Tag Archive for Twitter

Trump In The Toidy

Words can’t express the glee we’ve had this week with the news of the FBI issuing a search warrant at TFG’s palatial residence Mar-a-lago in Florida. With unsealing of the warrant today, we’ve learned that the twice impeached orange haired megalomaniac man child is under investigation for possible violating of the Espionage Act. We’ve been critical of Merrick Garland and the DOJ for seemingly doing nothing to bring the former CEO/Dictator to justice but we stand corrected. Garland has handled everything masterfully this week and we’ve got a huge case of schadenfreude, just like at least 81 million other Americans.

In celebration of TFG finally appearing to face some justice, we’ve decided to repost a photo-toon from December 8, 2019. It depicts what a possible Trump Memorial might look like showing TFG sitting on his favorite throne dictating to his followers on Twitter, explaining COVFEFE and stating that we should all get over the fact that he’s a crook. At least we know now why he was obsessed with toilets flushing – that’s where he tried to put his torn up documents. Let this be the crime that puts him in a jail cell with a guy named Bubba who’s fond of spoonin’.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

The Trump Memorial

As the impeachment investigation rolls on, a disturbing piece of news bubbled to the top of the news cycle last week, (as if the last three years haven’t been disturbing enough). Apparently, in a recent poll, over 50% of Republicans perceive that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is a better president than the very first Republican president Abraham Lincoln, who most historians rank as the best president in the history of the United States. This is clear evidence that the conservative Republicans enabling and propping up Trump, especially the evangelical sheeple, are indeed cult-like in their devotion of this modern day golden calf and are seriously deranged. We’ll put this in a simple, blunt, concise statement. There’s no f*cking way Trump is even close to being better than Lincoln!!! Are you f*cking kidding!!!

We think it’s interesting to note that when Trump began his clusterf*ck of a presidency, he proclaimed himself to be like Andrew Jackson. Lincoln’s predecessor, James Buchanan, who served as Jackson’s ambassador to Russia in 1831, also idolized Jackson as a strong chief executive when he won the presidency in 1856. But Buchanan ended up being the worst president in this nation’s history and his incompetent actions, or inactions, led to a bloody Civil War which tore this nation apart for four years with repercussions that lasted well into the 20th century. Trump’s actions have also greatly divided this nation and has made the United States a laughingstock of the world. But the always egotistical Trump has openly suggested another Civil War if he is impeached and many of his armed, pliant supporters are ready to take action. So Trump is much closer to being like James Buchanan, the worst, than Abraham Lincoln, the best.

The Lincoln Memorial, which features a statue depicting honest Abe seated on a throne gazing down benevolently on his constituents, is one of the most visited monuments in the Washington D.C. area. We envision that an appropriate memorial for Trump would be one of the orange-haired megalomaniac seated on his throne tweeting out his infinite wisdom to his sheeple with his ‘massive’ hands. Given his recent baffling obsession with toilet flushing, the depiction is completely appropriate. Said monument will be located in a prominent place in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster which frequently catches on fire.

Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.
Plans are being made for the Trump Memorial which will feature America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump sitting on his throne tweeting words of wisdom (like Covfefe) on his phone with his massive hands. The monument will be located in Washington D.C. in an alley behind a KFC next to a dumpster that frequently catches fire.

Twit Tweets: #KingTrumpNeverWRONG

It’s been two and a half LONG, LONG, LONG years since Donald Trump has assumed leadership of this country as CEO/Dictator/King and so far the most consistent thing he has done is to tweet like an adolescent about every little thing that pops into his deranged, megalomaniac, man child head of his.

Unfortunately, his next greatest accomplishment is his over 10,000 lies and deceptions he has perpetrated on the American public. But then again we’re sure that King Trump, who is never wrong, would no doubt dispute those numbers as fake news, too.

America’s CEO/Dictator/King, Donald Trump, assures his loyal subjects that the stupid lying Press is lying about his 10,000 lies because the King is never wrong.
America’s CEO/Dictator/King, Donald Trump, assures his loyal subjects that the stupid lying Press is lying about his 10,000 lies because the King is never wrong.

Twit Tweets: #HUGEDuffer

We’ve introduced a new segment here called Twitty Trump Tweets to explore in depth, our American CEO/Dictator’s penchant for tweeting like a petulant teenager instead of acting like a world leader.

America’s CEO Donald Trump has made headlines recently by spending more money in just one month traveling to play golf at his course at Mar-a-lago than Obama spent in a year. So he’s played golf 13 times already…and this from a man who criticized Obama for playing too much golf. Yes folks, Trump’s making America great again, 18 holes at a time.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, who is also a huge duffer, is making America great again 18 holes at a time.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, who is also a huge duffer, is making America great again 18 holes at a time.

Twit Tweets: #BigVladFan

We’ve introduced a new segment here called Twitty Trump Tweets to explore in depth, our American CEO/Dictator’s penchant for tweeting like a petulant teenager instead of acting like a world leader.

America’s CEO Donald Trump continues to be plagued by accusations of ties with Russia during the 2016 election. It seems like the more he denies connections with Russia, the more he proves he’s in cahoots with them. SAD!

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, convincingly dispels any notion that he has an intimate connection with Russia and its leader Vladimir Putin.

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, convincingly dispels any notion that he has an intimate connection with Russia and its leader Vladimir Putin.

Twit Tweets: #HugeLoser

We’re introducing a new segment here called Twitty Trump Tweets to explore in depth, our American CEO/Dictator’s penchant for tweeting like a petulant teenager instead of acting like a world leader.

Now we’re not big fans of Twitter here at the Bucket. It does have its good purposes, like on the spot reporting at protests and major world events. But for the most part, it’s a tremendous waste of bandwidth. Seriously, we don’t care what Justin Bieber had for lunch or what Kim Kardashian thinks about world peace. And as evidence by the last election, important talking points have been reduced to inane 140 character blatherings that pass for real knowledge for consumption by the masses. It is perfect though for people with short attention spans, which unfortunately seems to include a good chunk of America. Like Trump would say…SAD!

America's CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, reacts to news about a world leader who spends all his time tweeting like a pathetic teenager instead of governing a nation. SAD!

America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, reacts to news about a world leader who spends all his time tweeting like a petulant child instead of governing a nation. SAD!

Coultergeist

The specter of right wing conservative angel, Ann Coulter, reared it’s ugly head again recently. In an effort to be her usual charming self, Ms. Coulter attempted to mock the #BringBackOurGirls campaign on Twitter and Facebook that completely blew up in her face — hilariously.

We don’t make fun of neocon personalities like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly or Ann Coulter very much anymore because frankly it’s just not worth it commenting on piles of dung that are shaped like human beings. But we’ll run a brief retrospective of Ms. Coulter with a couple of our favorite photo-toons from the early aughts.  Here’s one from June 19th, 2006 where Annie aimed her rapier wit at those ruthless 9/11 widows.

Jesus commends Ann Coulter for attacking the 9/11 harpies because Ann Coulter is the real victim.

'Compassionate' conservative author, Ann Coulter, gets a ringing endorsement on her new book, Godless: The Church of Liberalism, in which she comments on the 9/11 widows, "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much." .