politics – Page 13 – BilgeBucket Gazette

Trump: Making America A Shithole

For the approximately the millionth time during his clusterf*ck of a presidency, American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, managed to stick his foot in his mouth, this time pissing off a sizable chunk of the world. In discussing immigration and DACA, he lamented that the United States gets only immigrants from shithole countries like Haiti and El Salvador and wished for more people from Norway. And for the millionth time, conservative Republican lackeys bolted forward and disgracefully tried to spin Trump’s racist drivel.

Norwegians overwhelmingly rejected Trump’s offer, seeing that they’ve been named the happiest nation on the planet. Citizens from all over the globe also condemned Trump’s deplorable remarks. One of the more biting responses was from Christian Christensen, an American professor of journalism at Stockholm University in neighboring Sweden, who said on Twitter: “Of course people from #Norway would love to move to a country where people are far more likely to be shot, live in poverty, get no healthcare because they’re poor, get no paid parental leave or subsidized daycare and see fewer women in political power. #Shithole” Ouch! We couldn’t have said it better ourselves although we’ll try with this photo-toon.

A wise Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader. — A wise, happy Norwegian rejects American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s tempting invitation to immigrate to a shithole country like the United States with its shithole leader.

Ajit Pai = A Shit Pie

The assholes keep coming out of the woodwork in the Trump administration. The latest jerk is none other than FCC chairman former Verizon lawyer, Ajit Pai,(or as we’re crudely calling him from now on, Ashit Pie, who this week brought an end to net neutrality and quite possibly will change how the Internet works in the future. Pie and his stupid, big ass coffee mug (because bigger is always better, folks), commented in the snarkiest way possible that the end of net neutrality will provide us with more freedom, which is corporate talk for even more profits for mega-rich telecom giants like Verizon, Comcast and AT&T and less bang for the buck for the average consumer and complete devastation for small businesses. He even produced a repulsive YouTube video (which we’re not going to provide a link to: FU Ashit Pie!) promoting all the things you can still do on the Internet, like gramming their food. Mark Hamill even slammed Ashit Pie for wielding a light saber in the video because a Jedi ‘would never enrich giant corporations’.

The surprising thing here is that the vast majority (83%) of the American public, covering the whole political spectrum( 75% of Republicans, 86% of Independents and 89% of Democrats), are in favor of keeping net neutrality regulations. You would think that most politicians on both sides of the aisle would be pushing to reinstate the laws. This opens the door for broadband providers to possibly throttle content based on politics, thus jeopardizing freedom of speech. It says in the Constitution that the general welfare of the United States citizenry should be promoted, not the coffers of a few already wealthy individuals. The Obama administration was right when it viewed the Internet as a public utility. In the 21st century, it is a basic part of every American’s life. Everyone should have access and all traffic should be treated equally just like electricity or water for our homes or phone calls. But thanks to corporate lackey Republicans, the American public is getting screwed once again.

No matter what happens, Ashit Pie is now one of the most hated persons in America behind pharma bro Martin Shkreli and just about everyone else in the Trump administration like Scott Pruitt, Mike Pence, Rex Tillerson, Stephen Miller, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Wilbur Ross, Steve Mnuchin, Jared Kushner…sweet freaking Zeus, the list goes on and on and the swamp just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger… One thing’s for sure: Ashit Pie is one massive DICKHEAD!

FCC chairman, big mug aficionado and colossal DICKHEAD, Ajit Pai, a.k.a. A Shit Pie, explains to a consumer peon how awesome freedom from regulation will be much to the delight of a nearby plutocrat telecom stockholder. — FCC chairman, big mug aficionado and colossal DICKHEAD, Ajit Pai, a.k.a. Ashit Pie, explains to a consumer peon how awesome freedom from regulation will be much to the delight of a nearby plutocrat telecom stockholder.

Arpaio?! Seriously?!

In a stunner that we certainly didn’t see coming, Doug Jones beat bible thumper and teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, in a special election and will now be the first Democratic Senator for Alabama in 25 years. This will also hopefully put Moore out of the national spotlight(we’re absolutely sick of him), although he’s still got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do to the women he’s harassed.

