Satire that shovels it to the public – just like the real media!
In honor of ‘the Donald’ leading the other Republican clowns in the early months of Con-a-thon 2016 and Dubya writing a fundraising letter for his brother Jeb, we’d thought we would rewind back to a photo-toon we did in our April 25, 2004 issue; back when Trump was king of reality television with his new hit ‘The Apprentice’ and Dubya was using scare tactics on the American sheeple so he could have four more years of ‘presidentin’. Ahhhh! Fun times!
In mid-July, the United States and five other world powers, Great Britain, France, Germany, Russia and China, reached a historic agreement with Iran which will significantly stifle Iran’s ability to make a nuclear device while easing sanctions, which were destroying Iran’s economy. Most people hailed this as an historic accord. Scientists recently proclaimed their support for the deal as well as retired generals and admirals. And yet, the agreement is in danger of not passing the Senate. Hmmm…..given the history of the Republicans dealing with the Obama administration, we wonder who could possibly object to this ground breaking piece of diplomacy? Hmmm…who could it be?
That’s right folks. The whiny, sucky, crybabies known as the Republican party and a few war mongering Democrats like Chuck Schumer, plan to vote against it. You see it’s pretty simple. Obama supports it, so the GOP is against it. It’s been that way since 2009. Plus, most of the Republicans are on the payroll of the military industrial complex defense companies so naturally they follow the slogan that ‘Diplomacy is for wimps. War is just good business’. And senile Senator from Arizona John McCain, just wants to ‘bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran’. The Republican’s objection to the Iran deal is proof that they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the White House or to handle foreign relations. Not unless we want more backbreaking, money sucking quagmires like Afghanistan or Iraq. Yep, the same people who brought you the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq want to bring you a glorious new quagmire in Iran.
We recently commented about the unbelievable poll that stated that more people viewed George W. Bush favorably now than President Obama, despite the fact that Obama has cleaned up the colossal mess that good ol’ Dubya made here and abroad. Here’s an article from our April 25, 2004 edition which may explain this phenomenon. It seems that people were actually comforted by the Bush Administration’s lies and deceptions.
According to recent polls, George W. Bush’s approval ratings have improved, despite revelations of deceptions and misinformation from the White House concerning the war in Iraq by Paul O’Neill, Richard Clarke, John Dean and Bob Woodward. The polls indicate that having a lying, deceitful president leading the country comforts many Americans.
Dwight Rodman of Festerville, Oklahoma, said, “That’s what Presidents do. Nixon lied about Watergate. Clinton lied about having sex with all those women. Now Bush has lied about WMDs in Iraq. It’s just the American way. Now if someone told the truth, then I’d worry.”
Mabel Ellis of Port Drudgery, New Jersey, said, “At least President Bush doesn’t have sex with nubile young interns. I can live with a multi-billion dollar war from which we have no clear cut way of exiting and will put us in excruciating debt for years to come. But having sex is something I will not tolerate.”
Theodore M. Farnsworth IV of Crudopolis, Texas, said, “I’m the CEO of a major energy corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the environmental damage I’m doing by fracking. Four more years!”
Byron G. Caldwell of Big Spud, Idaho, said, “I’m the CEO of a major logging corporation. The President’s lies are keeping the attention off me and all the regulations that are being relaxed so I can plunder America’s forests. Four more years!”
Mildred Dunwiddy of Backwater, South Carolina, said, “Oh, its just a little white lie. Besides, I think the biggest problem this nation is facing is that slut Janet Jackson and her malfunctioning wardrobe.”
Phil Smoots of Gator Crossing, Florida, said, “How can America be worrying about a quagmire in Iraq, when people of the same sex are getting married? I just don’t get this country.”
Jerry Scheissner of Fuddsworth, Missouri, said, “If things are going so bad in Iraq, how come we don’t see any pictures of coffins? How ’bout that, smart guy!”
Rev. Aloysius T. Terry of Piggettstown, Mississippi, said, “I’m an evangelical minister and I say President Bush is leading us one step closer to Armageddon and the Rapture. Halleluiah!”
So Donald Trump, fresh from his comments on breastfeeding women, is the front runner of the Republican party with a meager 15 months left before the elections? Wow! What are we going to do? We guess that everyone should buy a tarp to protect themselves from all the bullshit that’s being propelled by the media, who are actually giving credibility to this con job. But then again this is Con-a-thon 2016. What else should we expect?
The Republicans are masters of propaganda and the art of the con. They’ve learned their lessons from 2012 and 2008. That’s why they’ve got the clown car filled with sixteen candidates; just enough flavor-of-the-months to get through to November 2016. In case you haven’t figured it out, the GOP establishment, mainly the Koch Brothers, have decided that Jeb Bush and Scott Walker are the best candidates. So to protect these guys from actual scrutiny, they’ve got fourteen other candidates to sacrifice themselves for the Republican cause by saying outrageous statements that make the other guys in the clown car appear to be sane. Donald Trump is just the first. Do you honestly think ‘the Donald’ will be selected to be the standard bearer for the Republican party? It looks like Mike Huckabee could be the second with his statements about Obama putting the Jews in the oven with the Iran deal. We know from 2012 that Rick ‘the Dick’ Santorum is good for several months worth of spewing forth crap and Chris Christie is chock full of hot air. Just look at him for Pete’s sake! And then there’s Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul…it’s a cornucopia of blithering insanity. But in the end, the Republicans will put another Bush on the ticket and America will be stuck with another media anointed Bush-Clinton election. Freedom of choice in America? The Con is On!
