Tag Archive for liberal

Dark Brandon Delivers

March 13, 2024 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2024, Corporate States of America, GOP Mission: Sedition, Grand Old Plutocrats, Let Them Eat Cake, Meme-ries, Neocon Media Circus, RepubliQAnons, Teabagging **it

Last week President Joe Biden delivered the State of the Union address in dramatic fashion. The entirety of the corporate media establishment in lock step with the Republican party had been painting Biden as a dim-witted, feeble old man incapable of anything but drooling. Instead, Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered one of the best SOTU speeches in recent memory and dispelled any notion that he was too old for the job.

It’s not surprising that Biden nailed it. He’s still a strong, capable leader with fifty years of vital, important, EXPERIENCE in all phases of government. This week, special counsel Robert Hur’s damning statement in his investigation of Biden’s secret documentation case about the President having a poor memory was found to the be contradicted by his own testimony saying Biden had “photographic understanding and recall of the house”, a tidbit the Republican left out of his final statement. It just shows that Republicans are coordinated in their efforts to bring any kind of damage they can to Biden, despite the fact that he has done a great job in his first term as President. We’ll take Biden’s 81 years of EXPERIENCE to TFG’s 91 felony counts any day!

Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.
Dispelling notions of being too old, President Joe Biden slipped into Dark Brandon mode and delivered a forceful State of the Union address much to the chagrin of his many detractors in the GOP and corporate media.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Forecast 2024: Goodbye Women’s Rights?

January 15, 2024 bb_admin From The Editor, Wide World O' Wacky

We’re not going to lie to you, folks. We’ve been thinking of hanging up the old bilge bucket over the last couple years. We don’t like what’s happening with TFG, the GOP or the corporate media. If this were a functioning socity of law and order, he should already be in jail serving a sentence for any of his 91 criminal counts, especially provoking the Jan. 6th insurrection. It’s obvious and if the Republicans were in any way honest, they’d admit their mistake, cut him loose and choose a new standard bearer for their party. But they’re not honest in the slightest despite claiming to be conservative christians. We honestly don’t think if Jesus somehow came back to Earth, he’d be hanging out with Trumpty Dumpty.

We think Biden is doing a great job – a lot better than we thought he would quite frankly. He’s been laser focused on restoring our relationships with our allies, helping spread democracy in Ukraine and improving the economy. His legislative victories (Infrastructure Act, Inflation Reduction Act, Chips Act, Pact Act, etc . . .) are reminiscent of LBJ’s first term. So we absolutely don’t trust polls that say Trump is leading Biden. Moreover, the media is doing an atrocious job of highlighting Biden’s accomplishments. Remember, Trump said the stock market would crash under Biden, but instead, it’s been approaching all-time highs. Not only that, he has hardly spent any time on the golf course unlike a certain orange tub o’ goo.

We’ve decided to go one more election cycle (or Con-a-thons as we like to call them) and then call it quits. We’ll be mostly posting old photo-toons relating to TFG since he’s the same a-hole that he’s been since forever. Plus, we’ll add some new ones on him and the new confederacy of dunces masquerading as GOP congressmen and senators. Plus, to keep our own sanity, we’ll post non-political schtuff to try and get back to our original quest of being a poor man’s Onion. Will it work? Who knows! But let’s see what happens anyway.

Republicans have already taken away reproductive rights from females and are aiming to regress the role of women in America to 19th century status of being just a non-voting baby factory.
Republicans have already taken away reproductive rights from females and are aiming to regress the role of women in America to 19th century status of being just a non-voting baby factory.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: SEGUMUCA Nation Redux

August 28, 2023 bb_admin America's CEO/Dictator, Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, GOP Mission: Sedition, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Let Them Eat Cake, Meme-ries, Neocon Media Circus, RepubliQAnons, Teabagging **it

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The big news this past week is all the nineteen defendants in Georgia’s RICO case have turned themselves in and had their thugshots taken including the head thug TFG, who predictably is trying to profit off of it by offering merchandise to grift his followers. It’s been a horrible eight years since TFG first came down the escalators to announce his candidacy and the American people’s sanity has gone down the drain because of him. The petulant, megalomaniacal man-child has dominated the corporate media because the corporate media loves him. Even liberal sites cover him because he boosts their ratings. If there’s one thing that has become self-evident during the Trump era is that greed, avarice, materialism, ratings, followers and likes are the most important things in the world now, which is probably why democracy is on the brink of destruction.

