Tag Archive for secede

The New Texas Elementary School/Prison

The radical right wing conservative christian Republicans are in full crazy mode and they are showing it all over the place. The heavily christian Supreme Court ruled to take away abortion rights for women last week. This week they said prayer in a public school is a-okay and the football coach at a public high school who led his team in a prayer on the field was wrongfully fired. We wonder if this christian nationalist zealots would feel the same way if the coach was Muslim or Hindu or Jewish.

But the state of Texas is leading the way in crazy. Recently, not only did they support the Big Lie that Joe Biden didn’t win the election but they also passed resolution in their state legislature that paves the way for Texas to secede from the United States. We mentioned before how we would love to see that happen; a Texit if you will. We’d help them pack. Amongst the other crazy things they mentioned in the official Republican platform were: labeling homosexuality as an abnormal lifestyle; make it easier to get a gun; restrict voting rights; ignore and accelerate climate change; ban all abortions from the moment of fertilization (super crazy); preserve confederate monuments and repealing hate crime laws because … you know … the Republican hate everything and everybody, which isn’t very christian.

Texas’ senators John Cornyn and Ted Cruz are also showing their true nature as assholes. Cornyn recently sent a completely uncompassionate tweet about overturning Brown v. Board of Education which paved the way for desegregation. And of course, Ted Cruz, the Senator everybody hates, said after the Uvalde school shooting that what we really need is to have just one entrance and exit to a school. It’s not the guns – it’s the doors! Wow! What an idiot!!! Not only would that be a fire hazard, but it turns our educational system into a prison system. But we’re guessing the heartless GOP would be fine with that. Just send the little urchins to school but be sure to protect the things of real value; their precious guns. Oh and fetuses, too. Once the fetus is born, screw it. All we have to say to Texas is: Please secede! And take Oklahoma, Arkansas and the other ass backward southern states with you. We promise we won’t fight a war to keep you with us this time. Goodbye and good riddance, you stupid sanctimonious, holier-than-thou assholes!

The future inmates of Texas' educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.
The future inmates of Texas’ educational system will be groomed with all kinds of fun alternative facts while also preserving the precious guns of Texans.

Please Texas…Secede!


The Texas school board recently stated that Texas students will begin using new textbooks which teach that slavery was just a side issue to the civil war and never mention Jim Crow laws or the Ku Klux Klan. So basically it whitewashes racism and the whole Civil War. Then there’s that whole Jade Helm 15 crap. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Texas is a red state filled with conservative christians, who also believe that the earth is less than 10,000 years old and that man co-existed with the dinosaurs. This is pretty dangerous stuff folks. Texas is purposely teaching their children false dogmas and history that just isn’t true. We think that Texas should make good on its repeated threats during Obama’s presidency and just secede from the United States. Actually we beg of you Texas; please take the Bushes, Rick Perry and Ted Cruz and form your own country! You’ll be happier without us and we’ll definitely be happier without you and your Texas size egos!

A Texas school teacher proudly teaches his class that slavery was fun and Negroes enjoyed the hell out of it and a conservative christian reminds the kids that the earth is only 6000 years old.

Texas now teaches its children that the whole slavery thing was just one big festival and Jesus probably rode a brontosaurus.

And The Whining Begins


You knew that the Republicans wouldn’t take the election results well but this last week has been ridiculous. From Donald Trump’s asinine tweets for ‘Revolution’, to Karl Rove’s refusal to believe that Obama won Ohio and the election, to the petitions being signed by red staters who want to secede from the United States. We hear that Texas has already collected over 80,000 signatures. We here at the Bucket say good riddance to the Lone Star state. They can go create their own country and elect Dubya as their eternal emperor for all we care. Oh yeah! That will be a great country!

Compassionate, conservative, Republican leaders respond to the re-election of President Obama like the true, whiny, sucky, crybabies they are.