Tag Archive for illegal immigration

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wall

Trump is closing in on the 100 day mark with very little to show for it. Other than his placement of Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court (which has more to do with Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and his fellow Senate Republicans using the nuclear option), he’s done nothing more than bomb Syria and bomb Afghanistan and those were done mostly to distract people’s attention away from the investigation into his ties with Russia during the 2016 election and give boners to journalists like Brian Williams and Fareed Zakaria.

Well, there’s been a clamoring recently about what Trumpty Dumpty plans to do with his promised wall, which he promised would be a done deal by now. The truth is the wall isn’t needed, most people don’t want it and it would be a massive waste of taxpayers money, much like Trump’s repeated trips to his posh, opulent Florida resort, Mar-a-lago, so he can play golf. During the Obama administration, illegal immigration declined (1 million unauthorized immigrants returned to Mexico) and will continue to go down (illegal crossing down 40% in Trump’s first month) because the United States has the biggest, most dangerous doofus, outside of North Korea, in charge of the country. The only deterrent we need is plastering the Donald’s face on welcome billboards at the border with some of his delightful words of wisdom and nobody in their right mind would want to come into this country. Hell, we don’t even want to stay in this country with the orange rage monster at the helm. So we say, we don’t need no stinkin’ wall.

The United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration featuring Donald Trump welcoming people from Mexico with his words of wisdom.

Instead of building an unnecessary, expensive border wall, the United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration.

Ebola Is Coming! Ebola is Coming?

Remember those halcyon days before the election when the Republicans and, not coincidentally, the supposedly ‘liberal’ media were blathering on and on about how immigrant children were amassing at the border ready to flow into America and take everyone’s jobs; and ISIS was amassing at the border ready to take hostages and behead Americans; and of course the biggest threat of all, the Ebola virus was amassing at the border ready to infect Americans and cause a hideous and painful death. Not surprisingly, these fear tactics worked like gangbusters on the American sheeple. Lo and behold, Congress and the Senate are now filled with Republicans. Nowadays, there’s rarely mention of these menacing invaders ready to take freedom from every American. Surely, Ebola will resurface next year, when the Republicans need to scare the public into voting for Jeb Bush or whoever the Republican Presidential candidate is.

Rednecks discuss how Republicans scared away the Ebola virus and will now make everyone rich.

Some red state Republican voters discuss the brilliance of the GOP fearmongering campaign during the 2014 election, which not only scared away the Ebola virus but will certainly make everyone rich.

 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Hey, how ’bout those elections, huh? Kind of makes you want to move to Canada. Hell, this whole month has been nothing but a stunning display of…how shall we say…stupidity. Former healthcare guru, Jonathon Gruber is being lambasted for his comments on the ACA a.k.a. Obamacare in saying that it passed because of ‘the stupidity of the American voter’. Well, everybody’s mad at him for saying that but the election results back him up on this statement. Congress has an 11 percent approval rating and yet the electorate decided to put 96 percent of these clowns back in office. And only 36 percent of registered voters decided to cast their ballots, the lowest voter turnout since WWII. And furthermore, Democrats, instead of touting the success of Obamacare and the many things he’s accomplished in office, act like they don’t know him. Unfriggingbelievable stupidity all the way around!!! They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So I guess Americans are both stupid and insane…what a winning combination! Of course, that does explain why we won’t do anything about gun violence, but we have a conniption fit when an illegal immigrant child toddles across our border.

Despite 11 percent approval ratings, 96 percent of Congress was retained.

2014 election highlights: A majority of the American electorate decided to let a minority of pinheads put 96 pecent of the dumbass corporate lackeys back in office so that they can keep on screwing America. YAY!!!

Let The Children Suffer

Hold onto your hats everyone. Conservative christian Republicans are upset at President Obama! Shocking right? Unaccompanied immigrant children have been crossing the border in record numbers this year and who’s fault is it according to the right wing christians? Obama’s of course, even though the surge is related to law to curb child trafficking passed in 2008 and signed into law by….George W. Bush. What should we do with all these children? Conservative christians have been screaming loudly about the only obvious solution…send the little varmints back. What a great christian attitude! That’s certainly what Jesus would have done…or at least Capitalist Jesus would have done it. Just let holier than thou Bill O’Reilly explain it to you. The new updated Jesus message on little urchins now reads ‘Let the Children Suffer’.