We’re reposting a photo-toon from our May 17, 2016 post where we lamented our predicament with candidate Trump and unfortunately things have worsened since then. Our analysis then still rings true today. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way.  Add to the fact that conservative evangelicals now view Trump as a better role model than Jesus and we’ve got a hell of a problem on our hands. So what do we do? We’ll just repeat our final paragraph from that post for simplicity’s sake.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.
Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rewind: Fascist Checklist

September 12, 2022 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, GOP Mission: Sedition, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Let Them Eat Cake, Meme-ries, Neocon Media Circus, RepubliQAnons, Teabagging **it

We’re taking another brief detour from our review of insane, Arizona GOP, Trumphumper candidates to talk about President Biden’s recent speech on the MAGA Republicans embracing ‘semi-fascism’. We thought it was mostly correct but ‘semi-fascism’? Really? Because the Republicans have been embracing full on fascism for some time now. And now they’ve been openly proving it every day since TFG took office in 2017 and then incited an insurrection on Jan. 6th 2021 because they didn’t win. In their typical whiny, cry-baby manner, Republicans wailed that Biden was being divisive while forgetting about how Trump vilified anyone who disagreed with him during his excruciating tenure as CEO/Dictator.

We also thought it was interesting that no major networks like ABC, NBC or CBS covered Biden’s important speech. This reminds us of other occasions like when Obama gave a speech about his executive order on immigration in December 2014 and nobody bothered to cover it. If the media were truly liberal like the conservative Republicans always claim, then all those networks would have covered Biden’s speech. Liberal Media My Ass!!! It’s just more hypocrisy and deception from the well funded propaganda machine operated by corporate conservative Republicans.

As a courtesy we’re reposting a photo-toon from December 15, 2015 post which depicts a checklist comparing the fascists of the NSDAP(Nazis) party of 1930’s Germany and the 21st century Republican party (or more appropriately, crime syndicate!). As you can see, there’s not much difference and hey, looky there . . . both had a well funded propaganda machine. So if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . . We repeat folks; the Republicans are full on fascists and every TFG enabler running for office needs to be voted out of office or we will lose our democracy just like Germany lost theirs in the 1930s!

The Republican Party has some eerie similarities to a certain right wing conservative fascist party from 20th century Germany.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sinema: Sassy Fool & Republican Tool

January 22, 2022 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus, RepubliQAnons, Wide World O' Wacky

Once again, an Arizona politician is embarrassing the state on a national level and this time it’s not a Republican. In a valiant bipartisan effort to be just as bad as Arizona’s GOP, Democrat Krysten Sinema has pretty much ended the Voting Rights Bill which Joe Biden and the Democrats have been pushing that will preserve the right to vote for all Americans, not just rich white ones. But Ms. Sinema and West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin have decided that defending the filibuster is more important than protecting democracy, much to the delight of the Republicans, most of whom still think the 2020 election was stolen by Joe Biden.

So, what’s the fricking deal with Ms. Sinema? We were psyched when she got elected in 2018. She had built herself up as a liberal and her credentials were solid. She had protested the Iraq War and had solidly supported Democratic causes. She’s even a member of the LGBTQ community. Basically, she checks all the boxes you want for a Democrat. To be fair, she has voted in favor of most of the bills Biden and the rest of the Democrats have pushed through. But she also supported several pieces of legislation during the TFG’s administration that the pro-Trump Republicans favored. So, again, what’s the deal?

Ms. Sinema seems to be under the delusion that she is some sort of master of bipartisanship. Somehow, only she has the grrrl power ability to reach across the aisle and sing Kumbaya with the likes of Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz. And predictably, the Republicans like Turtle Boy love her, but only because she is being such a tool. Did Ms. Sinema not see the Capitol riots? The Republicans attempted a coup to overthrow a legitimate election! The 21st century GOP cannot and should not be trusted on anything! The voting rights bill needs to pass urgently – NOW – or the Republicans will absolutely put an end to democracy if they ever get power back. This is obvious! They had no problem obstructing Obama’s Supreme Court nomination in 2016, claiming it was an election year, and then hypocritically pushing their right wing nomination through in 2020, which was an election year.

