Tag Archive for immigration

Immigration Irony

With Trump’s impeachment trial getting started, the Republicans are still trying to get some distraction action going. News of a yet another migrant caravan has reached the headlines in the last week with people crying hysterically that the immigrants are coming to get us. Trump certainly knows his audience; nothing gets the right wing, authoritarian screaming mimis riled up more than immigrants ‘coming to take our jobs’.

We’ve had this photo-toon in our graphics bin for a little while, but with the Trump flak generator spewing forth drivel and spam on an hourly basis, it kind of got lost in the shuffle of the impeachment drama. But the very first Americans, like Geronimo, also had an immigration problem with people who stole their land, murdered their citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

Like we’ve mentioned many times before, the fact is we’re all immigrants to North America. The Native Americans have been here the longest, but even they migrated tens of thousands of years ago. Truly, if any people have the right to protest about immigrants taking their land, it’s the Native Americans. Since the history books of our childhood don’t really explain this narrative properly, we recommend the book Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown.

Geronimo sarcastically asks modern day Americans about their immigration problems.
Historical Reminder: The very first Americans had a serious immigration problem with foreigners who invaded their land, killed off citizens and swindled them for fun and profit.

And Now, For Our Next Fake Emergency…


American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, upset that he didn’t get all the money he wanted for his precious, unnecessary border wall, pulled a trick out his authoritarian dictator hat and declared a national emergency for a border crisis that doesn’t exist and which most sane Americans agree is bogus. According the 1975 National Emergencies Act, the president can declare a national emergency, but the specific emergency powers must be outlined and declared first. Some examples of national emergencies declared by other presidents include the 9/11 attacks (under Dubya), the Iran hostage crisis (Carter) or the 2009 H1N1 flu pandemic (Obama). All these seem to be legitimate declarations. But legitimacy doesn’t matter to our orange-haired, megalomaniac man child who pretends to be the President of the United States. He’s drunk with power and he wants to flaunt it like any other dictator in the world. And true to form, feckless Republicans like Lindsey Graham lined up to support Trump.

Fortunately for democracy, a bipartisan group of 58 former national security officials have decided to stand up to Trump and declare that “there is no factual basis” for his emergency. Hopefully, the slew of lawsuits being filed will also stop this nonsense.  If Trump gets away with this, then he will no doubt declare other fake national emergencies as well in the future. We wonder what the next ‘crisis’ declaration will be by Trumpty Dumpty in order to get what he wants.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, declares a national emergency so that the McRib becomes permanent, to which sycophant Lindsey Graham wholeheartedly approves and Mitch 'Turtle Boy' McConnell cowers in his shell.

Spineless sycophant Lindsey Graham fecklessly supports any crisis, real or imagined, that American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, comes up with, while Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell cowers in his shell.

Stephen Miller’s Fascist Hairstyles


America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, has taken ownership of the government shutdown all because he wants his precious border wall, which only right wing, anti-immigrant fascists want and a majority of Americans think shouldn’t be a priority. Like the stubborn man child he is, he’s hunkered down in the White House acting like the petulant megalomaniac he is, sending out pitiful ‘poor me’ tweets on Christmas Eve.

But what was really funny was when he recently sent out his Joseph Goebbels-in-training, Stephen Miller, to make the rounds advocating the border wall. In typical dickhead fashion, Miller humorlessly drove home his bullshit on news while sporting what looked to be spray on hair. Of course, the media took notice and mocked his horrible fashion sense. But maybe Stephen Miller has a future as a fashion icon for the alt-right authoritarian movement. We can definitely see a whole line of Stephen Miller hairstyles of the spray on variety for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Stephen Miller, ‘senior’ advisor to American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump and alt-right wunderkind, has come out with fashionable hairstyles for the fascist dickhead in your family.

Melania: We Don’t Care About You Anymore

Believe it or not, we’ve got standards here at the Bucket. We usually don’t poke fun at the family of a politician unless they themselves are politicians. We did have fun with the Bush twins(they were adults) and Laura Bush during Dubya’s regime and likewise with Michelle Obama. But Sasha and Malia were off limits as is Barron Trump. We did do one photo-toon with Trump’s children Eric, Donald Jr. and Ivanka, but again, they are adults. We also aren’t going to waste our time mocking them because…quite frankly…they aren’t worth it.