So are what are racist, authoritarian, conservative, christian Republicans to do? Have no fear, wingnuts. Fresh from his pardoning by Donald Trump, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced that “he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering running for the U.S. Senate” in Arizona. Seriously…that’s right, folks: America’s favorite racist, authoritarian law enforcer says he may run for Jeff Flake’s vacant seat in 2018.

We thought the 85 year old Arpaio was losing it before, but this pretty much makes it official. He got thumped by Paul Penzone for a county level position, and yet he thinks he can seriously win a state wide election given his notoriety. If it wasn’t for his pal Trump, he’d be doing some time. Arizonans are sick of his schtick. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Retire already! Ride off into the sunset like a good former sheriff and leave the good people of Arizona alone. Because you know what…we’re seriously, seriously, seriously NOT voting for you!

Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he's seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him. — Authoritarian, colossal egoist and former Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, announces that he’s seriously, seriously, seriously considering a run for the Senate, to which Arizona voters reply that they will seriously, seriously, seriously not vote for him.

GOP: The Party Of Moral Hypocrisy

With the special election for the Alabama senator coming up next Tuesday, the Republicans are walking back their earlier condemnations of Roy Moore and are now throwing their full support behind him. America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, said “We don’t want to have a liberal Democrat in Alabama, believe me.” Oh yes…we’d much rather have a sexual predator. Mitch McConnell, a.k.a. Turtle Boy, who previously condemned Moore, now states, in typical Turtle Boy form, that he’s going to let Alabamans make the choice. And of course, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, who previously withdrawn support for Moore, has now said he’ll work with Moore if he’s elected while hypocritically saying that Al Franken, who has also allegedly done some groping of women, (though not teenagers), should resign as Senator. Alabama conservative, evangelical, christian Republicans are also fully supportive of Moore, one church even comparing Moore to Jesus. Who knew that Jesus liked to sexually harass teenage girls.

But unfortunately, Alabama is a deep red state and it certainly looks like Moore will probably win. And people wonder why no one wants to visit Alabama.

American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump and his GOP cohorts, Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and Lyin' Ted Cruz endorse teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, while claiming moral superiority. — American CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump and his morally superior GOP cohorts, Turtle Boy Mitch McConnell and Lyin’ Ted Cruz enthusiastically endorse teenage girl aficionado, Roy Moore, while condemning Democratic Senator Al Franken.

Making Those Poor Plutocrats Richer

As expected, the Republican corporate lackeys passed their ugly tax bill early Saturday morning by a 51-49 vote much to the delight of their plutocrat benefactors. This tax cut plan, which benefits mostly the 1%ers, including America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, is being negatively received by mostly everyone. It also cuts the corporate tax rate from thirty-five percent to a mere twenty percent. But despite all the crowing by Republican corporate lackeys, the bill doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, which is one reason why they’re trying to jam it through. But the GOP had to also act quickly on the tax cut bill because Trump may not be available for much longer with Michael Flynn pleading guilty of lying to the FBI on Friday, and Trump tweeting that he knew Flynn lied which means he admits to obstruction of justice. Hence, another reason for rushing even though it was mostly unreadable (see Montana Senator Jon Tester’s video noting the shoddiness of the rewrites).

What’s astonishing is that there are people, a.k.a Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, who still believe the myth of trickle down economics. When the rich get money, they don’t let it leave their greedy little hands. They’re not going to invest it; they keep it or spend it on their favorite people; themselves. To illustrate this point, Iowa senator Chuck Grassley stated “I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing, as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” Yeah, what about buying food, clothing, health care and the necessities of life, which are becoming more expensive thanks to the out of control greedy assholes like Grassley and his fellow Republicans in this country. We like the Young Turks commentary on this colossal jackass. But this is indicative of how all Republicans think of the middle class and poor. If we were Iowans who were among the 99%, we’d start a torch and pitchfork parade to Grassley’s farm for some up close and personal explanations and to possibly explain to Mr. Grassley how compassion for your fellow human beings actually works.

Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump's tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them. — Some clueless Trump supporters, a.k.a. rubes, still believe that the plutocrats who own the Republican Party and will benefit the most from Trump’s tax cuts, are actually going to let money trickle down to them.

A Little Toxic Crude Oil On Your Vegetables

There’s one thing that is working well in the Trump administration and that is the flak generator of meaningless crap that America’s CEO/Dictator, Donald Trump, spews forth on a daily basis. This drivel distracts the general public from news like the Keystone Pipeline spilling 210,000 gallons in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago. Of course, this news flew under the radar thanks to our orange haired man child in the White House.

