Rewind: Slavery Was A Laugh Riot!

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Big news recently out of Ron DeSantis’ fascist Florida is that the education standards in the state are being warped to such a degree that teachers are now required to teach that slavery wasn’t such a bad thing for blacks. This reminds us of a post from August 2, 2016 where we highlighted former Fox News (a.k.a. Republican Propaganda Network) blowhard Bill O’Reilly’s book about how slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot. But Republicans have been trying to change the narrative on slavery ever since racist bigots from the South took began seizing control of the party in the 1960s. In 2015, Texas began whitewashing slavery and racism in their schools. Even Ben Carson, who is an African-American, made an ass of himself in March 2017 when he suggested that slaves were just immigrants and not coerced laborers forcibly brought against their will from Africa to work for nothing on American plantations. Florida and Texas have seemingly embraced white nationalism and institutionalized it in their educational systems.

Anyway, here’s a re-post of our photo-toon of Bill O’Reilly’s latest killing-history tome which may become required reading from now on in Florida.

Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn't just fun, it was a laugh riot.
Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot.

General Disappointment


When American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump appointed former general John Kelly as Chief of Staff, many breathed a sigh of relief in hoping that maybe the stoic ex-Marine could keep Trump in line. Ahhh! What naivete! John Kelly has proven in recent weeks that he’s not really not that different from Trump and that he’s only another enabler to the orange haired man-child who is our current President.

Take Kelly defending Trump’s recent call to a military widow where he told a grieving widow “he knew what he signed up for”. Kelly not only defended Trump but criticized Representative Frederica Wilson’s criticism of Trump’s wording. Trump’s press secretary,a.k.a. secretary of deception, Sarah Huckabee Sanders even went as far as to say it was inappropriate of Wilson to question Kelly because he was “a four star general”. Well how authoritarian of you Ms. Huckabee Sanders!  Mr. Kelly isn’t in the military anymore. This is a democracy and there is such a thing as freedom of speech and freedom of the press, which is guaranteed by the U.S. constitution. When John Kelly says and does things which are undemocratic and wrong, it is our right as Americans to question him.

Speaking of which…last week, Kelly showed his ignorance on history when he claimed that the Civil War could have been avoided if only the South and North would have been willing to compromise. Like Professor Stephanie McCurry says, “That statement could have been given by [former Confederate general] Jubal Early in 1880”. Well, the North and South did compromise before in 1820 (Missouri Compromise) and the Compromise of 1850 and those compromises only postponed the inevitable. It took a war to rid this nation of the disgusting institution of slavery. But unfortunately, thanks to the botched Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, racism persists today. Unbelievably, we have Confederate revisionists in power in this country who want to return to those glory days of white supremacists, KKK marches and frightened minorities. Mr. Kelly: your authoritarianism and racism are showing and it’s pretty ugly.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, sez if only the slaves would have compromised and agreed to a pay cut, the Civil War could have been avoided, which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.
American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, revises history by claiming failure to compromise caused the Civil War which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.

Ben Carson’s Slavery Alternative Facts


We knew from Con-a-thon 2016 that Ben Carson was pretty inept, but Wow! Despite warning everyone that he wasn’t qualified to hold a cabinet position, Carson accepted CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s appointment to be secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) even though Carson had no qualifications.

Well in his first official address, Carson brought out some big time alternative facts by stating that African Americans came to America as immigrants ‘to a land of dreams and opportunity’. Yeah that’s right everyone. In the warped minds of conservatives, slaves were coming voluntarily to America to work their dream jobs of working sun up to sun down every day for no pay and maybe some food and water if they worked hard enough (thirty lashes if they didn’t). Remember when Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly tried to push that crap that slavery wasn’t all that bad on the public last year. Well, Ben Carson is now drinking the Kool-Aid and blathering this crap to the masses, thus proving how truly unqualified he is. Seriously, how was this man a brain surgeon. We wouldn’t even allow him to cut our steaks let alone cut into our brains.

