Tag Archive for Palin

Arizona’s Crusty Old Obstructionist

We’ve commented before about so called ‘maverick’ Arizona Senator John McCain’s about face on Senate confirmation of Supreme Court nominations. Well, he recently confirmed what everyone knew; that the Republicans will continue their pattern of obstructionism if Hillary Clinton becomes President. To hell with his constitutional duty; the Republican Party comes first in America. This pretty much cements our opinion here at the Bucket that Senator McCain is well past his prime and needs to retire. Fortunately, his Democrat opponent, Ann Kirkpatrick, is hitting hard with her ads against McCain, commenting about his support of right wing wackos from Sarah Palin to Donald Trump. Will it be enough to defeat him? We’re not holding our breath. Unfortunately, most polls indicate McCain winning handily. So it appears we’ll have at least six more years of Republican partisanship with our crusty, old, obstructionist prospector senator, John McCain.

Crusty old coot John McCain promises to be agin' all of Hillary Clinton's Supreme Court Justice picks even if she picks him.

Many sane Arizonans are fed up with crusty old coot and Republican Senator John McCain’s obstructionist shenanigans and vigorously encourage his retirement from politics.

Trump’s Trumpeters

The first election of the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 is coming up this Monday and everyone is getting in some late minute BS slinging before Iowans go to the polls in the Iowa Caucuses. Donald Trump made quite a ruckus (what else is new!) this past week by bypassing the Fox News Republican debate this past Thursday because Donald Trump doesn’t like Megyn Kelly. Geez! For a tough guy, Trump sure is acting like a baby. But again, what else is new for this megalomaniac who recently bragged that he could shoot people in the middle of New York and still not lose voters.  While this statement shows how dangerously psychotic Trump is, it says more about how insane Trump’s supporters are because he’s actually right. Donald Trump could murder innocent people and his demented supporters would still vote for him.

Speaking of people supporting Trump, he’s got quite an eclectic list of celebrity endorsements heading into Iowa. Rolling Stone has another list. If you look at the lists, there are a lot of authoritarian, tough guy, manly men like Arizona’s own Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio, Hulk Hogan, Mike Tyson and Russian President Vladimir Putin who said of Trump “he’s a bright and talented person”. We guess it takes a tyrant to know a tyrant. We’re sure that Putin and Trump could team up and subjugate the hell out of the rest of the world just like Stalin and Hitler did. Of course, all of these aggressive egotists would rather fight and kill than use something peaceful like diplomacy.

On the female side, there’s Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, who gave the strangest endorsement speech of all time (we like Stephen Colbert’s mockery of it). Conservative harpie and living skeleton Ann Coulter, anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly and empty headed reality star Tila Tequila all are Trumpeters on Trump’s solid gold bandwagon.

But probably the strangest endorsement was by John Wayne. Although the Duke has been dead since 1979 , his daughter Aissa said that if John Wayne were alive today, he would endorse the Donald. You see Donald Trump’s 19th century mindset sits perfectly with the cowboy image embodied by the Duke. So to make America great again, we just have to make everything like it was back in the days of the Wild West (everybody’s got a gun; shoot first, ask questions later; tough, tough, tough; kill, kill, kill, etc…). We think Donald Trump’s motto should be, “We’re Going Back To The Future”.

Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, the ghost of John Wayne and Donald Trump all think that Donald Trump is great.

Megalomaniac GOP candidate Donald Trump modestly acknowledges his ‘greatness’ to his adoring fans like Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and the ghost of John Wayne.

Do Unto Your Brother; But Only If He’s Christian

The big news lately in the wake of the Paris terrorists’ attack last week is what to do with the Syrian refugees. Many Americans are against letting them into the country at all, while others are demanding stricter standards for allowing them into the country. While we think sending troops to Syria is a knee jerk reaction, we  think stricter vetting of the refugees isn’t such a bad idea. We should use the same solid background checks that we use for any American who wants to purchase a gun. What could possibly go wrong with that plan? (Side note:Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, recently piped up and said Jesus would have loved guns.)

We also find it a bit odd that the most christian of the christians of the Republican candidates are saying that only christian refugees should be allowed into the country. Hmmmm…what would Capitalist Jesus have to say about that?

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests to use them on Syrian refugees because Christians rule.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, confesses his love for guns and suggests a use for them to his gun loving Christian followers.

 

Insert Knife; Twist Knife

Just when you thought the Republicans couldn’t be more obnoxious, they surprise you and pull off an even more colossally dickish move. In a move right out of Julius Caesar, our Senate Republican Brutuses sent a letter to Iran signed by 47 Republican Senators (7 Republicans, to their credit, didn’t sign) saying that even if the Iranians reach an agreement with Obama, there’s no guarantee that it will be ratified by the Congress. So basically, the Republicans have gone behind the President’s back once again with a foreign power, undermining the President’s authority. They have committed treason for the second time in a week. Here’s a list of the 47 imbeciles who have committed treason against America. Even Iran’s Foreign Minister Javad Zarif dismissed the letter as “mostly a propaganda ploy” and also challenging Republicans on their understanding of constitutional law and of the U.S. Constitution.

Here’s some other reviews on this astronomically assholish move. The New York Daily News said, “We strenuously condemn their betrayal of the U.S. Constitutional System”. The American Conservative said, “Ignorant…Unwelcome and Potentially Harmful. The Washington Post said, “Farcically condescending in word and tone”. The Kansas City Star said, “A nearly unprecedented attempt by one party to meddle in the foreign diplomatic affairs of the United States.” The Detroit Free Press said, “A profound and dismaying disrespect for the office of the Presidency.” We think you get the picture, but go ahead and read why this is “one of the most plainly stupid things a group of senators has ever done”.

