Bush – Page 6 – BilgeBucket Gazette

Jeb’s Fatal Delusion

From all accounts, Jeb Bush’s ship appears to be sinking in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. Not only have his performances been lackluster in the ridiculous GOP debates, but he seems to be completely delusional about his brother, George W. Bush’s tenure as President. Lead GOP clown, Donald Trump actually did something the spineless Democrats never could do; call Dubya out for his failure at preventing 9/11. As one could predict, Jeb defended his brother like he’s done this whole election season, saying his brother’s response to 9/11 was ‘awe-inspiring’. Really???!!!! Yes, seeing Dubya sitting there reading ‘My Pet Goat’ to grade schoolers sure inspired us. And then that whole invading Iraq on faulty intelligence of WMDs that resulted in a quagmire with thousands of American deaths and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi deaths, not to mention the rise of Al-Qaeda and now the rise of ISIS to fill the power vacuum left by Saddam Hussein and costing the US over a trillion dollars. And how about how Dubya politicized 9/11 during the 2004 election, literally scaring the sheeple into voting for him. And don’t get us started about his economic policies that just about bankrupted America. WOW! That was awesome! We think that maybe Jeb should join Dubya painting people in the bathtub.

George Bush respoded to 9/11 by starting the Iraq War quagmire, politicizing 9/11 and causing the Great Recession. — GOP Presidential candidate, Jeb Bush, thinks his brother Dubya was an ‘awe-inspiring’ President and an even awesomer painter.

Rewind: Bush’s Lap Dog

Let’s return to those thrilling days of yesteryear, right before the Iraq War…

Well, it turns out that examining Hillary Clinton’s emails is revealing a treasure trove of information. Thanks to a memo dated March 28, 2002, then Secretary of State Colin Powell assured Bush that former British Prime Minister and Bush lapdog, Tony ‘Poopsie’ Blair, would be on board for a war against Iraq. This is almost a year before the invasion and proves that Bush and Blair plotted behind closed doors to manipulate public opinion in America and Britain to push for that clusterf*ck known as the Iraq War. At that time though, Blair told his fellow Brits that they were seeking diplomatic solutions. Golly Gee, you mean Bush and Blair both lied! Imagine that! We encourage everyone to click on the link and read the article.

Of course, we always knew that Blair was just Bush’s lapdog. Here’s a photo-toon from our March 14, 2004 edition.

President Bush officially makes Tony 'Poopsie' Blair the new White House lapdog, replacing Spot, who died last month. — President Bush officially makes Tony ‘Poopsie’ Blair the new White House lapdog, replacing Spot, who died last month.

The Benghazi Witch Hunt

In the aftermath of the first Democratic debates, more Republican stupidity…

California GOP congressman Kevin McCarthy made headlines recently in a couple ways. First, he was next in line to replace John Boehner (pronounced bo-ner) as Speaker of the House. But upon seeing that he would somehow have to spend every waking moment trying to wrangle the Tea Party wingnuts, he decided to remove his name from consideration, thus throwing the House of Representatives into even more chaos.

The second way, which was the cause of the aforementioned event, was that McCarthy showed his incompetence by opening admitting that the Benghazi hearings were nothing more than a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton at the expense of the taxpayers money. So, seeing that he pretty much blew the Republican’s cover, he bowed out.

A Benghazi whistleblower came forward last week pretty much saying the same thing as McCarthy, which brought forth the lead investigator of the Benghazi witch hunt, South Carolina GOP Congressman Trey Gowdy from his underground lair to denounce the whistleblower and McCarthy. Which in turn brought a surprise response from CNN denouncing Gowdy.

What this all means is what most sane Americans have suspected all along. The Benghazi investigation is nothing but a political character assassination campaign by the GOP against Hillary Clinton in order to prevent her from being elected President. Now the teabagger Republicans in the House are going to start another witch hunt at the taxpayers expense investigating Hillary’s private e-mail server she kept as Secretary of State. If they want true justice, then they should also investigate former Secretary of State Colin Powell, who also relied on personal e-mails. While they’re at it, investigate all those e-mails that got erased from Dubya’s White House account back in 2007. Oh that’s right! We keep forgetting. It’s okay when Republicans do it.

Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton for Benghazi and her e-mail server. — Puritanical clowns and GOP congressmen Kevin McCarthy and Trey Gowdy find a way to waste taxpayers money by conducting a political witch hunt on Hillary Clinton.