We’ve refrained from poking fun at First Lady Melania Trump because she seems to be truly miserable in her current position. Of all the Trumps, she seemed to be the one person who maybe, just maybe had a heart. We thought that until last week proved otherwise…hugely.

As she took off to visit the immigration camps last week, she chose to wear a jacket which had emblazoned on its back “I don’t really care, do u?” Now, Ms. Trump is really rich. She’s got tons of jackets from which to choose. This should’ve been a no-brainer. But apparently she’s as cold and ruthless as her husband. She could have chosen a less offensive item of clothing. But no. She chose to be a troll. Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt would’ve warn a jacket like that? Do you think the recently deceased Barbara Bush would’ve worn a jacket like that? No – of course not. They were human beings. Well, we’ve decided to take Melania off our personal do-not-disturb list and reward her for her truly ugly display of intolerance. We think, because of her action, she resembles a horse’s ass. But honestly, the horse’s ass wears that jacket much better.

Dear Melania Trump: We don't care about you anymore. P.S. The horse's ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Dear Melania Trump: We don’t care about you anymore. P.S. The horse’s ass wears the jacket much better than you.

Trump: Making America A Shithole

For the approximately the millionth time during his clusterf*ck of a presidency, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, managed to stick his foot in his mouth, this time pissing off a sizable chunk of the world. In discussing immigration and DACA, he lamented that the United States gets only immigrants from shithole countries like Haiti and El Salvador and wished for more people from Norway. And for the millionth time, conservative Republican lackeys bolted forward and disgracefully tried to spin Trump’s racist drivel.

Norwegians overwhelmingly rejected Trump’s offer, seeing that they’ve been named the happiest nation on the planet. Citizens from all over the globe also condemned Trump’s deplorable remarks. One of the more biting responses was from Christian Christensen, an American professor of journalism at Stockholm University in neighboring Sweden, who said on Twitter: “Of course people from #Norway would love to move to a country where people are far more likely to be shot, live in poverty, get no healthcare because they’re poor, get no paid parental leave or subsidized daycare and see fewer women in political power. #Shithole” Ouch! We couldn’t have said it better ourselves although we’ll try with this photo-toon.

A wise Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader.

A wise, happy Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wall

Trump is closing in on the 100 day mark with very little to show for it. Other than his placement of Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court (which has more to do with Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and his fellow Senate Republicans using the nuclear option), he’s done nothing more than bomb Syria and bomb Afghanistan and those were done mostly to distract people’s attention away from the investigation into his ties with Russia during the 2016 election and give boners to journalists like Brian Williams and Fareed Zakaria.

Well, there’s been a clamoring recently about what Trumpty Dumpty plans to do with his promised wall, which he promised would be a done deal by now. The truth is the wall isn’t needed, most people don’t want it and it would be a massive waste of taxpayers money, much like Trump’s repeated trips to his posh, opulent Florida resort, Mar-a-lago, so he can play golf. During the Obama administration, illegal immigration declined (1 million unauthorized immigrants returned to Mexico) and will continue to go down (illegal crossing down 40% in Trump’s first month) because the United States has the biggest, most dangerous doofus, outside of North Korea, in charge of the country. The only deterrent we need is plastering the Donald’s face on welcome billboards at the border with some of his delightful words of wisdom and nobody in their right mind would want to come into this country. Hell, we don’t even want to stay in this country with the orange rage monster at the helm. So we say, we don’t need no stinkin’ wall.

The United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration featuring Donald Trump welcoming people from Mexico with his words of wisdom.

Instead of building an unnecessary, expensive border wall, the United States has decided to implement a much more cost effective way of reducing illegal immigration and increasing emigration.

The Queen Of Alternative Facts

The Trump administration’s spin doctor, a.k.a resident bullshit artist, a.k.a. Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, has made quite a splash since Donald Trump has started his reign as CEO/Dictator of America.

Last week, she created the Orwellian term ‘alternative facts’ to defend Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s outright lie about the immensity of the Inauguration crowd despite the visual evidence to the contrary.

This week, she referenced the Bowling Green Massacre to justify Donald Trump’s immigration ban. The only problem with this is that the Bowling Green Massacre never happened. It’s not a lie folks, it’s just another alternative fact from the Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway.

The Trump Administration's Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, explains how Donald Trump ended the Bowling Green Massacre by killing Iraqis/Aliens with a laser cannon, thus saving America from certain death.