But Ms. Sinema has some kind of strange attraction to the filibuster which she sees as a means of bipartisanship but in actuality is a ugly method of obstructionism. During the Civil Rights Era, Martin Luther King said this about the filibuster: “I think the tragedy is that we have a Congress with a Senate that has a minority of misguided senators who will use the filibuster to keep the majority of people from even voting.” The filibuster has an awful history, especially in the last forty years, which is right about the time that gridlock seized Congress. Yes, if you want to blame the lack of progress on any meaningful legislation for the last forty years, you can blame the embrace of the filibuster or filibluster or Phil E. Buster or whatever you want to call this piece of rancid piece of obstructionism, by both parties (or corporate ass-kissing syndicates as we call them here at the Bucket). A common excuse by Democrats for not voting in elections is “what’s the point”. They claim that there’s no difference between the two parties and that both worship at the altar of capitalism, which is true. But the Democrats have pushed forth legislation in the past like Social Security Act, the Civil Rights Act and Medicare which has truly helped millions of Americans. Biden’s Build Back Better program and the Voting Rights Act are important pieces of legislation that will help millions. The American people overwhelmingly support these bills, especially the ones for infrastructure. But for some strange reason, Ms. Sinema wants to preserve the vile, obstructionist wrench that is the filibuster. If we get rid of it and pass the bills, Sinema opines that when the next election comes around and Republicans take back the House and Senate, then they will pass all their right wing legislation and do whatever they want – just like they did to put Amy Coney Barrett and Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court with a simple majority vote – with no consequences. But if the Democrats actually PASS THE BILLS AND DO SOMETHING, then maybe they won’t lose the elections. Maybe the electorate will realize the Democrats mean business and won’t roll over and play dead every time the GOP clear their throats like they’ve done for the past twenty years.

Yes folks, Ms. Sinema seems to have pulled the bait-and-switch with all us Arizonans who voted for her thinking she would pursue progressive values. But it appears she’s given in to pressure from corporate interests. Since we’re her constituents, we regularly receive email correspondence from her office proudly touting her work for Veteran’s Rights, which is good. But it’s also not controversial at all. We know of no one who is against giving Veterans aid or assistance. This is like saying that you support breathing. But yet on the vital issues like preserving the right to vote for every American, Ms. Sinema seems to be clueless or bought out by corporate interests or bought out by the GOP or all three. At least the Arizona Democratic Party has announced they are very upset with her support of the filibuster and are looking to other candidates like Ruben Gallego in 2024 when Sinema’s term expires. Her poll numbers are in the toilet and good luck getting the Republicans support if she switches parties. Sinema is just a sassy fool and useful tool right now for the GOP’s fascist agenda. One thing’s for sure: Ms. Cutesy Pie Bait-and-Switcher won’t be a Senator too much longer. Arizonans are already sick of her schtick . Citizens from across the nation are sick of her schtick . But at least she’ll have a job at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, when she’s handed her walking papers in 2024. Then she can sip her sangria, buy more sassy grrrl clothes, count all her money and swoon at the thought of Phil E. Buster.

Update 1/22/22: The Arizona Democratic Party has censured Ms. Sinema. Will it do any good? Probably not, but it means that it is very likely she will have primary opponents in 2024.

For some strange reason, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema seems to be enamored with the ugliest of Senate procedures, the filibuster (or Phil E. Buster) which prevents progress of any kind for the Democrat's Build Back Better and Voting Rights Act legislation. But at least this cheeky grrrl has sangria, sassy clothes, lots of money from corporate donors and new friends in the GOP.
For some strange reason, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema seems to be enamored with the ugliest of Senate procedures, the filibuster (or Phil E. Buster) which prevents progress of any kind for the Democrat’s Build Back Better and Voting Rights Act legislation. But at least this cheeky grrrl has sangria, sassy clothes, lots of money from corporate donors and new friends in the GOP.
No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Liberal Media My Ass – Part ∞

September 24, 2016 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2016, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Let Them Eat Cake, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

We’ve commented numerous times before here about the myth of the liberal media. But there’s nothing like stats and graphs that prove that the news media is actually very conservative. The web site Media Matters does an excellent job of keeping track of the lies and deceptions of the right wing media, especially Fox News, a.k.a. The Republican Propaganda Network. We usually don’t post graphics from other sites, but this one speaks volumes. It shows that on September 12, 2016, the major media outlets spent almost 13 total hours covering the non issue of Hillary Clinton’s health and only 51 minutes covering the real scandal of Donald Trump misusing funds in his so called Foundation. And of course, Fox News said nothing of Trump’s malfeasance.  This probably explains why Trump has gained on Hillary despite his vile, ignorant, inane commentary. It’s kind of like on the Simpsons, when smart, responsible Lisa gets bawled out for getting a 98% on a test instead of 100% and stupid, irresponsible Bart gets a trip to Itchy and Scratchy Land for getting a D on his math test. Yeah, we’re using a Simpsons analogy but so what. Donald Trump is the frigging GOP nominee for President! Con-a-thon 2016 cannot end soon enough!