Actor Samuel L. Jackson had the best retort to Carson’s inanity. He responded on Twitter ““OK!! Ben Carson …. I can’t! Immigrants ? In the bottom of SLAVE SHIPS??!!” Later he doubled down by stating “It strikes me as misguided, and, more than anything, for a person that is supposed to be as smart as he is, it smacks of ignorance. If you cannot proofread something and see for yourself that there is something wrong with this, then you really don’t need to be where you are, and you should probably do us all a favor and resign and go off into obscurity.” Bravo Samuel L. Jackson!!! We’d really like to see his character from Pulp Fiction, hitman Jules Winnfield, take up the issue with sleepy purveyor of alternative facts, Ben Carson.

Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson's alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.
Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction, Jules Winnfield, takes issue with Ben Carson’s alternative fact that African Americans came to America as immigrants in the bottom of slave ships.

The Confederate Attorney General

There are many horrible picks in American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s cabinet, or as we’re calling it here, his Board of Directors. One of the most controversial is Alabama Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (Yeeeesh! Even his name screams the old Confederacy). There has been much said about Sessions history of racist commentary, especially when he was AG of Alabama. We’re atheists here at the Bucket and we’re also very concerned about his statements concerning secular humanists and his desire to make America into a christian theocracy, thus rejecting separation of church and state.

What was notable about the debate concerning his confirmation was that Elizabeth Warren was silenced by the Republicans stating that she was impugning the character of a fellow Senator, conveniently overlooking the fact that they impugned the character of President Obama, who used to be a Senator, for 8 frigging years. All she was trying to do was read Coretta Scott King’s letter opposing Session’s confirmation as a federal district court judge in Alabama in 1986. Fortunately, fellow Democrats, all men, read Coretta Scott King’s letter in entirety the next day….right before the Senate confirmed this bible thumping, racist, bigoted Confederate throw-back as America’s top lawyer.

Confederate Attorney General and good ol' boy, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, assures all the poor, frightened, straight, white, christian males that the good ol' days of the Confederacy will return much to the delight of a Ku Klux Klansman.
Confederate Attorney General and good ol’ boy, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, assures all the poor, frightened, straight, white, christian males that the good ol’ days of the Confederacy are a coming back real soon, much to the delight of a white-sheeted onlooker.

Slavery Was Fun!

Hey everyone! America’s favorite right wing blowhard at Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network, Bill O’Reilly, has a new book out. O’Reilly, who has appointed himself as America’s history detective and has authored other ‘history’ books like Killing Kennedy, Killing Lincoln and Killing Reagan, assassinates more truth with his new book entitled Slavery Was Fun! In it, he backs up his recent claim that slaves who worked building the White House were well fed and happy. O’Reilly states that slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot! He even got the black guy who works with him at Fox to write the foreward. This is a must have book for the racist or Trump supporter in your family. Get it now!

Fox News talk show host and America's history detective, Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn't just fun, it was a laugh riot.
Fox News talk show host and America’s history detective, Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book that explains that slavery wasn’t just fun, it was a laugh riot.

Please Texas…Secede!

The Texas school board recently stated that Texas students will begin using new textbooks which teach that slavery was just a side issue to the civil war and never mention Jim Crow laws or the Ku Klux Klan. So basically it whitewashes racism and the whole Civil War. Then there’s that whole Jade Helm 15 crap. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Texas is a red state filled with conservative christians, who also believe that the earth is less than 10,000 years old and that man co-existed with the dinosaurs. This is pretty dangerous stuff folks. Texas is purposely teaching their children false dogmas and history that just isn’t true. We think that Texas should make good on its repeated threats during Obama’s presidency and just secede from the United States. Actually we beg of you Texas; please take the Bushes, Rick Perry and Ted Cruz and form your own country! You’ll be happier without us and we’ll definitely be happier without you and your Texas size egos!

A Texas school teacher proudly teaches his class that slavery was fun and Negroes enjoyed the hell out of it and a conservative christian reminds the kids that the earth is only 6000 years old.
Texas now teaches its children that the whole slavery thing was just one big festival and Jesus probably rode a brontosaurus.