Category: Let Them Eat Cake

The Puritan Party

Well, the RNC has come and gone and it’s been every bit a clusterf*ck as predicted. Some highlights(or lowlights): Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech – Trump’s campaign denied then admitted the fraud; the so called anti-Trump movement never really gets going; Pence bores everyone to sleep; a tepid endorsement from Paul Ryan; and the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, still licking his wounds from his defeat in the Republican primaries, refuses to endorse Donald Trump. When your top celebrity endorser is Scott Baio from Joanie Loves Chachi, you know it’s bad. To top it off, Trump delivered a lie filled acceptance speech in an effort to make his supporters shit their pants in fear.  Wow! What a sucky, sucky, suck ass Party!

But one thing that is incredibly disturbing is the platform adopted by the Republicans. It looks like it was written by extremist, far right wing, evangelical christians. You might as well call the Republican Party the Puritan Party now. Among the more dismaying platform points: appoint anti-choice Supreme Court justices; legalize anti-LGBT discrimination; pass an anti-choice constitutional amendment; end funding for Planned Parenthood; repeal environmental protection laws; ignore climate change; expand fracking and burying nuclear waste; privatize Medicare; cut food stamps; require bible study in public schools and (the worst one in our opinion) make christianity the national religion. Apparently, the Republicans want to go back to the ’50s…the 1650s! The Republican party platform also bears a strong resemblance to our fascist checklist we posted several months ago. If there was any doubt before there is no doubt now; with this party platform the Republican party has gone into hard core fascist mode.

Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone's Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.
Donald Trump introduces Indiana governor and everyone’s Puritan pal, Mike Pence, as his ramrod straight, pole up the ass, Vice President candidate.

Pander Express

It’s the first week in July and the good news for most of America is that there is only four months left in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. Polls show that Hillary has opened up substantial leads in the battleground states, which has given most sane Americans a reason to breathe a sigh of relief.  But there is a reason for pessimism. Let’s face it folks; Hillary is far from perfect and has lots of baggage. We’ve felt that she’s moved to the right and is for all intents and purposes a moderate Republican and Noam Chomsky seems to agree. Her coziness to Wall Street is why so many left leaning Democrats and Independents (like us) ‘felt the Bern’ this past year.

Hillary and Bill Clinton also have a history of pulling stupid gaffes at inopportune times. Of course, Bill’s infamous affair with Monica Lewinsky during his presidency stands out as the biggest blunder.  Bill Clinton almost hurt his wife yet again recently. He reportedly met with current Attorney General Loretta Lynch in secret during a layover in Phoenix recently with the FBI’s investigation of Hillary’s private email server looming.  Fortunately, for Hillary, the FBI found her to be ‘extremely careless’ but should not be charged of any wrongdoing.

In addition to Bill pulling boners (pun intended), Hillary has had a huge problem of appearing disingenuous to the American public. Recently, she talked about income inequality while wearing a $12,000 pantsuit. Several months back, while blatantly pandering to moderate Republican, she credited the Reagans for bringing awareness to AIDS, which is the exact opposite of what they did.

Throughout the debates and the primaries, Hillary and Bernie Sanders clearly distinguished themselves as the only adults in the room. If Hillary is to win the election, (and we here at the Bucket sincerely hope that she does now that Bernie Sanders is out), she’s going to have to cut down on the gaffes and change her duplicitous persona. She needs to aggressively attack Trump and the Republicans every chance she gets. She needs to play to win and not play not to lose, like her predecessors Al Gore and John Kerry. Fortunately, she seems to be doing that so far and Trump seems to be doing a pretty good job of self-destruction as well.

No doubt the Republicans will continue their witch hunt and character assassinations of Hillary. They’re already throwing a tantrum about the FBI findings. But it seems that fortunately, for her and America, she’s inherited some of Bill’s Teflon coating.

