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Foolproof Gun Control Solution

The coronavirus has gained the attention of the world recently with more than 65,000 cases reported globally and almost 1,5000 deaths. America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump even took an aggressive stand by issuing travel restrictions with China where the virus originated. But many feel that the travel ban could backfire. While we applaud this act of preparedness, health officials and the CDC say that the flu is much more dangerous and has already claimed 10,000 lives in the U.S. since October.

But there is one deathly scourge that continues to be ignored by the corporate media and the corrupt, conservative Republican corporate lackeys in Congress who continue to look the other way and do nothing. That menace is none other than gun violence. In America, gun violence kills far more people than coronavirus every year (36,000 gun deaths each year with more than 100,000 shot and injured) but yet the corporate media chooses to gaslight us and continue to scare the sheeple with the occasional and over-hyped biological threats. Over-hyped is a strong word but look at the numbers. According to the CDC, 445 people are under investigation in the U.S. for coronavirus. There are about 325 million people in America, so that means that 0.00013692307 percent of Americans have the virus. In China, which has almost 1.4 billion people, there are 60,000 confirmed cases. So, that means that 0.00428571428 percent of the Chinese population have the virus. There are already questions concerning the numbers being reported from Chinese officials.

This is par for the course for the Republicans and their cohorts in the corporate media. Would Trump ever consider signing an executive order banning assault weapons? Are you kidding???!!! The Republicans love using viruses as way to scare the sheeple. Look at the 2014 election, when the GOP announced to everybody that Ebola was coming to get them. Ebola can only be transmitted if you’re in direct contact with bodily fluids of an infected person, but that didn’t bother the Republicans from lying their asses off to get their permanently scared constituents to vote for them to ‘save the day’. We’ve seen how much more corrupt they’ve become since then with their whitewashing of Trump during his impeachment trial and the complete collapse of the now corrupted Department of Justice.

Since Republicans refuse to do anything about our biggest crisis, we here at the Bucket have a foolproof method of gun control. Sure it’s a bit crude but you know what, so are today’s right wing conservative gun nuts. So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, if you love guns more than life itself:

go home
give your favorite firearm a blow job
bring that gun to orgasm

Or in simpler terms: Go F*ck Your Gun! We guarantee it will be a mind-blowing experience and we might finally be able to pass some decent legislation making America safe and sane again before the next round of mass shootings.

Here's a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience! — Here’s a handy dandy gun control solution for all those gun enthusiasts out there who love their guns more than life itself. Guaranteed to be a mind-blowing experience!

GOP: Trump Über Alles

We knew before the impeachment process began that the Republicans would acquit America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump of any wrongdoing (with Spiff Romney being the lone Republican to vote to convict – note: we’ve given Romney a lot of crap over the years but he got it right this time; Good job!) but it doesn’t make it any easier to take it. To their credit, the Democrats, led by Adam Schiff, did an exceptional job of proving Trump’s guilt in the quid pro quo bullying of Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden in exchange for foreign aid. Which makes it infuriating to watch the self-proclaimed ‘morally superior’ GOP make a complete sham out of the proceedings. The charlatans didn’t even want witnesses called! Polls indicated that 75 percent of Americans thought witnesses should be called. What’s a trial without witnesses! Well, apparently it’s completely normal in Trumpland, where the Kansas City Chiefs play their games in Kansas City, Kansas instead of Kansas City, Missouri and Donald Trump is a master meteorologist.

The fact is that Republicans even admitted that Trump is guilty and they’re still voting to acquit him. Lamar Alexander said Trump did the quid pro quo but it’s not impeachable. Linda Murkowski said pretty much the same thing, saying what Trump did was “shameful and wrong”, but that she couldn’t vote to convict. So basically, in the warped mind of a conservative, lying about sex is impeachable and asking for foreign aid on a political rival is a-okay. Just put little baby Donald in time-out and he won’t do it again. But Trump is already reported plotting revenge on all the people who wronged him.

Chief Justice John Roberts did nothing to dispel his perception of being a partisan hack. Remember Roberts fully approved of the Citizens United verdict that gave unlimited power to corporate America to contribute to campaigns. And despite his voting for Obamacare, we knew he was still a true conservative Republican. He could have intervened and insisted on witnesses, but he didn’t. He seemingly has no qualms on presiding over a travesty of justice. Great example there, Chief Justice Roberts!

