The Swamp Keeper

One of Donald Trump’s biggest promises during the 2016 election was that he would drain the swamp. The fact of the matter is that he hasn’t drained the swamp at all but, to the contrary, has restocked it with industry insiders, lobbyists and Wall Street plutocrats who have every intention of bringing down the government while filling up their own coffers. One of these swamp creatures is Wilbur Ross, who we’ve commented on before on his willing ignorance of Saudi customs and the plight of the modern day middle class.

Well, it turns out that Wilbuuuuurrr is being held in contempt of court, along with Attorney General Bill Barr, for his role in trying to get an illegal citizenship question on the census. America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant man child, Donald Trump, has been none too happy with this filthy rich plutocrat and rumors are swirling that Ross’s days in the cabinet may be through.

But fear not Wilbuuuuurrr fans. We’ve noticed that this filthy rich plutocrat bear a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt. We have no doubt that if Hollywood decides to reboot this series, Ross would be a natural. He’s already shown adeptness at keeping the swamp in Washington D.C.; we’re sure he’ll be able to entertain all the boils and ghouls with his rapid fire wit and ghastly puns.

Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.
Commerce Secretary, plutocrat and swamp creature, Wilbur Ross, bears a striking resemblance to the Cryptkeeper and has even developed his own punny quips to nauseate all the boils and ghouls.

Trump’s New Babysitter


Chief of Staff John Kelly has announced that he is leaving the clusterf*ck that is the Trump administration by January 2nd, 2019. This has brought about another crisis for America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, who hasn’t been able to find anyone who wants the job. Nick Ayers, Mike Pence’s chief of staff, was considered first but he declined. Other names floated around were Trump’s Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and his own daughter Ivanka. Not even colossal sycophant Chris ‘Suckinupagus’ Christie wants this lousy job.

Enter OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, who has been named interim chief by Trump. The Mickster has shown shameless shilling skills for the moneyed elite in the past, so he’s comfortable dealing with spoiled rich plutocrats who want to have their way at any and all costs. Mulvaney is such a hypocrite he called Trump a ‘terrible human being’ just days before the 2016 election, but yet he’s decided now to take the position. But the honeymoon is over before it started for Mulvaney as Trump has already voiced complaints about him because of the video. Yes, we’re thinking that Mulvaney could be gone before 2019 even gets started.

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, shows what a hypocritical twit he is by becoming America's CEO/Dicator Donald Trump's new Chief of Staff/babysitter.
OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, has been named the new Chief of Staff/babysitter for America’s CEO/Dictator and petulant child, Donald Trump.

If You’ve Got The Money, Mulvaney Has The Time


One of Donald Trump’s promises upon coming into office was draining the swamp. As we’ve commented many times before, America’s CEO/Dictator has not only not drained the swamp, he’s restocked it, mostly with corporate friendly hacks like Scott Pruitt who have no qualms on dismantling our government protections while spending millions of taxpayer’s dollars doing it. Which brings us to Trump’s director of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), Mick Mulvaney.

As CNN reported, Mulvaney said the swampiest thing you could possibly say. Mulvaney proclaimed proudly that “What you do here matters. We had a hierarchy in my office in Congress. If you were a lobbyist who never gave us money, I didn’t talk to you. If you were a lobbyist who gave us money, I might talk to you. If you came from back home and sat in my lobby, I talked to you without exception regardless of the financial contributions.” Or in other words, if you’ve got the money, I’ve got the time. Hardly the words you want to hear from a supposedly ‘honest’ government official who also claims to be catholic. But then again, the Trump administration hypocritically spews forth lies and deception every second of every day.

In addition, Mulvaney wants to eliminate public access to the consumer complaints database at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Therefore, they can give financial shysters even more power to wield over unsuspecting consumers because in America, profit is more important than people. You’ve got to screw the other guy before he screws you and if you don’t have money, you are shit out of luck, buddy. Still think capitalism is a christian economic system?

OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, hustles plutocrats for funds and special privileges in the completely honest and not swampy at all Trump administration with his mantra of "If you've got the money, I've got the time".
OMB director, carnival barker and corporate lackey, Mick Mulvaney, hustles plutocrats for funds and special privileges in the completely honest and not swampy at all Trump administration.