The Republicans’ Toxic Masculinity Problem

The Republicans’ stupid has been coming fast and furious lately…it’s been hard for us to keep up. But we’ve got to comment on Jeb Bush’s statements following the school shootings in Oregon last week. In an interview following the tragedy, ‘compassionate conservative’ Jeb stated that you know ‘Stuff happens’. Can’t you just feel the sympathy oozing from his pores? Just the latest in our corporate lackey politicians licking the gun barrels of the NRA, the weapons industry and the military industrial complex. Because you know you can’t possibly be a man unless you have a gun and of course, as in all things manly, you’ve got to have either a big gun or a lot of them.

There’s a new buzzword that’s been making the rounds lately called ‘toxic masculinity’ and this catch phrase fits today’s gun culture perfectly. Since December 2012, we’ve had 990 mass shootings. When you care more about a gun than living beings, that’s a sign of a sick society. Our spineless politicians should stand up to the gun lobbyists and say enough is enough. It’s incredible that Republicans are so myopic that they’re still focusing on the 4 lives lost at Benghazi and not the 1249 people lost to gun violence in the past three years. It’s time for Americans to vote these incompetents out of office. If our elected officials won’t take the necessary steps to make this country safer, then maybe it’s time for new elected officials.

GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that 'stuff happens' while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval. — GOP Presidential candidate Jeb Bush, compassionately explains that ‘stuff happens’ while NRA executive vice president, Wayne LaPierre, gives him a big vote of approval.

Cheney: Wrong On Everything

Guess who reared his ugly head again? That’s right; everyone’s favorite Dick, Dick Cheney. The American war criminal and all around lying munchhead, was making rounds in the media proclaiming to all that Obama Iran Deal was ‘madness’. What is madness is that any supposedly ‘liberal’ media outlet would let this hawkish, manipulative piece of excrement in its studios, spreading his lies and propaganda to the public. Fortunately, the White House has come out with a video at showing how wrong Cheney has been about everything. (We’re including the video at the end of this post.) WHAT A DICK!!!

Also, we started a policy here earlier this year that whenever Dick Cheney appeared in the press spouting his lies, we’d repeat his biggest one on Iraq. This is precisely the same strategy taken by the Bush Administration and the Republican Fear and Noise Machine, a.k.a The Republican Propaganda Network, a.k.a Fox News; to repeat things ad nauseum until the sheeple get it. Every person in America needs to see this video because it proves that at least one very influential person in the Bush Administration knew the Iraq War would be a quagmire and went ahead with it anyway saying instead that we would be greeted as liberators. Bush and Cheney are liars and need to be prosecuted! PLEASE…take time out and view this video!

Rewind: Extreme Trump Makeovers

In honor of ‘the Donald’ leading the other Republican clowns in the early months of Con-a-thon 2016 and Dubya writing a fundraising letter for his brother Jeb, we’d thought we would rewind back to a photo-toon we did in our April 25, 2004 issue; back when Trump was king of reality television with his new hit ‘The Apprentice’ and Dubya was using scare tactics on the American sheeple so he could have four more years of ‘presidentin’. Ahhhh! Fun times!

George W. Bush, 'Dubya', uses scare tactics on the American public on the first episode of the of the new reality show, 'Extreme Trump Makeovers'. — Members of the Bush Administration are the first contestants of the new reality show, 'Extreme Trump Makeovers'. From left:Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, President Bush, Donald Rumsfeld.

Rewind: Delightful Dubya Deceptions

We recently commented about the unbelievable poll that stated that more people viewed George W. Bush favorably now than President Obama, despite the fact that Obama has cleaned up the colossal mess that good ol’ Dubya made here and abroad. Here’s an article from our April 25, 2004 edition which may explain this phenomenon. It seems that people were actually comforted by the Bush Administration’s lies and deceptions.

Many Americans Comforted By Bush Administration Deceptions

According to recent polls, George W. Bush’s approval ratings have improved, despite revelations of deceptions and misinformation from the White House concerning the war in Iraq by Paul O’Neill, Richard Clarke, John Dean and Bob Woodward. The polls indicate that having a lying, deceitful president leading the country comforts many Americans.

Dwight Rodman of Festerville, Oklahoma, said, “That’s what Presidents do. Nixon lied about Watergate. Clinton lied about having sex with all those women. Now Bush has lied about WMDs in Iraq. It’s just the American way. Now if someone told the truth, then I’d worry.”

Mabel Ellis of Port Drudgery, New Jersey, said, “At least President Bush doesn’t have sex with nubile young interns. I can live with a multi-billion dollar war from which we have no clear cut way of exiting and will put us in excruciating debt for years to come. But having sex is something I will not tolerate.”

Theodore M. Farnsworth IV of Crudopolis, Texas, said, “I’m the CEO of a major energy corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the environmental damage I’m doing by fracking. Four more years!”

Byron G. Caldwell of Big Spud, Idaho, said, “I’m the CEO of a major logging corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the regulations that are being relaxed so I can plunder America’s forests. Four more years!”