The GOP keeps whining that the Democrats are trying for a coup, which is a complete projection of what the Republicans have done since the 2016 election which they stole thanks to Russian election interference and suspension of the rule of law for selecting a Supreme Court justice (Merrick Garland) in the Senate by Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy. Even Karl Rove admitted during Dubya’s fiasco of a presidency that he was determined to have the same kind of Republican hegemony that existed between 1865 and 1932 when Mark Hanna was the chief political operative and only two Democrats served as president during that span (Grover Cleveland – two non-consecutive terms, 1885-1889, 1893-1897; Woodrow Wilson 1913-1921). Now with thisclusterf*ck of a trial, the Republicans have pretty much deemed that Trump can do whatever the hell he wants to do and not suffer any kind of consequences and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This despite the fact that since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in presidential elections once. We agree with the many people who are saying that just like the 2016 election, the megalomaniac Trump will never accept the results of the 2020 election if he loses and America will have yet another constitutional crisis involving Trump and the Republicans.

So, in true right wing, conservative Republican, authoritarian fashion, life in the United States can now be summed up by the mantra, Trump über alles. Enjoy your fascism, America – oh… and Heil Trump!

With their sham impeachment trial, Senate Republicans have officially declared that America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is above the law and that democracy and rule of law no longer exist in the United States. In other words, Trump über alles, or in other other words, Heil Trump! — With their sham impeachment trial, Senate Republicans have officially declared that America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, is above the law and that democracy and rule of law no longer exist in the United States. In other words, Trump über alles, or in other other words, Heil Trump!

GOP: What A Bunch Of Crybabies

The impeachment trial has started and as predicted it’s pretty much like we expected. The Democrats, led by the impressively competent Adam Schiff are presenting the undeniable mounds of evidence that prove that America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump is guilty of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress and should be convicted and removed from office. The Republicans, on the other hand, are whining and crying like the f*cking crybabies they are, trying to protect their dear Leader.

The Senate rules for the impeachment are strict but not unreasonable considering the implications involved. Senators are not allowed to use their cell phones or electronic devices. They’re not allowed to get up and move around. They must sit and listen to the evidence presented so that they can make an informed decision. But are the GOP senators doing that? Of course not! All we hear is them doing what Republicans always do; scoff at any laws and do whatever the hell they want to do. Laws are fine for other people, but not Republicans! Senators have been seen leaving the chambers, talking, and even sleeping. Yes and . . . surprise, surprise . . . Chief Justice John Roberts, who is forced to observe “the living consequences of the Roberts Court’s decisions, and their corrosive effect on democracy, are plain to see”, is pretty much letting the Republicans get away with it.

What we find especially annoying is the conservative Republican complaint that it is boring. They used this tactic during the impeachment hearing and now the GOP is using it in the Senate. Even poor, widdle Spiff Romney is bored. Oh, boo, hoo, hoo! So, here’s the deal. Republican senators, who get paid a boat load of money, can’t focus enough for eight to twelve hours a day and do their jobs when most of us have to do precisely that each and every day of our adult lives. It’s called doing your job! Look at all the emergency first responders like firefighters or policemen who work several hours, even days straight, to get a job done. Look at all the service personnel, like plumbers, A/C repair people and electricians who have to work and focus for several consecutive hours straight each and every day to keep people with modern conveniences like running water, comfortable temperatures and electricity. Look at our military personnel who work long grueling shifts on bases and ships each and every day. And we’re supposed to feel sorry for you pampered assholes because you have to focus like adults and listen to evidence. What a crock of shit! The Republicans are proving again to the nation what they truly are: whiny, sucky, over-privileged crybabies!

Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies are throwing their finest temper tantrums in order to protect their crooked dear Leader, America's CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, from being convicted and removed from office during his impeachment trial. — Whiny, sucky GOP crybabies are throwing their finest temper tantrums in order to protect their crooked dear Leader, America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump, from being convicted and removed from office during his impeachment trial.

Immigration Irony

With Trump’s impeachment trial getting started, the Republicans are still trying to get some distraction action going. News of a yet another migrant caravan has reached the headlines in the last week with people crying hysterically that the immigrants are coming to get us. Trump certainly knows his audience; nothing gets the right wing, authoritarian screaming mimis riled up more than immigrants ‘coming to take our jobs’.

We’ve had this photo-toon in our graphics bin for a little while, but with the Trump flak generator spewing forth drivel and spam on an hourly basis, it kind of got lost in the shuffle of the impeachment drama. But the very first Americans, like Geronimo, also had an immigration problem with people who stole their land, murdered their citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

Like we’ve mentioned many times before, the fact is we’re all immigrants to North America. The Native Americans have been here the longest, but even they migrated tens of thousands of years ago. Truly, if any people have the right to protest about immigrants taking their land, it’s the Native Americans. Since the history books of our childhood don’t really explain this narrative properly, we recommend the book Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown.

Geronimo sarcastically asks modern day Americans about their immigration problems. — Historical Reminder: The very first Americans had a serious immigration problem with foreigners who invaded their land, killed off citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

Look…Over There…War!

Gee . . . we couldn’t have seen this coming. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has decided to start a war with Iran because he needs a distraction from being the third president in U.S. history to be impeached. This week, on the orders of our megalomaniac-in-chief, Qassem Soleimani, the highest ranking General in the Iranian military was killed by U.S. bombing in Baghdad. Iran, not surprisingly, has vowed vengeance which pretty much means that another war in the Middle East is inevitable.