Graph shows major new media outlets MSNBC, CNN and Fox News spent an inordinate amount of time on Hillary Clinton's health and hardly any time on Donald Trump's misuse of funds in the Trump Foundation.

This graph from Media Matters shows conclusively the ‘fair and balanced’ news coverage of the major news networks.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Liberal Media My Ass!

March 16, 2015 bb_admin Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus

Back in December we posted about how obnoxious the Republicans were being about President Obama’s immigration executive order. We also posted about their claims of Obama being an imperial president despite having the fewest number of executive orders of any two term president going back one hundred years. One thing we failed to mention is that none of the four major news networks decided to cover the President’s executive order. Let me repeat that; NONE. ZILCH. NADA. NULL. Hmm… we think that’s a fairly odd way for the ‘liberal media’ to behave. We would think a ‘liberal’ media would televise every moment of a supposedly ‘liberal’ president’s important executive order concerning immigration reform; touting it as the greatest event ever. But, not one of the four major news networks, ABC, NBC, CBS or FOX(big surprise), covered the event.

Now the Republican Noise and Fear Machine has its sights set on probable 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. They’ve already been whining about the Benghazi non-scandal. Now they’re crying about Hillary Clinton using a personal server for government email correspondence as Secretary of State. We’re not trying to sugarcoat Clinton’s handling of her email; she blundered.  But it’s no worse than when good ol’ Dubya lost millions of emails in 2007, which the supposedly ‘liberal’ media conveniently glossed over. Or the fact Colin Powell and Karl Rove have used personal email for their own purposes. Or that former Florida governor Jeb Bush, the leading Republican candidate for President in 2016 and Dubya’s brother, had some email problems of his own, using personal email to discuss troop deployments and security issues.

Could it be that the ‘liberal’ media is just a great big con job by the biggest, most well funded, propaganda artists since Joseph Goebbels’ propaganda machine in Nazi Germany? Nah, come on! Just like their stupendously stupid letter to Iran, the Republicans are just joshing with us. Pretty funny, eh?

President Obama takes time to thank the 'liberal' media for their generous coverage of his important immigration executive order back in November 2014.

President Obama takes time to thank the ‘liberal’ media for their generous coverage of his important immigration executive order back in November 2014.

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Gospel According To Sarah

November 21, 2013 bb_admin Capitalist Jesus, Compassionate CONservatives, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, Holy Huckster Hijinx, Neocon Media Circus, Teabagging **it

Hey everyone…Sarah Palin’s back in the news. Yay!!!

We don’t waste much time on the Tea Party Princess anymore because…well…she’s a waste of time. But Ms. Ubetcha was out recently promoting her book on the ‘War on Christmas’ when she made comments about how Pope Francis was sounding kind of liberal lately. Really? Imagine that. Bill Maher’s reply to her ‘insightful’ comment hit the nail on the head.  Maybe she would like our ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ t-shirt as a gift for Xmas.

Capitalist Jesus, who is also very Republican, offers his support for Sarah Palin, advice on dealing with people of different religious persuasions, and suggestions for a great stocking stuffer this holiday season.

 


No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Looking Out For the Kids

December 2, 2011 bb_admin Book O' The Month, Compassionate CONservatives, Neocon Media Circus

If you’re looking for an educational Holiday gift for the wee ones, look no further than a book written by America’s own self proclaimed culture warrior, Bill O’Reilly. Yes Fox New’s biggest blowhard, who’s only goal in life is to look out for you, has written many a book in his day, but this one speaks to the kids and sets them on the right path; the far right path. Look for it at your nearest book store in the bargain bin.

Neocon talk show host, Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, recently wrote a book to brainwash, er...make that, inform today's youth and help them navigate the mine fields of the evil 'liberal media'.

No comments , , , , , , , ,

Jindal, Jangle, Jingle

October 28, 2011 bb_admin Articles:Political BS, Compassionate CONservatives, Con-a-thon 2012, Corporate States of America, Grand Old Plutocrats, In Guns We Trust, Neocon Media Circus

More Political BS…

Remember Republican Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal? Well he just won re-election by a landslide. Which has us here at the Bucket wondering if he’ll be the next Republican candidate to join in the fun that is Con-a-thon 2012. He was very highly touted by the GOP in 2009 until he gave his rebuttal to President Obama’s state of the union address. Could he be the next flavor of the month for the Republicans?  Here’s an article and photo-toon from our April 8, 2009 issue to refresh our memories.

Jindal Sez It’s Okay To Want Democrat Presidents To Fail

Republican Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who was widely panned by both parties for his less than stellar rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, defended Rush Limbaugh and others who have openly wished President Obama to fail with his agenda at a recent press conference.