This leak came at a crucial time as construction of the Keystone Pipeline was up for approval in Nebraska. Many citizens of that state are concerned that leaks will become commonplace and ruin their drinking water, provide toxins for the cattle and destroy crops of vegetables. But unfortunately, in typical conservative fashion, Nebraska chose short monetary gain over environmental health. The Nebraska Public Service Commission voted 3-2 to allow the pipeline thus bringing potentially thousands of jobs temporarily but only about 50 permanent positions.

EPA chief and anti-science, know nothing lawyer, Scott Pruitt, (we openly despise this man!) always touts the oil industry’s position of how safe drilling and transporting the oil is. We’ve mentioned repeatedly the lies and deception Republicans spread about drilling. It bears repeating this fact that there’s been 3,300 pipeline incidents since 2010. Yes, 3,300 incidents!!!! The fact is that numerous things can go wrong in drilling and extracting oil, especially in the midwest where temperatures regularly flux between brutal heat and mind numbing cold. Well, we hope Nebraskans enjoy a little toxic crude oil on their vegetables.

Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills, while a pliant rube touts his love of vegetables covered with toxic crude oil. — Trump administration EPA chief, non-scientist and oil industry lackey, Scott Pruitt, explains to a pliant rube that the important thing is oil corporation profits, not oil spills.

The Ol’ “I Don’t Recall” Ploy

Once again, Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has broken out the ol’ tried and true “I don’t recall” ploy. We’ve commented before about his stonewalling. But recently, Sessions doubled down the tactic showing selective memory concerning meetings with the Russians. He stated that he had no recollection of the March 2016 meeting with George Papadopolous until he saw the news reports and then he suddenly remembered. So in short: Sessions said he could not remember much about Russian influence on the Trump campaign, except when he could block such influence.

One thing’s for sure: Sessions is sure doing conservative Republican icon, St. Ronald Reagan, proud. Whether it’s perjury or using the Department of Justice for political investigations or just out and out racism, Sessions is proving himself worthy of the greatest obstructionists in Republican history and considering the last seventy years: Allen Dulles’ CIA, Watergate, Iran Contra, the Iraq War, the Great Recession, etc… that’s saying something.

The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol' "I don't recall" ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency. — The ghost of conservative icon, St Ronald Reagan, approves of Attorney Confederate General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, using the ol’ “I don’t recall” ploy, which he used effectively to avoid telling the truth during his presidency.

Sleazed And Abused

Controversial Republican candidate for Senator in Alabama and bible thumper extraordinaire, Roy Moore, has recently become even more reprehensible, if that’s possible. Moore is running for Senate in a special election against Democrat Doug Jones to fill Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III’s seat. But last week, a woman came forward and claimed that Moore initiated a sexual encounter when she was 14 and Moore was 32. Yikes!!! Talk about sleazy! But more women have come forward since. Today, a fifth woman has accused Moore of sexual misconduct when she was 16.

What’s even more disturbing than Moore’s seeming penchant for teenage girls are the boneheaded responses from Moore supporters in the GOP actually defending his actions. The stupidest was Alabama state auditor Jim Ziegler’s response that “Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus,”. Wow! In a unbelievable outbreak of good sense, some GOP senators, including Turtle Boy, Mitch McConnell, have stated that Moore should probably leave the race.

If Moore does leave the race, he can always go hang around with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson, from Dazed and Confused, and they can scope out the high school girls.

Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey's creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do. — Alabama senate candidate, bible thumper extraordinaire, and colossal hypocrite, Roy Moore, hangs out with Matthew McConaughey’s creepy character, David Wooderson from the movie Dazed and Confused and together they scope out the high school girls. Yes they do.

General Disappointment

When American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump appointed former general John Kelly as Chief of Staff, many breathed a sigh of relief in hoping that maybe the stoic ex-Marine could keep Trump in line. Ahhh! What naivete! John Kelly has proven in recent weeks that he’s not really not that different from Trump and that he’s only another enabler to the orange haired man-child who is our current President.