We’ve observed quite a few wars in the past sixty years and we already recognize the corporate media falling in line with the warmongering Republican’s position and the military industrial complex’s ‘war is good business’ mantra. The media is touting the ‘elite’ Iranian military groups like Soleimani’s Quds Force, a part of their Revolutionary Guard, much in the same way they touted the ‘elite’ Republican guards in Iraq during the lead up to the Gulf War and the Iraq War; fearsome dangerous forces akin to the Nazi stormtroopers. However, in both wars, American troops had little trouble dispatching the ‘elite’ forces in short term armed conflict. It was the long protracted stays in Iraq and Afghanistan, the quagmires, which created problems. But at the same time, it also made many defense and military contractors very wealthy.

What’s especially frustrating is that with the U.S. at war, it’s pretty much guaranteed that impeaching Trump will be a difficult proposition. Many presidents, (including Bill Clinton during his impeachment in 1998), have pulled this kind of shenanigan as a distraction to impending domestic political crisis. This might also help Trump in the 2020 election since the general rule of thumb is that you never change presidents in the middle of a war, which is why Dubya won a second term, despite being a disastrous president. Bush’s repetitive screed of ‘9/11, terror, war, re-elect me’ certainly scared his conservative Republican sheeple to vote for him again in 2004, which is the only time since 1988 a Republican has won the popular vote for president.

Maybe this will be the event that finally breaks the enigmatic bond between Trump and his sheeple followers. After all, he did promise no more wars and to reduce American troops in the Middle East. However, we have no doubt that the evangelicals will view this action as joyous because it puts them one step closer to their precious rapture. Of course, sane, reasonable, intelligent people worldwide will view it quite differently; yet another reprehensible action by a deranged sociopath and his delusional followers who shouldn’t be anywhere close to the corridors of power.

Facing an ignominious impeachment, America's CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey 'The Hypocrite' Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy. — Facing an ignominious impeachment, America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump decided he needed a distraction, so he started another war in the Middle East, this time with Iran, much to the delight of his sycophantic followers in the Senate, Lindsey ‘The Hypocrite’ Graham and Moscow Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy.

Nobody Knows The Trouble Trump’s Seen

America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump has been impeached by the Democratic controlled House of Representatives and the Republicans are in full, whiny, crybaby persecution mode. They’ve done everything from having a moment of silence for the 63 million people who voted for Trump in 2016 (what about the 66 million who voted for Clinton or the 8 million who voted for third party candidates!) to one GOP congressman from Georgia actually comparing Trump’s impeachment to the trials and tribulations of Jesus. Jesus Christ!!! What a load of malarkey!!!!

We’ve droned on forever about how hypocritical the evangelical, conservative christian sheeple are for supporting Trump but this takes the cake. At least one christian magazine has come forward and openly supports impeaching the orange-haired megalomaniac. Maybe, just maybe, this will start a backlash that will start christians waking up and realizing that Trump is nothing more than a golden calf. Yeah right!!! But hey, it’s the supposedly ‘magical’ holiday season – we can dream can’t we!

IMPEACH!!!

Finally. . . the Democrats have started an impeachment inquiry! And all it took was America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump brazenly and stupidly asking another country for dirt on a political opponent. In yet another candidate for the ‘Are you freaking kidding me’ file, Trump asked Ukraine President and former comedian Volodymyr Zelensky in a phone conversation to do Trump a favor and investigate Joe Biden and his son Hunter. The orange haired man child even released partial transcripts which proves a quid pro quo element to the dialogue. Of course, this little kerfuffle with Ukraine and its naive new President only helps Trump’s best buddy, Vladimir Putin. But to make sure that breaking the law doesn’t bother Trump, he just asked China for dirt on Biden as well.

Not only is Trump in trouble, but Attorney General Bill Barr and Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani are also implicated in the mob style pressuring and the corresponding cover up. Whistleblowergate is blowing the Trump administration to smithereens and in true Trumpian fashion, the narcissistic megalomaniac is throwing everyone under the bus except himself. Trump is unraveling before the nation’s eyes, even calling for the identity of the whistleblower and threatening civil war if he is impeached. Most of the nation’s militias are right-wing and they are disturbingly taking Trump’s threats seriously.

Will Whistleblowergate finally be the straw that removes Trump from office? We’re skeptical but hopeful. Many Republicans are showing signs of abandoning Trump. Even Jeff Flake (if he can truly be believed) mentioned that if Republicans in the Senate could vote silently, at least thirty-five would vote for Trump to be impeached and removed. We’re hoping Adam Schiff and the Dems in the House keep up the pressure and overwhelming convince the nation that Trump is nothing more than a bully, a con artist and a crook. Polls indicate that more and more Americans are approving of the impeachment inquiry. This is a good thing for not only this nation but every nation on the planet.

