Moscow Mitch – BilgeBucket Gazette

The Tan Suit Controversy

Remember when Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network had an absolute conniption fit about then President Barack Obama wearing a tan suit during the summer time. This and Obama’s using spicy mustard on his food were horrendous, earth shattering scandals to the right-wing conservative jackals.

Fast forward to 2020 and look who’s trying to wear a tan suit; none other than Moscow Mitch “Turtle Boy” McConnell. As far as who wore it better, it’s not even close. Obama looks like a super suave, debonair CHAMP while McConnell looks like a salesman at a discount mattress warehouse trying to sell you a slightly used model . . . or in other words . . . a CHUMP.

Former President Barack Obama wore his tan suit like a Champ, while Moscow Mitch "Turtle Boy" McConnell wore his tan suit like a Chump, looking more like a salesman at a discount mattress warehouse trying to sell you a slightly used model. — Former President Barack Obama wore his tan suit like a Champ, while Moscow Mitch “Turtle Boy” McConnell wore his tan suit like a Chump, looking more like a salesman at a discount mattress warehouse trying to sell you a slightly used model.

GOP Putin On The Ritz

We’ve been appalled by antics of the Trump administration for the last three and a half years and guess what folks. . . the hits keep a comin’. Recently it was learned that Russia had placed bounties on the heads of American soldiers in Afghanistan. This shouldn’t be that surprising considering the United States did pretty much the same thing against the Soviet soldiers with the mujahideen freedom fighters (which included Osama Bin Laden) back during the Soviet Union’s military adventure in Afghanistan back in the 1980s. The U.S. has pretty much overstayed our welcome in the place where empires go to die so the bounties by the Taliban should not be a shock.

But what is disconcerting is that Trump has struggled to speak out against Putin on the matter and won’t even begin to talk about possible sanctions. We all know about Trump’s man crush on the Russian President but by not addressing this obviously disturbing piece of news, he’s adding fuel to the fire that he’s somehow being controlled by Russia’s leader. The Mueller report concluded that Russia interfered in the 2016 election and is already at it in the 2020 election. Not only that, Russia is hacking COVID-19 vaccine data. And yet Trump and the Republican party stays silent on the matter. Moscow Mitch ‘Turtle Boy’ McConnell and the GOP Senate has even blocked any kind of bill for election security. Due to the malfeasance of the Trump administration in handling the coronavirus pandemic, the news of the bounties has already been relegated to the back burner. Even veterans have voiced their concerns, but in typical Trumpian fashion, our CEO/Dictator and petulant man child does nothing.

That’s because the Republican party has clearly become the party for white nationalists and lovers of authoritarianism and fascism, . . . you know . . . Putin-style ‘democracy’. We remember a photo back when Obama was President and he was giving Putin the evil eye, like he was saying, “Cut the bullshit, Vlad!” Pretty badass, right? Of course, the Republicans were rooting for the white guy in the photo because:

They’re the ones who are un-American
They’re racist as hell
They’re THE PROBLEM

Solve the problem on November 3rd and vote out every Republican sycophant from federal level all the way down to state level. When you let a foreign power like Russia have influence over our country, that’s unacceptable, untenable and un-American.

Moscow Mitch; Or Moscow’s Bitch

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, has been in the headlines a lot lately. Apparently poor little Mitchy doesn’t like his new nickname, ‘Moscow Mitch’, given to him for his refusal to pass election security bills that would ensure Russia doesn’t interfere with the 2020 elections like they did in 2016. Why would anyone, especially a United States Senator, want a hostile foreign nation to interfere with our democratic elections?

Well, Turtle Boy knows that without Russian help, Republicans have no hope of winning. Ever since 1988, Republicans have only won the popular vote in the presidential elections once – that’s right folks – one time(2004). The only reason they’re even competitive in the House of Representatives is because districts are so gerrymandered by GOP controlled states that Republicans have a distinct advantage over Democratic candidates. Even Robert Mueller warned of Russian interference in his recent testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. The Russians hacked elections in all fifty states in 2016. Furthermore, Moscow Mitch knew about it and still did nothing to stop it in 2016 and he will continue to nothing about it because Moscow Mitch places the Republican party above country.

Moscow Mitch also has dubious ties to Russia in that Kentucky has gotten some pretty sweet deals from Russian oligarchs. Yes, Moscow Mitch has sold out his country for fun and profit and yet he has the audacity to accuse Democrats and media outlets of ‘modern day McCarthyism’. How is this dipshit still getting elected despite an approval rating in the thirties in his home state of Kentucky? Maybe its because voting machine companies donate heavily to his coffers. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; Corporate America has fixed it so Moscow Mitch gets elected time and time again because . . . you know. . . corporations are people, too. Thanks Supreme Court!

So, poor wittle Turtle Boy better get used to being called Moscow Mitch because he will be called Moscow Mitch up until he loses his seat next November. But fear not; after he loses, at least Moscow Mitch can move to Russia to stay with Vladimir Putin and his Russian oligarch pals.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname 'Moscow Mitch' while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker. — Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, a.k.a ‘Turtle Boy’, whines about his new nickname ‘Moscow Mitch’ while his boss Russian President Vladimir Putin suggests a more appropriate moniker.