Mildred Dunwiddy of Backwater, South Carolina, said, “Oh, its just a little white lie. Besides, I think the biggest problem this nation is facing is that slut Janet Jackson and her malfunctioning wardrobe.”

Phil Smoots of Gator Crossing, Florida, said, “How can America be worrying about a quagmire in Iraq, when people of the same sex are getting married? I just don’t get this country.”

Jerry Scheissner of Fuddsworth, Missouri, said, “If things are going so bad in Iraq, how come we don’t see any pictures of coffins? How ’bout that, smart guy!”

Rev. Aloysius T. Terry of Piggettstown, Mississippi, said, “I’m an evangelical minister and I say President Bush is leading us one step closer to Armageddon and the Rapture. Halleluiah!”

The Republican Con Is On!

So Donald Trump, fresh from his comments on breastfeeding women, is the front runner of the Republican party with a meager 15 months left before the elections? Wow! What are we going to do? We guess that everyone should buy a tarp to protect themselves from all the bullshit that’s being propelled by the media, who are actually giving credibility to this con job. But then again this is Con-a-thon 2016. What else should we expect?

The Republicans are masters of propaganda and the art of the con. They’ve learned their lessons from 2012 and 2008. That’s why they’ve got the clown car filled with sixteen candidates; just enough flavor-of-the-months to get through to November 2016. In case you haven’t figured it out, the GOP establishment, mainly the Koch Brothers, have decided that Jeb Bush and Scott Walker are the best candidates. So to protect these guys from actual scrutiny, they’ve got fourteen other candidates to sacrifice themselves for the Republican cause by saying outrageous statements that make the other guys in the clown car appear to be sane. Donald Trump is just the first. Do you honestly think ‘the Donald’ will be selected to be the standard bearer for the Republican party? It looks like Mike Huckabee could be the second with his statements about Obama putting the Jews in the oven with the Iran deal. We know from 2012 that Rick ‘the Dick’ Santorum is good for several months worth of spewing forth crap and Chris Christie is chock full of hot air. Just look at him for Pete’s sake! And then there’s Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul…it’s a cornucopia of blithering insanity. But in the end, the Republicans will put another Bush on the ticket and America will be stuck with another media anointed Bush-Clinton election. Freedom of choice in America? The Con is On!

Donald Trump's outrageous statements about immigrants, John McCain and breastfeeding women make the other candidates in the Republican clown car appear sane.

Please Texas…Secede!

The Texas school board recently stated that Texas students will begin using new textbooks which teach that slavery was just a side issue to the civil war and never mention Jim Crow laws or the Ku Klux Klan. So basically it whitewashes racism and the whole Civil War. Then there’s that whole Jade Helm 15 crap. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Texas is a red state filled with conservative christians, who also believe that the earth is less than 10,000 years old and that man co-existed with the dinosaurs. This is pretty dangerous stuff folks. Texas is purposely teaching their children false dogmas and history that just isn’t true. We think that Texas should make good on its repeated threats during Obama’s presidency and just secede from the United States. Actually we beg of you Texas; please take the Bushes, Rick Perry and Ted Cruz and form your own country! You’ll be happier without us and we’ll definitely be happier without you and your Texas size egos!

A Texas school teacher proudly teaches his class that slavery was fun and Negroes enjoyed the hell out of it and a conservative christian reminds the kids that the earth is only 6000 years old. — Texas now teaches its children that the whole slavery thing was just one big festival and Jesus probably rode a brontosaurus.

Rewind: Bullshit Accomplished

From the “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” file, a recent poll indicated that George W. Bush now polls more favorably than Hillary Clinton and President Obama. Really??!!! Are Americans’ memories that bad? Apparently so. We’ve posted before about Louisiana Republicans blaming the Hurricane Katrina response on Obama. It’s a pretty common phenomenon that people become more popular once they’re out of office (the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder comes to mind). But have Americans really forgotten the crap that ol’ Dubya got us into like the financial crisis, the Hurricane Katrina response, the monstrous deficit, infrastructure collapse, environmental destruction, the failed pursuit of Osama Bin Laden and of course the clusterf*ck otherwise known as the Iraq War. We think it’s time for a little rewind to our September 25, 2003 edition when America was still basking in the glow of Dubya prancing around in a flight suit on the deck of an aircraft carrier proclaiming to the world ‘Mission Accomplished’. More like ‘Bullshit Accomplished’.

President Bush, prancing around in a flight suit, thanks gullible Americans for believing his crap as he wins the Emmy for the Best Politically Motivated Photo Op of the Year. — President Bush wins the Emmy for the Best Politically Motivated Photo Op of the Year.