Capitalist Jesus says that the immigrant children should go back to Mexico or rot.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, updates his message on little urchins to now say 'Let the children suffer'.

SCOTUS Interruptus

The Supreme Court decided by a 5-3 decision Monday to disallow the majority of Arizona’s unenforceable SB1070 anti-immigration law, written by former Arizona state senator, Russell “I’m not a Nazi” Pearce, and signed into law by Governor Jan “Skeletor” Brewer back into 2010. But what we found disturbing was that the heart of the law, the stopping of ‘suspected’ illegal immigrants, was upheld. This was the most controversial part of the law because it doesn’t define what an illegal immigrant looks like. This doesn’t matter to the proponents of this law because in their mind an illegal immigrant is Hispanic. The enforcement of this law will open up the state to lawsuit after lawsuit with justifiable complaints of racial profiling. We can only guess as to what kind of suggestions the fertile mind of ‘patriot’ Russell Pearce will come up with for further enforcement of this law.

Former Arizona state senator Russell "I'm not a Nazi" Pearce suggests to Arizona Governor Jan "Skeletor" Brewer a possible way to enforce anti-immigration law SB1070, which he authored.

Balancing On The Illegal Immigration Fence

Here’s an article from June 2, 2007 issue which discusses the Secure Borders, Economic Opportunity and Immigration Reform Act of 2007 which died in the Senate and was never voted on. It was basically a compromise bill so obviously Republicans hated it, but Democrats also were not fond of it. The article also features that flip-flopper extraordinaire, Spiff Romney. Is Romney for or against illegal immigration reform? Who knows…

Illegal Immigration Bill Explained

Congress and the President are currently sponsoring a very complex bill aimed at fixing the current immigration problem in the United States and while it has supporters on both side of the aisle, it also has detractors from both parties as well. Among some of the criticisms is that the bill is too complex and that immigrants won’t be able to understand it.

Conservative Republicans like South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint have said that the bill amounts to nothing more than amnesty. “It’s amnesty, I tell you. It’s nothing but amnesty. I haven’t read this bill but it is just plain amnesty. Amnesty, amnesty, amnesty. It’s amnesty and I’m agin’ it.” He then turned and spit some tobaccy juice into a nearby spittoon.

Republican candidate for President, Mitt Romney, agreed. “I, too, have not read this bill but basically it’s amnesty plain and simple and if John McCain supports it then I don’t. Vote Romney!”

President Bush scolded his fellow Republicans. “Shame on all of you! Shame! Shame! Shame! Not for not reading the bill…hell I didn’t read it either. But for disagreeing with me; the President. I am the President! I am the President! I am the President! What are you? Democrats? Terrorists? Ooops same thing, heh-heh! But mark my words; this bill will work and it’s not amnesty… whatever that is. Now have I ever steered you wrong these past six and half years?”

One of the bill’s architects, Republican Senator John McCain, took time to try and explain the bill. “It’s really very, very simple. I mean that damn Democrat Ted Kennedy supports this crap, so it has to be easy. First of all, the illegal immigrant has to register to become a guest worker and pay us five thousand smackeroonies. Then he goes back home to El Craphola or wherever the hell he came from for a period ranging from seven to seventy years. Then after the waiting period has expired he has to show up on the border on his given day and time and is given fifteen minutes to make it across the border and sign up again or else his registration is null and void and he has to reapply and go through the whole process again. Once across, he has to take a series of tests to prove he can speak English and can indeed do important immigrant tasks like work a leaf blower, serve fast food and pick vegetables. Once a skill has been established, the immigrant can stay in the country and work for not more than minimum wage, start paying taxes and not get health care, just like a regular American. Unless of course he’s skilled at the following skills: firing a rifle, driving trucks, and marching. Then he can become an American citizen right away, get commissioned as a private in the U.S. Army and get deployed to beautiful, downtown Baghdad. See. Pure simplicity.”

On hearing the details on the bill, Mitt Romney exclaimed, “I know I said I was against the bill, but I’ve changed my mind and I think the bill is not amnesty and therefore I support it. Oops. Wait a second folks. I thought about it again and I think it’s amnesty pure and simple. No. Wait. It’s not amnesty. I support it. No. Wait. John McCain supports it. So I don’t support it. So there you have it. I’m not sure. Vote Romney!”

Illegal immigrant, Sven Jurgensen, said, “Ah, screw it! I’m going to Canada!”