An amazing thing happened here in Arizona recently. Self proclaimed democratic socialist and Democratic candidate for president, Bernie Sanders, drew 11,000+ people to his rally in Phoenix, Arizona. Let us repeat that. Liberal Bernie Sanders drew 11,000+ people to his rally in red state Arizona. That’s more than the 4,200 than conservative, billionaire blowhard Donald Trump drew when he was in Phoenix. (Of course, Donald Trump, being the egotistical, bombastic salesman that he is, claimed that 15,000 people attended, even though the Phoenix Fire department said it was 4,200). You’d think the so called ‘liberal’ media would be all over the Sanders rally, exclaiming 24/7 that a liberal drew record crowds in a red state. That night the local, mostly conservative media outlets gave it only a passing mention, but instead devoted several minutes to the Donald’s comments about Arizona Senator John McCain not being a war hero. We checked CNN the next day and nary a mention of Sanders amazing rally. But they sure had coverage of Donald Trump’s mouth.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the neocon media con is on! We’ll be posting more on this elaborate and concerted effort by monied interest to bamboozle the American public into voting for the Republican candidate of choice of the corporate oligarchy that runs this country. Right now Donald Trump is doing his crazy billionaire schtick to make the other Republican candidates look sane by comparison. Our corporate overlords’ hope is that by next summer, Jeb Bush or Scott Walker will be looking like the only reasonable choice, especially if the media gives little coverage to sane, responsible people like Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton.
The Texas school board recently stated that Texas students will begin using new textbooks which teach that slavery was just a side issue to the civil war and never mention Jim Crow laws or the Ku Klux Klan. So basically it whitewashes racism and the whole Civil War. Then there’s that whole Jade Helm 15 crap. Of course, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Texas is a red state filled with conservative christians, who also believe that the earth is less than 10,000 years old and that man co-existed with the dinosaurs. This is pretty dangerous stuff folks. Texas is purposely teaching their children false dogmas and history that just isn’t true. We think that Texas should make good on its repeated threats during Obama’s presidency and just secede from the United States. Actually we beg of you Texas; please take the Bushes, Rick Perry and Ted Cruz and form your own country! You’ll be happier without us and we’ll definitely be happier without you and your Texas size egos!
From the “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” file, a recent poll indicated that George W. Bush now polls more favorably than Hillary Clinton and President Obama. Really??!!! Are Americans’ memories that bad? Apparently so. We’ve posted before about Louisiana Republicans blaming the Hurricane Katrina response on Obama. It’s a pretty common phenomenon that people become more popular once they’re out of office (the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder comes to mind). But have Americans really forgotten the crap that ol’ Dubya got us into like the financial crisis, the Hurricane Katrina response, the monstrous deficit, infrastructure collapse, environmental destruction, the failed pursuit of Osama Bin Laden and of course the clusterf*ck otherwise known as the Iraq War. We think it’s time for a little rewind to our September 25, 2003 edition when America was still basking in the glow of Dubya prancing around in a flight suit on the deck of an aircraft carrier proclaiming to the world ‘Mission Accomplished’. More like ‘Bullshit Accomplished’.
Guess what everyone? It’s time for another presidential election. Didn’t we just finish this crap? Well, with a scant 16 months left before the 2016 presidential election, it’s time for CON-A-THON 2016… and we’ve already got 16 Republican presidential candidates. That’s right! 16!!!! You’d think that all this choice would be a good thing. But we’re talking about the modern Republican party. We’re not sure who coined the term, but the most accurate description of this collection of colossal egos has to be the Republican Clown Car (They’re also available for birthday parties and bar mitzvahs). Early polls are indicating that Jeb “Don’t Call Me Bush” Bush and perennial blowhard and teabagger favorite Donald Trump, are leading the polls. But if you peruse our archives for Con-a-thon 2012, you’ll see that there was a new flavor-of-the-week back then, too. One week it was Newt Gingrich; the next it was Herman Cain; and the next it was Rick Santorum, who apparently hasn’t learned his lesson that he’s not appealing to a wide swath of Americans. Oh well…this circus and extraordinary waste of money is sure to be amusing for the next 16 months. Really???!!! Another 16 months of this shit???!!!!
The Trans-Pacific Partnership is a huge, free trade agreement with the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Japan and eight other Asian-Pacific countries. It’s just about a done deal thanks to the Republican Congress who wants to shove this through as fast as possible and a pliant President Obama, (sometimes known as the Compromiser-in-Chief), who is proving that he is as big a corporatist as Bill Clinton, Reagan and the Bushes. While proponents tout that this pact will lead to economic growth, development and job creation (NAFTA anyone?), opponents are sounding the alarm that the agreements contents are being kept secret because it’s really a gigantic gift to give multinational corporations to do whatever the hell they want including off-shoring more American jobs, exposing the U.S. to unsafe food products and empowering corporations to smash our environmental and health safeguards.
If any American had any doubt that representative democracy is dead in the U.S., take a look at the secrecy involved between the corporate world and congress to get this thing passed on the fast track. There is nothing democratic about the passing of this new deal and it pretty much confirms that America is a corporate oligarchy. Corporate States of America or Holy Corporate Empire; either one sufficiently describes America today. We also think there may be another reason why Obama wants to the same thing as Boehner, Cruz and other CONgressional Republicans, which is illustrated in the following photo-toon.
Jeb Bush has made it official; he is running for President in 2016. He’s even released his new logo, which not surprisingly doesn’t include his last name. Hmmmm….we wonder why?
Well, we’ve released America’s response to Jeb’s new logo. Just like the war on drugs; just say No! to Jeb!
