Tag Archive for society

Planet, Society, Economy

We’re environmentalists and science enthusiasts here at the Bucket and we’ve harped time and time again about how we need to the put Earth’s health first in economical decisions because there is no other planet we know of that supports life. Capitalist economies have protected the destructive fossil fuel and mining industries and now with climate change wreaking havoc on our planet’s ecosystems the lives of every living creature in is peril.

There’s an excellent video posted recently on YouTube by BigThink featuring astronaut Ron Garan that states this case beautifully. “We need to move from thinking economy, society, planet to planet, society, economy. That’s when we’re going to continue our evolutionary process,” Garan concludes.

In this season of peace on Earth, watch the video and reflect on how fragile our planet is and how important it is that we protect it.

There is no planet B – We must put Earth’s health first.

Rebel Without A Tattoo

It seems like everyone nowadays has a tattoo and body piercing. Some people even have them crawling up their necks (D-Backs Ryan Roberts) and on their face (Mike Tyson). Some people even get metal spikes installed in their heads. As little as thirty years ago, getting a tattoo or body piercing meant you were a rebel and a non-conformist.  Now it seems that if someone wants to rebel and be different, they need to decline to modify their bodies with art or metal. Could it be that being a square is the new cool? We wouldn’t go that far…but the possibility would be funny.

Here’s an article from our August 1, 2004 issue which covers just such a scenario.

College Student Rebels: Opts For No Tattoos Or Body Piercing

Austin McDaniel, who is a freshman at Arizona State University, decided to rebel against his peers and not get a tattoo or body piercing.

“I don’t know,” said McDaniel. “I just decided to go against the grain. I mean, come on. Either you got a ring through your tongue or you got a skull tattoo on your ass. It’s so cliché. I play by my own rules. I just thought I’d do something different.”

Other students noticed McDaniel’s rebellion. “I don’t get it,” said senior General Studies student Sean Heaton. “Why wouldn’t you want a piercing through your nose or tattoos on your neck? I just don’t understand this younger generation. I really fear for our future.”

Senior Communications major Melinda Kord agreed. “Some people just have to be non-conformist hooligans! For me there’s nothing sexier than a guy with tattoos and piercing all over his body. Take Brady Shelton. He’s got fifty tattoos on his body, a nose piercing, both of his ears pierced, his toes pierced, his eyebrows pierced, his tongue pierced, his lips pierced, his nipples pierced. He’s even got his you-know-what pierced. He’s so peachy keen! Golly, I wish he’d ask me out for a malted.”

However, Exercise Science major, April Donovan, said that McDaniel’s rebellion is sexy. “Sure, he doesn’t set off metal detectors, but I guess a non-decorated body is kinda radical. I do love a rebel. I wonder if he drives a station wagon. That would be so out there!”

Plastic Surgeon Offering Cell Phone Implants

Here’s an article from our January 13, 2007 issue.

World renowned German plastic surgeon, Dr. Hans Gesichtfuk, has announced a radical new kind of plastic surgery where cell phones are implanted into the patient’s skull and wired directly to the brain thus eliminating any cumbersome headgear or wires.

“Ya, dis is a radical new surgery dat vill revolutionize plastic surgery as ve know it,” said Gesichtfuk from his office in Munich. “Before you know it all de über celebrities like Britney Spears, Madonna and Tom Arnold vill have cell phones implanted on the side of deir faces. Dis is just de first step tovard creating de perfect bionic human; a six million dollar man or voman if you vill. Soon ve vill be intergrating iPods, iTunes, and iPhones into human beings. It is truly a golden age for cutting edge plastic surgeons like me. I’m not just going to be rich, I’m going to be über rich.”

Californian Heather Braun of Beverly Hills, California, who was one of the privileged first recipients, raved about the surgery. “This is soooooo fantastic! Now I don’t have to hold a phone in my hand or anything while I’m driving my Hummer. I can just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk talk all day long to all my girlfriends. It’s just like I’m talking to myself, but I’m actually hearing other voices. The only bad thing is that sometimes reception will be bad, but all I have to do is knock myself in the head and everything clears up and I’m none the worse. The only bad thing is that sometimes reception will be bad, but all I have to do is knock myself in the head and everything clears up and I’m none the worse.”

Many Americans can’t wait to have the avant-garde surgery. John Langley III of West Haverbrook, New York said, “I’m a big self improvement buff. I love making myself better. I’m going to be the first in my country club to get this surgery. Then I’m going to get a solid gold penis implant.”

Fred Griffin of Las Vegas, Nevada, said, “My friend Vinny is going to get the surgery, too. Man, we’re going to clean up at the poker tables: Vinny sits at the table and I spy on everybody. If I wear a tin foil hat, people will think I’m a homeless guy just talking to myself. This is a foolproof plan that can’t possibly fail!”

Tiffany George of Scottsdale, Arizona said, “I know I’m only in high school, but I’ve just got to get this surgery. I’ll be like, so popular! Maybe instead of getting his stupid, life saving, heart bypass surgery Daddy can buy me this for my birthday instead.”