Hillary Clinton blatantly panders for moderate Republican votes, while the ghost of conservative icon, St. Ronald Reagan, makes a funny about the fallacy of trickle down economics, much to the delight of doting ghost wife, Nancy.
Hillary Clinton blatantly panders for moderate Republican votes, while the ghost of conservative icon, St. Ronald Reagan, makes a funny about the fallacy of trickle down economics, much to the delight of doting ghost wife, Nancy.

The Sun Sets On The British Empire

And we thought things were strange in America…

Great Britain took the unbelievable step and decided to exit the European Union yesterday in a stunning move which sent financial markets plummeting around the world. John Oliver gave a humorous yet poignant explanation of Brexit last week and explained why the United Kingdom should stay in the EU even though it can be incredibly frustrating at times. But the British are apparently afflicted by the same illness that plagues America and an increasing number of countries throughout Europe…radical right wing conservatism. Yes, fearmongering and anti-intellectualism is a mighty powerful combination and insidiously effects some people, especially the elderly and the lesser educated, who according to most polls, supported the Brexit. As a matter of fact, Boris Johnson, the Donald Trump of Britain, has hailed Britain stepping into the abyss as a victory. Even Donald Trump, who is visiting one of his golf courses in Scotland, approves. Most analysts concur that this move toward isolationism could have serious consequences for Britain and the rest of the world.

A common theme from all these right wing radicals in Europe and the  United States is that they all want to ‘make their country great again’. And apparently, in the mind set of right wing conservatives, making one’s country great again, means isolating itself from other countries and promoting nationalistic tendencies, denigrating immigrants and obliterating multi-culturalism, a policy which wreaked havoc in the 20th century. Britain used to be the biggest, most powerful empire on the planet, with colonies on every continent. However with the Brexit vote, one thing’s for sure: it seems that the sun has finally set on the British Empire.

P.S. If any Brit sees this photo-toon and is offended by it…bugger off! Quite frankly, we feel that you’ve lost any right to look down your noses at Americans after this blunder. Cheerio!

According to a Pythonesque British pepperpot Brexit spokesperson, Britain doesn't like anyone and is just going to take their quids home, have a banger or two and watch the tele which impresses a visiting Donald Trump so much he asks her to be his campaign manager.
A Pythonesque British pepperpot and Brexit spokesperson thoughtfully summarizes the subject, which thoroughly impresses a visiting Donald Trump.

Rewind: Stay The Course!

From the unfrigginbelievable file…

It was just announced that none other than ol’ Dubya, George W. Bush, has come out of retirement to help GOP Senators who are having trouble with their failing campaigns this fall because of the toxicity of the Republican nominee for President, Donald Trump. Isn’t that like calling in an arsonist to put out a fire? It’s amazing that just ten years ago, most sane Americans were thinking the Republican party couldn’t get much worse than good ol’ Dubya and the Bush administration. For those of you with anemic memories who actually have forgotten how horrible George W. Bush was, here’s a short list and a longer list to remind you that he’s the worst President since Herbert Hoover.

Of course, conservative Republicans being conservative Republicans, can never admit that they’re ever wrong about anything. So rather than change direction, they just plow over the cliff and into the abyss. Good luck with that Dubya thingee, GOP.

Here’s a photo-toon from our December 7, 2005 issue.

President Bush shouts his mantra 'Stay the course!', while joyriding his Republican made vehicle, America, off a cliff with Vice President Cheney, Secretary of State Rice and Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld.
President Bush shouts his mantra while joyriding his Republican made vehicle, America, off a cliff with Vice President Cheney, Secretary of State Rice and Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld.

SEGUMUCA Nation

Well, the unthinkable has happened in America. What started out as a joke last June, has become a reality. Donald Trump has pretty much clinched the Republican Presidential nomination. Like other sane, reasonable folks, we’re completely surprised and a bit horrified at the ascendancy of this disingenuous, authoritarian megalomaniac. And naturally the blamestorming has commenced. Common scapegoats include the obvious choices like the Teabagger Republicans and corporate media. The Republicans have the gall to actually blame Obama. John Stewart has suggested it’s the Democrats. We here at the Bucket will go one better; we’re all to blame for this fiasco.

