Paul Ryan: Man Of Integrity

The so called GOP stalwarts, who have so brazenly yelled what a monster Donald Trump is, are falling one by one to the bullying charms of this authoritarian megalomaniac. Bold men like Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio are now sycophantic bootlickers of the orange haired menace. The latest to cave in meekly to the Donald: Republican Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan.

We’ve never really taken to Mr. Ryan. During Con-a-thon 2012, when he was Spiff Romney’s vice-presidential candidate, we noted the several times he just flat out lied or was a complete hypocrite. (Here, here and here.)

Nothing’s changed really. For months, he claimed he wasn’t interested in taking over Speaker of the House for John Boehner and then suddenly …BOOM… he’s Speaker of the House. So I guess this latest development shouldn’t come as any surprise. Paul Ryan has been boldly stating (or conning) these past several months that he just can’t support Donald Trump. But after a ‘very important’ meeting this past week, Ryan now endorses Trump. What a man of integrity! Why shucky darn…with guys like Trump and Ryan leading the way, changing their points of view every time the wind blows, America’s sure to be great again in no time.

Jug eared Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, shows what a man of integrity he is by supporting someone he can't stand like Donald Trump much to the delight of one of his plutocratic overlords.
Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, shows what a man of integrity he is by supporting someone he can’t stand like Donald Trump much to the delight of one of his plutocratic overlords.

The Benghazi Witch Hunt

In the aftermath of the first Democratic debates, more Republican stupidity…

California GOP congressman Kevin McCarthy made headlines recently in a couple ways. First, he was next in line to replace John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) as Speaker of the House. But upon seeing that he would somehow have to spend every waking moment trying to wrangle the Tea Party wingnuts, he decided to remove his name from consideration, thus throwing the House of Representatives into even more chaos.

The second way, which was the cause of the aforementioned event, was that McCarthy showed his incompetence by opening admitting that the Benghazi hearings were nothing more than a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton at the expense of the taxpayers money. So, seeing that he pretty much blew the Republican’s cover, he bowed out.

A Benghazi whistleblower came forward last week pretty much saying the same thing as McCarthy, which brought forth the lead investigator of the Benghazi witch hunt, South Carolina GOP Congressman Trey Gowdy from his underground lair to denounce the whistleblower and McCarthy. Which in turn brought a surprise response from CNN denouncing Gowdy.

What this all means is what most sane Americans have suspected all along. The Benghazi investigation is nothing but a political character assassination campaign by the GOP against Hillary Clinton in order to prevent her from being elected President. Now the teabagger Republicans in the House are going to start another witch hunt at the taxpayers expense investigating Hillary’s private e-mail server she kept as Secretary of State. If they want true justice, then they should also investigate former Secretary of State Colin Powell, who also relied on personal e-mails. While they’re at it, investigate all those e-mails that got erased from Dubya’s White House account back in 2007. Oh that’s right! We keep forgetting. It’s okay when Republicans do it.

Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton for Benghazi and her e-mail server.
Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton.

Boehner’s Holy Revelation

There was some huge news this past week and we here at the Bucket are suffering from a massive case of Schadenfreude. Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has announced that he is resigning effective the end of the month. Of course, Boehner milked the moment for every thing it was worth in true christian martyr fashion, proclaiming by stepping down he is saving congress. However, we believe that Papa Francisco’s visit had a lot to do with the Orange Man’s departure. Boehner, a life long Catholic, was very moved by the pope’s visit. We think that while listening to his speech and looking out at the ‘christian’ Republicans sitting in the Senate and House, Boehner had a gobsmack revelation when he realized what astounding, hypocritical assholes he and his colleagues were in comparison with the pope.

Boehner provided a lot of laughs for us here at the Bucket over the years but we’re sure that his nut job replacement as Speaker will soon be providing comedic gold for satirists everywhere. We say good riddance to the Chief Oompa Loompa with one more photo-toon for the road.

Pope Francis' visit to Congress opened Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner's eyes and helped him realize what a colossal asshole he has been.
Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner, bids farewell to Congress after realizing what a colossal asshole he has been.

 

The Real Boss In America

The Trans-Pacific Partnership is a huge, free trade agreement with the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Japan and eight other Asian-Pacific countries. It’s just about a done deal thanks to the Republican Congress who wants to shove this through as fast as possible and a pliant President Obama, (sometimes known as the Compromiser-in-Chief), who is proving that he is as big a corporatist as Bill Clinton, Reagan and the Bushes. While proponents tout that this pact will lead to economic growth, development and job creation (NAFTA anyone?), opponents are sounding the alarm that the agreements contents are being kept secret because it’s really a gigantic gift to give multinational corporations to do whatever the hell they want including off-shoring more American jobs, exposing the U.S. to unsafe food products and empowering corporations to smash our environmental and health safeguards.