It’s pretty obvious that the Republicans are doing everything possible to undermine the President. Many Republicans have openly said they’ve wanted Obama to fail ever since he’s gotten into office.  Can we expect to see a push for impeachment in the next year? As Teabagger darling Sarah Palin would say, “You betcha!”

President Obama proceeds cautiously with negotiations with Iran on their nuclear program, while Senate Republicans like John McCain, Mitch McConnell and Ted Cruz prepare to stick their knives in and commence to twisting.

President Obama proceeds cautiously with negotiations with Iran on their nuclear program, while Senate Republicans prepare to stick their knives in the President’s back and commence to twisting.

The New GOP Strategist

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably know about the conservative movement’s new hero, Cliven Bundy. He’s the Nevada Rancher who’s been grazing his cattle on federal lands because he feels that it’s his land and not the gubmint’s. Well, as we all know from the Sarah Palin for Vice President fiasco in 2008, conservative Republicans don’t seem to be too good at the vetting process. Just after Fox News ‘journalist’ Sean Hannity, picked Mr. Bundy as his new American hero, ol’ Cliven proclaimed his belief that African Americans had a good thing going with slavery. Although initial indications are that Republicans are putting distance between themselves and ol’ Cliven (at least for the time being), we think that the GOP has a new position for him.

Republican Party chairman, Reince Priebus, announces that new conservative darling, Cliven Bundy, will be the new GOP strategist for the upcoming 2014 elections.

The Republican Party has announced that new conservative darling, Cliven Bundy, will be the new GOP strategist for the upcoming 2014 elections.

The Madman Ranteth

Last month, aging rocker and gun aficionado Ted Nugent, a.k.a The Motor City Madman, commented that President Obama was a ‘subhuman mongrel’. Nugent is well known for his outspoken hatred of President Obama but even this statement brought condemnation from many Republicans, even the folks at Fox News, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network. This outrage is justified as that particular phrase was used by the Nazis to condone the extermination of not only Jews but Slavs, Poles, communists, socialists, Roma and homosexuals.  But there was one Tea Party patriot who gave the ‘Nuge’ a thumbs up. Sarah Palin endorsed Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott, by saying “if he’s good enough for Ted Nugent, he’s good enough for me”. Yes, the Republican party sure has admirable spokespeople for the future.

Sarah Palin approves of Ted Nugent's plan to hunt down subhuman mongrel supporters of President Obama.

Aging rocker and gun enthusiast, Ted Nugent, a.k.a the Motor City Madman, demonstrates why he and Sarah Palin are at the forefront of the Tea Party movement in the Republican party.

Celebrate Christmas or Die!

Do you need a last minute holiday gift? You came to the right place! Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book just in time for you to buy it and stuff it… in your stocking for Christmas, Festivus or whatever the hell holiday you celebrate this time of year. He gives key strategies on dealing with people who have non-Christian ideologies and how to beat the holy hell out them, all in the joyous spirit of the season. And with a foreward by Ms. Ubetcha, how can anyone refuse!

Bill O'Reilly book Celebrate Christmas or Die! : How to win the War on Christmas

Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book filled with strategies on how to annihilate anyone who has the audacity to wish you 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'.

 

 

 

Top Holiday Gifts For 2013

The holiday season is in full swing. If you haven’t spent yourself into bankruptcy yet and are still looking for the right gift for that special someone in your life, look no further. Our intrepid staff has conveniently compiled a list of the hot “gotta have it” items for this years holiday season. Take this to the mall and don’t forget your helmet, spiked gloves and shoulder pads. Holiday shopping is dangerous!

  • An Official Miley Cyrus Foam Finger
  • A painting by George W. Bush of George W. Bush in the bathtub
  • ‘Moby Dick’ by Rand Paul
  • The NSA Super Snooper Spy Kit – For Kids
  • Ted Cruz’s new fragrance: Arrogant Ass
  • A lump of coal autographed by Dick Cheney
  • ‘The Great Gatsby’ by Rand Paul
  • Sarah Palin’s Book ‘Good Tidings and Great Joy’ Yule Log
  • ‘Kwanzaa For Dummies’ by Paula Deen
  • A Carlos Danger Action Figure with Realistic Twerkin’ Motion
  • Walter White’s Meth Starter Kit – For Kids
  • ‘Atlas Shrugged’ by Rand Paul
  • A ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ T-Shirt (blatant capitalistic plug)
  • Guns, guns and more guns
  • Healthcare

 

Holiday Conversations At The Mall

iPads, iPhones, Androids and other mobile devices are everywhere and you can really observe this when you go xmas shopping your nearest mall. In the olden days, one might turn to the person shopping next to them or standing in line and start a conversation. Now, everyone is having conversations… on their cell phones. They’re chatting with their best friends about the bargains they’re seeing or they’ve got their heads down gazing at their smart phones checking their all important Facebook status. Happy Holidays folks, but please don’t talk to us…we’re playing Angry Birds.

Everyone is spreading holiday cheer this year at the local shopping mall by constantly checking their mobile devices and having conversations...on their cell phones.

 

 

The Gospel According To Sarah

Hey everyone…Sarah Palin’s back in the news. Yay!!!

We don’t waste much time on the Tea Party Princess anymore because…well…she’s a waste of time. But Ms. Ubetcha was out recently promoting her book on the ‘War on Christmas’ when she made comments about how Pope Francis was sounding kind of liberal lately. Really? Imagine that. Bill Maher’s reply to her ‘insightful’ comment hit the nail on the head.  Maybe she would like our ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ t-shirt as a gift for Xmas.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, offers his support for Sarah Palin, advice on dealing with people of different religious persuasions, and suggestions for a great stocking stuffer this holiday season.