The Joker

Joaquin Phoenix’s new movie Joker has opened to rave reviews and large box office projections for his performance as a mentally defective wanna-be comedian who becomes a psychotic super villain spreading chaos and disorder everywhere he goes.

In eerily parallel reality, American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump continues to be a mentally defective wanna-be world leader who has led America into a world of chaos that threatens the very tenets of democracy and is ripping this country to shreds while simultaneously ruining our country’s standing on the world stage.

Apparently these days, Americans seem to be obsessed with psychotic sociopaths who want to create chaos.

Joker: Not to be outdone by Joaquin Phoenix, American CEO/Dictator and 'stable genius' Donald Trump releases his own Joker movie where he promises law and order but delivers chaos that promotes hatred and violence thus threatening to rip apart the democratic institutions on which the nation was founded. Rated R for Repulsive. — Joker: Not to be outdone by Joaquin Phoenix, American CEO/Dictator and ‘stable genius’ Donald Trump releases his own Joker movie where he promises law and order but delivers chaos that promotes hatred and violence thus threatening to rip apart the democratic institutions on which the nation was founded. Rated R for Repulsive.

The Last Responder

The Trump presidency continues on its catastrophic way while America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, keeps spinning more lies, delusions and deceptions to the American people. The Washington Post lie counter is well over 12,000 and the petulant man child shows no sign of letting up. He really has a penchant for alternative facts and alternative history as well like his Battle of Yorktown Airport speech just last month. As we’ve noted before, his cronies also serve up a heaping helping of distracting flak as well.

In keeping with his history of distraction, Donald Trump recently regaled the media and a group of first responders with tales of how he was actually at Ground Zero after 9/11 helping out the firefighters despite there being no actual evidence that he did anything. He also claimed to have predicted 9/11, saw thousands of Muslims celebrating and saw people jumping from the Twin Towers from his penthouse. All false statements. Of course, facts don’t matter to Trump or to his supporters. Anytime someone accuses him of stretching the truth he projects, like his conservative Republican cohorts, and calls the real news ‘Fake News’, while everything that spews forth from his gaping maw is ‘the truth’. This is red meat to his troll like followers. If Trump said 2+2=4 is fake, his followers would blindly follow. And as we’ve seen, when he speaks hateful rhetoric like ‘go back to where they came from’, his followers load up their guns and take aim.

So, let’s delve into that warped mind that is Donald Trump. Let’s imagine what it was like on that fateful day back on September 11, 2001, when Golden Man of Truth, Donald Trump, the muscles of his sculptured body rippling, stepped to the forefront upon a piece of wreckage and proclaimed to the weary firefighters, “Follow me, boys”; and then proceeded to save the soul of not only New Yorkers but all Americans. It’s all there folks, in Donald Trump’s imagination.

America’s CEO/Dictator, pathological prevaricator and man with a perpetual case of liarrhea, Donald Trump, recently regaled the masses with the story of how on 9/11, he stepped to the forefront and bravely led the first responders in rescuing many New Yorkers and saving the soul of America.

Moscow Mitch; Or Moscow’s Bitch

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, has been in the headlines a lot lately. Apparently poor little Mitchy doesn’t like his new nickname, ‘Moscow Mitch’, given to him for his refusal to pass election security bills that would ensure Russia doesn’t interfere with the 2020 elections like they did in 2016. Why would anyone, especially a United States Senator, want a hostile foreign nation to interfere with our democratic elections?

Well, Turtle Boy knows that without Russian help, Republicans have no hope of winning. Ever since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in the presidential elections once – that’s right folks – one time(2004). The only reason they’re even competitive in the House of Representatives is because districts are so gerrymandered by GOP controlled states that Republicans have a distinct advantage over Democratic candidates. Even Robert Mueller warned of Russian interference in his recent testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. The Russians hacked elections in all fifty states in 2016. Furthermore, Moscow Mitch knew about it and still did nothing to stop it in 2016 and he will continue to nothing about it because Moscow Mitch places the Republican party above country.

Moscow Mitch also has dubious ties to Russia in that Kentucky has gotten some pretty sweet deals from Russian oligarchs. Yes, Moscow Mitch has sold out his country for fun and profit and yet he has the audacity to accuse Democrats and media outlets of ‘modern day McCarthyism’. How is this dipshit still getting elected despite an approval rating in the thirties in his home state of Kentucky? Maybe its because voting machine companies donate heavily to his coffers. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; Corporate America has fixed it so Moscow Mitch gets elected time and time again because . . . you know. . . corporations are people, too. Thanks Supreme Court!

So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname 'Moscow Mitch' while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker. — Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname ‘Moscow Mitch’ while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.