The Trump Administration’s Queen of Alternative Facts, Kellyanne Conway, spins another yarn inflating the legend of America’s CEO/Dictator Donald Trump.

Liberal Media My Ass!

Back in December we posted about how obnoxious the Republicans were being about President Obama’s immigration executive order. We also posted about their claims of Obama being an imperial president despite having the fewest number of executive orders of any two term president going back one hundred years. One thing we failed to mention is that none of the four major news networks decided to cover the President’s executive order. Let me repeat that; NONE. ZILCH. NADA. NULL. Hmm… we think that’s a fairly odd way for the ‘liberal media’ to behave. We would think a ‘liberal’ media would televise every moment of a supposedly ‘liberal’ president’s important executive order concerning immigration reform; touting it as the greatest event ever. But, not one of the four major news networks, ABC, NBC, CBS or FOX(big surprise), covered the event.

Now the Republican Noise and Fear Machine has its sights set on probable 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. They’ve already been whining about the Benghazi non-scandal. Now they’re crying about Hillary Clinton using a personal server for government email correspondence as Secretary of State. We’re not trying to sugarcoat Clinton’s handling of her email; she blundered.  But it’s no worse than when good ol’ Dubya lost millions of emails in 2007, which the supposedly ‘liberal’ media conveniently glossed over. Or the fact Colin Powell and Karl Rove have used personal email for their own purposes. Or that former Florida governor Jeb Bush, the leading Republican candidate for President in 2016 and Dubya’s brother, had some email problems of his own, using personal email to discuss troop deployments and security issues.

Could it be that the ‘liberal’ media is just a great big con job by the biggest, most well funded, propaganda artists since Joseph Goebbels’ propaganda machine in Nazi Germany? Nah, come on! Just like their stupendously stupid letter to Iran, the Republicans are just joshing with us. Pretty funny, eh?

President Obama takes time to thank the 'liberal' media for their generous coverage of his important immigration executive order back in November 2014.

President Obama takes time to thank the ‘liberal’ media for their generous coverage of his important immigration executive order back in November 2014.

A Fine Red Whine With Your Immigration Reform

President Obama sure got the crybaby Republicans in a hissy fit with his executive order on immigration reform before the Thanksgiving holidays. You’d think he declared himself King of the World, but that’s exactly how many Republicans saw his action. They’ve been crying like the little crybabies they are ever since. Of course, they’ve been doing that ever since Obama became President. It’s really quite baffling considering that all Presidents going back to Eisenhower, have issued executive orders on immigration. Yes, even St. Ronald Reagan gave an executive order on immigration. But today’s GOP members conveniently forget those facts. They’d rather build their case that Obama’s a tyrant and needs to be impeached, despite Obama having the fewest number of executive orders of any two term President in the last one hundred years. It’s funny how one minute, Republicans say that Obama’s a pussy and needs to take off his mommy pants when dealing with Syria, Iran or Russia and then the next minute he’s a blood thirsty monarch forcing his will on the American people or  just giving away the country to any foreign nation. Yes, the Republican Fear and Noise Machine, powered by Fox News, is working just fine; spreading fear and misinformation to all Americans…a fine, red whine just in time for the holidays!

GOP crybaby Senators and Congressman call Obama an Emperor and threaten impeachment because he's doing his job.while Republicans sit around and say no.

GOP congressman are crying and whining over President Obama’s recent executive order on immigration, which was necessary because Republican led House completely failed to their job and pass legislation on an immigration reform this year.

Treat ‘Em Like Polly

As usual, the Republican Fear and Noise Machine is in overdrive since Obama has boldly come out fighting after the election. Obama has pushed for keeping net neutrality, voting against the Keystone pipeline (it didn’t pass the Senate this past week), and the big news in the past week, an executive order for comprehensive immigration reform. The GOP is fit to be tied. Of course it doesn’t matter that a GOP investigative committee found no wrongdoing by the Obama administration in Benghazi. Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced boner), had announced that they’ll pursue another investigation with a committee that he will select. How is a sane person to deal with these Republican shenanigans? We think the pet care world has an appropriate answer for dealing with the fearmongering, conservative Republican in your life. Just use the following tactic at Thanksgiving dinner if your Republican gets going on a rant.

If the fearmongering conservative Republican in your life keeps acting up, just throw a sheet over him, like you do Polly.

The pet care world provides an answer for dealing with the fearmongering, conservative Republican in your life.