“Boys and girls of the United States of America,” said Jindal in a mild sing-song voice, wearing a casual red sweater, tie, slacks and sneakers. “We truly are living in exciting times aren’t we? We’ve got the very first African American President; we’ve got another thrilling season of American Idol; and our economy is on the verge of completely saying bye-bye. But you know what isn’t exciting? It’s when people say other people shouldn’t say things. And that’s what’s happening today boys and girls. Poor Republican party members like Boss Rush Limhogg are yelled at for saying innocent things like ‘I want President Obama to fail’. Poor Boss Limhogg. Poor Republicans. Why are we conservatives always the victim of mean attacks by the liberal media? That’s right boys and girls; like that sweet angel Ann Coulter says, the liberal media is bad and they’re out to get us.”

“Now I know what some of you liberals are thinking. You’re saying well didn’t Republicans say during the Bush presidency that we should always support the President no matter what? Didn’t the Republicans say things like ‘you’re either for us or against us’ or ‘people need to watch what they say’? Didn’t the Republicans say Democrats supported the terrorists? Well, yes but that was different. We had a great, brave, Republican President back then named George W. Bush. Yaaaaay! Now we have an evil, liberal, Democrat as President. Remember how bad President Clinton was? Booooooo! That means it’s perfectly okay for all good American boys and girls to say to the President, ‘You’re a liberal and you obviously hate America. Just look how much you made Glenn Beck cry. You’re a bad, bad man, so I hope you fail.’ It’s just that simple.”

“All us poor, persecuted Republicans are saying is that the only way to heal our nation’s boo-boos is with tax cuts. Yes boys and girls, tax cuts to the wealthiest of Americans are like medicine that will make all our owies better real soon. You see, rich people know best about spending and investing money, so they should have more of it. You shouldn’t have to worry your pretty little heads about something hard like investing. The smart, rich people will do that and the money will trickle down to you…in about 70 to 100 years. Giving money to dumb things like volcano monitoring and alternative transportation will only make us sad. And we want to be happy don’t we boys and girls? Besides who do you trust more: the big, bad, evil tax and spend liberal Democrat government…booooooo; or the nice, rich, corporate CEOs who only want a happy stock market…yaaaaaay! I think you all know the answer to that.”

Prominent Republicans voiced support for Jindal. Fox News personality Glenn Beck said, “This Jindal guy truly understands what it means to be a conservative Republican. I think St. Ronald Reagan would be proud. Oh God. Here I go again. I’m getting misty.” He then paused and wiped a small, small tear from his eye. “God Bless America. God Bless America.” Fellow Fox News personalities Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly rushed over and gave Beck a consoling hug. Then O’Reilly barked to the cameras, “Are you happy now, liberals?!”

Republican Party Boss, Rush Limhogg said, “I like this Jindal kid. He’s a good, useful little lackey. He knows his place. Hey! Steele! Get back here! You missed a spot on my boots. And take off your hat! I need an ashtray.”

Most conservative Republicans from all over the country responded favorably to Jindal’s statement. Todd Murphy of Rancid Holler, Georgia said, “Oh man I feel so…ummm…what’s the word I’m lookin’ fer…good. I mean I think that the Democrats are so …ummm…bad. But what Jindal done said, I think Republicans will do real….ummm…good.”

Pete Junkins of Curtisvilleton, Missouri said, “I like Jindal and all but I’m still gonna vote for Sarah Palin in 2012. I hear she hunts wolves in a bikini. Man that’s so hot!”

Jean Grayhill of Felderkarb, Tennessee said, “He talks to me like I’m an eight year old and you know what…I like it. The easier my leaders make it for me to understand, the better. I really don’t like thinking all that much. Oh look; a shiny nickel. I’m going to stare at it for a while.”

Reverend Fred Devlin of Dillweed, Virginia said, “I think with a Jindal-Palin ticket in 2012, we will most definitely see the Rapture. Come and get us Lord!”

Jeb Dean Bob Jones of Burnt Cesspool, Texas said, “All I know is I just got done watching Glenn Beck and I can’t stand to see a grown man fake cry like a little lady. I’m ready to join the revolution. President Chuck Norris of Texas forever! Where’s my AK-47? Yeeeeeee-haaaaaawwwww!”

Jindal closed his conference by saying, “Now everybody get to bed now and dream little dreams of fast cars, guns and Jesus. Sleep tight and don’t let the liberals bite.”

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal addresses the good little boys and girls of the United States on the Republican cure for all of our nation’s owies. Yay!

No comments , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,