Tag Archive for 2008

Going Rogue!

Continuing with our ‘something completely different – get me the hell out of the nightmare year that is 2020’ photo-toon retrospective. . .

Remember when the craziest thing about the Republican party was Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin? Fun times! The Queen of Wasilla certainly made quite a ruckus when she published her book Going Rogue. Oh right. . . late Senator John McCain also chose her as his Vice Presidential candidate in 2008, which resulted in the rise of the Teabaggers in 2010. Ooops!!! Yeah, we never forgave McCain for that one.

Here’s a photo-toon from our October 28, 2008 issue featuring a certain beloved cartoon character moose who has fallen victim to a certain rogue hunter.

The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.
The United States is now a more dangerous place for a certain beloved cartoon character moose.

Rewind: A Promise Too Far

The 2020 presidential election has become clearer in the past week with the results of Super Tuesday. Joe Biden won a clear victory and is now the front runner with Bernie Sanders not too far behind in second place. Michael Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar have bowed out and given their support to Biden. Unfortunately, for all Americans, Elizabeth Warren, the smartest candidate running in this election, has also called it quits. So, basically it’s a two horse race between a couple senior citizens; one a corporatist, one a social democrat. We’ve got the funny feeling that once again, despite having a myriad of social programs(Medicare, Social Security, etc…) already in place, Americans are still having a collective brain fart on social democracy and socialism.

Honestly, we prefer the Warren-Sanders wing of the Democrat Party. However, although we here at the Bucket are progressive independents, we are voting for whomever the Democratic nominee is, just like we have for the past twenty-eight years. Just look at the Trump administration in addition to the Bush administration (not to mention the first Bush and the Reagan administrations) and you’ll understand why we’ll never vote for another Republican as long as we live. But we’ve been around long enough to know that Joe Biden is not the perfect candidate. Let’s face it, folks; Biden likes to bullshit and he’s a big time gaffe master. If there’s a chance he’ll stick his foot in his mouth or tell embarrassing tall tales, he will. Back in 2008 when Obama named Biden his VP, we collectively slapped our foreheads and said “Oh, oh!” But thankfully, Biden turned out to be a commendable Vice President. He is a good, honorable man who will do the right thing for all Americans. But, he will also do and say some stupid things along the way, guaranteed. So, don’t let the conservative corporate media or Fox News Republican propaganda machine fool you. Yes, Biden’s having senior moments, but then again Trumpty Dumpty is outpacing Uncle Joe on that front by a country mile. Donald Trump is by the far the WORST choice for America and the world and he proves it on a daily basis.

Here’s a photo-toon from our March 7, 2009 issue, where Obama assures the American populace that Biden will not insert his foot into his mouth while Uncle Joe has some reservations about that prospect.

President Obama may have made one promise he can't keep. concerning Vice President and gaffe master Joe Biden.
President Obama may have made one promise he can’t keep.

Election BS

Here’s some more BS, this time of the political variety.  We’ve refrained so far from commenting on the upcoming 2012 Presidential election because it’s still 2011. Remember back in the ’60s and ’70s, candidates usually didn’t start having debates until at least the summer before the election. Now we’re having them a year and two months before the election. And political pundits are declaring that it’s too late for Sarah Palin to run. We’ve got 14 months left. Everyone knows Ms. Ubetcha’s going to end up running. Yes, the 2012 election is gearing up to be one big joke. With that in mind, here’s an article from our May 12, 2007 issue.

Americans Ponder 2008 Presidential Candidates

The 2008 Presidential Election is heating up as the American electorate must choose their next President with a scant 18 months left until the general election. Both Democratic and Republican candidates have fielded questions about the issues in the hopes of setting them apart from each other. Most Americans unbelievably still haven’t made up their minds yet but many offered up their impressions of the candidates so far.

Democrat Ken Brewster of Maltby, Delaware, said “I’m a big fan of cookies so I like Dennis Kucinich. He looks just like a Keebler elf. Hopefully, he’s got some of that elfin magic.”

Texstar Oil Co. CEO Charles F. Townsend IV said, “For my money, I like George W. Bush. He’s done everything we’ve paid him to do. We’ve posted record profits since he’s been in office and he’s turned back just about every environmental regulation that hinders us from cashing in big time. What? He can’t run again because this is his second term. Well, we’ll just see about that. Kendra! Bring me my checkbook! I’ve got a Constitution to mold to my liking.”

Alan Jackson of Cedar Falls, Virginia said, “I’m an African American so it’s pretty obvious who I’m voting for…Mitt Romney. Who else speaks more for the poor, oppressed, disenfranchised black people of America than a squeaky clean, rich, white Mormon?”

Lisa O’Bannon of Walnut Creek, Indiana said, “I’m voting for Sanjaya. He’s sooooooooooo cute!”

David Wichita of Topeka, Kansas said, “I’m voting for Sam Brownback. He doesn’t believe in evolution. He knows that the only way to change your lot in life is by the power of prayer. Well that and sending at least one hundred dollars a month to the good Reverend Bilkwell’s ministries and their prayer specialists. Their prayers count extra don’t you know.”

Noel Chambers of Delshire, New Hampshire, said “I’m voting for that electrifying Democratic candidate from 2004. He was absolutely unforgettable. Oh, what was his name? I can see him so clearly in my mind’s eye right now. He was really wooden, had great hair and had a monotone speaking voice. Gore!…no wait that was 2000. Dukakis!…no that was in ’88. Mondale…no that was in 1984. Kerry, that’s it. Wow! I just had a revelation. I know why the Democrats have lost so many Presidential elections since 1980.”

Janice Meese of Conrad, Oklahoma said, “Most people think that as a woman, I’m going to vote for Hillary Clinton. But I believe a woman just shouldn’t be President. According to the Bible, the woman’s place is in the home, raising the kids, and cooking the meals. Why if I don’t have dinner on the table at 5:00pm when Jim gets home from work, there is hell to pay, believe you me. And I never question anything Jim says. He’s the man of the house and is therefore always right. Besides, a woman just won’t be able to protect us from those fanatical Muslims. Can you believe how badly they treat their women?”

Drag queen, Nina Broadway of San Francisco, California said, “Giuliani speaks to me for some reason. He’s the only candidate in either party who’s dressed like a woman… oops…that is besides Hillary. But then again, Rudy looks better in a dress than she does.”

“I like that Mike Gravel guy,” said Nick Yankowski of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. “He’s kind of cross between Fozzie Bear and Admiral Stockdale. Remember him. He was Perot’s running mate in ’92. Remember when he asked during the debates, ‘Why am I here?’ Hah! Hah! We need those kind of madcap antics in this election to keep our minds off what a mess this country is in.”

Staunch Republican Joe ‘Digger’ Belsky of Laughton, Illinois said, “I know who I’m not going to vote for and that’s Bill Richardson. That guy advocates diplomacy, fiscal responsibility and energy independence. Then he says the first thing he’s going to do is withdraw from Iraq and then he’s going to establish a sound, environmentally friendly energy policy. I mean, what kind of moonbeam, wacko, nut job is he?”