That’s right folks. Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all responsible for Donald Trump because the orange rage monster is the epitome of capitalism run amok. We’ve commented before about the ugly predatory nature of unregulated capitalism.  Upton Sinclair documented it one hundred years ago in the book The Jungle and it still is applicable today. Trump has come to represent everything that capitalism holds dear; greed, avarice, egoism, ultra-competitiveness, selfishness and materialism. Most Americans who have been raised on the belief that capitalism is the only sensible economy for this planet, look to the self-aggrandizing, megalomaniac billionaire, who has had three trophy wives and scores of material possessions like houses, cars, planes, etc… and say “Hey! I want to be like him.” That’s the American way. The rich, greedy plutocrats dangle the carrot and the rest of us salivate and go after it. We’ve mentioned John Steinbeck’s quote about the poor seeing themselves as temporarily embarrasses millionaires instead of exploited grunts. These are Trump’s trumpeters; the temporarily embarrassed millionaires; and of course the plutocrats, like Sheldon Adelson, who will naturally support his fellow billionaire.

We here at the Bucket were kind of hoping that Bernie Sanders, the self proclaimed democratic socialist would have gotten the nomination. That would have made the election a referendum of sorts between democratic socialism against unregulated capitalism. According to polls, in a head to head showdown, Sanders thumps Trump.

We think it’s time that all Americans do a bit of self-introspection, especially conservatives. Conservatives generally don’t do this because in the conservative mindset, they are always right, hence no need to look at oneself in the mirror. Questioning your actions is bad and a sign of weakness. One must do what has been traditionally done forever and ever. And don’t even think of apologizing; that is absolute weakness and worthy of death. But is Donald Trump really who were are as a nation? Are we really like Trump? Are we a SEGUMUCA nation: a nation of Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Assholes? (Catchy eh?…[sound of crickets chirping]…hellllooooo) Isn’t it time we put the people’s health and welfare, the public good and the environment above profits and selfish, greedy materialistic desires? Maybe if we do that, we won’t look in the mirror, see Donald Trump snarling back and say to ourselves, “Holy Shit! How did we get so fugly!”

Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a selfish, egotistical, greedy, ultra-materialistic, ulta-competitive asshole, a.k.a. Donald Trump.
Uncle Sam recoils in horror as he looks in the mirror and sees that he has become a Selfish, Egotistical, Greedy, Ultra-Materialistic, Ultra-Competitive Asshole.

Brewer Wants Women Back In Kitchen

We thought we were done with our review of lame AZ political figures and issues but former Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer had to open her mouth and of course when that happens, something stupid usually comes out.

Brewer said in an interview that way too much emphasis has been placed on electing female candidates, stating that “this woman thing has gotten way out of control I believe.” That’s right women; get back in the kitchen and serve your man. No wonder Donald Trump and other conservative christian Republican men love her. Up Next: Jan Brewer says that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Former Arizona Governor Jan 'Skeletor' Brewer says a woman's place is in the home serving her man and Donald Trump wholeheartedly agrees.
Former Arizona Governor Jan ‘Skeletor’ Brewer announces her plans to set the women’s movement back one hundred years much to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump’s approval.

AZ’s Solar Obstructionists

We know the big news is that Trump has clinched the GOP nomination, but we’ve still got six more months of Con-a-thon 2016 to mock his crap. Nevertheless, this is our final post for now reviewing lame AZ public figures and issues…

When you think of Arizona, you usually think of one thing: sunshine…and lots of it. Arizona is sunny at least 85% of the time. You’d think with that much sunshine, Arizona would be the world leader in solar energy research. You’d think that when flying into Phoenix’s Sky Harbor airport, you’d see in addition to all the backyard pools, you’d see solar panels on every roof. You’d think that Arizona’s electric utility companies would be making roof top solar energy affordable to everyone and solar energy companies would be making money hand over fist. Well, in this state, you’d be WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

First of all the cost of rooftop solar is so high($11,000 to rent, 20-30k to buy) that most people just can’t afford it. This is even despite the fact that an overwhelming number of Arizonans are interested in solar(94% according to the above article). Being energy independent is right in line with Arizona’s independent spirit. So with the demand so high, why isn’t the solar industry exploding?

