just had two weeks of the Olympics. Can we stand anymore excitement? In less than two weeks time, we’ll all be blessed with the thrill of the 2012 edition of the Republican National Convention starring Spiff Romney and that Ayn Rand lovin’ fool, Paul Ryan. To prepare for this earth shattering event, we plan to do a little retrospective. We will present some unforgettable photo-toon highlights from the 2004 Republican National Convention. Who could forget when Arnold Schwarzenegger, Zell Miller and even Jesus showed up to cheer for the GOP.

Let’s start out with that ol’ maverick, Senator John McCain. At least he used to be a ‘maverick’ back in the ’80s. Actually, he was ‘maverick’ only to other Republicans, because he actually would…you probably won’t believe this… compromise and converse with Democrats. It’s astonishing to believe but back before the 90’s, Republicans were somewhat civilized.

And of course, the ‘maverick’ is responsible for giving the world Sarah Palin. That should have been a clue that maybe he was losing it. Seriously, does anybody listen to what Senator McCain has to say anymore? He said a few days ago, that Obama should replace Biden with Hillary Clinton. Really? That’s the best barb McCain can come up with to get under the Democrat’s skin? He should just retire to one of his eight houses and count all his money. Here’s his big moment during the 2004 RNC when he cemented his 2008 presidential candidacy.