Tag Archive for book

These Boots Were Made For Kicking Ass

We’ve decided to kick off the new year with a positive, non-Trump (or at least a minimal-Trump) post. Since the Democrats are now in charge of the House and Nancy Pelosi is set to become the Speaker of the House, we’re feeling a lot better about perhaps some justice coming to American CEO/Dictator and ill-tempered man child, Donald Trump, after two years of lies and corruption from his administration.

But in the mean time, let’s devote a little time to one of our favorite people here at the Bucket, Michelle Obama. The former First Lady has been making the rounds promoting her best selling book, Becoming. But she caused quite a sensation recently when she showed up to an event wearing a pair of $4000 designer boots. Now we adhere to the Henry David Thoreau mantra of “Simplify, Simplify” so we all think that’s a bit much to be paying for a pair of shoes. Staff member and living fossil Chester Einstein grumbles about paying $20 for a pair of loafers at Payless. But we’re also aware that conservative Republicans, who preach austerity to their sheeple, regularly go out and spend gobs of money on extravagant, expensive material possessions (see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, The Bushes, etc…). For instance, take current First Lady Melania Trump…please. She regularly wears glitzy, lavish, ostentatious clothing: remember her ‘fashionable’ “I don’t really care, do u” jacket. But then Republicans bitch anytime Democrats spend even a little bit of money. Sean Hannity and the faux journalists at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, threw a memorable hissy fit when Barack Obama ordered spicy mustard for his burger back in 2009. Oh the humanity!!!

So although we pinch pennies better than Jack Benny, we think Michelle Obama looked fantastic and we say “Go get ’em!”  Who can forget her classy speech from the 2016 election when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” For normal, sane humans who believe in civilized society, these words are inspirational and right in line with the golden rule. But right wing, conservative, ‘christian’ Republicans only mocked and derided her. So, we’d like to suggest an minor update to our favorite First Lady for dealing with today’s Trumpian Republicans: “When they go low…put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***ing asses.”

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to now say when they go low just put on some shiny pointy toe boots and kick their f***king asses

Former First Lady Michelle Obama has updated her mantra from the 2016 election to include some ass kicking of modern day Trumpian Republicans.

Mein Trumpf

Amazingly, Donald Trump is still dominating the Republican field in the charade that is Con-a-thon 2016. This, despite some rather recent fascist-like statements, like his wanting to keep all Muslims out of the United States. But this is all going according to plan for the Republicans, who are master con artists, propagandists and media manipulators. The sacrificial lamb Donald Trump, is making the extremists within the party, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, look sane by comparison, thereby setting them up to obtain the nomination next summer as the less dangerous choice. Ahhhh….Joseph Goebbels would be proud.

Speaking of which….just in time for the holiday season, The Donald has come out with a delightful new book, (reminiscent of another book by some 20th century German fascist),  explaining his fascist tendencies and his authoritarian vision for the future of the Holy Corporate Empire with its dictator…er…president, Donald Trump (or  shall we say Trumpf). It even has a picture of Herr Trumpf dressed in the fascist uniform of the 21st century; the designer business suit. Like the cover says…READ IT! NOW!!!!!

just in time for the holiday season, Donald Trump's new book, Mein Trumpf, makes an ideal stocking stuffer for the fascist in your family.

Just in time for the holiday season, Donald Trump’s new book, Mein Trumpf, makes an ideal stocking stuffer for the fascist in your family.

Celebrate Christmas or Die!

Do you need a last minute holiday gift? You came to the right place! Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book just in time for you to buy it and stuff it… in your stocking for Christmas, Festivus or whatever the hell holiday you celebrate this time of year. He gives key strategies on dealing with people who have non-Christian ideologies and how to beat the holy hell out them, all in the joyous spirit of the season. And with a foreward by Ms. Ubetcha, how can anyone refuse!

Bill O'Reilly book Celebrate Christmas or Die! : How to win the War on Christmas

Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book filled with strategies on how to annihilate anyone who has the audacity to wish you 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'.

 

 

 

Austerity Cuisine

Times are definitely tough right now. 99% of us are tightening our belts and trying to do more with less. Even food prices have risen. There are even some Americans who have to decide between paying their bills and eating. That’s why we’re presenting this timely book as our Book o’ the Month by the ‘Julia Child of the Ozarks’, Daisy June Huneycutt. You’ll never go hungry again thanks to this book. FYI, the Flattened Possum with Dandelion Sauce is killer!

Austerity Dentistry

Times are definitely tough right now. 99% of us are tightening our belts and trying to do more with less. What is especially tough is the high cost of health care especially dental care. It is estimated that 40-60 million Americans don’t have dental insurance. That’s why we’re presenting this timely book as our Book o’ the Month. Buy this bestseller and say goodbye to costly dental bills…and chewing your food.

 

Looking Out For the Kids

If you’re looking for an educational Holiday gift for the wee ones, look no further than a book written by America’s own self proclaimed culture warrior, Bill O’Reilly. Yes Fox New’s biggest blowhard, who’s only goal in life is to look out for you, has written many a book in his day, but this one speaks to the kids and sets them on the right path; the far right path. Look for it at your nearest book store in the bargain bin.

Neocon talk show host, Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, recently wrote a book to brainwash, er...make that, inform today's youth and help them navigate the mine fields of the evil 'liberal media'.

Rewind: See Dubya Read

Who sez Dubya didn’t like to read when he was presidentin’? Although My Pet Goat was probably his favorite, he loved to read other books and here’s proof in a photo-toon from our November 20, 2003 issue.

President Bush takes a break during a cabinet meeting to read Madonna's latest book, Mr. Peabody's Apples.