The holiday season is in full swing. If you haven’t spent yourself into bankruptcy yet and are still looking for the right gift for that special someone in your life, look no further. Our intrepid staff has conveniently compiled a list of the hot “gotta have it” items for this years holiday season. Take this to the mall and don’t forget your helmet, spiked gloves and shoulder pads. Holiday shopping is dangerous!

• A set of masonry drill bits
• Texas Hold ‘Em Poker Starter Set – For Kids
• Mazeltel’s Talking Menorah featuring the voice of Fran Drescher
• Mercenary Jesus Hummel Figurine
  
• Lindsay Lohan’s new fragrance: Eau dat Skank
• Pischer Frice’s My First AK-47 – For Kids
• A jar of Colon Cleanse
• A $30,000 Tiffany’s yellow diamond ring with a double-row of white round brilliant diamonds in platinum and 18k gold – Oops…That’s just for Newt and Callista Gingrich
  
• Allahsbro’s Lil’ Suicider Fun Kit
• Joan Rivers’ Do-It-Yourself Skin Tightening Clamps
• Fear Factor Bug And Testicle Blender – For Kids
• A barrel of sweet crude
• ‘My Favorite Kwanzaa Memories‘ audio CD by Mitt Romney
• A shiny, new Festivus pole