Tag: Kentucky

Like Father, Like Son

Straight out of the Oh, Da Irony file, comes this tidbit and just in time for April Fools Day. It seems crusty ol’ contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul has emerged from the his old prospector’s pit to give his two cents worth about the coronavirus and, surprise surprise, he’s agin’ it. We roundly mocked Paul during Con-a-thon 2012 and rightfully so. His views are and have always been all over the place.

Cue the entrance of his son, Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, who also was taking the coronavirus pandemic very lightly until, drum roll please, he tested positive for coronavirus even though he’s asymptomatic. But that didn’t stop ol’ Randy boy, no sir. After he got tested, he made the rounds at the gym and pool among other places before he got the results, thus possibly infecting many other individuals.

What makes this father and son pair’s actions even more astounding is that they’re both physicians. They should know better! Well, we think we know why they turned to politics. If they were still practicing medicine, their patients would probably be dead.

Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon, Ron Paul, reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.
Crusty, contrarian curmudgeon Ron Paul reckons that coronavirus is just a hoax, to which his son, contrarian Senator Rand Paul fully agrees, despite testing positive for the virus.

Moscow Mitch; Or Moscow’s Bitch

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, has been in the headlines a lot lately. Apparently poor little Mitchy doesn’t like his new nickname, ‘Moscow Mitch’, given to him for his refusal to pass election security bills that would ensure Russia doesn’t interfere with the 2020 elections like they did in 2016. Why would anyone, especially a United States Senator, want a hostile foreign nation to interfere with our democratic elections?

Well, Turtle Boy knows that without Russian help, Republicans have no hope of winning. Ever since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in the presidential elections once – that’s right folks – one time(2004). The only reason they’re even competitive in the House of Representatives is because districts are so gerrymandered by GOP controlled states that Republicans have a distinct advantage over Democratic candidates. Even Robert Mueller warned of Russian interference in his recent testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. The Russians hacked elections in all fifty states in 2016. Furthermore, Moscow Mitch knew about it and still did nothing to stop it in 2016 and he will continue to nothing about it because Moscow Mitch places the Republican party above country.

Moscow Mitch also has dubious ties to Russia in that Kentucky has gotten some pretty sweet deals from Russian oligarchs. Yes, Moscow Mitch has sold out his country for fun and profit and yet he has the audacity to accuse Democrats and media outlets of ‘modern day McCarthyism’. How is this dipshit still getting elected despite an approval rating in the thirties in his home state of Kentucky? Maybe its because voting machine companies donate heavily to his coffers. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; Corporate America has fixed it so Moscow Mitch gets elected time and time again because . . . you know. . . corporations are people, too. Thanks Supreme Court!

So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname 'Moscow Mitch' while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname ‘Moscow Mitch’ while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.