Tag Archive for Iowa

Iowa Caucus: There’s Not An App For That

The election primary season is kicking off and the Democratic needed a solid beginning to send a strong message to America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator Donald Trump that his days as ‘dear Leader’ of this country are numbered. But instead of serving up a caucus the Iowa Democrats served up a caucusf*ck. Apparently, an app the administrators had a “reporting issue” and wasn’t functioning properly and brought the integrity of the results into question. It’s the weekend but the precise results are still in doubt with Pete Buttigieg and Bernie Sanders both claiming victories. Talk about serving up red meat to Trump. You just know that the orange haired megalomaniac and his flying monkey sycophants at Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network, will continually point to the incompetence displayed during the caucus as proof that Democrats will do anything to ‘rig an election’ and cannot be trusted. And all this after a superb performance by House Democrats, led by Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler, in proving the guilt of Trump in his impeachment trial.

At least the Iowa fiasco is pushing forth a movement that just might get rid of the troublesome caucus forever and install a primary system in its stead just like almost every other state. There are several annoying anomalies on the Democratic primary side (superdelegates, anyone), and if the Dems finally decide to move into the 21st century and kill off the caucus and superdelegates, then that would probably increase their chances in future elections. Plus, there’s no way Iowa should be the first voting event of the presidential elections season since its demographics are so homogeneous. Here’s hoping at least that the Democrats learn something from this debacle.

America's CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.
America’s CEO/Dictator and geography genius Donald Trump offers the administrators of the Iowa caucus app that clusterf*cked spectacularly a special reward for helping him in his re-election effort; annexation to Kansas City.

Ol’ Pruneface Grassley

One person who came to the forefront for his surliness in the sham Kavanaugh hearings was Iowa senator, Chuck Grassley. He’s the very epitome of a cranky, cantankerous, old man sitting on his front porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Even the BilgeBucket’s resident old coot, Chester Einstein, says Grassley out-cranks him. Now that’s cranky!

Well, not only was his surliness during the hearings widely noted, he stated this week that the reason for the absence of GOP women on the Senate Judiciary committee was due to the heavy workload, implying that women couldn’t handle the job like a man could. The committee has never had a female Republican on it, whereas Democrats currently have four. Grassley, of course, backtracked and spun his comments like a true conservative Republican, but given his behavior toward the women involved in the Kavanaugh hearings, we think this sexist old coot should probably retire to his front porch for real come 2020 when he’s up for re-election.

We here at the Bucket are old enough to remember the Dick Tracy comics and we think that ol’ Chuck Grassley, with his permanently dour, sour and stoic expression bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s villains, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol' coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy's old nemeses, Pruneface.

Hot from his curmudgeony performance at the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, Iowa senator and crusty ol’ coot, Chuck Grassley, bears a striking resemblance to one of Dick Tracy’s old nemeses, Pruneface.

Making Those Poor Plutocrats Richer

As expected, the Republican corporate lackeys passed their ugly tax bill early Saturday morning by a 51-49 vote much to the delight of their plutocrat benefactors. This tax cut plan, which benefits mostly the 1%ers, including America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is being negatively received by mostly everyone. It also cuts the corporate tax rate from thirty-five percent to a mere twenty percent. But despite all the crowing by Republican corporate lackeys, the bill doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, which is one reason why they’re trying to jam it through. But the GOP had to also act quickly on the tax cut bill because Trump may not be available for much longer with Michael Flynn pleading guilty of lying to the FBI on Friday, and Trump tweeting that he knew Flynn lied which means he admits to obstruction of justice. Hence, another reason for rushing even though it was mostly unreadable (see Montana Senator Jon Tester’s video noting the shoddiness of the rewrites).

What’s astonishing is that there are people, a.k.a Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, who still believe the myth of trickle down economics. When the rich get money, they don’t let it leave their greedy little hands. They’re not going to invest it; they keep it or spend it on their favorite people; themselves. To illustrate this point, Iowa senator Chuck Grassley stated “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing, as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” Yeah, what about buying food, clothing, health care and the necessities of life, which are becoming more expensive thanks to the out of control greedy assholes like Grassley and his fellow Republicans in this country. We like the Young Turks commentary on this colossal jackass. But this is indicative of how all Republicans think of the middle class and poor. If we were Iowans who were among the 99%, we’d start a torch and pitchfork parade to Grassley’s farm for some up close and personal explanations and to possibly explain to Mr. Grassley how compassion for your fellow human beings actually works.

Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump's tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them.

Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump’s tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them.

Republicans Receive Iowa Participation Trophies; They’re All ‘Winners’

Well, the Iowa Caucus BS is mercifully over and as predicted, the Republican Clown Car has gotten a lot roomier in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016.

On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton finished in a virtual tie and nice guy, Martin O’Malley, wisely decided to end his campaign and devote his time to playing more guitar and doing ab crunches. We’re wondering if Sanders’ strong performance might mean that the ‘liberal’ media might actually start covering his campaign.

On the GOP side, the smuggest Senator alive, Ted Cruz, pulled a surprise and upset frontrunner Donald Trump, mostly by huckstering  the evangelical christian vote. The funny thing about the Republican results is that despite not winning, Donald Trump and third place finisher, Marco Rubio, proudly declared that they were winners, too. Of course, all the egotistical Republicans think they’re winners, even Rand Paul, Mike *uckabee, and Rick Santorum, who all suspended their campaigns due to a complete lack of interest from voters. Then there’s Jeb Bush who finished a distant sixth. But then again, Jeb Bush said several weeks ago, they he prefers being in the back of the pack. Yep, there’s nothing like leading from behind. If he’s not careful he’ll be conducting his campaign from his couch.

