Rewind: Dubya’s Healthy Forests

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

The Republicans have long been anti-science and pro-corporation and it shows in their voting record, the fact that they put industry insiders in key posts in government agencies like the EPA and their incredibly stupid efforts at promoting conservation; Donald Trump’s recommendation at raking forests during the California wildfires a few years ago comes to mind. Which reminds us of Dubya’s promotion of his Healthy Forest Initiative which promotes the logging industry logging the hell out of forests. Hey, if there are no trees left, you can’t have wildfires, right? This article comes from our July 17, 2003 issue.

Bush Proposes New Healthy Forest Initiative

In response to the devastating wildfires in the western United States, President Bush has come up with a new Healthy Forest Initiative designed to reduce future forest fires.

“The idea behind this plan is that we thin the forests so that there are maybe ten or twelve trees per square mile. Maybe even less. That way, if a fire does start, no trees will burn. Forests can’t burn if there are no trees around. See, it’s a healthy forest. It’s a win-win for everyone. It’s a win for the economy. The logging industry will need more lumer . . . lumerber . . . log guys to cut down the trees. More workers will be needed to build the roads for the log guys. This will open up new areas of housing development and enable people to build houses safely in the forest without having to worry about losing their house in case of a fire.”

Mike Scoggins from the Sierra Club then asked, “What about all the wildlife that will be displaced by the thinned forest, new roads and new housing? Where are they going to go?”

President Bush shook his head and said, “People! That’s what zoos are for. All the animals can stay in zoos where we can manage them better. I’m tight with God and it’s his plan that all plants and animals obey their masters! Us!”

Bush then added, “Supporting this initiative is the American thing to do! You Sierra Club lima beans obviously must be for the terrorists!”

Homeland Security agents then rushed Scoggins and lead him away to a detention area for questioning and a good pummeling.

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