If any American had any doubt that representative democracy is dead in the U.S., take a look at the secrecy involved between the corporate world and congress to get this thing passed on the fast track. There is nothing democratic about the passing of this new deal and it pretty much confirms that America is a corporate oligarchy. Corporate States of America or Holy Corporate Empire; either one sufficiently describes America today. We also think there may be another reason why Obama wants to the same thing as Boehner, Cruz and other CONgressional Republicans, which is illustrated in the following photo-toon.

Obama proclaims he supports the TPP because he's a corporatist, doesn't want to be impeached and he wants to please his corporate masters.
America’s corporate, elite plutocrats applaud the fast tracking of the TPP by their political lackeys to prove to every one on planet Earth who really is the boss in America.

Bibi’s Boner …Or Boner’s Bibi

The big news of the last week is that Israel Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu gave a speech to Congress. It’s not rare that foreign dignitaries address Congress. But what is rare is when leaders of the opposition party, in this case the Republicans, arrange for it without the President’s knowledge. Yes, Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), secretly arranged for Netanyahu to come speak to Congress to push for opposition of President Obama’s upcoming nuclear agreement with Iran. In some circles, the covert negotiation of a foreign leader or government by an unauthorized citizen is known as treason. As Jon Stewart pointed out in his always hilarious analysis, if the Democrats had invited the President of France behind George W. Bush’s back in the lead up to the Iraq War, the Republicans would have been screaming bloody murder. Despite this treasonous act by Boehner and the other Republicans in Congress, President Obama calmly and effectively explained afterward why he thinks Netanyahu, who, like Republicans, has been beating the war drum consistently for a quarter of a century, is wrong. One can only describe this move by the Republicans as colossally dickish, but what else is new.

New United States President, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu suggests a war with Iran as successful as the Iraq War as treasonist John Boehner approves.
The Republican’s newly anointed President, Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu, proclaims his intentions for war with Iran with giddy approval from Treasonist of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner.

GOP Scaring Up Votes

The knob on the Republican Noise and Fear Machine has been cranked all the way up to 11 this summer and fall in their desperate attempt to scare Americans into voting for conservative Republican candidates this year and give the Republicans a majority in the Senate and the House. This is the standard GOP tactic and has been used successfully many times in the past to get the American sheeple for vote Republican. What can a rational, thinking person possibly do to combat these horrifying, terrifying, frightening, scare tactics, you may ask? We could start by remembering the words of FDR; “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”. There’s really only one solution to this conservative Republican fearmongering: just say NO… to Republicans!

Republican ghouls McConnell, Cruz, McCain, Krauthammer and Boehner are scaring up votes from the electorate this Halloween.
America’s favorite Republican ghouls have been out this Halloween season literally scaring up votes from the electorate.

GOP Insanity Plea

Just when you thought the Republicans couldn’t get any more irrational… Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), has decided to sue President Obama for doing his job. According to the increasingly mentally unbalanced Republicans who control the House of Representatives, they see President Obama’s perfectly by the book executive orders as overreach of his authority. This despite the fact that President Obama has far fewer executive orders than any of his predecessors. We like that President Obama has finally given up trying to be the Compromiser-in-Chief and that he has said that he is doing his job because Congress is not doing theirs. Booom! There it is!  But the House GOP may have taken the final step for placement into the loony bin when they demanded action from Obama on the influx of immigrants into the southwestern USA after suing him for taking too much action. Talk about wasting taxpayers money! So let’s get this straight: Obama is damned for taking action and he’s damned for not taking action. Yep! Get the straight jackets ready. Boehner and Co. are officially lip-diddling insane.

Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, explains that President Obama is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.
Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, dressed in his stylish new straightjacket, explains why people need to vote the Republicans out of Congress this November.

Holding The Nation Hostage

Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, reveals the GOP’s patriotic plan to save America from the horrors of Obamacare.

 

An Oompa Loompa Christmas

Well, Congress has adjourned for the holidays and surprise surprise, no progress on the looming ‘fiscal cliff’. Speaker of the House, John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner), who seems to be under the illusion that the Republicans won the election, has stubbornly insisted that he gets his way. That means keeping his precious tax cuts for his rich handlers and cutting funds for the social safety net programs like Social Security and Medicare, which benefits most elderly Americans. Of course, most people seem to think this ‘fiscal cliff’ is baloney anyway (note how it’s always referenced in quotations) and to President Obama’s credit, he’s playing hardball with the Republicans (finally!). It’s not the first time that the great Oompa Loompa of negativity, John Boehner, has bungled up negotiations. It’s business as usual for the Republicans.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, offers Americans his prescription for avoiding the ‘fiscal cliff’.

 

 

Rep. Oompa Loompa

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, following the debacle of the debt ceiling talks breakdown this past week, addressed the American people late last night with a message of hope …for corporate America.

Republican Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa John Boehner tells the American people the GOP’s economic plan for America.