Enter the monopolistic Arizona electric utility companies. APS and SRP are the power utility companies which provide power to the Phoenix metropolitan area. They’ve spent millions on building solar arrays in the desert, like SRP’s huge array by Gila Bend, which is terrific for using clean energy. And both companies are always advertising to ‘Go Solar’. But it’s all very disingenuous. We’ve mentioned the high costs. But the rate plans, like SRPs, are something we’d expect from pirates. The whole idea is to be energy independent with rooftop solar; to get off the grid. But with the rate plans in place, you’d still have to pay a steep monthly fee, which kind of defeats the purpose of having solar panels. Like the article in the link says, SRP is saying, “You can use solar power… but only if you buy it from us, and don’t generate it yourself.” But we really shouldn’t be surprised by this, since this state is controlled by anti-environmental, conservative Republicans and they pull this kind of crap all the time in this state.

We think that SRP and APS employees should just don pirate uniforms and quit trying to con people into thinking they’re so pro-solar, when all their rate plans and prices make it impossible for normal everyday people to supply their own electricity and be energy independent. Simply put, here’s a slogan which sums up perfectly how we feel: Support Rooftop Solar – Power to the People!

An Arizona electric utility company official and pirate explains to a naive energy independent minded consumer how solar energy really works in the state of Arizona.
An Arizona electric utility company official explains to a naive, energy independent minded consumer how solar energy really works in the state of Arizona. Arrrrggghh!

AZ’s Junior Obstructionist

Continuing our review of lame AZ public figures and issues…

We’ve commented before about Arizona’s junior Senator Jeff Flake (here and here). He truly is a conundrum. On the surface, this congenial, young man with the ultra-brite smile seems like he grew up with Wally and the Beav. He even sells himself as Mr. Bipartisan. But like most con artists, it’s just for show. He’s more Eddie Haskell than Wally. Mr. Flake is joining his Republican zombie cohorts, led by Mitch ‘The Turtle’ McConnell, in obstructing President Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court. And why does Mr. Bipartisan say he’s doing this. A friend of the Bucket, who complained to the Senator about his obstructionism, shared with us this email response from Mr. Flake.

“Justice Scalia was untiring in his defense of the Constitution. His intellect, candor, and wit will be sorely missed. As we mourn the tragic loss of Justice Scalia and celebrate his life’s work, much is being said and written about whether the Supreme Court vacancy created by his death should be filled this year. One would have to go back more than a century to find a scenario where a president’s nominee for the Supreme Court was confirmed by the opposition party in the United States Senate when the vacancy occurred during an election year. I am not about to break new ground in the Senate, particularly when any nominee could so drastically shift the balance of the court.“

There you have it folks. Mr. Bipartisan isn’t going to break new ground (or be a maverick!) because he’s going to dig in his heels like his fellow Republican crybabies and defy the Constitution. He’s clearly choosing partisan politics over doing what is best for the people and this country.

We used to be feel bad for Mr. Flake. Often times, he has seemed like he is trying to legitimately reach across the aisle. He supported the end of the ban on relations with Cuba. And to his credit, he has agreed to meet with Merrick Garland.  But again, it’s just for show.  He just created his reality show to sell the public that he was reasonable, maybe to boost his credentials for a possible future run at the Presidency. But make no mistake; he’s true to his religious, anti-science base as evidence by his criticizing federal spending on science. Just when you think he’s going to make a break from the zombies as with gun control legislation a few years ago, he turns and runs back toward the narrow minded zombie hordes. Life sitting on a fence is never easy. We’re hoping that with the rise of head zombie, Donald Trump, maybe Flake will finally embrace sanity and leave the Republican party. But then again…

Arizona Senator Jeff Flake, a.k.a. Mr. Bipartisan, proudly announces that he will join his Republican zombie cohorts, led by Mitch 'The Turtle' McConnell, to boldly obstruct President Obama's Supreme Court nomination for partisan reasons.
Arizona Senator Jeff Flake, a.k.a. Mr. Bipartisan, proudly announces that he will join his Republican zombie cohorts, led by Mitch ‘The Turtle’ McConnell, to boldly obstruct President Obama’s Supreme Court nomination for partisan reasons.