It’s interesting to note that *uckabee won Iowa in 2008 and Santorum won in 2012 and of course they went on to…lose badly. Hmmm…we’re hoping that this trend continues in 2016 and Cruz plummets before too long.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses  GOP candidates, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they're winners.

Despite losing the Iowa Caucuses, GOP candidates and extraordinary con artists, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee and Jeb Bush all proudly proclaim they’re winners.

Trump’s Trumpeters

The first election of the sham that is Con-a-thon 2016 is coming up this Monday and everyone is getting in some late minute BS slinging before Iowans go to the polls in the Iowa Caucuses. Donald Trump made quite a ruckus (what else is new!) this past week by bypassing the Fox News Republican debate this past Thursday because Donald Trump doesn’t like Megyn Kelly. Geez! For a tough guy, Trump sure is acting like a baby. But again, what else is new for this megalomaniac who recently bragged that he could shoot people in the middle of New York and still not lose voters.  While this statement shows how dangerously psychotic Trump is, it says more about how insane Trump’s supporters are because he’s actually right. Donald Trump could murder innocent people and his demented supporters would still vote for him.

Speaking of people supporting Trump, he’s got quite an eclectic list of celebrity endorsements heading into Iowa. Rolling Stone has another list. If you look at the lists, there are a lot of authoritarian, tough guy, manly men like Arizona’s own Joe ‘Just Call Me God’ Arpaio, Hulk Hogan, Mike Tyson and Russian President Vladimir Putin who said of Trump “he’s a bright and talented person”. We guess it takes a tyrant to know a tyrant. We’re sure that Putin and Trump could team up and subjugate the hell out of the rest of the world just like Stalin and Hitler did. Of course, all of these aggressive egotists would rather fight and kill than use something peaceful like diplomacy.

On the female side, there’s Ms. Ubetcha, Sarah Palin, who gave the strangest endorsement speech of all time (we like Stephen Colbert’s mockery of it). Conservative harpie and living skeleton Ann Coulter, anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly and empty headed reality star Tila Tequila all are Trumpeters on Trump’s solid gold bandwagon.

But probably the strangest endorsement was by John Wayne. Although the Duke has been dead since 1979 , his daughter Aissa said that if John Wayne were alive today, he would endorse the Donald. You see Donald Trump’s 19th century mindset sits perfectly with the cowboy image embodied by the Duke. So to make America great again, we just have to make everything like it was back in the days of the Wild West (everybody’s got a gun; shoot first, ask questions later; tough, tough, tough; kill, kill, kill, etc…). We think Donald Trump’s motto should be, “We’re Going Back To The Future”.

Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, the ghost of John Wayne and Donald Trump all think that Donald Trump is great.

Megalomaniac GOP candidate Donald Trump modestly acknowledges his ‘greatness’ to his adoring fans like Vladimir Putin, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and the ghost of John Wayne.

Rick ‘the Dick’ Surges

The joke that is Con-a-thon 2012 continues. 122,224 Iowans (or 0.04% of the US population) have spoken and Spiff Romney has won the Iowa caucus by a whopping 8 votes over surprise runner-up Rick “Google Me” Santorum. Wily ol’ Prospector Ron “I’m agin’ everything” Paul finished a close third.

But the big news is that another once dead candidate has risen from the ashes. That’s right folks. The new flavor of the month appears to be that champion of intelligent design, anti-gay rights, anti-choice and bombing Iran, Rick Santorum. Incredible! The guy who made such of fuss about the top Google ranking of the site spreadingsantorum.com is now a front runner for the GOP nomination. Wow! Con-a-thon 2012: what an absolute farce!  What’s even more ludicrous is the media attention heaped on this ‘all important’ caucus. According to the media, this nation of 301 million must now base it’s entire decision on what 122,224 people decided. Democracy in action? We’ll see who the corporations and Super PACs (you know, BIG MONEY) get behind and support. The bs just keeps getting piled higher and deeper.

We’ve only one photo-toon of Rick Santorum from our archives. This is from our July 7, 2006 issue when Rick ‘the Dick’, enabler extraordinaire of the Bush Administration’s military adventurism in the Middle East and ace sleuth, came forward and said that the WMD’s were found in Iraq. Rick was voted out of office the following November.

Pennsylvania Senator and super sleuth Rick Santorum recently claimed that the WMDs in Iraq were found, despite intelligence officials, military officials and even the Bush administration confirming that the pre-1991 chemicals weren't the WMDs the administration cited in its argument for war and, as former weapons inspector David Kay stated, were about as harmful as household pesticides.


Prospector Paul Reckons Thar’s Gold in Them Thar Cornfields

It’s looks like there might be a new front runner in the GOP Con-a-thon 2012 Presidential race; that eternal contrarian, Ron Paul. Really? Ron Paul? The guy who’s been running since 2007 and no one takes seriously? Well, that crusty ol’ codger is leading in some polls with the Iowa caucuses only a week away. Paul has plodded along in the back of the Republican field mostly because of his libertarian views; he’s too conservative for liberals and he’s too liberal for conservatives. However, he has many staunch fans who like his cantankerous demeanor and his all-over-the-map views on issues ranging from his non-interventionist foreign policy to his vehement anti-abortion stance to his pro-prostitution views. We here at the Bucket see him as that ol’ prospector sidekick from the westerns. He’s good for comic relief and pushing discussions and issues forward, but should he really be leading the posse. Con sarn it, we’re agin’ it!

GOP candidate and crusty, contrarian curmudgeon, Ron Paul, reckons he'll rustle up some votes and vittles in ol' I-O-WAY.