We know the first of the Presidential Debates was last night, but so much crap is happening, we’re having a hard time keeping up. We’ll be commenting on the debate results soon.
In a not so surprising move to us here at the Bucket, Ted Cruz endorsed authoritarian megalomaniac, Donald Trump, for President, which pretty much proves all those nasty things Trump and Cruz said to each other was political theater and absolute bullshit. It also proves that Ted Cruz doesn’t really have much integrity. We hope he enjoys cleaning up Trump’s trail of bullshit with Suckinupagus Chris Christie. Better get those waders out boys…it’s gonna get deep!
Smuggest Senator alive and spineless suck-up, Ted Cruz, freely chooses a life of servile lackeydom to authoritarian megalomaniac and GOP nominee, Donald Trump.
Thanks to the disastrous Trump campaign, we’re given on a daily basis such a plethora of gaffes and blunders to choose from, the satire just writes itself. Take for instance, Mike Pence recently stating that name calling has no place in politics; this from the Vice Presidential candidate of a man who’s made his living for the last year calling his opponents childish nick names like Lyin’ Ted, Little Marco and Low Energy Jeb Bush. We think ol’ Puritan Pants is a bit irony impaired.
Irony impaired GOP President and Vice President candidates, Trumpy McSmallHands and Puritan Pants blather on about how name cailling has no place in politics.
Our favorite tidbit from this though is the supposed humiliation Christie received from Trump during a Tennessee rally, when a hot mic caught Donald Trump telling Christie to ‘Go Home‘. It’s mostly taken way out of context, but it’s still funny. But that’s what life will be like in America if Trump is elected President. Unless you give him your undivided, sycophantic support, he will trash you to no end. And then he’ll trash you for giving in to him; a no win situation…kinda like being in the mob.
GOP frontrunner Donald Trump shows his gracious appreciation to Jersey boss, Chris Christie, for his sycophantic endorsement.
The New Hampshire primaries were this past week and Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump were the big winners on the Democratic and Republican sides respectively. Of course, it also meant that the Republican clown car just got roomier in the continuing sham that is Con-a-thon 2016.
Carly ‘Ice Queen’ Fiorina, New Jersey boss Chris Christie and some guy named Jim Gilmore decided to suspend their presidential campaigns this week. It was expected that Fiorina would go soon since she wasn’t even invited to participate in the last Republican debate. Her numbers have dropped since her support of a fraudulent video against Planned Parenthood last year. Chris Christie didn’t receive an expected bounce from his thrashing of Marco Rubio in last week’s debate, so he went back to Jersey. And as far as Jim Gilmore goes, he never really had a chance. He wasn’t even in our original photo-toon of the the Republican clown car (see above link). He’s continually polled at 0% so he finally smelled the coffee and said goodbye.
So Donald Trump, fresh from his comments on breastfeeding women, is the front runner of the Republican party with a meager 15 months left before the elections? Wow! What are we going to do? We guess that everyone should buy a tarp to protect themselves from all the bullshit that’s being propelled by the media, who are actually giving credibility to this con job. But then again this is Con-a-thon 2016. What else should we expect?
The Republicans are masters of propaganda and the art of the con. They’ve learned their lessons from 2012 and 2008. That’s why they’ve got the clown car filled with sixteen candidates; just enough flavor-of-the-months to get through to November 2016. In case you haven’t figured it out, the GOP establishment, mainly the Koch Brothers, have decided that Jeb Bush and Scott Walker are the best candidates. So to protect these guys from actual scrutiny, they’ve got fourteen other candidates to sacrifice themselves for the Republican cause by saying outrageous statements that make the other guys in the clown car appear to be sane. Donald Trump is just the first. Do you honestly think ‘the Donald’ will be selected to be the standard bearer for the Republican party? It looks like Mike Huckabee could be the second with his statements about Obama putting the Jews in the oven with the Iran deal. We know from 2012 that Rick ‘the Dick’ Santorum is good for several months worth of spewing forth crap and Chris Christie is chock full of hot air. Just look at him for Pete’s sake! And then there’s Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul…it’s a cornucopia of blithering insanity. But in the end, the Republicans will put another Bush on the ticket and America will be stuck with another media anointed Bush-Clinton election. Freedom of choice in America? The Con is On!
Donald Trump's outrageous statements about immigrants, John McCain and breastfeeding women make the other candidates in the Republican clown car appear sane.
Guess what everyone? It’s time for another presidential election. Didn’t we just finish this crap? Well, with a scant 16 months left before the 2016 presidential election, it’s time for CON-A-THON 2016… and we’ve already got 16 Republican presidential candidates. That’s right! 16!!!! You’d think that all this choice would be a good thing. But we’re talking about the modern Republican party. We’re not sure who coined the term, but the most accurate description of this collection of colossal egos has to be the Republican Clown Car (They’re also available for birthday parties and bar mitzvahs). Early polls are indicating that Jeb “Don’t Call Me Bush” Bush and perennial blowhard and teabagger favorite Donald Trump, are leading the polls. But if you peruse our archives for Con-a-thon 2012, you’ll see that there was a new flavor-of-the-week back then, too. One week it was Newt Gingrich; the next it was Herman Cain; and the next it was Rick Santorum, who apparently hasn’t learned his lesson that he’s not appealing to a wide swath of Americans. Oh well…this circus and extraordinary waste of money is sure to be amusing for the next 16 months. Really???!!! Another 16 months of this shit???!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen: Introducing the Republican Clown Car for Con-a-thon 2016.
Hurricane Sandy socked the northeastern United States this week killing 30 people and causing between $20 to $60 billion dollars in damage. President Obama and FEMA were right there immediately to offer assistance to the stricken states, even earning praise from Republican governors Chris Christie of New Jersey and Bob McDonnell of Virginia. This is in sharp contrast to the anemic Bush administration response to the Gulf states in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. In a stunning display of stupidity, former FEMA head Michael “Heckuva Job” Brown said President Obama responded too quickly. What an ASS! And speaking of asses, GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, deflected 14 questions from the press about his earlier statements about abolishing FEMA if he were President. This of course would enable all those Republican disaster capitalists to swoop in and make a bundle every time a natural disaster hit. We think the Republicans should change their party logo from an elephant to a vulture.
GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, explains to a victim of Hurricane Sandy how the federal government should work in a christian nation.