AZ’s Senior Obstructionist

Continuing our review of lame AZ public figures and issues…

The Supreme Court obstructionism continues and both of Arizona’s Senators are joining their crybaby Republican colleagues in blatantly avoiding their constitutional duty. We’ve ribbed repeatedly Arizona’s Senior Obstructionist, John McCain(here, here and here for starters). Yes, our ‘maverick’ Senator, who famously reached across the aisle to champion Campaign Finance Reform, only to vote against an amendment which would overturn the Supreme Court’s atrocious Citizens United ruling, which gives the well funded corporate elites of this country carte blanche to control elections, recently was quoted as saying ““I believe that we should wait until after the next election and let the American people pick the next president, and we should consider who the next president of the United States nominates.” This contrasts greatly to the old John McCain, who used to solidly support the Senate voting on Supreme Court nominations. What’s more, in 1993 and 1994, McCain voted to approve President Clinton’s Supreme Court appointments of Breyer and Ginsberg by saying “under our Constitution, it is the president’s call to make.” In addition, McCain, like several other Republicans, wholeheartedly approved Merrick Garland’s appointment to the Washington D.C appeals court as chief judge in 1997.

So what’s up with Mr. Maverick? We here at the Bucket think that Senator McCain’s best days are clearly far, far behind him. He’s up for reelection this year(he’s facing a stiff challenge from Democrat Ann Kirkpatrick and fellow Republican Kelli Ward) and this issue may decide if he retains his position. He’s seems to be acting more like a crotchety, old curmudgeon than a distinguished senator.  His dislike of Obama has unhinged him so much that he won’t even perform his constitutional duty. We’ve commented before here that many Republicans have said that if the current President was Republican, they’d approve the nomination. It’s clearly the Republicans who are playing politics. Ol’ Man McCain needs to join Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Helen Purcell and ride off into the Arizona sunset.

Crusty, old codger and Senator, John McCain, demonstrates his 'maverick' style by explaining why he supports obstructionism over solid, bipartisan statesmanship much to the delight of his plutocratic overlord.
Crusty, old codger and Senator, John McCain, demonstrates his ‘maverick’ style by explaining why he supports obstructionism over solid, bipartisan statesmanship much to the delight of his plutocratic overlord.

AZ’s Education Fraud

Continuing our review of lame AZ public figures and issues…

A special election is coming up here in Arizona on May 17,2016 that deals with the funding of Arizona’s woeful education system. This article at DailyKos explains the issue better than we could. The Republicans is this state have been trying since forever to release all that public land so private interests(land developers) can make money on it. So it’s perfectly natural that privatization fans, a.k.a. Republicans hold Arizona’s children as hostage – “fork over your precious land or the kids get it!” The answer to a better education is solved by increasing the corporate tax or just raising taxes. But corporate, business and private interests are of primary importance here in the land of the Republican wingnuts and taxes are a four letter word. Which is why corporate friendly tools, like Governor Ducey, are so actively trying to pull this fraud on Arizonans. Like the article at DailyKos says, it’s a bit dubious that all the slick, special, private, monied interests support Prop 123 and all the regular folks, who aren’t so richly backed, are saying nay. Just another day in the clusterf*cked state of Arizona politics. At least we’ve got beautiful scenery…er…ummm…maybe not for much longer. Happy Earth Day everyone?

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only 'reasonable' way to save Arizona's abysmal education system is to sell off the land to 'private interests' a.k.a. developers and industry.
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) declares that the only ‘reasonable’ way to save Arizona’s abysmal education system is to sell off the land to ‘private interests’ a.k.a. developers and industry.