Take Kelly defending Trump’s recent call to a military widow where he told a grieving widow “he knew what he signed up for”. Kelly not only defended Trump but criticized Representative Frederica Wilson’s criticism of Trump’s wording. Trump’s press secretary,a.k.a. secretary of deception, Sarah Huckabee Sanders even went as far as to say it was inappropriate of Wilson to question Kelly because he was “a four star general”. Well how authoritarian of you Ms. Huckabee Sanders! Mr. Kelly isn’t in the military anymore. This is a democracy and there is such a thing as freedom of speech and freedom of the press, which is guaranteed by the U.S. constitution. When John Kelly says and does things which are undemocratic and wrong, it is our right as Americans to question him.

Speaking of which…last week, Kelly showed his ignorance on history when he claimed that the Civil War could have been avoided if only the South and North would have been willing to compromise. Like Professor Stephanie McCurry says, “That statement could have been given by [former Confederate general] Jubal Early in 1880”. Well, the North and South did compromise before in 1820 (Missouri Compromise) and the Compromise of 1850 and those compromises only postponed the inevitable. It took a war to rid this nation of the disgusting institution of slavery. But unfortunately, thanks to the botched Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, racism persists today. Unbelievably, we have Confederate revisionists in power in this country who want to return to those glory days of white supremacists, KKK marches and frightened minorities. Mr. Kelly: your authoritarianism and racism are showing and it’s pretty ugly.

American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump's authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, sez if only the slaves would have compromised and agreed to a pay cut, the Civil War could have been avoided, which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight. — American CEO/Dictator Donald Trump’s authoritarian Chief of Staff, John Kelly, revises history by claiming failure to compromise caused the Civil War which delights Confederate Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and an old, hooded, Confederate white knight.

The Normalization Of Dubya

The Trump presidency has been frightening enough, but another disturbing trend is becoming more frequent since Trump’s election: the normalization of right wing conservatism. For some reason, only Republicans like Bob Corker and super-hypocrite Jeff Flake are heralded for ‘standing up’ to Donald Trump, even though they’ve voted for everything he’s pushed forward.

Now for some reason, some people, including Democrats are willing to forget the horrendous presidency of George W. Bush or at least say he wasn’t all that bad. Are you freaking kidding???!!!! Bush and his cadre royally fucked this country up and now people are embracing him just because Donald Trump is so awful? Bush even recently gave a resounding well received speech about the evils of Trumpism. That’s right, DUBYA!!!! This is how screwed up this country is! We commented before about how Megyn Kelly has been hired to try and normalize right wing conservatism. We’re seeing it all over the place in the main stream corporate media. Chris Wallace has been presented as a somewhat sane veteran ‘journalist’ now instead of the partisan hack he truly is. If you ask us, you should never trust Fox News, a.k.a. the Republican Propaganda Network and you should never praise Dubya as being a font of wisdom. In case you’ve forgotten, he was the worst president since Nixon. He should never be forgiven for the clusterf*ck that was Iraq, the Great Recession, which his policies help create or for his almost completely running this country into the ground with his massive tax cuts for the rich, not to mention gutting environmental regulations and denying climate change like Trump is doing. From 2003-2009, we mocked and ridiculed Dubya and his fellow Republicans for the lies and deception they spewed on the American public and now the Republicans are doing it again, with a different moron in charge.

We came across one of our old photo-toons from 2006, when Dubya got counseling from James Baker through the Iraq Study Group that staying in Iraq was a bad idea. Hell getting into Iraq was an even worse idea. But typical of all conservative Republicans, they will never admit that they made a mistake. To this day, Bush won’t admit that his decision to unilaterally invade Iraq was a mistake, despite the fact that it has brought turmoil to the Middle East likely for the next half century. His trillion dollar debacle destabilized the whole region and gave rise to not only Al-Qaeda infiltrating Iraq, but the rise of ISIS later on during Obama’s presidency. His stubbornness to listen to any other voice other than Republican Neo-cons like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, put this country in the dumper. It was only the political ‘thumping’ the Republicans took in the 2006 election, which brought Democrats back into power that he considered other options about Iraq. And now were seeing another conservative Republican named Donald Trump pulling the same ‘I’m the Decider’ crap that Dubya pulled. The only evolution that is occurring in the Republican party is from having a President who is a moron to one that is a f*cking moron.

The Republican President has evolved from being a childish moron to being a childish f*cking moron.