Tag Archive for polls

Racists Pickin’ Cotton?

Lost amidst the recent headlines of America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump ignoring Russia’s bounties on American soldiers in Afghanistan, the ever expanding number of COVID-19 cases in the U.S. and all the other Trumpf*ckery that is transpiring right now, is the apparent debut of the possible new standard bearer for the Republican party in the 2024 presidential election. The polls are so bad for Trump that some Republicans seem to be giving up hope and laying the groundwork for a successor to the authoritarian wing of the GOP. Some are even saying Trump will drop out. We don’t know about that but there’s one person who has stepped forward as the new white hope for Republicans: Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton.

Cotton recently penned a much criticized opinion piece in the New York Times stating that the military must be used to crush any protesters with overwhelming force. Gee, Mr. Cotton. . . does that go for the boneheaded, assault rifle toting, anti-lockdown MÆGAMorons who don’t want to wear a mask because it doesn’t look manly? Of course not! Those guys are white! Now, we’re not saying Cotton is racist but he sure is using the same dog whistles as Trump and other GOP Senators from the South have been using . . . for decades.

In addition to his toxic tome in the Times, he also spouted similar racist logic recently when the House approved statehood for Washington D.C. In Cotton’s dissenting viewpoint: despite that “the District has more residents than both Wyoming and Vermont, he argued that its economy and political leanings disqualified it from full representation. Its citizens, he suggested, were incapable of governing themselves responsibly and, in any case, did not deserve a voice in Congress because they hold jobs he considered illegitimate“. When you consider the fact that the majority of D.C. is African-American and Democrat . . . yeah, that’s some pretty good racism right there. Then Cotton said Wyoming’s “well-rounded working class” was more worthy of statehood. As you already may have surmised, Wyoming is mostly white (around 80%) and very Republican. Yep, we’re thinking the possible new GOP standard bearer Tom Cotton will be a dad gum fine heir to the right-wing, authoritarian, fascist, Nazi and KKK loving, redneck empire, now called the Republican party.

Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.
Arkansas Senator and complete non-racist Tom Cotton explains with foolproof logic why anti-lockdown protesters are okay while all other protesters should be annihilated.

Mister Fitness

Things are not going well lately for America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. His coronavirus response has been anemic as COVID-19 cases continues to escalate across the United States and the death toll mounts. His ‘comeback rally’ in Tulsa was a complete and total disaster. His poll numbers are tanking and Joe Biden has opened up a sizable lead, although we know better (see the 2016 presidential elections) than to completely trust polls especially four months before election day.

But probably the funniest thing that’s happened is the problems our fearless Leader has had with basic human motor functions. Much mockery has been made of Trump’s exit down a ramp from a West Point speech that made him appear “like a baby deer on a frozen pond”. During that same West Point speech, our orange-haired megalomaniac narcissist drank a glass of water like a toddler using his sippy cup. Normally, we wouldn’t mock elderly people who are having trouble. However, Trump has derided and mocked others every day of his clusterf*ck of a presidency while simultaneously bragging what a perfect human specimen he is. He has become so unhinged that he spent several minutes regaling the crowd of his domination of the water glass and his ramp descent like he had just single-handedly wrestled a hippo into submission in the Congo. He even drank a glass of water with one hand, to hoots and hollers from the small crowd. So, this is what it’s come to, folks; Trump supporters are cheering for and worshiping a man because he can drink a glass of water . . . with one hand. Yikes!!!

Yes, Donald Trump is Mister Fitness, America. We have no doubt that soon he’ll be boasting about running a mile under four . . . HOURS.

America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.
America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator, stable genius, fittest President ever and the self proclaimed ‘chosen one’, Donald Trump, amazes everyone with magnificent feats of derring-do like running a sub-four hour mile and drinking a glass of water with one hand.